Josh is Back

Hey guys, it’s Josh.

The last month has been super fun. I’ve really loved getting to hang out with Ashley and the fellows. I enjoy the simple things in life like prayer partner walks, chilling on a boat, or sitting on a porch. I’m thankful for lots of time to do that.

Besides chilling, a lot happened:

My friend Ethan got engaged! I made the trip to Blacksburg to celebrate, and it was awesome.

I went home for the opening weekend of duck season.

I went to Ashley and Sam’s lake house and went fishing.

I went to the State Fair with a bunch of the fellows. I lost a lot of money on games, but it was super fun hanging out with everyone.

I went to the Duke game with Luke Harvin (former fellow & awesome dude), Bryan, and AG.

I got to go hunting with my boss Coburn, and it was an awesome time.

Huge life update: After years of refusal, I decided to give La Croix seltzer a try. I never thought I’d say it, but it’s actually pretty good.

Work update:

The wheels are rolling at RDG Commercial. There is a lot of exciting stuff going on. I’m getting to help with a lot of development and acquisitions projects. I’ve gotten to learn a ton of practical ways to incorporate the biblical economy into daily business practices. The guys at RDG talk a lot about the practice of “gleaning” and how it applies to the way that we relate to value, risk, and other people in the business world. It is awesome that our every day work is kingdom work in very practical ways. I’m very blessed to get to be a part of it.

Stats:

1 Wood Duck (My first ever)

Fish caught:

-7 Bass

-2 Flounder (Personal best)

La Croixs Drank: lots

Duke Turnovers forced on defense: 6 

Duke Points: Not enough

State Fair Games Won: 0

Overthrown passes to elementary schools at Neighbor: 83

Until next time,

Josh

Joe's blog pt 2

Hello world it’s Joe again

This month I had the opportunity to attend the N.C. state fair for the first time. It was so much fun hanging out with Celeste, Evy, Lola, Jenna, Ann Grace, Ryan, and Josh. We tried different types of foods and played lots of games. While at the fair, I was reminded how passionate I am about fair games. The first game I played I won a capybara and it made me sooo happy. It was so funny watching Ann Grace carry my capybara while I went to play more fair games. I share this little bit about my experience at the fair because it was so fun. It wasn’t so fun just because I won a capybara (though that was great) but it was the people I was surrounded by. As I’ve gotten to know my fellow fellows better I’ve grown to love the time I spend with them. Heres a pic of us at the fair 😃

Raleigh Rookie: Episode 2

Hey there! Checking in again. Still doing the Fellows thing. Second month in, and I’m still learning all that goes on around me.

Today, I am really grateful for my job placement. Through my work, I’ve had the chance to engage directly with the material needs of those around me, which has been a gift. As a new person in town, I appreciate being immersed in the community’s challenges, especially the housing crisis. The staff around me teach me so much, particularly how joy can exist every day, even when we feel exhausted and frustrated.

Something on my mind as I wrap up October is the friendships in my life that have shown up recently. I’ve also been lucky enough to connect with a couple of old friends this month. It’s cool to watch each other grow up. When I get to know someone, I hope to know them my whole life, and I’m thankful when it really does happen that way.

This month, I also participated in one of the more impactful projects we’ve done in our classes. In our spiritual formation class, we wrote eulogies for ourselves. This exercise guided me through reflecting on how I hope to live and what legacy I want to leave behind. It helped me see what I’m doing and what I’m not doing in my life that aligns with my hopes. I realized how much time I spend on things that don’t truly reflect my values—like my work performance or how prepared I am. In the end, those aren’t what matter most to me. So, I hope to start living and focusing on what truly counts: being part of my community, knowing people, and embodying hospitality.

-Skip

October Recap, Work, and Community - Bryan

Howdy blog!

For a quick October recap, here’s some fun things that happened:

• We went on a walking tour of Raleigh with our Just Leadership class that was led by Raleigh Pilgrimage

• Spent a weekend at Docksology (Ashley and Sam’s lake house) with the Crutchfields and the guy fellows (where I caught my personal best catfish and spotted bass!)

• Volunteered with Jenna (who invited us to do this), AG, Lola, and Bailey at Forgiven Ministries, which is an amazing prison ministry

• Went to a Duke football game with Luke (former fellow who invited us), Josh, and AG

• Celebrated birthdays for AG, Ryan, Jenna, Virginia (fellow who recruited me), and Meg (did fellows with Virginia)

After two months of Fellows, I think the part that is pushing me towards Christ the most so far is my job at Neighbor to Neighbor. Each day can look a little bit different, and we (me and AG) are always working from the moment we get to work until the moment we leave. This is building up a lot of experiences within me that are valuable, whether it is determining the best plan of action to help a teen catch up in a class, driving a 15 passenger van around Southeast Raleigh, managing relationships and conflict in said van, tutoring for algebra, playing hours and hours of quarterback for the elementary age boys, rebounding basketballs for a teen excited to try out for his high school team, creating and automating spreadsheets to organize all sorts of educational data, and so much more. A lot of the work isn’t impressive, but I trust that it is exactly where the Lord wants me to grow. Having a vastly different background than the kids in the program is completely changing my perspectives in leadership, people’s background and circumstance, what is just, and what it really looks like to follow Christ. All of this change is simply coming from building relationships with people and serving them, and I am so thankful to be able to do that with the Neighbor to Neighbor community four times a week. While I spend some time getting to pour into that community, it feels like God is blessing me through it even more than I ever could do for them.

Also, I can’t say nice things about the Neighbor to Neighbor community without also saying a little bit about the fellows community. Ashley and Sam are some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, and it has been so wonderful living with them. It has been great continuing to learn more about the other fellows and building stronger friendships during this month. AG, Bailey, Celeste, Elijah, Emma, Evy, Jenna, Joe, Josh, Lola, Ryan, Skip, and Tessa are a fantastic group to do this season of life with as we all figure out how to do Raleigh Fellows together. Also, the fellows alum and overall church community have been so welcoming and inclusive of this new class of fellows.

This might be an abrupt ending, but thanks for reading!

Tootles!

Bryan

Working Hard or Hardly Working?

Don’t worry guys, I actually do have to work hard at my job, but tell me that’s not a catchy title.

October for me was marked by increased confidence and comfort in the job that was basically given to me before my interview. For those of you that don’t know where I work, I am a medical assistant at Neighbor Health Center, which is a nonprofit clinic serving all ages and a significant population of individuals who are uninsured or underinsured. This means a lot of things about the work environment I’m in. On one hand, it’s a Christian organization with no shortage of believers on staff; a place where we truly do have the opportunity to serve people from innumerable cultures, languages, and backgrounds. On the other hand, it is a place that can be busy and chaotic, where staff at every level face the threat of overextending themselves into burnout. Yet, I am beginning to feel comfortable there in that tension. While September at work left me feeling in over my head and overwhelmed by how much I didn’t know, October taught me how much I could learn just by trying anyways and asking lots of questions.

Perhaps even more significant for me though was the opportunity over the past month to begin to know my coworkers. I learned that our Ultrasound technician also hails from the Midwest, that one of my fellow medical assistants has a daughter about to graduate high school, one of the nurses spent over a decade in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship), and that my supervisor leads a small group outside of work. There are some incredible people working at Neighbor Health, but I’ve realized I won’t have the opportunity to learn at all from them unless I make it a point to ask good questions not just about my job, but about the more important things in their lives. It’s easy to recognize that our patients at Neighbor Health walk in the door with diverse backgrounds and perspectives, but it’s critical to understand that the same is true of the people working there every day.

Looking back on 2 months of working in the clinic, there are two times in a workday I look forward to the most. One is the space I get with each patient when I’m done asking about their medical history and medications, and instead get to ask about their day or tattoo or outfit while I take their blood pressure; the space where we get to connect for just a few moments. The other time I look forward to is the time before our first patient shows up, the calm before the storm, when I get to connect for even a few moments with the staff.

My nugget of advice after this month is to make a point of learning about your coworkers this week. Instead of working through lunch, sit with someone and talk. Instead of spending the last 15 minutes of the day preparing for the following day, take that time to learn about the person next to you before they leave. Find out what’s going on in people’s lives at work and follow up on it.

Alright, I’ve rambled enough.

With love,

Emma :)

Look Ma I'm Getting Mentored! - Tessa Cyrus

Mentorship was the aspect of the fellows program I was most excited and nervous about. I have craved guidance from more mature women of faith since high school and fruitlessly searched for it in college. I struggled feeling like I wasn’t the “right type” of Christian girl that older women would want to pour into. The last 6ish weeks, I have been pursued by wise and admirable women more than I have my entire life. My assigned mentor, Laura Thomas, plays a large role in this. Laura is kind, gentle, beautifully honest, and generous in her time, energy, and compassion. She has welcomed me into her home and her life, sharing what is on her heart with authenticity that makes space for me to do the same. In past ministry contexts, women like Laura made me feel othered, be it because of my own insecurities or how they responsed to them. I felt too goofy, not soft or feminine enough to earn their time. Laura meets me where I am while calling me higher through her actions and advice. In the midst of our busy schedules time with Laura always feels like rest.

Ashley, the program director, has been another guiding and steading presence. Ashley is a leader, friend, confidant, and an incredible mother and wife. Sometimes I think to be a “good” woman, you need to be like Meg from Little Women ( if you don’t understand that reference, you’re welcome, I just introduced you to a top 10 read/ watch depending on how much of a literary purist you are). And while the Meg’s of the world are wonderful and beautiful and needed, I am not one. I didn’t know how badly I needed to see a woman who was strong, bold, and charismatic, yet utterly devoted to and dependent on the Lord. She lights up every room she’s in and seeks out the one who is sitting in the shadows. The way she has made time for me, affirmed and embraced the characteristics God has given me has been a blessing beyond what I thought I would find this year. I feel cherished by Ashley, it’s awesome.

And there are so many others, Spencer (my host mom), Emily Walker (one of our teachers), Liz (student ministry leader), the fellows alumni girls, my fellows girls, the moms of the 8th grade girls I lead!! I am humbled by the way these women have made space for me and invited me in. They are all so wonderfully different, so intent on servitude to our Father. They guide with humility and encourage with grace. Their example helps me be a better sister in Christ to my precious 8th grade girls, co-workers, and the fellows.

“Think of me as a fellow patient in the same hospital who, having been admitted a little earlier, could give some advice.” - C.S. Lewis.

I am grateful for my fellow patients. Grateful for answered prayers, some I didn’t know to pray for.

Love ya, be good now!

Tessa

Reflections from October :,)

On Saturday, October 19th, I sat down in Beow’s Books & Brews to write my own eulogy.

Yes, you read that right. A eulogy for myself, written by myself, to be read at my hypothetical funeral on Monday.

Let me set the scene for you. Last month, we were assigned this project to think about our hopes and dreams for our lives. And to set it to paper and speak with confidence that at the end of our life, we would like these things to have happened. AHH! I would be lying if I said I was looking forward to it.

But here I am, on a Saturday afternoon after a prayer walk with Bryan at Shelley Lake, sitting with other fellows as we all ponder what we hope our lives will amount to by the end of it. Yeah, super casual.

I was afraid of it for so many reasons! For one, creative writing feels so intimidating to me! But so is dreaming of the future and what I hope will happen. On top of that, reading it in front of 15 other people? Okay, maybe that’s just three reasons, but all three basically cover every aspect of this assignment.

Thankfully, Evy invited us to work on our eulogies together. And Bryan advised me on our prayer walk to not take it overly seriously, which I had been! Add some silliness, while still allowing myself to be honest. (THANK YOU EVY & BRYAN!!)

Our little homework session in Beow’s is one of my favorite memories from October. I was encouraged as I thought about each of the 13 other Fellows in my class who are so different from myself, and yet, isn’t that the beauty of fellowship with the Body of Christ? I don’t know if you guys have ever read anything by Deitrich Bonhoeffer, but I would’ve never guessed that out of all the books we had to read over the summer that our group would latch onto the one written by a German theologian who was involved in a Hitler assassination attempt as much as we have. But I guess I’m grateful; this group is committed to each other! Bonhoeffer is quoted often in our times together (mostly by Ryan and Tessa who always have the coolest things to say), but the ideas presented in “Life Together” are not an abstract theological concept here, they are a practical reality in our little group.

On October 8th, my mentor Meg passed away. Much of my life in October felt shaped by the weight of loss. Before coming to Raleigh, I prayed often for a mentor who would share her life with me, and show me what a life of faithfulness looks like in each season of life. I’ve often been surrounded by believers who are my age, and while that has been deeply beneficial and formative for me, I have found it equally as beneficial to learn from those who have walked the path already. In preparation for Fellows, I prayed specifically for Meg to be my mentor. As the one who interviewed me and who kept up with me regularly throughout the semester leading up to my move, I could see the way she loved out of an overflow of her love for the Lord, not out of an obligation to me or anyone else. I wanted to see life the way she did bad!!

Truly, it was only out of the Lord’s kindness that I got to be a small part of Meg’s life this year. And little did I know that when I prayed for a mentor who would share what a full life of faithfulness looks like, I would quite literally get to see her life until the day she met Jesus face-to-face.

Meg was a servant. A prayer warrior. A fierce and loyal friend. An encourager, wise counselor, and a true gift to be loved by.

The alignment of Meg’s passing and having to write my own eulogy was an odd coincidence, although probably not merely a coincidence. Much of my reflection of my future was also spent looking to Meg’s life. She knew herself and the way God gifted her. And her passion was to help others know the same! It was an honor and privilege to know Meg.

I’ll probably say this every month, but this month I’ve been reminded just how much I love our class. AG, Ashley, Bailey, Bryan, Elijah, Emma, Evy, Jenna, Joe, Josh, Lola, Ryan, Skip, & Tessa - thank you for being so fun and silly and my favorite part of Raleigh! #blessed.

This blog post was jumbled and chaotic, but that’s kind of what October felt like for me. And yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

<3 Celeste

Second Child, Restless Child

Hey everyone,

I want to start off this blog post with some short highlights of the month of October before I get into length about what is on my mind and what the Holy Spirit is prompting me to write about…

It was my birthday on the 11th, as well as my future sister-in-law’s, Madelynn! Gracie, my fiancée, and I met up with her family where we got to eat FIRE steak. The day before, the fellows brought me to get sushi and then we went and watched the Pharrell Williams Lego Movie, which was honestly one of the best movies in the past couple years. There was sweet, intimate time spent with the fellows in long conversations about questions we’ll never answer. Gracie and I saw Brandon Lake for our third time and saw some great friends In Richmond (Abigail and Coleman). I went up to JMU for homecoming to see the Milkmen. The fellows went to the fair where we spent way too much money just to lose on the games (except Joe). It was a full month with every range of emotion.

There’s so much more I could say, but here’s what I’ve been fixated on: For those of you that don’t know, music is my escape from life’s noise. Most of the time, you'll find me listening to music and searching for new, unique sounds. Okay so, there is this band named The Oh Hellos, who have been one of, if not my, favorite band for awhile. They are able to transform real-life experiences into a profoundly fantastical world. They bring me into this safe place where I am forced to reminisce on experiences and people.

Particularly, their album “Through the Deep, Dark Valley” (TDDV) is what I want to tell you all about. This album is based off of the parable of the lost son in Luke 15 and his journey home. TDDV is a journey through the process of why we continue to run from God. In the song Like the Dawn, they encapsulate what it would be like for Adam to finally see his other needed part, Eve. She is called “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” in Genesis 2 and the lyrics repeat this saying, “Bones of my bones, and flesh of my flesh, at last.” And later we see the introduction of sin as Adam, in this song realizes that, “you (Eve) will surely be the death of me.”

Relating this to where I am in life, with getting married in August, it’s imperative to understand what the foundation of marriage should be. I’m thankful to know that my marriage is not my provider—Jesus is. He is the one who made mine and Gracie’s bones and flesh.

There is this four song section of the album which starts the story of the prodigal son and in this album, he’s named Eustace Scrubb, after the character in The Chronicles of Narnia. In the second of these four songs, Second Child, Restless Child, this young man says “And Heaven knows how hard I tried, but that devil whispered lies I’d believe,” relating back to Adam and Eve, that his (our) pursuit of sin started with them. His narrative is set in the past and later says that “You’ve gotta go on further than you’ve ever gone.” And yes, I have gone far from God and still now, continue to recognize how much I need Jesus.

The third song, Wishing Well, says the son is prone to wander endlessly echoing the hymn “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing,” which they reprise on the last song of the album. It’s beautiful, truly. For those who are unfamiliar, the prodigal son takes his fathers inheritance allocated to him and leaves home to go enjoy the riches of the world, which doesn’t last long. The lyrics show his sorrow:

“Cause, oh, I stole from my father
All I thought I could sell
Tossed his copper, and I watched as it fell
But there wasn’t any water in the wishing well”

This water he was searching for would soon be found, the living water in his Father.

In Memoriam, the last song in this Prodigal Son section, expresses in a wondrous way that if the son comes home, the father will be there. The son knows this, but he can’t accept his father’s love:

“But I'm sure I'll find you waiting there for me
And by the time I blink, I'll see your wild arms swinging
Just to meet me in the middle of the road…

Heaven knows I’m prone to leave the only God I should have loved
And yet you’re far too beautiful to leave me.”

This is where the son admits that it’s not his father who he has left and stolen from, but God. And maybe most of you reading this know this story, but this album explodes with emotion and careful articulation of our need for God and his loving embrace. There’s nothing we can do to escape it, but we need to come home first.

I think this album lives in my soul. There is nothing better in this world than a broken human coming home to the feet of Jesus. I’m going to leave the link to this album below, its 40 minutes, listen if you like. It makes me cry tears of joy and thankfulness. This redemption story is meant for all of us and this album helps me admire it. Listening to TDDV could take a whole day if you let it.

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/65VoSsmtmE2b7VwEvni4D8?si=LIzETe42TvKRQMDNuA-oGw

Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/through-the-deep-dark-valley-ten-year-anniversary-remaster/1646705522

Thanks for reading everyone, I know it was long.
I love you all,

Ryan McKean

Month 2 done! Wow!!

Hi again blog!! 

October is already finished which is CRAZY. Two months of fellows done. There's been so much joy and fun in this month, but as a whole I would say it was a month of learning to settle into routines. You know in the church calendar when there's the whole section in the middle that’s called ordinary time (or normal time idk I'm not really the best church calendar expert- maybe go ask Nick or Elijah, but it's something like that) where there's not really anything crazy going on but the regular rhythms of life and it's not flashy in the way other seasons are but so holy and good. That’s what this has felt like. The initial adrenaline of newness has begun to fade, my daily rhythms are emerging and it's just so holy and good. 

I think a big lesson I've been learning in this season is to let myself lean into what I need day to day. Fellows is so full and joyful and so in the small moments of filling my free time it's really highlighted my struggle to just let myself enjoy small moments and be okay with the weight of not experiencing it all. Shocking news I know, but I actually can't do everything fully all the time. But I'm grateful for the ways the Lord reminds me of my finitude and the ways he reminds me I actually wasn’t meant to experience it all. Rather he has given me freedom to lean into things that I care about, and he cares about the things I care about !! That’s so cool. I'm rambling, but really this is just a thank you to my mentor Gretchen and my mom for always reminding me I have permission to lean into what is good for me in small moments.  

Little things that have brought me joy this month: karaoke with my small group, eating pickles at the fair, carving pumpkins with Mark and Mona, bible recap texts with Cora Carr, watching Little Women at girls night, going for walks among the fall leaves, calling my dad, eating lunch in the fellows lounge, watching Anna lead worship, singing the doxology  

This months stats: 

CAPTRUST cold brews- 15 

Prizes Joe won at the fair- 4 

Cries- 9 

Fall walks- 5 

That’s all I've got for now !! Surely his goodness and mercy will follow me!! 

All my love! 

Lola 

October Fun Fellows Flicks

HEYYY BLOG!

This month has been FUN! I have enjoyed getting to know each person deeper the past few weeks. Let me be first to say that it is weird and uncomfortable to let down walls with such a large group of people, but I have been welcomed well and appreciate all the ways that people have let me into their lives! While diving deep, we have taken some silly pics that capture the vibe of the Fellows! The shared album currently has 726 pictures and 97 videos!

<3, AG

To KNOW and LOVE Evy, you must KNOW how much she does not LOVE fish!

One of the things that Evy has shared with the Fellows is how much she hates fish of any kind. I am so proud of her for facing her fears by living at a house with koi fish, seeing pictures of Jenna bow fishing, and experiencing all the goldfish at the fair!! Go get a chocolate chip waffle as a treat cause you deserve it after all that!!!

HOWDY COWGIRL JENNA 🤠

Let me say that I am fully impressed by her pure talent. She rode a mechanical bull to the speed of 5 out of 8! Bull riding on its own is hard, but while “IT’S CORN! A BIG LUMP WITH KNOBS!” blared on speakers truly is out of this world. I am so glad I got to experience this with you, Jenna!

My Second month! crazy stuff

Hello Everyone! I am so excited to share what has been happening here in Raleigh.

First I wanted to take a second to thank everyone who donated and supported me financially for me to be here to experience the Lord like I have. I am excited to announce that the day before this program started I was officially fully funded. This was the biggest prayer answered and I am blown away by the genreosity and kindness of those around me. I never thought I would have the opportunity to be blessed the way I have been. So once again thank you for trusting the Lord and trusting me to follow his path.

Lets get into it!

This month has been amazing, and I have been having so much fun! We have really gotten into our classes for the fall now and it’s been so much fun! The first class we started was Just Leadership. We are learning about how to be good advocates and voices for God’s unheard people. We took a pilgrimage through downtown Raleigh one Friday morning and we were told of the citi’s origins, how things were covered up, and how to be a good neighbor. Another class we are taking is Family Systems. This class is about how families work and dives deep into how we were brought up, still caring family trauma, etc. So, as a psych major I am just loving it. We are also taking Bible classes, and this fall is the Old Testament, and I am learning so much about just the history and how Jesus was so present in the Old Testament, I truly had no clue. It is such an amazing insight with our teachers Ryan and Emily Walker, they are so wise and passionate about the word, it’s just beautiful.

I am so excited for what is to come. In November we are going to DC for the national conference for The Fellows Initiative and we are also going to Nicaragua!

Recommendations!

• NeighborHealth everyone should go there for their healthcare needs. (I work here)

• drinking coffee (even decaf) i just love coffee

• fishing (me and some fellows went fishing in a pond, best friday afternoon ever)

• playing outside!! any and everything play related, but more specially volleyball

• Song recs:

  • I’m still fine by The Red Clay Strays (live at the ryman)

  • Sleeping Alone by Flatland calvary

  • I’ll never let you go by Zach Webb

  • Open arms by gavn!

  • Creep by radiohead (glee version)

  • Waving through a window (dear evan hansen)

  • Seventeen (heathers)

  • Where did I go wrong by Crowe Boys

Talk to you guys next month - Jenna!!

My Second Blog Post

I went to Texas this past weekend (“this past weekend” meaning October 25th-27th). My good friend Barrett Conner is a very talented musician, and he had the opportunity to play in Dallas, Houston, and Austin. Also in Texas this weekend were some more of my good friends: Tristan, Luke, Owen, Tommy, and Drew. They are some of my closest friends from college, and I haven’t seen them since the summer. I was picked up from Dallas Fort Worth International by Luke, Tristan, and their friend Ben. I had met Ben before, and it was great to see him that night. We met the others at Whataburger. I don’t like Whataburger, but I did that night. We said our goodbyes to Ben (Ben it was good to see ya man), spent the night in Frisco, and then drove to Houston the next day.

It was a four hour drive to Houston, accompanied by Barrett and Tommy. I enjoyed catching up with them and talking about life. I’ve been told that Houston is the armpit of Texas. I kinda like Houston so I’ll call it my armpit of Texas. We also had a running joke to tell Luke that Houston is better than Dallas (he now lives in Dallas and is doing the Fellows program there). We all met up at the venue before Tristan, Owen, and I took our bags to the house we were staying at that night. The house belonged to Tristan’s friend. I didn’t believe in four story houses until that day. We unloaded our luggage and met them back at the venue, driving the opposite direction of a one way street only one time in the process.

Barrett Conner is a very talented musician. I don’t know much, but I know that well enough to say it two times in three paragraphs. I’ve seen Barrett perform many times, yet each time it feels like my first. I won’t talk about his performing because I believe that one day you’ll make your way to a Barrett concert (I believe in that more than four story houses). What I will talk about is the meaning behind this concert. To watch one of my best friends do what I—and many others—believe he is called to do is such a gift. When I say that he is talented, what I really mean to say is that he is special, and I hope that everyone has an opportunity to witness that someday.

We left Houston Sunday morning and drove two hours to Austin. This time I was with Tristan and Luke. Those two guys are my brothers (not by blood but there’s no better word I could use). Luke’s the reason I was in Texas that weekend, and I’m glad I got to thank him for that. Tristan is doing the Fellows program in Colorado Springs, and he and I had a great conversation about the past two months. The first thing we did in Austin was hit up Barton Springs, which is a natural pool just outside downtown Austin. Afterwards we grabbed some food, and then I was dropped off at Austin-Bergstrom International to fly back to Raleigh. I was picked up in Raleigh by my friends Ryan and Bryan (if you don’t know them you’re missing out). It’s a blessing to not have to worry about transportation after you get off of a plane. Thank you Ryan and Bryan.

I want to tell you about this song called “The Rabbit, the Bat, and the Reindeer” by Dr. Dog. I’ve been listening to it for a while now, but only recently have I figured out what it means (at least what it means to me). These are the lyrics to the end of the song:

“I’m gettin it back with that terrible feelin

My vision is cracked but it looks like it’s healin

I’m gettin it back like it’s four in the mornin

When the sun only shines cause it’s been given a warnin

I’m gettin it back with the rest of the leap year

I’m takin the rabbit, the bat, and the reindeer

I’m gettin it out, whatever I gotta keep in

I’m tellin the truths that I don’t when we pretend

Should we pretend?”

I’m pretty sure “the rabbit, the bat, and the reindeer” refers to Easter, Halloween, and Christmas. I can do without the bat, but that’s not the point. I think I got a lot back this weekend. I got a lot back eating Whataburger with my friends in Texas. I got a lot back listening to Drew talk about grad school in Texas. I got a lot back laughing with Owen. It’s in his genes to make people laugh. I got a lot back making the blinds go up and down by the push of a button in that four story house. Tristan and I really got a kick out of that. I got a lot back watching Tommy do wicked flips off of the diving board at Barton springs. I got a lot back watching Luke do an impersonation of a man formally known as “southern guy”. Next time you see me, ask me about southern guy. I got a lot back watching Barrett do the thing he loves and was made for, and I got a lot back when Ryan and Bryan lovingly picked me up from the airport to ask me about my weekend. I don’t know what “it” is that I got, and I don’t fully know what I did to lose it in the first place, but I do know that I got some of it back this weekend. I have no one to thank for that other than my aforementioned friends.

I’d be pretty naive to think that this song only has one meaning, and that the meaning of it is to illustrate my thoughts and feelings about this past weekend. Turns out I’m pretty naive, so if you told me that I’d probably believe it.

Not as much as four story houses though.

Love, Bailey

RALLOWS MONTH 2: PP

Don’t worry everyone, I’m here to talk PRAYER PARTNERS… not pp.

Prayer Partners (AKA PP), has been a simple yet fulfilling joy of Raleigh Fellows. Each week we are randomly paired with another fellow to plan intentional time to just play and pray. Let me take you along all my PP times I have had the pleasure of having in these past two months.

AG: Our first round of prayer partners! I was MORE than excited when AG suggested that we hit up Five Guys for prayer partner time. Getting to hang out one-on-one with someone was everything I could have ever wanted after a week with 14 new strangers. We talked about the 6th-grade girls we were about to meet in the next hour (co-leaders!!!) and also a good bit about our families. AG is so chill to be with. She listens well and has great things to say (and she’s obviously so lit because she loves Five Guys and shared her fries with me).

ASHLEY: No way we get to have prayer partner time with the one and only Ashbut Crutchfield! Mom Barbie scooped me up after class and drove us to Deja Vu for some coffee pp time (mid pouring down rain). Talking to Ashley is always fun, as many of you know. Ashley has a gift for asking the perfect questions and showing full interest in whatever answer. After we Deja Vued it up, we stopped by Swaggy Boutique (Justin Bieber would love this) and giggled and giggled at all the funny dish towels and socks. Ashley is so epic.

RYAN: Yeah Ryan is so cool. We decided to go for a walk before roundtable around the Crutchfield hood. We discussed what our hardest part of fellows has been and what the easiest/best part has been so far. Once again, so nice to have a one-on-one conversation and get to the real of things. Ryan is always really good at that. He is direct and real, which is highly appreciated by our fellows class. Praying with Ryan was lit but also funny. It’s not often you walk around praying for one another with your eyes wide open. Or maybe you do, uh but this was pretty new to me.

JOSH: Josh! The ultimate goose whisperer. We took a peaceful walk around Shelley Lake… which happens to be packed with GEESE. I love Josh’s love for all things geese, ducks, hunting, and his buddies of course. His excitement and passion for the things he loves is truly inspiring. My favorite part of our prayer partner time was when we stood on a bridge looking over the lake and watched the ducks swim around. I didn’t know places like this existed in Raleigh and I was glad I got to experience it with Josh. Three cheers for Josh and learning about duck calls! And another wide-eyed prayer walk.

EMMA: The Beav! Our Michigan girl. For this particular prayer partner time I wanted to plan out all North Carolina activities for our cherished Michigan girl. Emma was a great sport for having just flown back from a weekend in Michigan and had no idea of what my plan was. After class one morning we took a bit of a drive to Umstead Park (for the great Carolina pines) listening to some of the classic NC songs. After our wonderful walk and conversation in the woods, I drove Emma to none other than WAFFLE HOUSE! Time with Emma is a time full of laughter, joy, deep wisdom, and comfort… aaand chocolate chip waffles.

BAILEY: 3 WORDS… HUNGER GAMES SIMULATION. After work one day we hit up the nearest gas station to St.Davids for some Red Bulls (it so happens that fellows and working with middle schoolers require a good bit of caffeine). Then we went to REI for funsies (Boonies love REI I hear). AND THEN, Bailey set up our very own online Hunger Games simulation with names of random people (it’s not weird guys, it’s cool and normal). This was so lit, we laughed so hard we cried. Bailey is straight-up fun and the most epic co-worker you could ever imagine.

Praying and having intentional time with new people, especially people you have known for only a month or two, is definitely a learning experience. I have greatly enjoyed learning more about how to pray and care for one another. Praise the Lord for PP time and many more to come. Also HUGE shoutout to Pauline for leading us in one of my favorite parts/classes of fellows so far: Prayer with Pauline. Pauline is awesome and so are the things she teaches us about prayer and time spent with and listening to God.

This month I recommend… PP time, KNITTING!!!! (shoutout Emily Walker for teaching me how to knit), Hunger Games, only going to the state fair once, carving pumpkins with Mark and Mona, blasting Glee songs in the car with Jenna, and Tech Decks.

Peace & love & until next month,

Evy :)

Month Two Electric Boogaloo

Drew and I crushing the rest of the 6th grade boys in Mario Kart for small group breakouts

My first non-sick blog post!!!

Has it really only been 2 months? It honestly feels a lot longer. Between getting to know so many new people, deepening friendships with the other fellows, settling into my job, and the many deep discussions we have on an almost daily basis, it really feels like I’ve been here longer

Here are some highlights from the past month:

1: A renewed intimacy with God in prayer and study.

Now that I’ve started to adjust to my new environment and have been able to form new habits, my devotional life is coming back to life. Spending time alone with the Lord is often something that waxes and wanes throughout seasons of my life. Senior year and my summer leading up to fellows were filled with a lot of stress and anxiety about where I was going in my career and leaving behind old friendships. Sadly I found that my time with God was often unfruitful and my thoughts were constantly clouded over. This month has been the opposite. I feel like God is showing me new things in his word each day, and that prayer has become a renewed place of strength and delight in the love of God

2: The death of small talk

Don’t get me wrong, small talk isn’t all bad. But MAN was month 1 unbearable in this regard. The amount of newness was really overwhelming and I found myself resorting to the same dry conversation starters over and over again. I was constantly anxious that people wouldn’t really enjoy who I was so I kept more quiet than I normally would be. In month two I think I’ve been opening up a lot more, and have started feeling like myself again.

3: simple delights of everyday fellows life

Cooking fills me with so much life. It’s a creative exercise that clears my head, gives me something to be proud of, and lets me physically feel better than eating takeout all the time. Now that I’m developing more of a schedule and rhythm of life I’ve been able to cook more and it’s been wonderful. Dog sitting for the Mill’s was also a simple delight I got to enjoy this month. Getting to hangout with Maggie and Winston was a ton of fun and the added responsibility made me feel more fulfilled in the mornings before I left for whatever I was doing that day


Continued struggles and prayer requests

That hardest part of fellows is definitely energy management. For those who don’t know I have a condition know as EDS which causes me a decent amount of chronic pain and fatigue. This coupled with the busy nature of the fellows program often means that I’m fully burnt out by the end of each day. I don’t sleep as well as I should, I’m too reliant on caffeine, and I need to be more disciplined with my screen time. Prayers for wisdom in this area of my life would be greatly appreciated

For God to increase what he has already started. This month has show the first fruits of a lot things I believe that Lord wants to work in me over the course of these 9 months. And to that I say “More Lord!”. More intimacy with God! More intentional conversations/relationships! More gratitude in daily life! More healthy habits and responsible living! More discernment over my calling! Everything God is already doing, please pray that he does it in even greater measure

To all my Friends, Family, Donors, and prayer warriors interceding on my behalf, thank you for everything

Until next time

-Elijah McGrath

My first month of Fellows

Hey guys, this is Josh. 

I moved down to Raleigh a month ago to be a fellow, and it’s been awesome! I’ve met a million awesome people and 13 really awesome fellows. I met a bunch of really cool and also crazy 7th and 8th graders that I get to lead in the youth ministry. I met my host family, Bill and Joanna Refvem, and they are amazing! I really appreciate their humble hospitality.

One of my favorite things we did this month was Fall Camp. We went to New Life camp for a weekend with the youth ministry. It was super fun, and I got to spend quality time with the kids. I got to go fishing with the boys down at the pond, which is one of my favorite things. We had really good conversations during small groups, and I got to know the guys a lot better. I 10/10 recommend Fall camp!

I am working for Redeeming Development Group (RDG) with a bunch of men who go to Apostles including our very own Fellows First Lady, Sam Crutchfield. After a stressful summer working for the corporate machine back in Virginia, it has been a breath of fresh air to work with such awesome people who love each other well and look to serve the community. RDG has some really cool stuff in the works and I’m excited to get to help out!

Until next time,

Josh Gressett

My First Blog Post

Hello to everyone who is reading this. My name is Bailey and I’m a Raleigh Fellow. This is my first blog post. Admittedly, I do not know what to write about for this blog post. As I’m typing, I’m thankful for the red squiggly line that let’s me know I’m a bed speller. I’m also thankful to have learned how to spell “admittedly”.

It’s pretty difficult for me to capture everything that I’ve experienced over the past three weeks in one blog post. There’s been a lot of love, a lot of fun, a lot of meeting people, a lot of being tired from meeting people (please don’t take it personally people that I’ve met, you’re all so lovely and I’ve loved meeting you all), and a lot of “new”. New city, new job, new friends (shoutout my new friends), new house (shoutout Jason and Mary Young), and even a new dog (shoutout Boots Young). I think change is good. It’s taken me a long time to come around to that.

Undoubtedly one of my favorite things about Raleigh Fellows so far is meeting the people that I will spend ~a lot~ of time with over the next eight months. I’m excited to learn more about my other friends doing the Fellows program here in Raleigh. I was going to refer to them as “the other Fellows” but that didn’t feel right. It’s abundantly clear to me the gift that it is to have strong community directly after graduating and moving away from my college town. Josh, Jenna, Joe, Skip, Emma, Evy, Lola, Ryan, Celeste, Elijah, Tessa, Bryan, AG, and of course, Ashley… thanks for being here.

One of my biggest goals since being in Raleigh has been to find a good place to get a meal. I know that there are so many great places to eat, but I’m looking for one with a specific kind of personality. Somewhere that isn’t trying to do too much. Somewhere that encourages people to come as they are. I have this dream of owning a sandwich place in New York City, located on a street corner. It would have breakfast sandwiches and lunch sandwiches. Ideally I would hire someone with a thick northern accent, who knew how to make sandwiches really well. He would go by “Marty”. There would also be a high school student who would stop by my sandwich shop everyday, lay down a five dollar bill, take his sandwich that was carefully constructed minutes before opening, and go to school. That dream of mine is never gonna come true because I don’t think that I’ll ever live in New York City, but my more realistic dream of finding that kind of eating establishment in Raleigh is very much still alive.

I recently went to Tookie’s with a small group of my friends. When I walked in, I felt like I had gone there my whole life, even though it was my first time eating there. The owner, Deborah (married to Tookie himself), treated us as if she’d known us for years and knew we were coming. They served their sweet tea in a plastic pitcher that sat beside the drink machine. Knowing what you now know, I don’t have to tell you it was good sweet tea for you to know that it was good sweet tea. Tookie’s is located beside a gas station convenient store. I want to go there everyday. That said, if you know any other restaurants that are adjacent to Tookie’s, let me know please.

My song recommendation for this post is “Solid Ground” by Barrett. I’m excited for the next eight months in Raleigh.

Love, Bailey

September Fun Fellows Flicks

What’s up BLOG!!!

I love pictures and taking pictures of my friends. Thankfully, I just made 14 new friends with cute faces to take pictures of! Currently, on our shared picture album, there are 453 pictures and 58 videos. As much as I would love to add you to this album so you could see all the antics the Fellows get up to, sadly, I cannot. BUT, I can share 2 from this month and give some context along the way! Hope you enjoy these snapshots into the life of Raleigh Fellows!

<3, AG

Hello Mr. McKnight aka Boat Driver

During the Orientation retreat, Bailey decided that he would fearlessly drive the boat, but out of nowhere, a wake boat sped by, and the waves that it created were almost too much for our driver with 3 minutes of experience. I am proud to say that he handled it to the best of his abilities, and Ashley took back over moments later.

NC STATE STUDENT IN HIS NATURAL HABITAT ON HILLSBOROUGH STREET!!! Jk, it’s just Bryan our favorite Clemson Tiger (check out the t-shirt) (no he does not surf)

A fun weekend outing that some of the Fellows went to was a backyard concert! S/O The Layaways!! This brought all of us back to our college years, and Bryan really stepped into the role of NCSU freshman student.

Meet Bryan Polk. A freshman living in Alexander Hall. He is from Canada and is majoring in mechanical engineering. Welcome to State Bryan!

First month going on forever (in a good way) -jenna :)

WOW,

I simply can not believe I have only been in Raleigh for a month.

On a serious note, I have been challenged already in ways I did not know would even be a possibility. These fellows have sought to know me and that is so new. It is hard not to get in my own way of growing but the Lord is calling me out of that! I am excited to be pushed to new limits, and do a little pushing myself to the other fellows. Thank you Jesus for placing me here so carefully and thoughtfully. I was blessed with an amazing host family the Miedemas! They are truly the embodiment of peace and joy in the lord and living here has evaded my life with it! Ashley Crutchfield you are a blessing! She loves hard and shows grace and mercy so evidently. Anna Farmer, my mentor has quickly become a whisper in the chaos! Fellows I could already say a million tings about each of you but I will refrain. I already love you all so much! I can’t wait to know you all deeply and fully!

Here are my wonderful first impressions of Raleigh so far:

1. Everywhere is 15 minutes away.

2. The streets are so TINY (and bumpy).

3. Houses are SO pretty!

4. It is way hotter here than Western NC.

5. Raleigh Style is real.

6. Apostles so sweet and spirit filled.

7. There are so many places to go on walks.

8. Every restaurant is here? quite literally all of them.

Recoomendation:

Luke 7:36-50 Then listen to Luke 7 “See you Right” by MBL Worship

Joe's blog

Hello world, its Joe

This past month has been the beginning of a new season of life and it has been a blast becoming a Raleigh fellow. I have experienced a wide range of emotions over the recent weeks. From saying goodbye to my former job and saying hello to all things fellows.

Here are some updates of my life:

-I have 13 new friends! They are great and I look forward to sharing more about them. Also, we have a great program director, Ashley, she has been so fun and so kind.

-I work at Edward Jones with Andy Cook. Andy also attends Apostles and has been kind to have a fellow join his branch. Over the past few years all the jobs I’ve done have been ministry related so this has been a brand new experience! So far I have really enjoyed Edward Jones and am looking forward to all that I learn through this job.

-I live with the Bokowy family. It has been a great time living with them and getting to know them. Also, they love sports like me so its been fun watching sports together.

The rest of my schedule is the same as all my fellows. I will share in more detail in future blogs. I am running short on time because I am about to volunteer at neighbor to neighbor and hang with my boy Ja’khari. But I hope whoever is reading this is having a good day!

A whole new world

Hey everyone! I’m Elijah and I’m so excited to be a fellow this year. Its hard to believe its already been a month. Each day has held something totally new and its been both exhilarating and overwhelming. I feel like the metaphorical carpet that was my old life has been ripped out from under me, and now I get the chance to build something new with God.

Here’s a short list of a few “news” I’ve been adjusting too

1: New church (Apostles!!)

2: New denomination (Anglicans are way cooler than expected)

3: New job (Pastoral intern! Definitely one of the highlights of the experience so far)

4: new host family (The lovely Wilsons)

5: 13 new amazing friends ( Seriously guys they’re so cool)

6: New city (Why is everyone so friendly in the south??)

7: and so much more

Truthfully its harder for me to think of things that aren’t new! Because of this I have found myself in an awkward place in my faith. On one hand I’m blessed beyond measure and expectant for the future. On the other, I’m finding it difficult to feel at home and settle in to the program. Currently I a writing this blog the night before it is due, with the scraps of energy I’ve mustered together despite being very sick for this past week, so forgive me if this posts carries a bit of a pessimistic tone. But I really am happy here. My job is everything I could’ve hoped for, as I basically get paid to be a bible nerd and help out behind the scenes on various church tasks. I’ve greatly enjoyed all of the late night cookout runs, guys nights at the boulton’s, intimate times of sharing testimonies, and retreats. Being the 6th grade guys small group leader alongside Bailey has been great as well. I expect that future blogs might have more substance, but for now I need to take some cough medicine and go back to sleep. To everyone who has made it possible for me to do this program, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. To everyone in the program who have made it their mission to disciple and send recent college graduates like me thank you too!

With a grateful and sincere heart,

Elijah McGrath