Fall Fellows😍

Yikes! Am I in trouble? Maybe I shouldn’t point out that my blog post is a couple of days late, but here we are. There is so much grace, and Will Brown hasn’t posted his yet. Okay let’s move on.

October was a mix of silly and exciting moments with a lot of peace and settling in. Raleigh Fellows has taught me how to hold this place that I love close to my heart while also holding it up to Him. The Lord gives good gifts and this month is evidence of that.

The month started off with a bang — some might even say it was our most bonding Fellows event at that point. It was a spontaneous Thursday night porch fire hang at Simas’ house (RF ‘24 and my boyfriend) and to those who know Simas, he rarely turns down the opportunity to host a hangout. He was actually jumping at the opportunity to host the Fellows because he really wanted to get to know each of them more (ugh he’s perfect). We sat around the fire, made s’mores and roasted cold pizza on a stick. We (almost) convinced Peyton that there was a zipline in the backyard. We made memes. We traded chairs. There’s honestly no explaining what made this night so special to all of us, other than us having such a silly time that we ended up staying until midnight. 

The next day, a group of Fellows and Fellows alum gals gathered at Docksology for one last lake weekend in the sun. It was actually magical to go swimming in early October. Female friendships haven’t always come easily to me, but that weekend felt like healing and the Lord pushing me more and more towards vulnerability there. It was peak girlhood and sweet to deepen friendships with Fellows and the other ladies who were there for the weekend. 

Fast forward a couple of weeks, I got to go to a YL banquet for the area I led in college. In a season of having to say no to many things for Fellows, this felt like such a gift. I got to reconnect with my old teammates, area director, high schoolers, and committee members — all people who were so hard to say goodbye to when I finished leading.  While I know God is doing incredible work in and through them, it was such a blessing to see it firsthand and share in that joy with them.

Wow those are only three things that happened this much, but there’s so much more to tell! I’m really into bullet pointing so let’s hear it for the rest of October’s activities:

• Spending time with college friends and still getting to be involved in their lives

• A night out on Glenwood

• Two fair days with Simas and Fellows

• Cooking a feast with Will for Roundtable

• A Raleigh weekend full of Standard smash burgers, coffee and thrifting 

• Going home and seeing my mom, step-dad and the kitties

• Dressing up as Greg Heffley at Skip/Simas/Shane & roomies Halloween Party

• Ashley’s birthday EXTRAVAGANZA (Nov 1st but who’s counting)

Honorable unmentions (probably shouldn't be mentioned but I am):

• I burnt my leg on the Solo Stove

• That’s actually it 

This November I am continuing to learn to want more of what He wants for me than what I want for myself. It’s such a gift to be part of this program and to experience so many things about this place that make it so special to me. I remind myself that whatever is special to me is also deeply important to God. Isn’t that sweet?

Until next time, 

Carsyn

Bye October, Hello November

Hey everybody! 

October roundup let’s go! 

I can confidently say that Raleigh is starting to feel like home as October comes to an end! This month was a busy one but in the best way. It started off with a girls’ weekend at the lake where we enjoyed the last moments of summer while the water was still warm. Taylor Swift’s album came out, and I am refusing to listen to the hate. I think it’s a masterpiece.

I went to the NC State Fair for the first time, and it defied all of my expectations. I could not believe all of the food options! I am still a little bummed that the Peachey’s Doughnuts line was too long, but I have big plans to catch them next year.

I got to stop by Elon and see some of my best friends from college over Alumni Weekend. Margaux (bff from RVA) and I went to her Nonna’s and had the time of our lives in Pinehurst celebrating Nonna’s 84th. The girls had a great weekend in Raleigh while the boys were away at Men’s Retreat. We went to Rebus, Boulted Bread, thrift stores, and hung out at the Miedema’s.

I am loving my job and the creativity it has allowed me to explore. Sydnie has done an amazing job of ensuring that I am experiencing all the areas and facets within creative marketing. My host family is the best, and I absolutely love living with them! My Monday mornings with Marsha are my favorite, and we can always be found at Jubala.

Living in Raleigh has also allowed me to be close to my camp friends. We watch DWTS together on Tuesdays (#TeamRobert), and it has been so fulfilling to have them nearby. Last night was Halloween, and I was Michael Jackson.

Live, love, Raleigh Fellows <3

Until next time,

Morgan

Fall Fellows Update

Our first day of Fellows was September 2nd, but it has already felt like I have been in Raleigh for much longer than I have. I was super nervous leading up to Fellows. I trusted that the Lord led me to Raleigh for a reason, but I still felt apprehensive and did not know what to expect. It was a really odd thing to meet 10 strangers and immediately go on a welcome retreat to a lake house for a week. But, it really was our time at the lake that ignited a great friendship between myself and my fellow Fellows. 

We got back from a fun orientation retreat and kicked off our internships! I am working at Raleigh Rescue Mission as the Volunteer Engagement Intern. Raleigh Rescue Mission is a non-profit temporary living facility for situationally homeless people. They go through what is called the New Life Plan, where they do job training, trauma care, and get to live full-time in order to get back on their feet. The goal is to get them a job and help them save money so they can get housing outside of the Mission. I help with the volunteers, donors, and events side of things, but I am still able to meet clients and interact with them during my work days. I feel so lucky to have this job, as I wanted to be in a care setting type job in my Fellows year, and I also love who I work with. The Mission has already shaped me in so many ways, and I am excited to see how the rest of the year goes. 

Not only do I love my job, but I am so glad that I have such a great class of Fellows. There are seven girls and four guys, and we get along so well. I feared the worst, that none of us would get along, but thankfully we laugh together and have lots of fun. Besides our required Fellows things, we have been to breweries, thrift shops, coffee shops, a concert, and the North Carolina State Fair. It has just been sweet. Ashley, our Fellows director, is also so amazing. She is wise, fun, extremely hospitable, and loves the Fellows so much. 

Classes have also been wonderful. We are taking “Old Testament” and “Why Religion Went Obsolete” on Fridays and then “Just Leadership” and “Family Systems" on Mondays. Why Religion Went Obsolete is based on a book of the same name and taught by the lead Pastor of Apostles, Nick. Just Leadership is taught by a man named David Spickard, who runs a non-profit in Raleigh called 11 Ten Leadership that helps to facilitate justice-oriented leadership in the workplace. Family Systems is taught by a therapist and is about the psychology of family systems. We also have Spiritual Formation classes once a month. I really love class and have been having a great time reading and taking in all of the information.  

Apostles itself is a great church. On the Anglican spectrum, it lies on the reformed Anglican side, as opposed to the Anglo-Catholic side, and feels kind of like my college Evangelical Free Church (City Church), but Anglican. They love the Fellows, and so many past Fellows still live in Raleigh and attend Apostles, which makes the community sweeter. I serve as a youth group leader for the 6th-grade girls and co-lead that every Sunday night. 

My host family is amazing as well. I live with Hayes, Emily, and Hazel (1.5 yrs old) Thielman. Emily is actually the older sister of one of my good friends, Isabel, and was also a Gator! Her husband. It has been so fun living with them and getting to be part of their family for this short amount of time. They are so kind to let me live in their home for a year and care for me so well. 

Overall, I am having a great time so far and am extremely grateful for that. It still kind of feels like I am a visitor in Raleigh, and I do sometimes find myself missing Florida. But I am confident in the Lord's sovereignty and trust that I am here for a reason. I am in the process of applying to various Master's in Mental Health Counseling programs to begin in the fall of 2026. Who knows where I’ll end up next year! But for now, I am trying to be where my feet are, and I am glad that is in the Raleigh Fellows program. 

With love, 

Jackie

I'm getting rooted, I don't fear the wind!!

Excited to be back with you talking about all of the things that are going on over here in Raleigh!

Now you might be wondering what my title is all about, don’t worry I won't keep you guessing. This past month I went back to JMU for homecoming weekend and got to spend 48 hours with some of my most favorite people who know me best. The weekend was spent at my college house with no agenda, hours of catching up and sitting in the hammock on the porch that held so much significance for me the past couple years. I felt myself reconnecting with my spirit as I embraced close friends, sipped my favorite coffee in town, and watched strangers walk the streets that hold so many reminders of my conversations & pains & joys. During a quick visit with two of my college housemates to see one of our other friends at work, I saw a sign that stuck out to me for some reason, reading “when the roots are deep, there is no reason to fear the wind.” Now, normally I would giggle at a cheesy quote like that, dismissing it and moving on, but it struck me. My life is full of winds! I realized while being in my most comfortable place that it hadn’t always been so comfortable - I had once been blown around by the winds of newness, stumbling around trying to find someone or something to anchor me in Harrisonburg. The reason I got to relish in the sweetness and familiarity of that weekend is because I had met someone (God!) who rooted me down in friendships & identity & ministry & scattered sacred places. My life here in Raleigh is all windy & breezy & wild. I’m wrestling with who I am - what is the design of my soul, what do I lean on, what framework I view this world through, and just about a million other things. I have no idea the purpose of my life, where the Lord is asking me to serve him vocationally after this year, or what it looks like to navigate this life. I’m having to sit with how to reconcile my broken views of community and my misplaced hope in the dreams of my life. But, I’m getting rooted. The winds are so present, I feel them all around me but recently I don’t fear them! Friendships are starting to take shape and this city is beginning to feel a little bit more like mine. If I pay attention, I can recognize the little ways I’m being formed through this experience and boy do I love getting a glimpse of my father’s work in me and around me! So yes, a cheesy quote underneath a painted tree on a piece of burlap spoke to me - don’t judge me, sometimes God works in silly little ways.

So as you can probably tell I’m just loving it here. l’m thankful that this life that feels somehow brand new and worn in all at the same time is mine! There are many, many things that have been going on in the lives of us fellows but we have limited space here so you’re just going to have to shoot me a text or give me a call if you want to hear all of them!! This is just a taste of all of the good and challenging things going on. 

Things I’m absolutely loving this month!

• The fall! Loving a sweater moment, loving the crunch of leaves beneath my shoes, loving fall colors, and loving the holiday season peaking around the corner

• Finding joy in little tiny moments - life is real great right now, but busy, so the little tiny moments are holding lots of goodness for me

• My job! There probably won’t be a month that I’m not absolutely in love with my job, so get used to this one. I get to see little mini images of God running around trying to figure out how to communicate and learn and it feels like an extra special way I get to feel the Lord’s love Tuesday-Thursday

• Bible class. Friday mornings we have an Old Testament class and I kind of leave in awe every week at how much we learn 

• My sister lived in Raleigh when I moved here two months ago but just moved to D.C. a couple weeks ago. We didn’t think we would get this month and a half crossover which made it so sweet and packed full of seeing each other. I miss her! This month I felt super grateful for time in the same city and getting to live a life where my sisters are two of my best friends.

• My fellow fellows who are now my friends! I all of a sudden have lots of friends and we’re starting to see each other’s belovedness. There’s some type of magic stirring and I’m so eager to see it grow. Jim Branch describes community in his Blue Book, saying “somehow, mysteriously, abundance is created. The sum of the whole becomes much greater than the sum of the parts. It is sheer delight, for somehow, as the gifts are being given, they renew themselves, even as they are being poured out.” (forgive me for not giving you the APA citation for this, but you get the gist) I LOVE THEM

• Making my coffee every morning with my moka pot espresso maker - go ahead, add it to your cart! 

• Meeting friends of friends, this happens like every day and its soooo fun 

Lots more I could say but I’m cutting myself off now! Bye for now. 
With love, Reagan!

Some of the gals doing one of our favorite things - getting coffee and chatting!

My sister Amelia and I the night before she moved.

Some of my housemates on our college house’s porch!

happy no sausage on a stick at the fair month

A little back story before I get into this whole thing. I got to be a backpacking guide in Colorado for the past two summer for Wilderness Ranch, the Younglife Camp- seriously best job ever and could talk about this for a while but I’m sparing y’all. This past summer started off with a friend of mine reciting Psalm 23 in a prayer over her and I as we just felt so uncertain about why the Lord had brought us back again. So obviously after I found out she had Psalm 23 memorized I wanted to memorize it too. I would go on to think about it all summer and had the idea of the Psalm down just didn’t know the order, that’s so not needed information but whatever. This month the Lord has just been showing up left and right like he’s my ride from the airport just holding up a huge sign that says Psalm 23 and I just immediately know it’s for me. So, I memorized it this month. Insanely long intro but let’s chat about my month.

It’s easy to realize that the Lord is your Shepherd, He makes you lie down in green pastures, leads you beside still waters and is the restorer of your soul when you are literally in the act of doing all of that. While on my last trip this past summer, we were walking and suddenly we were in this wide-open green valley called the Ute Creek Valley. I heard a camper behind me say “scripture is right in front of my face” and I was like okkkkk Lord yes, I’m reading them Psalm 23 right now. So, I did. And these campers seriously were in awe of how they profoundly and practically could relate to scripture in a very visual way. And that’s been the topic of thought of my month. How will I, so profoundly and practically, notice that Psalm 23 is just as cool to relate to even when physically I’m not laying in a wide-open green valley with a river running through. Newsflash Hailey- He’s the restorer of your soul, just be with Him. So, while the schedule of being a fellow has been a good challenge for me, and hasn’t slowed down and won’t for a while, I have found rest in the midst of it, and these are ways I’ve found it!

Being with my mentor! I could sit and chat with Emily for a crazy amount of time. She is so kind, wise, easy to laugh with and a person I’ve noticed myself wanting to be like in a friend towards others.

Prayer partners! Prayer partners is when you get paired up with another fellow every week. I love this time I get to have one-on-one with the fellows. I made Maddie Grace come paint pottery with me for our PP week and now I think everyone should have a passion for painting pottery.

Girls’ nights and more hot tub visits. These girls are so good. I could write forever bragging about them, but I’ll save that for another time. Hot tubs, as we know from my last blog, could never let me down.

Took my off weekend to go hiking with my friend Madison! Mega needed weekend.

Rapid fire awesome things: The weather, state fair (no sausage on a stick didn’t sit well with me), Zach Top concert, thrifting, making some good coffee at home, riding the electric bull at the fair, peanut butter and banana toast, DWTS, Ashley giving me the worst wedgie of my life, roundtable and laughing with Ashley, Sam, and all the fellows and Halloween.

Songs of October (my last 5 are still heavily in the mix)

Runaway Love- Justin Bieber (speaks for itself)

Close Up- Olivia Dean (passionate about this song like never seen in myself before)

Like I Want You- Zach Top (country music is alive and well. Amen)

Johnson Song- Mt. Joy (nostalgic and crave this constantly)

The entire Lake Street Dive & Lawrence: The City Winery Sessions EP (the air to my lungs)

He restores my soul. Over and over! November, be lit to me. Ok bye.

-Hailey Cook

Psalm 23 then!

Psalm 23 now!

Big Peyton has entered the chat

Holy crap (excuse my language), it’s November! I suppose time really does fly. Before I dive into all of the amazing things I’ve been doing with Fellows, let’s just acknowledge that Fall is objectively the best time of year. Take a moment and breathe - do you feel the crisp autumn air? The leaves are beginning to die, yet in the most beautiful way. Additionally…

Sunday (all day) – Football
Monday Night – Football
Thursday Night – Football
Friday Night – High School Football
Saturday (all day) – College Football

Isn’t that just beautiful? And that’s not all - we can’t forget about the NHL, MLB, NBA, and college basketball. This, my friends, is a sliver of heaven.

Anyway, this blog is dedicated to Fellows, so let’s talk about Fellows, shall we? Most recently, Apostles organized its 3rd Annual (don’t fact-check me on that) Men’s Retreat in Wilmington, NC. If I’m being completely honest, this pushed me out of my comfort zone. As I’ve shared with some of the Fellows - and now the millions of people reading this blog - making deep and meaningful friendships with other men has been a challenge. Apparently, I’m not the only guy who faces this. In fact, it’s become such a common struggle that a bunch of dudes from a quaint Anglican church tucked away in the heart of North Hills abandoned their “normal” lives for an entire weekend to learn how to be friends (like…actual friends) with other men. It was incredible.

For the first time in what feels like forever, I engaged in challenging conversations, laughed, grabbed coffee, and made tons of incredible memories - exclusively with other Christian men. For the first time in a while, I felt like one of the guys. Geez, I could go on and on about everything we learned and every small group conversation, but for the sake of time, just know this weekend was an answered prayer.

In other news, I’m starting to (finally) get a grasp of my role at NeighborHealth. Serving as the Marketing and Communications Coordinator has been challenging, to say the least, but extraordinarily rewarding. Admittedly, I’ve discovered that sitting behind a computer screen for eight hours is excruciating, but I have a great team that helps mix things up. Simply walking around and chatting with people from different departments has been a lifesaver. My biggest takeaway, though, quite frankly has little to do with marketing or how to draft the perfect email. Rather, it’s been about how I view work through a biblical lens. I’ve listened to every podcast imaginable on how to “commit my work to the Lord” and often find myself wondering how God originally intended work to be for humanity in 2025. I’ve seen the Lord’s faithfulness in my other jobs, but I’ve never seen investors walk into an office and stop mid-conversation to pray. To put a bow on my thoughts, I’ll just say I’m witnessing the line between “secular business” and faith begin to blur. I’m learning what it looks like to walk alongside Jesus every moment of every single day.

Hopefully, you’ve gathered by now that I am thriving (simply because it’s Fall), the Men’s Retreat was a success, and I work for a pretty cool nonprofit. To wrap up our time together, I owe my mentor, Mr. Frank Shell, an honorable mention. We’ve had the opportunity to chat several times, but it wasn’t until topics like John Mayer, The Lumineers, or Chance Peña came up that our conversation really took off. For context, Frank plays guitar - and so do I. The only difference is that Frank knows what he’s doing. Thankfully, he’s my mentor. Hopefully, you’re starting to connect the dots here. If not, let me make it blatantly clear: I will be bringing my guitar to our next meeting. Point is, I’m pumped to play guitar (or at least try) during these upcoming meetings. Vibes are going to be immaculate.

I’m just now realizing that I forgot to mention how John 15 has become increasingly influential in my life. I’m talking “I wanna get this tattooed on my body” kind of influential. Sadly, our time here together is coming to an end. I’ve rambled on enough, so I’ll leave you on a cliffhanger:

How exactly has John 15 become so influential in Peyton’s life? The world may never know… but you could - if you come back next month to read my blog.

(P.S. If you visit the Lenovo Center, don’t forget to take a selfie with Big Peyton. If that doesn’t make sense to you, please reference the attached photo.)

Toodles,
–Peyton

October as a Raleigh Fellow

Hello blog! 

Lots of things have happened in October. So much to discuss. My word to describe fellows is that it is just so rich. There are so many things to learn, so many people to build relationships with, so many cool God sightings, and so many fun and silly moments. 

Let’s start with a recap of fun things! It was kind of exhausting but am so glad each of these things happened:

• Went to a college friend’s wedding at the end of September. It was so fun and sweet to see a ton of UVA friends and now I’m excited for everyone I know to get married. 

• Went to Ashley’s lake house for a girls weekend! The boys are still mad at us. I LOVED the weather and it was healing to swim in the lake in October.

• Two friends - Jaida and Anna - visited me and our friend Kendall for the weekend. I felt so loved having them here and it was so fun to introduce old friends to new friends and have everyone in the same place. It was so restful to catch up with them and spend quality time together. Shoutout Billy and Cathy for not caring about all of them crashing here! 

• The next weekend I went up to Charlottesville for UVA’s homecoming and it was so great. Seeing Charlottesville in the fall was just what I needed and I miss it so much. It was just so great to see so many friends and pack in a ton of things in 24 hours. 

• Last weekend the boys were on a men’s retreat and the girls spent a restful weekend in Raleigh together (we missed you Maddie Grace!). We went out for dinner, sat in the hot tub, went to a coffee shop, went thrifting, and cooked dinner. 

• The fellows went to the state fair together! This was my first state fair and it was so silly.

• We did a recruitment cookout event at the NC State study center!

• Halloween last night was so fun! I am not a huge halloween person but I actually had a blast and the costumes were iconic. And since I am following the rules and posting this on Nov 1, you don’t get to hear the recap of Ashley’s birthday party but that is happening tonight and it might be the best event of the year. 

Some of the things I’m learning:

• I am starting to get better at learning how to listen to God more and tune into the things that are being stirred up in my mind. This was kind of a goal at the beginning of fellows and I think I’m slowly figuring it out. I’m grateful to have a spiritual formation class with intentional time to sit in silence and prayer with God. I’m also grateful to have such a great mentor, Elaina, who has helped me figure out what time with God looks like during a busy fellows year. 

• I am reluctantly learning (kind of) how to dream. For our spiritual formation class we have been assigned to sit & dream with God about our future and write a eulogy to reflect how we want our life to look like. I am naturally really bad at dreaming and thinking about my future; it just is not something my mind does. So this is very new for me and I’m not good at it but I guess it is happening a little bit.

• I’m learning a lot about how to think about justice and how to better process injustices from our class on Just Leadership. I am really grateful for the topics we read and talk about and that we talk about hard things in a biblical setting. 

• With all the busyness and fun things I think I am learning how to better rest and be more intentional about true rest.

Things I’m loving:

• I really enjoy our weekly rhythm of having a prayer partner. Each week we are paired with one of the fellows and we get together and talk and pray together. I love an intentional, 1-on-1, hangout, so this has been super life giving to me. It’s the best way for me to get to know the fellows better and feel like they can know me too. 

• I am enjoying all of our classes! I am loving the opportunity to learn just for the sake of learning.

• This month I spent a lot of time with college friends which has been awesome! I’m so glad to have opportunities to see them in-person for various things and am grateful for really great friendships that I want to keep up post-college. 

• I’m loving to listen to the new albums from Sabrina Carpenter & Olivia Dean. Ok Bevi that is pretty basic and doesn’t seem like a huge deal. But something about me is I am really bad at listening to new music so I want to shout out Hailey for driving me to work and getting me obsessed with the music she’s loving.

• I’m loving the new season of Nobody Wants This on Netflix.

• I’m loving my friendships with my fellows buddy Tessa & my mentor Elaina.

Hard things:

• Feeling like I have the capacity for all the rich content and experiences happening. It’s so great but sometimes I get overwhelmed.

• My sister just moved to Ethiopia! (Hi Valerie miss you)

• Still dealing with head symptoms like pain & fogginess, although I am grateful to have seen a little bit of progress in the past few weeks. 

Thanks for reading my October update!

Love, Bevi Lundeen

Blog: The Sequel

Hey everyone, it’s Jacob back at it again with blog, the sequel. I sadly can’t describe my usual pour over for you today as I was out and about early before picking up catered coffee for a work event. I was up late last night so I’ve already had 4 small cups of this coffee that isn’t like what I normally prefer.  One thing I’ve found myself saying a decent bit lately is that I’ve learned to tolerate a bad cup of coffee. And honestly, it’s not that the coffee I don’t drink is bad, it’s just not what I’m used to.

That is almost exactly how I described fellows so far to my prayer partner yesterday afternoon. See, fellows or apostles aren’t bad. Not at all. But they are different. And I feel like I’m experiencing a whole new side of my hometown that I never knew existed. It’s so easy to grow accustomed to our own little worlds that we live in that we can fail to recognize other points of view. And yet, sometimes that other point of view is exactly what we need.

This past weekend I was on the men’s retreat with Apostles and the speaker talked about male friendship from the lens of John 15. It’s funny cause John 15 is the passage Ashley helped us posture this year around and hearing her perspective on it was almost exactly like every other time I’ve heard it spoken upon in Bible studies, books, or via a mentor. However, this weekend’s speaker took a passage with which I was familiar and spun it in a way I’ve never considered it before. Almost exactly like how fellows has done for my views of Raleigh or Apostles has done for my views of the church. Just because something is different from what I know doesn’t mean it’s bad. Sometimes it’s good and actually quite necessary to our lives.

One thing I’ve loved about Apostles which has been incredibly reassuring is that a number of the passages or prayers I would recite out of habit I’ve heard shared by the pastors before a sermon or during liturgy. It’s been such a sweet affirmation from the Lord that where I am right now is the right place for me.

Funny enough from this weekend in Wilmington on Men’s Retreat I figured out that one of my best friends was there too for his brother’s Ironman. In my small group we talked through the reality of having friendships of the deepest kind and when I was asked if I have any friendships like that, I immediately thought of him. Like I could not shake memories of that friendship throughout that weekend’s sessions and he was probably not even a couple miles away from me that whole time. One of the questions from our small group breakouts asked what keeps you from developing deep friendships like that. I said such a genuine connection like that can only really grow from consistent time and proximity. And no slight on the fellows, but I don’t have such a friendship with any of them like that. After all, I didn’t know any of them two months ago. But that’s not to say we can’t get to that place though. It takes showing up for one another too. And I’ve been so incredibly encouraged by how the fellows are all showing up for one another so far.

Last month I got to visit my college town for that friend’s wedding. It was such a sweet time. There was a double rainbow during the reception which felt like such a blessing over their marriage and it’s genuinely one the best things I’ve ever seen. There was actually also a double rainbow over this summer the night I figured out about fellows and that feels like such an inclination that I’m in the right place.  I don’t know what else to say, but I know I’m not done with this blog post yet.

Okay, and I’m back again for the second time and in this case it’s the next morning. Not much else to add, but I am sipping a light roast (shocker) anaerobic yeast fermented Nicaraguan coffee that I snagged while back in South Carolina. This bright cup reminds me of pineapple rinds, lemons, and stone fruits.

Now this blog feels complete, or at least good enough.

Working! Playing! Trying to Rest!!

Hi all!! Maddie Grace here! I know you missed me, but we’re so back!

This month I will be reflecting on work, play, and rest!! Balancing these things well is a challenge as a busy fellow, but I’m lucky to have some really great role models that I’ve been taking my cues from. So here are my updates!

Work!! I’m doing a mix of work from home and in person meetings for RiverCross, and finally feel like I’m figuring out how to be productive at both! My boss is an incredible example of knowing when to bring people together and when to work independently. As I discovered through Myers-Briggs, my extroverted self works best when I can talk-think-talk; sometimes I need to brainstorm with a coworker or friend, take those ideas and think on them, then communicate again what I come up with. Grateful for a workplace that works with the strengths of its team members!

Play!! Nobody parties like the Raleigh Fellows (new slogan pending?). Whether it’s Jackie’s gourd awards, Jacob showing up to youth ministry meeting in wedding attire, or Hailey’s bull ride at the fair, someone is always bringing a sense of whimsy to our activities. Whatever we do, the fellows keep it fun and lighthearted.

Rest!! This is difficult to do when there’s so many good books to read, cool people to hang out with, and fun places to go! But I’ve had some really great conversations this month about finding moments of stillness and quiet during such a busy season (s/o Bevy and Tessa). I’ve been trying to rest before I feel like I desperately need it, so that I can work (and play) out of my rest, instead of resting from my work (and play). I’m lucky that so many of the fellows are good at setting boundaries and resting, because it reminds me that I need boundaries around rest too. Thanks guys!!

Welp, that’s all for now! Have to go finish planning my Halloween costume now! Hopefully next time I’m writing this, there will be a Christmas tree within my line of sight (CANT WAIT). Side note… does time move faster as a fellow?

Anyhoo, see you next month!

MG

The Conversation I Almost Missed

Heyllo it is me Tyler!!

This month has been both hard and beautiful — a mix of failure and grace — and yet, looking back, I can honestly say it was amazing overall. There were moments at work when I failed more times than I’d like to admit. But even in those moments, I felt God teaching me how to rise again, how to choose growth over guilt. I can’t explain it, but there’s an odd kind of honor in failure when you know it’s shaping your faith. When God places something in my lap that causes me to stumble, I’ve learned to bless Him for the lesson hidden inside it.

This past week, God showed me just how distracted I’d become. My days were filled with noise — friends, music, Netflix, endless scrolling. The only time He could get my attention was when I finally laid my head down at night. It made sense why I couldn’t fall asleep some nights; even in the quiet, I’d still reach for my phone and scroll through TikTok until my eyes grew heavy.

Then came a Tuesday — the day God let me mess up.
At work, I was moving too fast and almost sent several schools the wrong information, something that could’ve caused a major setback. I left feeling frustrated, disappointed, and weighed down with self-blame. To make things worse, Google Maps decided to take me through an hour and ten minutes of bumper-to-bumper traffic on my way home — a route I never usually take.

Music is my usual comfort when I’m upset — my way of drowning out emotion. But that day, my phone wouldn’t connect to my car (it had been giving me issues all week). Every failed connection only made my frustration worse. Finally, I gave up and sat in silence for the entire drive home.

And somehow… that silence changed everything.

It felt strange at first, but also freeing. To simply sit with my thoughts — to breathe the air of stillness — felt like a gift from God. I didn’t realize how much I needed it until that moment. The silence gave me space to redirect my thoughts toward Christ and actually talk with Him. It was like catching up with an old friend I hadn’t sat down with in a while. (I talk to Jesus every day, but not like that — not for that long.)

Looking back now, I see exactly what He was doing. That detour, that broken Bluetooth connection — it wasn’t random. God was leading me into silence, away from distractions, straight into His presence. And that car ride became sacred ground.

Since then, I’ve started driving in silence more often. And you’d be amazed what a little silence can uncover. I’ve begun rediscovering parts of myself that had been buried under the noise — the curious, thoughtful, even silly parts. I’ve started asking deeper questions again. Listening more. Not just to myself, but for the still, quiet voice of God.

That night, after I got home, I sat in my car replaying the whole day. Half of it was spent scrolling, half in silence. And as I talked with God, He placed an image on my heart — one I’ll never forget:

“Tyler, did you not hear My calls?”
I replied, “No, Father, I didn’t.”
“Son, I’ve been calling you for days now, but you haven’t answered.”
“But Father, I’ve been on my phone this whole time — how could I have missed Your calls?”
And He said, “You’ve been distracted by all the noise in your life. The only time I can speak is when you lay your head down to rest. Do you not hear the phone ringing? It’s right next to you. The reason you can’t hear it is because of the other noise — if you would only turn it off, you’d hear Me calling.”

That conversation hit me like a gentle but piercing truth. I had been tuned into the wrong frequency, listening to the wrong conversation. God had been calling all along — I just wasn’t quiet enough to hear.

Now I understand why Jesus often withdrew to pray alone. He needed silence to be with His thoughts, to be sober-minded in a noisy world. And doesn’t God call us to the same? “Be still, and know that I am God.” To rest our worries on His shoulders and take the weight off our chests. For His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:28–30).

God reminded me this week that I don’t have to fight my battles alone. I will fail again — many times, probably — but He’ll be right beside me, ready to lift me up. The question is: will I be quiet enough to hear Him calling my name?

She's a Jolly Good Fellow...

Hello all. I cannot believe I am writing a blog post. If I am being completely honest, I feel like the last person on earth anyone could ever imagine blogging, but here we are, and I am just writing off the dome, so let’s see what comes to mind…(ps. I promise to get better at these posts as the year continues)

My name is Morgan, but I am better known as Trey’s cousin among the Fellows community. A little bit of background about me: I’m from Richmond, VA, and I recently graduated from Elon University in May. Although I spent the last four years in North Carolina, Burlington feels like a completely different world compared to Raleigh. I cannot emphasize enough how much better life is when Sweet Frog and Chicken Salad Chick aren’t 35 minutes away.

My first month as a fellow:

On the first day of Fellows, I probably said about four words (name, hometown, major, and school). Beyond that, I didn’t talk much because I wasn’t sure how the other Fellows would perceive me. It wasn’t until about a day and a half later, after a game of family and a dinner where I gave an in-depth retelling of my JFK Assassination and conspiracies class from college, that I’d say I fully opened up to the group (it’s hard to come back from something like that). The rest of our time spent at the lake was incredible and we really built the foundation to what the rest of the month would bring.

We’ve grown so much as a Fellows class over the past month. Testimonies, roundtables, and group outings have brought us together far quicker than I could have imagined.

I got to start my job!!! I am loving Sydnie & Co. I’ve already learned so much, and I admire the way they’re prioritizing my growth not only professionally, but also personally. I’ve enjoyed gaining fresh perspective in the field of marketing, and I can’t wait to see what I’ll continue to learn over the next nine months.

We also started classes last week, and I discovered my Myers-Briggs type. I’m an ISFP! Special shoutout to Glenn for bringing PlayDoh and candy to class. I was locked in the whole time.

I’ve also loved spending part of my Monday evenings at Neighbor to Neighbor! I have the privilege of mentoring Amarie, and we’ve already had the best time working together.

Other News:

George paid a visit to the kids at fall camp. #FTK

Somehow I was given access to the fellows instagram. I am waiting for my instagram story privileges to be revoked because of how unesthetic my content is, but it’s all from the heart and created with love.

September features:

• birthday celebrations (HBD to Will, Hailey, Jackie, and Maddie Grace)

• The Summer I Turned Pretty (and the summer we converted all the guys to Conrad Stans)

• Docksology <3

• Discovered cannoli dip, life changing

• Made my first t-shirt (coming to you November 2025)

Honorable mentions:

• Shoutout to my single mother Maddy Ritter for being the hostess with the mostess this past month while her husband was away at war (also known as the Toronto and New York film festival).

• Marsha my mentor: GOAT. Love meeting with her Monday mornings to kick off the week.

• Ashley: Cannot imagine having anyone else as a director. An inspiration to all.

Miscellaneous thoughts:

• Very inexperienced in the whole enneagram department which is a big thing around here: reminds me of the divergent factions (stay tuned for my enneagram reveal)

• Robin Bolash makes the best cupcakes I’ve ever had

• I love Fellows Friday

• Despite my height, I am not good at pool basketball

• The Raleigh roads are weirdly skinny

• Pains me to admit that I have hopped on the Jubala and Two Roosters bandwagon in no time at all

• Hype for the new Taylor Swift Album tomorrow

-Signing off, Morgan

Where There's a Will #1

I’ve always said that if I had an autobiography one day then I would name it “Where There’s a Will.” As of right now this is the closest I’ll be to an autobiography, so I’m going to use it now. My blogs will all come under this name and I look forward to seeing how these posts combine to tell the story that is my time as a Raleigh Fellow! I have always enjoyed journaling and when I think I have a good idea, I like to share it. Mostly with people who I am close with or I think would like the idea. In my head this blog is like that but on steroids. So my goal is that whoever reads this likes my ideas and thoughts.

September was the longest short month of my life. I can’t believe that I met the rest of the Fellows just over 4 weeks ago, not even a month. On that first day as Fellows, we were all thrown into the fire that is this program. The fire has only grown bigger since we have left Docksology (Ashley’s lake house) and added different tasks to our weekly lives. Things like Youth Fall Camps, Neighbor to Neighbor, telling testimonies or group outings to Durham. When I think about this fire and I think about our lives together it reminds me of Daniel 3 and the Blazing Furnace. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were literally thrown into a blazing furnace by King Nebuchadnezzar. This fire was so hot that it killed Nebuchadnezzar’s soldiers as they threw the three tied up men in. When the King looked into the fire he saw four men, unbound, walking around the fire. The fourth man was described to look like a god! That is how I imagine our group, unbound and walking around in the fire. The 12 of us and that mysterious fourth man, who I like to believe is the Son of Man himself. Now obviously, we are not under persecution and are not being thrown into an actual fire by an evil king (no matter how much you dislike Ashley, I don’t think you can say she is as bad as Nebuchadnezzar). I like to think that when people on the outside watch us navigate this fire, they react the same way Nebuchadnezzar did—jumping up in amazement and astounded at how well we are doing in the middle of this metaphorical blazing furnace.

With all that being said, this blog is another first being added to a long list of firsts that have happened in this first month of Fellows. My favorite thing that happened this month was actually not a 1st, but instead a 22nd. I had a birthday party on September 8th, just 6 days after becoming a Fellow. I thought that I was the one that planned this get together, but behind the scenes Maggie Mae (my girlfriend) and Ashley (our wonderful director) had been planning this event for weeks. A combination of people that I only ever imagined being in the same place at my wedding, were brought together at Lynnwood Brewing Company to help celebrate me. As I stood in front of everybody with my cake and looked out at the crowd and gave my silly speech like we always made the birthday person do in college, I was overwhelmed by emotion. It was incredible that people that I had known since the beginning of high school, the first day of college, my family and people I met a week ago came together to love me so well.

This love has been very evident in this first month and I can only imagine how much it is going to grow as we navigate the next 8 months together. It is already painful to see that number shrink as the program flies and crawls by at the same time. I look forward to writing this blog throughout the year and I hope you guys enjoy reading it! Leave a comment if you feel like it, I always enjoy comments.

-Will Brown

From Left to Right: Me, Maggie Mae

MM and I at the wonderful party she planned for me!

From Left to Right: Chuck, Me, Trae

My college buddies Chuck and Trae came to my party. Chuck lives in Angier and Trae came down from Boone!

From Left to Right: Darius, Me, Blake, Quincy

A couple of my best friends from high school. They’ve been with me since freshman year! Both are local and came to my party. Blake is my little brother, my 6 year younger twin.

From Left to Right: (Top) Jacob, Tyler, Peyton, Me (Bottom) Bevi, Maddie Grace, Carsyn, Hailey, Morgan, Jackie, Reagan

My fellow Fellows! On our welcome retreat at Docksology after barely 24 hours of knowing each other. Best friends!

The Summer I Turned Fellow

It was a summer I would never, ever forget. It was the summer everything began. It was the summer I became a Fellow. Because for the first time, I felt it. Community, I mean" -an original quote by Peyton Odum.

Yep, that’s me - Peyton! A few months ago, I received an interesting text message. It read “I know last time I saw you, you were still looking for jobs. Have you reached any kind of conclusions there?” Naturally, I wanted to respond with something along the lines of “Dude…of course!! My inbox is FLOODED with job offers from across the entire country”. For context, I don’t believe anyone with a degree in Sport Management is saying that soooooo I pretended to have a few solid leads, but still open to new opportunities. Little did I know that a few phone calls later & a meal from Chick-fil-A would be just enough to convince Peyton Odum to become a Raleigh Fellow.

At the time, it seemed a bit spontaneous (which makes a lot of sense now that we’ve confirmed I’m ESFP - courtesy of the Myers Briggs test). Everything was going pretty well for me, at least on the surface. Incredible internships, working part-time in the NHL and walking across stage with all the fancy cords around my neck - what more could I ask for? The only issue - I felt so alone and distant from God. My soul longed for community …my heart longed to be seen. It doesn’t make sense that I’m here, but I’m unbelievably grateful that I am.

I realize this chapter of my life is just beginning, yet it doesn’t feel that way. I walked into a room full of strangers just a few weeks ago, and now I’m binge watching the Summer I Turned Pretty with my new best friends. Ashamedly, I’m also listening to Taylor Swift in my free time - not exactly what I prayed for, BUT here I am. It’s as if every single part of my life is changing - which is kinda what I prayed for now that I’m thinking about it. To make things easier, I will list a few of those life updates below…

1.) Started a new job - Marketing, Communications & Outreach Coordinator at NeighborHealth Center - sounds fancy right? I even have my own business cards woohoo!

2.) Moved into a house with a host family - The moment I walked into Ann intensely watching college football and using words like “transfer portal” and “pass interference” was the moment I knew this would be a GREAT year. Jim is pretty cool too.

3.) Became a mentor at Neighbor to Neighbor - I’ve absolutely loved serving my student during our afterschool program. In the brief time I’ve been mentoring, a genuine relationship has grown from simply getting to know, listen and understand someone who is growing up in a much different situation than I did.

4.) Leading Student Ministry - Let’s be honest, middle & high school boys can be challenging to say the least, but sharing the Gospel & seeing it resonate might be the most rewarding thing ever.

New job, new opportunities and new friends…crazy right? God has been so faithful and sweet in this new season - continuing to cut off every branch of mine that doesn’t bear fruit, and pruning every branch that does so they will produce even more. None of this is easy, but it makes my heart happy knowing that I am surrounded by people who see me fully, yet still choose to love me.

SEPTEMBER HIGHLIGHTS…

-Trip to Ashley’s lake house

-Sharing my testimony & crying through it all

-Guy’s night at the Canes game

-Round Table

-LUMINEERS CONCERT…best night of my life…perhaps

-Making new friends!

Until next time,

-Pey

The Leaves are Changing and So Am I

The thing I was most excited about when I chose to move to Raleigh was the promise of experiencing all four seasons. I am a Florida girl in mind, body, and spirit, which means that warm weather, sunshine, and green palm trees feel like home to me. Despite this, there has always been a part of me that cannot resist the coziness of fall. And, although I have seen the leaves change in various places throughout my life, I have never experienced it in a place I inhabit.

You might be thinking: Jackie, it’s only the end of September, the leaves are hardly changing, and to that I would agree with you. However, as someone who grew up seeing vibrant green, I believe I have a special ability to notice the ever-so-slight rusting of leaves and golden hues sprinkled along the oak-lined streets on my morning and evening commutes.

Moving away from the only state I’ve ever known, the leaves changing was something I could hope for. A known. The only comforting change I could allow myself to acknowledge as I came into Fellows, which launches you into so many unknowns. It was scary to leave my college town, friends, family, friends that feel like family, my church, my home state, and so many familiar things that I deeply cherish. If anyone asked me what I was excited for, I found myself leaning on the phrase “for the leaves to change!” What I was not ready for was the joy I would experience in the change of my life itself.

Just as slowly as the leaves have begun to change, so have I. Not in a crazy way, but in the sense that I am more open to life changing. With every passing day, I am feeling more confident in the Lord’s plan for me in Raleigh for this season. I am so grateful for the class of my fellow Fellows with whom I get to experience this program. They are fun, lighthearted, intentional, silly, and full of tenderness. I am grateful for Ashley and her relational, fun, and hospitable style of directing and for my wonderful host family, the Thielmans, who have already made me feel like part of their family. I am so blessed to work at Raleigh Rescue Mission with a wonderful team that cares deeply for those in the community. I have had the best time forming a friendship with my Mentee at Neighbor-to-Neighbor, and I am so excited to keep learning from the classes that we are taking.

As confident as I am in the changing of the leaves, I am confident in the Lord’s sovereignty over my life. Just as he is carefully sprinkling bits of gold onto the canopy of trees in North Carolina, he has been placing bits of himself for me to see in my time here, day by day.

With life slowly unfolding, it is sweet to see the promise of vibrant colors ahead.

xoxo Jackie (had to do it Gossip Girl style)

Charting Unkown Waters with God

“Washing waves reflect my soul as light shines upon me, oh how I sing a song of joy to God who blesses thee. He guides my boat across the lake to a destination unknown, he is my compass and my purpose, surely, he will lead me home.” - Tylr Brantley

My name is Tyler Brantley — I’m a poet, a writer, a photographer, an artist, and most importantly, a child of God. What a way to kick off this post! Technically, it isn’t my first one (I’ve written on my personal blog before), but this feels different. This year, I wanted to challenge myself to stay connected with those who want to follow my adventures and lessons learned while in the Fellows program.

I can hardly believe it’s already been one month. It feels like yesterday we were arriving at Doxology — climbing out of a cramped car as strangers, headed to spend a week at Ashley’s lake house. If only past Tyler could see me now, he’d be amazed at how quickly those strangers became family.

It’s hard to describe the feeling, but the best way I can put it is this: it’s like being both known and seen at the same time. I had close friends back in college, but these fellows are on another level. We’ve shared the thick and thin of our life stories, meeting one another with grace and compassion. We carve out time for each other when we could be resting alone, and though our weekly schedule is full — even draining at times — being together refreshes not just our social batteries but our very souls.

Never before have I experienced such a true, Christ-centered presence as I have in this group. Honestly, I was nervous at first. I worried I wouldn’t be welcomed — that my past or even my body image might hold me back. But once again, God proved me wrong. Through the love and acceptance of the fellows, He showed me I am exactly where I’m meant to be.

Like Peter stepping out onto the water, I took a step of faith when I joined this program. Before, I felt like I was sailing with a compass that had no direction. But God called me here to Raleigh, and I can already see His hand at work. I feel blessed and thankful for everything He’s done in my life this past month.

I know He has even greater plans ahead — not just for me, but for all of us. We’ve climbed into the same boat, unsure of what challenges lie ahead, but certain of this: if we keep our eyes on Christ, He will guide us safely home.

Well well well. First Fellows blog! Feels good. Feels right.

Maybe I should introduce myself? Since I’m new to this? I’m going to. Hi I’m Hailey Cook! I’m a Raleigh Fellow (crowd applauds) and I’m from the Texas area of the great state of Texas. Do with that what you will; use your imagination. (Austin and Houston. Your imagination is spot on.)

First month of Fellows down and the only way I can describe how I’m feeling is that I feel GOOD to be here and slightly homesick. I’ll always be homesick, I love and miss my family, but nonetheless, I’m rocking and rolling and there’s a lot of joy in all that I’m feeling. Leading up to this, the Lord gave me so much confirmation and comfort that Raleigh was it for me and I’m in adoration of what God can do with a human yes. My yes! It’s really sweet to see how He’s cared for me way before I knew Fellows was even on the table. Anyways, let’s get into how the first month has been.

I’m an introvert. And this whole program is about LIVING among community. When they say living, they’re like genuinely not joking. There’s seriously not one day of my week that I don’t see at least one fellow. And what a gift that is! But this past week I did hit my limit. It’s so lit that I know my limits, when to draw back, and not to push them because right now I’d probably be dragging along. And thank the Lord FOMO isn’t something I ever deal with. With that being said I literally only missed one hangout with the group, so I’m being dramatic but not being at that one hangout and washing laundry and cleaning my room changed my life.

Okay a few favorite things so far!

Birthday’s! Spending my birthday with the fellows, and my friend Madison who came to visit, was the best ever. And celebrating 3 other fellows’ birthdays was so sweet. People who have only known each other for under a month knowing how to celebrate each other is a super cool thing.

N2N. I love mentoring at Neighbor to Neighbor on Mondays! My kid I mentor, Aubrey, wants to be my best friend and obviously the feeling is mutual because she’s so fun. But we learn how to read and spell better on Mondays and it’s cherished time.

My job! I work in the Advancements office at St. David’s School, and it has been so fun and so fruitful. I get to work alongside 4 women who are so fun, and the work is all things I enjoy doing which is huge. And I work with a fellow! Bevi and I have gotten to carpool, eat lunch and catch up midday together which has been such a cool thing!

Host family. Getting to know, be with, and just the simplicity of eating meals together has been a huge win. The Miedema’s are truly the best. I feel an abundance of gratefulness for them opening their home for me to stay with them. Can’t really put it into words how awesome they’ve been.

Hot tubs. Only on three occasions this month have I been in a hot tub but all three were epic because hot tubs are epic.

Now a few favorite songs of the month! (very girly month for music. I love being a girl.)

Worth It. -RAYE (duh)

The Hardest Part- Olivia Dean (yes.)

Nobody’s Son- Sabrina Carpenter (like everyone else)

Don’t Balme Me- Taylor Swift (this always)

Angels Like You- Miley Cyrus (obviously)

Okay I think that’s it for now. Until next month!

first four weeks of being a raleigh fellow!

Hi blog readers, friends, and family - 

My name is Bevi and I am your new favorite Raleigh Fellow! Here are my thoughts and feelings about the first four weeks of being a Raleigh Fellow.

Last week, Ashley (program director) asked us for a word to describe our experience so far & how we are feeling. My word is blessed because that is how I feel! I have felt overwhelmed by this new life - there are a lot of logistics, things to keep track of, and busyness. My body has been adjusting to the transition, I got sick for a while, and I am tired. But I am also overwhelmed by how great it’s been and how many blessings I have received. I feel lucky and privileged to be here in this program and have so many people pouring into me. 

Here’s a mini recap of some of the blessings:

Host family: HUGE shoutout to Cathy and Billy Williams for hosting me this year and already loving me so well. I think it was my second day here and they already knew that buying me my favorite foods and treats is how to make me feel seen & loved. I feel so safe & at ease at home, which I do not take for granted. I feel blessed by their hospitality and I am grateful for how they have chosen to both get to know me and share their lives with me. It’s been so fun!

The fellows (my 10 new buddies!):

I’ve seen these blog posts and heard from fellows before about the beginning of the year and how “it’s so crazy how God brings strangers together and they become best friends.” I’m like yeah okay whatever, no way it is that easy, but that’s a nice thing to say. 

OKAY well it’s crazy. You put 11 of us in Ashley’s lake house for the first week of fellows and we literally have to be friends. There wasn’t really a choice. The first day of orientation at the church and driving to the lake was exhausting. By the end of the next day, now at the lake, we were comfortable & bonding with each other (it helps when Ashley brings us out on the boat and we sit there for a few hours with nowhere to escape to). By the end of the following day, we were fully teasing & laughing at each other (shoutout Peyton). We are all eager to get to know one another and share life together. We all are trying things we would never have done (watching the summer I turned pretty) so we can love each other well. We’ve celebrated four birthdays! It is so special. And thanks Ashley for being the best at your job and making the group dynamic SO fun. 

Over the past few weeks, we have all shared our testimonies and life stories with one another. I’ve been blown away by the fellows and their perspectives on life and faith. It’s been sweet to hear the fellows affirm each other during such a vulnerable moment. God has used these testimonies to teach me 1. How different people and different personalities experience different parts of the Trinity in different ways throughout their lives. I see God as bigger and more vast. What we all have in common is that God has been pursuing each of us in some form for 22+ years and then led us here. 2. As followers of Jesus we are not “protected” from issues/problems/struggles. Somehow it is encouraging to know to not expect life to be easy and hear how other people my age have walked through various things. 

My job! I work for the director of student life at a private school called St. David’s. God has given me some unexpected blessings here! First, Hailey (a fellow) works with me which has been so fun - we get to carpool together, eat lunch together, etc. Next, I get free, hot, lunch every day. This is huge - food is my love language and I love how God is providing for me in this way. Lastly, I feel blessed to get to work with my boss Sarah Jane. She is spiritually wise and mature and has such an encouraging perspective on life. 

Neighbor to Neighbor! Each week the fellows volunteer as mentors/tutors for underserved kids in downtown Raleigh through a program called Neighbor to Neighbor. I was so excited for this part of Fellows and this hour is genuinely probably my favorite part of each week. I mentor a little girl named Chloe and she is my new best friend! 

Hard things & prayer requests

• Having lots of headaches from a lingering concussion & trying to figure out how to deal with that in such a crazy transition and busy life.

• Fully enjoying the blessings of Fellows means being fully locked in on the community here & I am grieving how other friendships operate differently now. I miss my college friends and our morning hugs and evening meals! And I miss Charlottesville! And I miss my family!

There is so much more to say but this feels good for now. From all of this I just feel “WOW.” I hope you enjoyed!

Love, 

Bevi Lundeen

Hello hello hello, I'm a Fellow Fellow Fellow!

It is quite surreal to be writing my first ever blog post as a Raleigh Fellow. I have read many of these over the past few years and seen many Fellows go before me. Their excitement and joy towards this program has brought me immense excitement and joy as well— knowing that many are cheering and praying for me as I embark on this journey of MY Fellows year. 

For those who don't know me, my name is Carsyn and I’m from Cary, NC. I graduated from NC State this May but have been a part of the Wolfpack since before I was born. I've had a deep love for the city for a long time, and I simply could not leave after graduating. I felt the Lord ask me to keep digging deeper here.

He said: "I have so much more for you in Raleigh."

So I said: "Yes Lord! You don't have to convince me."

Not only could I not leave Raleigh, I also wouldn't dare leave Apostles. I have been attending church here for about a year and a half and quickly fell in love with the community and church as a whole. Once again, why would I leave?

The Lord has shown me clearly over the past four weeks why He asked me to stay. I have many connections to this program way prior to saying yes, so there are many things that I have gotten to see behind the scenes before being an official “Fellow.” Prideful me somewhat went into the year thinking that I had all the answers, I knew all the things, I could make the first day not awkward (spoiler, it is no matter what)... basically that I had this whole Fellows thing figured out. A whole bunch of I, I, I and I.

I was surely mistaken! All of my life, I have been searching for a sense of safety and security. The Lord has been and always will be the sole provider of this. But often I find myself trying to find this on my own— through my own understanding and strength. When things started to shift from the expectations I had on myself and on the program, I began to “crash out” (not literally, this is just a buzzword among the Fellows.) I had to uproot the parts of me that I hadn’t surrendered and scan my heart for what I truly wanted this to be. I found that my Fellows experience doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s before me. Instead the Lord has already written my experience for me and there is no need for performance, pressure or anxiety.

The past month has been humbling, stretching and filled with gentle reminders that I am not the one in control. It’s been a blessing to be reminded that it’s okay (and actually freeing!) to not know or understand in the moment. I have found rest in this surrender and in the knowing that I am a Daughter of Christ. He provides! Here are some things He's done:

• All of the girl Fellows are Swifties. We are working on the boys.

• We share a collective love for our dear friend Conrad in The Summer I Turned Pretty.

• We are all really weird. I heard that's a requirement for the program.

• Vulnerability. Even when forced through testimonies it is a blessing to sit and listen to someone tell their full story. The heaviness is purposeful as we get to see the full picture of what God has done and what He will continue to do.

• All the back to back birthdays! 

• I really enjoy my job! This was a huge worry throughout college but I feel the Lord showing me a path in my career. I <3 RHP!

• Low country boil at the Parkers!

• The Fronczaks. They're as perfect as perfect can be. 

• Youth retreat specifically Morgan dressed up as George.

• Spiritual Formation with Mary Young and lectio divina.

• Meeting my mentor Katie Koon! She is so cool and I'm excited to know and be known by her deeply.

• 3v3 basketball at Maddie Grace’s family's pool. 

• The way the Fellows ALWAYS show up. It has been hard balancing Raleigh friendships with my focus on being a Fellow, but they show up and are excited about the things I bring them too which has been so so so kind.

• Zinchouse...?

• Sweet moments with Jonah at N2N!

Ok wow that was a lot. And somehow I still left out so much??? Thank you Lord! Thank you that I have no idea what you're going to do next and that my plan and expectations always fall short. All I know is that God is creative and what He has for me is beyond anything I can ever imagine.

Until next time,

Carsyn Gilmore

It's so sweet

“It’s so sweet, the way that you love me.”

That’s a paraphrase of a lyric that I can’t get out of my head right now. I won’t tell you the song it’s from cause it’s not the most appropriate. Very stuck in my head like all of the past 2 weeks.

Why?

Because it rings true right now.

There is no word that more aptly describes my life right now than sweet.

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At roundtable last week we were asked our thoughts on our experience these initial weeks of Fellows. My response, whelmed. (Yes, whelmed is a word). Neither overwhelmed nor underwhelmed. No, it’s not an original quote. Robin (sidekick of Batman) said it in a children’s show.

Nothing from these initial weeks has been too much, nor has it been too little. I’m feeling stretched in the best of ways. The only thing that would have probably overwhelmed me this month at all is the karaoke we were supposed to do last week. I do not like doing karaoke at all, and I’m grateful the plans fell through. But I would have done it.

So, why would I do it then? Well, we’ve had 4 birthdays in Fellows this month and this is what the 4 of them all wanted to collectively do to celebrate. And being able to love on these people I didn’t know a month ago has been, well, sweet. It’s such a great opportunity to be intentional.

Furthermore, love “does not insist upon its own way” (1 Corinthians 13:5).

That’s been a beautiful reminder over these weeks, to see how we’ve all been so willing to die to ourselves for the sake others.

So, I am willing to die to myself and butcher a beloved song on stage.

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On welcome retreat the Lord placed these lines from a hymn in my head and they’ve been stuck ever since fellows started.

“When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my thought thou hast taught me to say

It is well, it is well with my soul”

I heard that hymn in full the next week at a funeral and, well, that made me cry.

It was the first entry in my journal during our quiet hour of spiritual formation class.

The last line on that same day?
“It’s so sweet, the way that you love me.”

God has me (and you) exactly where we’re supposed to be. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Find something to be grateful for today and every day. His blessings abound. For me, it’s this Sebastian Ramirez Watermelon Co-Ferment coffee I drank while writing the first draft. It tasted like a watermelon lollipop & pink starburst (shoutout to the homies at Black &White).

But I’m also grateful for these people. Mostly these people.

Jacob W. Currin

Life Update...

Hello world!! It's me (Maddie Grace), a 2026 Raleigh fellow (finally!!)! As a Raleigh native, I'm excited to be here and explore new community in this familiar city! My first month in fellows has flown by, and so much has changed! To summarize:

• I spent 5 days at the lake with 10 strangers turned new best friends (pictured below!)

• Moved in with the best host family (yay Loftis family!)

• Continued my work at RiverCross (development & launching the college ambassador program!)

• Shared my testimony with the fellows & had the privilege of hearing everyone else's

• Met my incredible mentor, Beth, who is legitimately the coolest person I've ever met & my awesome fellows buddy, AG (happy late bday queen)

• Celebrated my 23rd birthday at the youth fall camp w/ my amazing 11th grade small group, co-leaders & fellows! 

• Began mentoring my sweet 2nd grade mentee at Neighbor 2 Neighbor

• Started classes on Bible, Just Leadership, the obsolescence of religion in America, and a Myers Briggs workshop (its official… I'm an ENFJ)

• And so much more that I'm definitely forgetting… 

During this busy & exciting month, it's been meaningful to reflect on just how right everything feels. I've been so supported and welcomed by the fellows & wider church community, and my hometown of Raleigh just got so much bigger. How cool is it that every aspect of this program is so intentionally focused on growth and service?? I feel so stretched already, and in the best way. 

I'm currently writing this from the RDU airport, waiting to board my flight to Houston to join RiverCross staff at the CAFO (Christian Alliance for Orphans) conference this week! I am missing the fellows already (RIP girls night), but feel so lucky to have this opportunity for personal and professional development. 

Moving into October, I'd love prayers for:

• A fruitful week of bonding and learning with RiverCross staff + partners (and that the fellows don't forget me while I'm gone (': ) 

• Deeping relationships with the amazing people placed in my life

• God's continued work and shaping in my life and the lives of fellows

With love!!

Maddie Grace Wohlschlegel