At the start of my freshman year of college I read a book by Shauna Niequist called Cold Tangerines. There are a few books I end up re-reading almost every year, and this is one that falls into that category. The premise of the book, and it’s title, comes from when Shauna writes “I want to eat cold tangerines and sing loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing…and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that He gave life to someone who loves the gift” … becoming more aware of God in the everyday and the ordinary. That’s the hope.
The phrase ‘the newness is fading’ is one that has been thrown around pretty often this month. To be fair, it is true despite how tired I am of hearing it. Things are beginning to feel routine and consistent, and with that it can fall into feeling mundane, everything on my schedule feeling more and more like an obligation. It’s all too easy for me to perceive the mundanity as God’s absence- abandoning the idea that this everyday, common life is just as much a gift as anything else.
When I thought about some of my favorite moments from this last month I was surprised, and confused almost, by how unexciting they all sounded on the surface: going to Bojangles after class, driving around at night with Morgan, watching Make It Or Break It with Sara, Monday nights around the dinner table, hanging out in the kitchen, sitting in the street at 11 pm, watching football, driving down Glenwood after Neighbor to Neighbor while the sun was setting and shining through the trees. So much of me wants more of the big moments, more stories that feel like they’re worth telling. But maybe that was the point of this all. I want to believe more deeply in the discipline of celebration, to see these moments with the same weight as the big ones. I want God to be “glad that He gave life to someone who loves the gift”.
One of my favorite authors Anne Lamott wrote “Frankly, I was hoping to see more white cliffs and beaches, fewer swamps and shadows, but this was real life, the nature of things, full of both wonder and rot”. I think I could easily summarize my month in this way- more rot than wonder, spending too much time wishing for fewer shadows. Yet with each day, each boring and seemingly unimportant day, I'm trying (and failing, and trying again) to notice God’s presence in it all, and see it all worthy of celebration. All is a gift, all is joy.
monthly music recommendations: nominal by #1 dads, hold on by yola, live well by palace, deep sea diver by briston maroney, one more second by matt berninger, jenny of the roses (live) by hiss golden messenger, alcatraz by oliver riot
— Jen