Warm spring rain. One of my all time favorite things.
I know that humidity isn’t everyone’s friend, but for me, there’s something about being refreshed by a light rain in the cozy, warm air of spring that feels like one big hug. Two weeks ago at work I propped open the door in the classroom I was eating lunch in, and to my surprise on what had been a cloudy, chilly day, sunlight poured into the room with a warm breeze right on its tail. Outside, a light rain was falling onto a patch of vibrant flowers, and a cardinal (VA state bird baby!) came and sat on a branch only feet from where I was standing.
Glory.
Seems insignificant, but teary-eyed joy washed over me really briefly. It all felt like a present just for me from the God of heaven. Gratitude overwhelmed me like an exhale, like some kind of relief. This has happened a lot the past few months. The Lord has been unearthing so much in my heart, stirring up some pretty intense, short-lived emotions. From bursts of elation walking through the woods on our silent retreat or playing basketball between classes, to angry tears about the lies we’ve been told about our bodies or quiet tears of loneliness, to serious longing, I’ve felt it all.
As always, it’s been made known to me that I have a part to play in this process — by being honest. Hiding behind the half-truth of God’s deserved reverence, my fear of what happens if I’m honest has often led me to blanket my prayers about struggles and aches with disingenuous language. March was a month of realizing this and calling it out. I do think that the Lord should be thought of and spoken to with honor, but the God of stunning holiness on Mount Sinai is also the unflinching God of Job and Jacob. Besides the fact that He already knows everything I’m going to tell Him, I have every! reason! to come to Him in all honesty and boldness. He is the Father of mercies and God of all comfort (2 Cor. 1:3). Even when we do dishonor Him, we have Jesus, the ultimate sympathizer, as our advocate and intercessor (1 John 2:1; Hebrews 7:25).
This honesty that He’s called me to, the very thing I’m often afraid of, has turned out to be the one thing that’s opened me up to the life that comes from unearthed soul-soil. Maybe that’s why I love warm spring rain so much: it’s a depiction of life, of the resurrection happening inside of me.
“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” — Isaiah 55:10-11
Questions and Quotes —
“Conflict breeds intimacy.” — THE Erin Alexis Watkins
Who is someone that you know really well?
“Christianity is about relationship with God and others, and because this statement is true, Christianity is also unapologetically about rules, for rules show us how to live in those relationships.” — Jen Wilkin
When was the last time you were forgiven?
“You just stay.” — a Pre-K student explaining marriage
“Just be yourself. Who you are is good and worthy and beautiful. Just be yourself.” — John Farwell
What is your favorite family vacation?
“We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.” - Stephen M.R. Covey
P.S. While writing this, my heart went on a whole tangent and started writing to my precious friends who are deconstructing their faith. It’s not finished yet and won’t be for a while, but if you see this and fall into that camp or are curious, I’d love to send it to you once it’s done. I’ll just need to be reminded approximately 800 times. All the love to you!
— Brooke