I want to share song lyrics from Chris Renzema’s song called Older Than our God:
For the joy of innocence
Dreaming things that don't make sense
Keep me as a child
And for the things we've left behind
The space between out heart and mind
Keep me as a child
For we've grown older than our God
We've grown older than our God
I found these lyrics particularly helpful as I read our assigned reading from Brennan Manning’s book Abba’s Child. Manning discusses the importance of embracing our inner child by seeking authenticity in ourselves. He suggests that accepting our inner child is a doorway to a more enriching and authentic relationship with Christ. Embracing our truest and most authentic self means acknowledging our shortcomings, weaknesses, and places of pride and self-righteousness. Renzema’s lyrics express Manning’s point; that we, as fickle humans, tend to grow older than God: the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and end, and the infinite and eternal being.
So, what does it mean to grown older than God?
Scripture informs us that childlikeness is a prerequisite for growing closer to Christ. We see this in Matthew 18:3-4: “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven”.
I take this piece of Scripture to mean that we must embrace a sense of wonder, innocence, and humility when in relationship with Jesus. This means embracing a childlike posture when approaching Christ. I am reminded of two common scenarios that have been helpful for me as I reflect on child-like faith. The first of which occurred this past summer while I was teaching Sunday school lessons. Quite often kids blurted out unfiltered question(s) or comments. They didn’t care what their peers thought of them. The idea that their reputation would be belittled was not a thought in their mind. Nothing was at stake. They asked questions from a point of awestruck wonder in our Savior and sought answers in a posture of humility. On the contrary, I find myself so often worrying about my reputation that it hinders and limits the questions I ask or comments I make. It’s a harsh reality but my image is fragile, and I don’t want to shatter it.
The second scenario occurred at Refugee Hope Partners (my Fellows internship). After our preschool session was over, a child began speedily running to her mom and unfortunately stumbled on the ground. She immediately reached out her hands and unashamedly cried for her mother. The sweet girl received her mom’s gaze with utmost comfort. In this event, the little girl did not draw on self-reliance, but on her parent – the one who knows best. I think this scenario makes for a great illustration of how I should run to the Father. I find myself increasingly becoming more self-reliant in times of struggle and also when I acquire more knowledge. Throughout this process, I’ve found myself loosing wonder in Christ. The Truth of the Gospel becomes stale, and I begin to experience what Renzema mentions in his song lyrics, “a gap between my mind and heart”.
I’ve come to conclude that growing older than God - for me at least - means functioning under an illusion of God based off earthly knowledge and experiences. I tend to work my way toward understanding God through listening to podcasts and sermons, reading Scripture and Christian books, and performing in ways that seem holy. Though not necessarily bad things, my avarice-oriented and consumeristic mindset often blinds my ability to see Christ through the lens of a child. The point: I subconsciously think acquiring enough knowledge will help me feel like I have control over my relationship with God. I seek to master God rather than be mastered by God.
The passage in Matthew 18, Renzema’s lyrics, and Manning’s book all point to the importance of bearing the image of Christ as a child. It’s clear to me that I want to strive to grow younger in surrender, to break the prideful walls down in my heart, to run unashamedly to Jesus, and to embrace the warmth of being a beloved child of Christ. As I begin my journey in the latter half of the Fellows program, I want to make it a priority to remind not only myself, but also my fellow Fellows of our true identity in Christ. As a People, we must be like a child in faith because we are children in Christ.
Kris