Rewind to the second month of Fellows. I’m being celebrated by my Host family (S/O to Tal, Michael, Calley, and Sushi Mangum) for my 23rd birthday. Along with the spectacular birthday affirmation notes, the Mangum family blessed me with a membership to a hot yoga studio downtown. Since October, I’ve had the privilege of going to hot yoga (108 degrees hot to be exact!!!) about three times a week. My experience thus far has been incredible: the rhythmic motions, postures, and transitions have created a sense of comfort in my own body as well as my mind and spirit. Throughout my practice, I’ve synthesized four points of reflection.
My first point of reflection relates to my inner life. At the beginning of class, the instructor prompts us to make an intention for our practice. An intention can be anything – a single word, a person, or even a prayer. I’ve found myself finding differing intentions in class, but the person I give it to is the same. I give it to my younger self. I honor the little girl who has a high ponytail, mud on knees, and ready for an adventure. I intentionally tell her that she is loved and treasured. I whisper to her that the Father has grace, care, nurturement, and patience for her. I give it to the Kris who didn’t know any of these things growing up. Giving myself these intentions have been powerful and healing as I work through past trauma. For this, I am grateful.
A second point of reflection relates to the motions, gestures, and transitions throughout class. My favorite instructors, Claudine and Ali, frequently verbalizes that transition don’t need to be fast, they just need to be embraced. Transitions are essential and important because they create the flow of the yoga practice. Often, postures are hard, and I fall or become misaligned. In times when postures are hard and I stumble, both instructors encourage me to respond and react gracefully as I transition into the next posture. I love this philosophy because it doesn’t negate my falling(s) but instead embraces failure with grace. The transition between postures reminds me of the transitions of life. Transitioning – like life – means either change or failure. Regardless if it’s the former or latter – or both - I must learn to embrace difficulty and change with gentleness, care, and patience. This reflection point has encouraged me to embrace my failings and respond with grace rather than shame, which is what I tend to do far too frequently. For this aspect of yoga, I am grateful.
An additional reflection point is similar to the former. Claudine and Ali will ask us to begin class with palms faced down in surrender. At the end of class, they invite us to posture our palms upward in praise. I love this posture because it’s very illustrative of the Sermon on the Mount and, more specifically the Beatitudes. Eric Bolash, our inductive Bible study teacher, has been leading the Fellows to study the Sermon on the Mount. I’ve learned that the first Beatitude – being poor in spirit – was intentionally put first because it’s the beginning point of our walk with Christ. This means recognizing and acknowledging our depravity apart from Christ. In a similar manner, at the beginning of class I arrive poor in spirit. I surrender everything to the Father, confessing that I am nothing apart from Him. Throughout class, I breathe out the bad fruit/lies in my life and breathe in Truth with each new posture. I invite the Lord and Holy Spirit to bring in His blessing upon me. Then, at the end of class, I have my palms up in praise that I have an aboundingly perfect Father who is full of mercy. For this aspect of yoga, I am grateful.
My last reflection point relates to a couple phrases frequently verbalized by all the yoga instructors. Typically, throughout our practice, the instructor will say, “Be selfish in here so that you can be more selfless out there”. This word has encouraged me to create space and care for myself, even outside of class. Another phrase that every yoga instructor says at the conclusion of every class is “Namaste”. In response, all the yogis respond “Namaste”. After my first-time practicing, I had no idea what this meant, so of course – like any 5 on the enneagram does - I looked it up. I found that Namaste simply means saying hello or goodbye in a respective manner. It’s communicating to another person to leave the current space with peace. I love this greeting because it reminds me to greet myself and others with care and tenderness. For the words of encouragement I receive during class, I am grateful.
So, to say that hot yoga has been impactful for me would be an understatement. My practice has led me to surrender and praise the Father and through this form of worship, I’ve given permission to 23-year-old Kris to love, care, and nurture the little, younger, and innocent Kris. It’s through the discipline of loving the Father and loving myself exactly where I am when I show up on the mat that I’ve found more strength to love others. Overall, I am grateful. As I continue to practice, I want to welcome the changes in life that will occur soon (AHHH, Fellows is almost over!!) and continue to love.
Kris