Let me start by saying…I can’t believe it’s already been two full months of my experience as a Raleigh Fellow. Maybe this is a common feeling amongst all young & “veteran” adults, but it feels like every year/month/week flies by at a perpetually and gradually quicker pace. October has been chocked full. While I believe this fellowship experience doesn’t fully emulate structure and rhythms of working full-time, it feels like I am working 40 hours. Over the past 8 weeks, I’ve been in the full swing of the fellows course curriculum, aiding my private wealth management team at Wells Fargo Advisors meet end-of-year objectives, and spending time every day to refine a set of healthy, consistent routines to succeed as an adult.
It is easy to emphasize the busyness of a fellow’s schedule. Truly, I find the rhythms and way of life as a fellow to be overwhelming in many aspects. YET I feel convicted in saying that this overwhelmed feeling is mostly coming from a good place. Specifically, October was a tough month for me, but the difficulties I faced have challenged me in ways that continue to inspire me to grow and better myself. In brief, my maternal grandma has dealt with some serious health issues and has been hospitalized for almost 4 weeks. I don’t know what God has in store for my grandma and if she will come through on the other side. It is incredibly tough for me to see here suffer so greatly—very much toeing the line between life and death. I am lucky to be placed in a program near her hospital. However, trying to process my visits with her has not been easy. What I’ve realized in all of this is that I DO NOT have a healthy way of handling tough emotional situations in my life. Especially in the face of highly emotional situations, I tend to withdraw and to shut myself off from the world. I almost can’t believe I can articulate this phenomenon—it feels natural for me to experience a difficult situation, withdraw from the world, face the consequences, and completely erase that a sequence of events from my recollective memory. This specific reaction has occurred enough where it feels normal. I am incredibly blessed that I had professors, TAs, friends, colleagues, and family members who have been compassionate has I’ve (unsustainably) dealt with difficult matters in my own life. This Raleigh Fellows’ year has truly forced to face head on my own weaknesses and blind spots. I am not the only experiencing the suffering that defines this fallen and Sin-laden world. Even more, perhaps more selfishly, I have priorities in life, and I cannot let symptoms of this broken world to derail my experience of life. Simply, I cannot allow suffering of my own or in empathy to dominate my conscious mind and distract my awareness from my own life responsibilities. I wish I had time to fully meditate and reflect upon difficulties I face in my life. Realistically, I believe—rather—it is more important to move forward and find ways to better myself as a person, as a man, and as a Christian. So, I ask not only that you pray for my grandma, but that you also pray for me…that the Lord will provide me a way or better understanding of how to properly balance my empathy and emotions whilst continuing to lead a Christ-centered and fulfilling mortal life.
This may seem abrupt, but I do want touch on another important development in my experience. The following is an account of the blessings I’ve experienced at my marketplace internship. Simply, I am absolutely loving my experience working for Wells Fargo Advisors. The financial world is more of an unknown to me. Yet, I am realizing it is very much a business about people. A particular tenant that continues to prod at me is that my private wealth management team wants to cultivate client relationships that allow for a hug—an embrace of brotherly love and trust in the financial advisors and our team to provide the best financial outcomes for each individual portfolio. Everything my teammates have thrown at me I’ve taken in stride and provided outstanding results in return. This past month I was buried in data entry and organization in Excel of inherited IRA accounts amongst our clientele. Specifically, it was important for me to organize information gathered from our client reports to indicate which accounts are due to have RMDs or how far off to expect RMDs…etc. This work is not easy or quick or fun, and I don’t have a ton of experience in Excel programming, BUT I find it incredibly thrilling to immerse myself fully into the world of finance. In addition, I have been heading up our monthly birthday card/gift procedures for our clientele and tracking new asset flows for the team (i.e., a client deposits X amount for us to invest or hold). Again, I lack knowledge and experience in finance, but I go to work every day eager and excited to learn more while using my skills in systematic thinking, analytical approach, and understanding of the political elements that influence business and commerce. I do not know what the Lord has in store for me after fellows, though I do feel that finance could be another potential career direction for me. Stay tuned for more next month.
Thankfully in Christ,
Luke