I thought it would be appropriate to start my final blog appearance with a journal excerpt from my meditation time in our spiritual formation class. Because spiritual formation, that’s the whole point, isn’t it?
“When I was younger, I prayed a lot for things like getting a good grade on my upcoming test. And then, when I grew to be so much older and wiser, I laughed with a sort of implicit condescension on people who prayed for things like getting a good grade on an upcoming test. Certainly God doesn’t care about things like that. Certainly the creator and king of the universe has better things to worry about?
But he’s swept the pedestal out from under my feet by showing me just how much he loves me. God doesn’t worry, but he does care. God doesn’t toil, but he does work.
At the risk of sounding theologically dishonest, God cares so much about the little things. I’m willing to bet that he does care how I do on my test, or about my job interview, or whether I like my wedding dress. And he also cares about the bigger things: how I learn about the world, and how my vocation and marriage point back to his kingdom. It’s not either-or, it’s both-and. The little things are the big things.
Like a parent who wants to see their child do well, he cares about the things we do, but their outcome has no bearing on his love for us. He’s the parent who’s there to embrace his crying kid when they fail their test. He’s the dad who takes his daughter out for ice cream after she’s just been dumped by the guy who was not even that cool to begin with. He’s the mom who picks up her teenage son from a party when he’s drunk and can’t drive home. The one who celebrates with us when we get into college and (finally) get approved to rent our first apartment (or the one who co-signs as our guarantor when we don’t). We’re his kids.
Don’t fall victim to thinking God isn’t for us just because things don’t turn out the way we would have had them. We’re putting together a puzzle that we only have like, four of the pieces to. This year has been a lot like that for me. I’ve been learning to cut my losses and ditch my expectations. To embrace unlikely friendships and spontaneity. To let myself be proven wrong — in fact, to challenge God to prove me wrong, and rejoice when he does.”
Our worldview teacher (and Holder of Many Other Titles that He May or May Not Consider to Be Impressive but I Certainly Do), Scott Steel(e?), was discussing the theology of “a calling” - namely, what is our calling? He said “all the saints in heaven are going to be people you’ve never heard of.” Ordinary people, living unremarkable lives, who are so, so precious in the sight of God. The ones who have stored up their treasures in heaven. Scott spoke of people whose earthly lives were not so much about what they did, but how they did it: with love, excellence, and glory to God. What a gift it is to live an unremarkable life, comprised entirely of the little things.
And I think that’s what Fellows is about: learning how to live ordinary, extraordinary lives.
Fellows has brought me more than I asked for, more than I expected, and more than I deserve.
What a delight this year is,
Madelyn