Hey y’all, Gretchen here, and I am so thrilled to be writing this blog! Reading the old Fellows’ blogs is what showed me the heart of this program, and I’m so glad I get to leave my mark here for future Fellows to read as well. Some quick facts about me: I take a lot of naps, I have a cat named Smokey, my favorite color is green, and I’m from Mississippi. Now, onto the blog…
If there’s one constant thought I have had during my first month in Raleigh, it is, “What am I doing here?” A couple more-accurate-to-my-feelings questions would be “what did I just do” or “did I really just move 12 hours away from home?”
All valid questions.
You see, moving a couple of states over and not doing research on the city you’re moving to really sets the stage for sheer confusion and disorientation when actually arriving at said city. I have no clue where I am, no knowledge of the city’s culture, severely lacking in cozy coffee shop locations, constantly surrounded by strangers, etc. The short of it: I feel out of place.
The cool part is, I’m learning to be okay with that.
I automatically have to rely on people around me, something that’s always been hard for me. I also have to trust God a lot more as well. Trust that the relationship with the people with those around me will deepen. Trust that someday I will get to work and back without Google Maps. Trust that I already have a place in this world, it’s not something I can find for myself. Trust that I’ll find a rhythm to the life I find myself in, and be thankful for the changes that come my way.
So, in closing, I’m going to rejoice in my inadequacies. I get to be weak, which in turn makes me strong (thanks Paul). And that’s really cool.
Gretchen