Hello my lovely readers,
My dearest apologies for taking a break from the blog last month. No excuses here, I truly was just so busy and overwhelmed I didn’t have the capacity to sit down and give my blog post the attention it deserved. I was traveling almost every weekend for retreats, weddings, visiting JMU friends, CWR retreats (it was such a busy few months). So here I am doing a double feature! We will be covering the months of February and March all in one blog!! Thanks for your patience, understanding, grace, and love towards me. Fellows has been one of the best experiences of my life, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been hard, had its low points, and been absolutely exhausting. All that being said let’s get into what the past couple months have looked like for me here in Raleigh, NC.
P.S., note from the author, quick interjection here, whatever you want to call it: I hope that in addition to updating my friends and family about my fellows experience through these blogs, this platform can also be for my person reflection in looking back to my months in fellows and remembering what I learned, what was hard, how I grew, and all the blessings that God brought to me. Thanks <3
February and March were all things lent!!! Apostles did an Ash Wednesday service which was my first time participating in that tradition. It was so beautiful and unique to start the season of lent in a very intentional way. Posturing my heart properly in expectation and waiting for the celebration of Easter to come!
In these past few months, my family sold my childhood home. The home I grew up in, the home I was baptized in, the place of all my firsts– first steps, first friends, first failures, first dates, first struggles. My childhood home was a beautiful picture of family and love. I feel blessed to have a family that supported one another so well. We played together in the backyard, had grill nights on the back porch, danced in living room, cried together at the kitchen table. It was the home that taught me to be a loyal friend, to notice the outcast, to play outside, to love others well. I am so grateful to God for blessing my family with 23 amazing years in our house on Brentmoor Drive. It is the hardest goodbye to leave a space tied to so much formation of who I am today. I hurt and I grieve the childhood that is tied to that house, but I know with hard goodbyes comes even brighter futures. How gracious God is to me to have blessed me to have the chance to grow up in a safe neighborhood where I walked to school, played on the playground, fished by the lake, road bikes with friends, had neighborhood Christmas parties, and shared in deep community for so many years. With any and all transition there is a variety of emotion. I have excitement and hopefulness for the future. For my parents next steps in their new home (I am so proud of you both and am thankful for everything you’ve provided me mom & dad), for my brother Tucker as he also processes this move while being in college, and for my next steps here in Raleigh. As my close family and friends, I ask that you would pray for my transition into full independence. Pray for resiliency, for guidance, for God’s provision, comfort, peace to overwhlem my life. Now more than ever, I depend on the Lord for security, provision, a job, housing, and a place to belong. God has called me to Raleigh and for that, I will be obedient to listen.
Many new lessons were learned here in Raleigh in the past couple of months but one phrase that kept surfacing for me was, “Flowers only grow once they’ve tasted rain.” This is a lyric from a song by one of my favorite artists, Chris Renzema. I’ve been reflecting a lot on what that means for my season of life right now. Flowers need water to grow. They are thirsty and in need of nourishment. Water is how flowers grow to flourish and bloom. Rain is something that is usually seen as a negative. It raining on a wedding day, raining prevents people from being outside, rain ruins days with dark storm clouds. The analogy here is that we are the flowers and the rain is the challenges of life, the struggles, the hard things. The point is that we cannot grow into who God is calling us to be– beautiful, bountiful, flourishing humans until we’ve tasted rain. Experiencing hardship is a part of life, but with that downpour we get the chance to grow. God is with us in all of it. Tending to our soil, giving us a place to let our roots go deep, checking on us, providing us with good nutrients and water to grow. So here I am God, I am yours and I am learning to grow with you.
Things to know:
Sprained ankles are no joke! oops! (pt friends pls send me recs)
I turned 23 in silence (shout out silent retreat!)
I think I should become a Sola ambassador
I recorded my first podcast as a guest with Mission Triangle
The pollen hit Raleigh like a bus, but the flowers here are SO pretty!
I did get to say goodbye to the house before the move was made official (I am so grateful for that time and hope to have more closure in this process)
February & March REPORT:
R- I’m reading How (not) to be secular by James Smith and Thessalonians & Psalms
E- I’m eating brown sugar oatmeal square cereal !!
P- I’m playing not much since I gave up music for lent (pls send me new music recs)
O- I’m obsessed with my adidas gazelle shoes
R- I recommend living with a host family (shout out The Patel Family)
T- I’m treating myself by sitting outside in the sunshine
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”
– Ecclesiastes 3:1
With all the love, Maddie Roberts
