Hello Raleigh!!

Howdy, Blog!

This is Bryan here, and I’m a brand new fellow typing this from the Crutchfield residence. They’re my host family, and it has been super fun to live here! We chat for way too long at night (totally worth losing sleep to chat), enjoy drinking water together (hydrate or diedrate), and hosting all the other fellows on Wednesday nights.

Our first week was the welcome retreat. While it was a recent experience, it feels like forever ago! I had a great time getting to know all of the other fellows, and an even greater time on the jet skis. Josh and I tried to catch a catfish overnight, but apparently they were all full from dinner. The welcome retreat was a wonderful time to learn more about what it looks like to be a fellow as well as gauging the vibes of our class (better vibes than all the previous classes of course). We had lots of fun, lots of meals, and spent lots of time learning about each other.

While retreats are fun, part of fellows is working at an internship (ooh how professional of us). I have the privilege of interning at Neighbor to Neighbor, where I spend my time professionally playing with kids! In reality, Neighbor to Neighbor is an amazing organization with a wonderful website that explains what they do. I spend my time there building relationships with the kids, driving them to and from Neighbor to Neighbor in a sick 15 passenger van, helping grow their teen leader program, and a lot of other cool tasks. I did not expect to play such a large role in an internship, but I am very excited that I will get to grow while working there while hopefully helping them grow as well. This will be a fantastic place to advance God’s kingdom in the workplace.

So far, I have loved being a Raleigh Fellow. After only a few classes, I am already more excited for them than I was to take Salsa Dancing 1000 at Clemson! We have been sharing testimonies throughout our time here, and it has been beautiful to see the stories that God is telling through all of our lives. I am very grateful to have heard about the program, and am so very excited to see where it takes all of us!

Tootles!

Bryan Polk

Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye

Heyyyyy Blog, 

For my last blog post, I wanted to thank a few people who have made this year as formative as it was. First our teachers and the time that they each put into our classes this year, the Fellows Committee and all of the hard work and planning that they put into making our year run smoothly even before most of us moved to Raleigh, all the parents and loved ones who supported us both financially and emotionally/physically us this year, and finally a thank you to Ashley and Sam who we truly couldn’t do the program without. Their hospitality, intentionality, and care for us and all those before us is something that I can speak for all the Fellows in saying we are truly so thankful. There’s not really an “on-the-clock” when you have Ashley’s role as she truly is there for us at all hours and goes above and beyond the expectations of a director. 

Now, I’ll say a little more about my personal experience this past year and a few things I’ll take away. To start for those who don’t know, my plan in the Spring of last year was to go to grad school for Occupational Therapy, I was like yeah that’s where I’ll be and that’s what I’m doing. But, I ended up getting waitlisted from my top schools and made the difficult decision to put a pause on grad school. So, I started thinking about potential “gap year” options and I had a friend doing the Greensboro Fellows Program and so, I took a deep dive into researching the different programs and loved what Raleigh had to offer and really knew I wanted to be here after interviewing with Meg and Taylor and talking to Ashley on the phone. 

Something that has been really cool and definitely a God-sighting for the year is how the Lord still led me back to OT and now I’ll be going to the school I wanted to go to last fall/spring. It was like God said not yet. 

With that not yet, I was able to see through the career and calling retreat along with other personality assessments and gift-based assessments in addition to the encouragement from the other Fellows and Ashley that the gifts I possess align with that of an occupational therapist. That passion was reaffirmed.

With that not yet, I was able to work at Refugee Hope Partners and find that I have a passion for working with Refugee families and will hopefully return to that post-grad school. 

With that not yet, I have had an incredible host family experience. I’ve had the opportunity to see how Robin and David’s marriage is a beautiful representation of the Gospel and how Christ loves the church. They have both supported me in various ways throughout the year such as Robin staying up with me until after midnight to edit my grad school essays and David bringing me back cinnamon rolls from different work trips because he knows they’re my favorite. Always waking up with freshly brewed coffee with enough for me to drink, that will be missed. Endless conversations where Robin has been so patient to listen to the hard and the good and offer me support in any way she could. She’s always eager to hear about my day and almost always ends our conversations by asking if there’s anything she can do for me. I have felt an immense amount of support and encouragement from these two. They both have gone above and beyond the requirements of providing a place to lay my head and making sure there are groceries for me and I could never express all of my gratitude when seeing how God so perfectly intertwined our lives, I’d be here all night. 

With that not yet, I got to meet my mentor Rebecca. She is encouraging, thoughtful, intentional, wise, and a wonderful friend. Rebecca never made it seem like mentoring was something she signed up for and had to do, but that it was something she enjoyed doing and wanted to support and care for me as best as she could. I’m so grateful for that relationship.

With that not yet, I had Mallory as my Fellows buddy who has been an encourager and someone I could go to with Fellows questions since the beginning.

With that not yet, I got to start therapy and work on becoming a better version of myself, prioritizing my mental health and improving my well-being. 

With that not yet, I have been able to learn so much through the wisdom of our teachers and the different retreats we have had the opportunity to go on, my Fellows journal is FULL of takeaways!

And with that not yet, I have had the opportunity to do this program where I met some incredible strangers who very quickly became some of my best friends. The ways in which this group is able to go from silly/goofy whether that’s doing a spontaneous cake walk at round table or breaking out into song at any moment to deep and vulnerable conversations is beautiful and something I really look for in friendships. Despite having 7 girls and 2 boys, this group never felt exclusive or split, and I really feel like we all loved one another well and acted as a unit. Meg, Linda May, Gabi, Gretchen, Maddie, Virginia, Bunner, Simas, and Ashley, you have grown to become some of my best friends and are people I know will be in my life far past this year, thank you. This year I have had the chance to make Raleigh a forever home, and somewhere I will always want to return to, so, don’t worry. I’ll be back. 

Thank you for being a part of this journey with me!

Peace and Love, 

Girl Hunter 💕🤠✨🪩

Thank you, Raleigh!

Wow, here we are. We've reached the end of this incredible journey. It's hard to believe how much I've grown and learned in this past year. I'm deeply grateful to the Lord and to each one of you who has been a part of my journey, shaping me into the person I am today. 

With our blog posts, we give everyone a glimpse into what life as a Fellow is like. The program has been a transformative experience, pushing me to my limits and helping me discover new strengths. Truly, our words cannot explain the depth of what happens and the moments we get to share in our program. We have gotten to spend nine months living life so closely to lifelong friends, whom I could not even imagine this time last year. 

So, instead of a more traditional blog post, I want to share a quick snippet of what I have learned from each person who helped make up my home in Raleigh. 

• Bunner: Bunner has an eye for the little things. Through him, I have learned how small questions matter. He values what you value and welcomes his friends into a true community.

• Gabi: Gabi has taught me how fun life can be! You can laugh, be silly, and enjoy challenging and good moments. Gabi has modeled to me the steadfast loyalty of a friend and brings beauty to all she does. 

• Gretchen: Gretchen is fierce. She has shown me protective love and consistency. She is steady and reliable, empowering others to do the same and stand their ground for their people.

• Hunter: Hunter is adventurous. She has shown me what it looks like to try new things bravely, to walk humbly with the Lord, and to be a connector. Hunter is like glue. She brings people together and inspires others to rise to her strong character.

• Maddie: Maddie is the ideal Fellow. She has set a strong example of what it looks like to be a committed, hardworking, vulnerable, and willing Fellow in this program. She is someone I can look to for direction in moments of difficulty or confusion. 

• Meg: Meg is locked in. When she brings herself into space, she is wholly committed to her people. She holds a lot of love for a lot of people and makes you feel at home in her presence. 

• Simas: Simas is the best companion. He has shown our group what selfless service looks like, has a keen ear, is understanding, and desires to grow and learn with our group.

• Virginia: Virginia is one of a kind! Once she is in your corner, she is there forever! She is a friend who displays the love of Christ and does not let go of you, walking with you in every moment. 

I am incredibly thankful to have been a Raleigh Fellow. This year has been one of immense personal growth and learning, and I am excited to take these experiences with me as I embark on my future endeavors. For every person who made this year one I will never forget, I thank you sincerely. 

Goodbye, Raleigh! I can’t wait for when we meet again. 

All of my love,

Linda May

Fello No Mo

Hello again, one last time my dear friends. It’s me, Simas.

Crazy to think that the year is over, and that myself and my 8 besties are fellows no longer. These past 9 months have been an absolute whirlwind in the best way. It has been such a gift to be a part of this wonderful program that Apostles hosts for us.

Today I want to take a moment to appreciate a couple of my favorite parts of the program, and what I’m excited to apply to my life this next year.

Firstly I really appreciated the way that we were connected to the church in multiple ways; leading student ministy, our adult mentors, classes with members from the church/church staff, serving on Sundays, and our mens/womens retreats. This has been an amazing and new experience to be connected in the church in multiple capacities. This really leads to a cohesive church experience in that is more interconnected and gives space to build relationships and obtain wisdom from older members of the church. My time at Apostles this year has really redeemed my view of Church as the Body of Christ, and the importance it holds.

I really appreciated the classes this year. There was so much practical wisdom surrounding things like money, the Old and New Testaments, justice, philosophies, family systems, how to deductively read scripture, and more. Much of this wisdom will be so important and useful to me as I step into the working world, and begin living with the least structure I will have ever had in my life. These classes not only taught me loads of practical wisdom, but also offered explanation of how Jesus shows up in all this wisdom, and what his heart for us in in this life. I was introduced to multiple new spiritual practices to interact with the Holy Spirt, reminded of the truth of who God is, and pushed to understand deeply that I am Jesus’ beloved.

I’m so thankful for this wonderful time as a Raleigh Fellow, but look forward with great excitement for the future. This year has prepared me so well to meet the challenges of adult life, and to do it with the Spirit by my side. I am grateful to be “starting well” in my adult life, thanks to my time here as a Fellow. I’m expectant for how Christ will move as I transition to living, working, playing, giving, serving, and more, all still here in Raleigh.

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT

Signing off,

-William Simas

Where's her blog?

I’m not even gonna comment on how late this is. Actually, I am.

I think it took me a minute this blog because I had no clue what to write. Life feels like a blur and in fear of saying the same thing again and again for my blog, I’m going to focus on one thing I did in March: I hiked in the woods, off a path, to find a little pond and some peace.

I realize that I don’t really give off hiker girl vibes, trust me I get it, but when I was a kid, I spent so, so much time running around the woods near a creek in my neighborhood. Walking through the woods was a return to a beloved childhood pastime, a reminder of the wonder at the world you’re seeing for the first time, the peace of wandering that I don’t get to do much anymore. This little journey happened at the retreat center we visited for our silent retreat, back in the woods behind the main hall. The beauty of that place I can’t capture in words, but rest assured that peace seeps in that place. It was an incredible gift to spend time there, and to get to wander with God. I highly recommend trying it out, even if you can’t make it to St. Francis yourself (wander responsibly!).

Blessings,

Gretchen

Were you silent? Or were you sileNCED?

March was an crazy busy month, so let me type this blog using bullet points:

• CAROLINA COCKTAIL - MARCH 1ST

  SOOO much fun! I love an excuse to dress up and dance with my friends <3

• SILENT RETREAT - MARCH 2-4

  My favorite retreat ever. I was not anticipating enjoying this retreat whatsoever. But gosh did I LOVE it. As someone who is a certified yapper and loves their screentime, this was a challenging retreat, but I really needed that solitude time with Jesus. I was able to talk to God for hours, journal, go on a walk, snap some pics with my disposable camera, and nap. Take me back to St.Francis soon, please!

• SUNRISE PICNIC - MARCH 16TH

  So sweet, so fun. Ask me about the swings at Dorthea Dix Park

• BUILD A BEAR W THE 6TH GRADERS - MARCH 17TH

  For the small group breakout for youth ministry, the 6th graders along with me, Maddy Ritter, and Virginia went to Build a Bear Workshop. My bear was in fact the most expensive, sorry Liz and Hayes. We had the best time…. I think the leaders might have had more fun than the kids, who’s to say?

• DYED MY HAIR DARK BROWN - MARCH 18TH

• UNC STUDY CENTER - MARCH 22ND

  A sweet time getting to tour UNC with everyone and eat at Sutton’s! Go pack tho

• EASTER - MARCH 31ST

  I went home for Easter break and was able to go to my home church with my family Saturday night. My mom came to Apostles with me on Sunday morning and got to meet so many of my new friends! I <3 Apostles!

March was a busy month, but an amazing month. Here’s to the second half of April.

xoxo,

Gabi

Welcome to Normal Time

This is the time of year when we Fellows enter our "normal time". Now, what does that mean? What happens when you pause on retreats, travel, and more of the high-speed movement? You enter the Fellows's casual/regular time zone B-). 

Well, I will tell you, March was lovely! It snuck up on me quickly, and I was surprised that normalcy could move quickly. This month was a time to settle and feel confident in the new routine that I have been slowly learning throughout my time in Raleigh as a fellow. 

Let me share some of my highlight reel moments from this month... 

1. The Apostles' Easter Egg Hunt: I loved participating in the Easter egg planning for the kiddos. Being in the Children's Ministry this year with my job through Fellows has been such a gift. This event felt like a moment when everything really began to click! The fruit of relationship building came to light. 

2. A Pi-Day Baliage: To celebrate Pi Day, I got my hair done! It was such a fun treat. Plus, the next day, my friend Gabi got her hair dyed (the iconic dark roots are back!), and I and Virginia got to go on a fun surprise visit to see her new doo. 

3. Making Meals: Well, speaking of Virginia, I had such a fun time making meals for Roundtable with her! This was a sweet time to build our teamwork, make some memories, and have good laughs together. 

4. Synod: What a treat it was to be a part of Synod! Synod is a time when all of the church's members get together, and this year, the Apostles are invited to host the gathering. I loved being able to witness something like this that I had never seen before and to play on the music team during worship! 

5. Wedding Planning: Of course, I had to remember to add in wedding planning! I will not lie, that also takes a large amount of my brain space. What I especially loved, though, was being able to have my bachelorette party where all of my worlds could collide. It was so fun introducing friends to one another and having the Raleigh Fellows gals be part of such a special weekend. I am so thankful for it all!

Overall, I have loved this so-called "normal" period in our Fellows' year. It has been time to stop and look around me and notice how deep the roots of the community are and the sense of belonging that my home in Raleigh has. I have loved you, March! Thank you for all of the memories!

Love, Linda May

March: Meditative, Mindful, Memorable, Meaningful

Heyyyyy Blog, 

When looking back on pictures in my camera roll from this past month like I always do when writing my blogs, I honestly forgot how jam-packed March was! 

We started the month on the Silent Retreat which ended up being one my favorite this year! We went to St. Frances Retreat Center, which was beautiful and so peaceful and truly meditative 😌. During my 24 hours of silence, I got to wander around the property and walk on the trails in the woods, read, REST, journal, and spend time in prayer and silence with the Lord. I left this retreat feeling rejuvenated and so grateful for the year God has given me through Fellows and the things that He has taught me!

A big part of March was getting to experience Lent as that had not been something the churches I had previously gone to had as heavily emphasized. For Lent, I decided to fast Instagram and TikTok and it ended up being something I really didn’t miss until right at the end. In giving those things up, I was able to spend my nights journaling, reading, and praying instead and creating time to be mindful and reflect on my day and the moments in which I saw God’s provision and presence. It helped me to create a better nighttime routine of less screen time, which has been great 🤩!

During this month, some of my best friends from UNC came to Raleigh for a weekend and I took them to my favorite coffee shops, drove them around downtown, introduced them to the Fellows, played games, and it was so sweet. I also hung out with a few of my other college friends throughout the month and took a trip to Pennsylvania to spend Easter weekend with some of my other best friends, which was super sweet and memorable. March was truly the month of catching up with friends 💖!

March was meaningful for the reasons I spoke on, but also all of the ones mentioned in the “Key Moments”. I can’t believe we have reached April. Time, slow down😭!!!

Peace and Love, 

Girl Hunter 💕🤠✨🪩

Key Moments: Fellows Prom💃🏻, Maddie’s birthday, Silent Retreat, Shark Tank, UNC besties came to Raleigh, UNC beat Duke🥳 (rushed Franklin), March Madness, Quick trip to Benson (some fellows met my mom), Sunrise picnic at Dorothea Dix, Went to the UNC Study Center for a class/gave Fellows a quick Chapel Hill tour, Coffee dates with college friends, Trip to PA to see my besties for Easter🫶🏼

Flowers only grow once they've tasted rain

Hello my lovely readers, 

My dearest apologies for taking a break from the blog last month. No excuses here, I truly was just so busy and overwhelmed I didn’t have the capacity to sit down and give my blog post the attention it deserved. I was traveling almost every weekend for retreats, weddings, visiting JMU friends, CWR retreats (it was such a busy few months). So here I am doing a double feature! We will be covering the months of February and March all in one blog!! Thanks for your patience, understanding, grace, and love towards me. Fellows has been one of the best experiences of my life, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been hard, had its low points, and been absolutely exhausting. All that being said let’s get into what the past couple months have looked like for me here in Raleigh, NC.

P.S., note from the author, quick interjection here, whatever you want to call it: I hope that in addition to updating my friends and family about my fellows experience through these blogs, this platform can also be for my person reflection in looking back to my months in fellows and remembering what I learned, what was hard, how I grew, and all the blessings that God brought to me. Thanks <3 

February and March were all things lent!!! Apostles did an Ash Wednesday service which was my first time participating in that tradition. It was so beautiful and unique to start the season of lent in a very intentional way. Posturing my heart properly in expectation and waiting for the celebration of Easter to come! 

In these past few months, my family sold my childhood home. The home I grew up in, the home I was baptized in, the place of all my firsts– first steps, first friends, first failures, first dates, first struggles. My childhood home was a beautiful picture of family and love. I feel blessed to have a family that supported one another so well. We played together in the backyard, had grill nights on the back porch, danced in living room, cried together at the kitchen table. It was the home that taught me to be a loyal friend, to notice the outcast, to play outside, to love others well. I am so grateful to God for blessing my family with 23 amazing years in our house on Brentmoor Drive. It is the hardest goodbye to leave a space tied to so much formation of who I am today. I hurt and I grieve the childhood that is tied to that house, but I know with hard goodbyes comes even brighter futures. How gracious God is to me to have blessed me to have the chance to grow up in a safe neighborhood where I walked to school, played on the playground, fished by the lake, road bikes with friends, had neighborhood Christmas parties, and shared in deep community for so many years. With any and all transition there is a variety of emotion. I have excitement and hopefulness for the future. For my parents next steps in their new home (I am so proud of you both and am thankful for everything you’ve provided me mom & dad), for my brother Tucker as he also processes this move while being in college, and for my next steps here in Raleigh. As my close family and friends, I ask that you would pray for my transition into full independence. Pray for resiliency, for guidance, for God’s provision, comfort, peace to overwhlem my life. Now more than ever, I depend on the Lord for security, provision, a job, housing, and a place to belong. God has called me to Raleigh and for that, I will be obedient to listen. 

Many new lessons were learned here in Raleigh in the past couple of months but one phrase that kept surfacing for me was, “Flowers only grow once they’ve tasted rain.” This is a lyric from a song by one of my favorite artists, Chris Renzema. I’ve been reflecting a lot on what that means for my season of life right now. Flowers need water to grow. They are thirsty and in need of nourishment. Water is how flowers grow to flourish and bloom. Rain is something that is usually seen as a negative. It raining on a wedding day, raining prevents people from being outside, rain ruins days with dark storm clouds. The analogy here is that we are the flowers and the rain is the challenges of life, the struggles, the hard things. The point is that we cannot grow into who God is calling us to be– beautiful, bountiful, flourishing humans until we’ve tasted rain. Experiencing hardship is a part of life, but with that downpour we get the chance to grow. God is with us in all of it. Tending to our soil, giving us a place to let our roots go deep, checking on us, providing us with good nutrients and water to grow. So here I am God, I am yours and I am learning to grow with you. 

Things to know:

1. Sprained ankles are no joke! oops! (pt friends pls send me recs)

2. I turned 23 in silence (shout out silent retreat!)

3. I think I should become a Sola ambassador 

4. I recorded my first podcast as a guest with Mission Triangle

5. The pollen hit Raleigh like a bus, but the flowers here are SO pretty!

6. I did get to say goodbye to the house before the move was made official (I am so grateful for that time and hope to have more closure in this process)

February & March REPORT: 

R- I’m reading How (not) to be secular by James Smith and Thessalonians & Psalms 

E- I’m eating brown sugar oatmeal square cereal !!

P- I’m playing not much since I gave up music for lent (pls send me new music recs)

O- I’m obsessed with my adidas gazelle shoes

R- I recommend living with a host family (shout out The Patel Family) 

T- I’m treating myself by sitting outside in the sunshine

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” 

– Ecclesiastes 3:1

With all the love, Maddie Roberts

Oh how I love March Madness...and yet...

Fun fact about me is I love all things sports. When it comes to the month of March, I especially love sports. There is simply nothing better than watching college basketball when it’s tournament time. When I tell you, my entire schedule shifts around this tournament, I mean it. As a die-hard UNC fan, this is my favorite time of year. When the bracket comes out, I don’t care what seed we are, I have every bit of hope and faith that this is our year. Is it realistic? Sometimes. Does it usually work out that way? No. Yet I put the same amount of trust in the Heels year after year to take home the championship. This is what I love about college basketball. It doesn’t really matter what seed you’re ranked because anyone can win the tournament. Two years ago, St. Peters, a small school from New Jersey ranked as a 15 seed, made a shocking run to get to the elite eight. THIS IS WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT. And as much as I really don’t want to talk about it (or even like it), the Wolfpack are on a crazy run right now. It hurts me to think this wouldn’t even be possible if UNC had beaten them in the ACC Championship. This is the other thing about March Madness. You can have all this built-up excitement and hope for your team and in an instant, it can all crumble. Was I worried UNC was gonna have a tough loss to Alabama? No, not even a little. Yet, here we are waiting for next March so the Heels can bounce back even better and more prepared. 

Why am I talking about this so much? 

For one, it gets me so pumped, and honestly, I’ll take any chance to talk sports/UNC basketball.

But in all seriousness, March Madness is a beautiful example of the hope we place in the things that cannot and will not sustain us. I know that’s a silly (and slightly cheesy) example but it’s true! Year after year, I put hope in this thing that ALWAYS leaves me feeling dissatisfied. Even when your team wins a championship (as awesome as it is and will continue to be), it’s back to square one the next year.

In this month leading up to Easter, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the areas or things in my life in which I place a lot of hope. I recognize the ways I continue to fall short and place hope in the things of this world, things that aren’t meant to satisfy but rather point to the One who does satisfy. By God’s grace, we get to experience His good gifts (one being college basketball of course) but even better, a relationship with our Heavenly Father… the One who doesn’t turn away when we fail but extends mercy and love so that we may know Him and have real LIFE and JOY!

THAT is someone worth putting hope in!

I’ll leave you with a quote that does a better job of summing up what I’ve been trying to articulate:

“Our souls long to be filled, long to be loved, and long to be known. Therefore our lives are one continuous movement in the direction of our deepest longings. The problem is that we tend to stop too soon, too near the surface. When we taste something that tastes good to our souls, we assume that it is what our souls were made to be filled with. And so we go charging off in the direction of that person, or that thing, or that experience, trying to extract something from them (or it) that they were never intended-or able- to fully give us. C.S. Lewis said it so well when he said that these things or people or experiences “are only a scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never visited.” In other words, the deepest most wonderful things of this life were never intended to fully satisfy us, but to point us toward God.” -Jim Branch

May He bless and keep you,

Meg

My bad y'all, dropped the ball real hard on this one

Blog, what it do baby!

Okay, so I’ve been slacking, big time, and that’s on me. I say we just summarize the last two months, quickly so as not to procrastinate any longer, let’s jump in eh!

Everything is blurred together as far as what month was what so I’m just gonna blend it all together because holy crap February feels like forever ago which is absolutely insane to think about and time is flying by!

Some highlights/what I can remember after looking at my calendar:

• Gretchen BDAY!!!

• Went to a KPOT place and absolutely destroyed some food! Was so good!!!

• Career calling and vocational retreat!

• Went into this kinda dreading it, had heard that it was painful and exhausting and times and you know at times it could be but like in the best way possible.

• Cameron flew up from Atlanta and spent the weekend with us and he was fantastic! He was so insightful and this became one of my favorite retreats I have had and I’m so grateful for his time with us

• First Ash Wednesday service!

• Had no idea what to expect (besides getting ash put on my forehead), but every part of it was great! Apostles has really opened my eyes to celebrating, honoring the Lord, and reflecting on my own life with Christ in many ways

• The Lake!

• Holy crap! We went to the lake literally every other weekend, for 6 weeks!

• The most recent one was a chill one but such a great one! Got to hang with those of us that came to the lake, some new CNU friends and some new State friends!

• The Olympics got put on and we each got split up and team Bad, Blonde and Beautiful had some miraculous comebacks to make it to the finals where sadly we fumbled the bag but successfully were the most annoying and fun throughout the games!

• Simas half bday, Neils real bday, and playing with Walter the snake

• Simas’s bday is in August but we won't all be around to celebrate him so we decided to throw him a half-ish bday, got some Chuy’s, then went to Bowstring for Neil’s actual bday and hung out with some fellow alumni and this girl at the bar had a snake named Walter, he was pretty neat

• Maddie BDay/Carolina Cocktail/Silent Retreat

• This one is alot because it quite literally all happened in a span of four days

• Maddie’s bday was the weekend of the Silent retreat and we sadly couldn’t really celebrate her that weekend but did celebrate her a little bit before we left; went to LBC and go to hang with Megan Wu who came down for Maddie’s bday

• Drove to Charlotte for the Carolina Cocktail (Prom) party, was a blast, got to see my Dalton from the VB fellows

• Drove up the next day to the Winston-Salem area for the silent retreat. Place was so peaceful and such a good time to spend in silence, reflect upon the Lord and just relax for a day or two.

• Honestly everything after this is a straight up blur, like I know things have been done but there is like a two week gap where I have no idea what we did during the week or on the weekends so I’m gonna ramble about things and they’ll definitely be out of order

• Gym/Running: Being consistent in the gym the last few months has paid off well, March has definitely been hard with being consistent but that’s life

• March Madness: Go Dukes! Go Pack! Been a good year to be a Dukes fan in all sports! Proud of them for making it as far as they did in the tournament, got clapped by Duke but we at least made it to the second round which is a dub! Go Pack, Girl Hunter doesn’t believe I’ve been a Pack fan since I’ve been down here but I have been, crazy time for the and uber exciting

• Warm weather: Enjoyed the warm weather a number of times with going on runs, playing volleyball, spikeball, pickleball and hopefully more to come!

• Harry Potter: This goes back to February, but not all of us have seen Harry Potter and so we’ve been going through them and it’s been fun getting to watch them again

• Lead roundtable: went over, BRIEFLY, church history and all Christian denominations, Ima be real thoe, it was so brief and I bit off way more than I could chew and twas just a lot of information

• Parents came to visit: Was fun getting to drive them around Raleigh all day and get to introduce them to so many people I love and care for down here!

• Went home for Easter and got to see my Parents two weekends in a row which was uber special!

The least fun thing I’ve been doing for the last two months now… Job applications: I am incredibly exhausted from applying just about every single day. I can’t wait to just find something, quite literally anything at this point, so I can end this stress and exhaustion. I know I’m in the ballpark of around 150+ applications turned in at this point, I used to have a spreadsheet but I gave up on that a longgggg time ago. I have my first in person interview this Friday so fingers crossed it pans out, would love to not have to go through this process again for at least a few years, if not more…sigh

All in all, the last few months have been so great! I’m so thankful for my time down here and sad that it is getting close to an end, but very excited for what the Lord has in store in Richmond after this!

-Chai Boi, Bunner Bunah Super Scrub Biestrath

Time slow down!!!

February was a whirlwind. Somehow I blinked and it’s already MID-MARCH!! How?!?!

So much was packed into February and I know there’s no way for me to fit it all in on a single blog post!

Here’s a few that stand out…

• Career-Calling Retreat: I’ll be honest, I was not excited about this retreat in the slightest. As someone who has no idea what she wants to do for a career, the anticipation of an entire retreat where this was the subject was something to dread. BUT, little did I know this retreat would provide more rest and peace on the other end of it. Rest in the sense that the fellows truly had quality time with one another. Just reading the other blogs so far, you can assume this time was full of laughter, movies, and games. Peace in the sense that my perspective was opened to God’s intentionality in giving me specific gifts and being the author of my future and the work He’s preparing me for.

• GALENTINES: We had two incredibly sweet and tender Galentines events. First, Beth Finneran opened her house to the girl fellows to eat charcuterie and make cute Valentine cards and crafts. Second, youth hosted a Galentine's event for the girls to dress up and have dinner served to us by the boys.

• A weekend of fun at Docksology: Some of the fellows spent the weekend at Docksology with new friends playing ALLL the games! We even had a little competition called the Lake Olympics that ended with an egg toss. It was intense.

• Women’s Retreat: Speaking of the girls, we had the most amazing retreat with the women of Apostles in Wilmington. This had to be one of my favorite retreats. It was such a special opportunity to connect with women I hadn’t met yet from the church, be challenged and encouraged by them, take walks on the beach, and break it down on the dance floor with an EPIC silent disco!

• Genogram papers: We’ve been working on Genogram papers about our families’ history, dynamics, and systems. It was quite the process but we all finally finished! It forced me to engage in hard and honest conversations with family members but also made space for really thoughtful and special conversations. I’m really thankful for the assignment and our Family Systems class with Laura Love (she’s awesome!)

This is only scratching the surface of all that happened this month. While this month was one of my favorites, I’m definitely ready to slow down and spend (a little) more time in Raleigh in March.  I guess we’re already almost halfway through March at this point but oh well, still holds true.

Ohh how I love the month of March. Can’t wait to tell you why in my next blog:)

May He bless and keep you,

Meg

an extra day of love month!

In honor of leap year and having 29 days of February days, I’m listing 29 things I loved as a fellow this past month. 

1. Career Calling Vocation Retreat. We were beautifully led by our King, Cameron through the theology of work, our analysis of abilities, motivations, and EQ. Thanks, King Cameron for jumping into all our shenanigans that week. 

2. Shenanigans mentioned above: watching Divergent at the Career calling vocation retreat and having a legitimate voting and faction reveal ceremony. Linda May is our only divergent, but who is surprised? 

3. Beth Finneran hosting the cutest Galentine’s night for us. She is the coolest! we crafted our hearts out and ate charcuterie. Oh, how I love being a woman! 

4. My sweet fellows are all playing cupid and bringing me little valentines from my long-distance boyfriend for the week leading up to Valentine's! 

5.  a spontaneous trip to Docksology. thankful for the Crutchfield’s hospitality and generosity with their home! 

6. Bunner wore a chicken wing shirt to church. He’s trying to “change the culture”.  

7. A relaxing weekend of dog-sitting for a co-worker

8. binging John Mark Comer’s Podcast recommended by Ashley

9. finishing our family systems theory class strong with our final genogram papers! 

10. Matt Young taught a class on generosity and gave us many words of wisdom! 

11. Valentine-themed roundtable. linda may had the great idea that we all go around and tell the story of our first crush and how we professed our feelings. 

12. Ash Wednesday service 

13. getting a sweet treat from my host family on valentines Day :) 

14.  youth group Galentines night - everyone dressed up and the guys in the youth group served the girls dinner and dessert! It was super sweet. 

15. Instead of RT for one week, simas and Gabi cooked a delicious salmon meal for our class and we watched Harry Potter! 

16. We surprised Simas with a happy-half-bday-a-few-weeks-late chuey’s dinner. He never saw it coming! 

17. simas was so excited about his half-birthday surprise he even did a cartwheel after dinner. 

18. Simas, Maddie, and I rode in the back of Bunner’s truck to celebrate Neil’s birthday 

19. WOMEN’S RETREAT! This was a treat. Thank God for a weekend on the beach, good teaching, women, and laughter!

20. specifically getting to Wilmington and seeing a beautiful rainbow over the ocean from the balcony of our hotel room. 

21. ^ exploring Wilmington with my girls. it was like spring break for adults! 

22. walks and coffee dates with my lovely mentor, Marilyn Young!

23. silent disco at the women’s retreat needs its own moment. Silent Disco should start paying our class for how much we endorse this activity. 

24. immerse! A beautiful time of worship at Apostles. 

25. leading my roundtable discussion on love languages and hearing about how my class loves each other

26. making one of my favorite food groups, greek pasta salad for my RT cooking night. 

27. celebrating Maddie’s birthday (part 1) at LBC! love you, Maddie. 

28. watching the Bachelor at Girl Hunter’s house! 

29. been enjoying our New Testament and Sermon on the Mount classes! thanks to the Walkers and Eric Bolash! 

    every day is a gift!

    - virginia

How much time is left?

Well guys, I am typically not the person that turns stuff in late… but here we are two months in a row. My deepest and most sincere apologies.

So, what have we been up to this month of February? Uhhh many, many things, as per usual. I think we went on approximately 3,000 retreats, so I am tired. Oh, so tired. But, with those retreats comes a deep time of fellowship, learning, and fun with the Fellows. We voted on what Factions (shoutout Divergent) each of us would be in (including our guest speaker, Cameron) during the Career, Calling, and Vocation retreat, had some delicious dinner at Bolash Cafe (shoutout Klaus!) and celebrated Simas’s half birthday… plus a couple days, amongst other good times.

A big struggle for me this month has been sadness. Although saying goodbye is still a few months off, I’ll catch myself thinking about what it’s going to be like to say goodbye to this community. I can’t imagine how I’m going to be able to do it, and the more I think about it, the more anxious I become. It will truly be hard to say goodbye. But, instead of focusing on my fears of leaving, I’ve been challenging myself to focus on the gift of time that I have left. Fun times like Paranoia at the Silent retreat, game nights, and time finishing homework at 7:30 before class because we all forgot. These are precious moments that I need to stand in the midst of, to enjoy and be present in.

Much apologies, and thankfulness,

Gretchen

Women are the coolest

Hey blog! Gibs here! Can I just say that this month was full of strong WOMEN?! As a Meredith College alumna, I think it’s fair to say that this month was Meredith strong, if you will.

I started off February strong with strep throat and a speeding ticket. Someone was praying on my downfall and they succeeded! But, I was an avenging angel and rose from the ashes and still ended up having a pretty great month. #blessed.

Despite my strep and speeding ticket (totally unfair by the way), the Career Calling Vocation Retreat was a huge win in my eyes. Our king, Cameron, really helped us see our strengths and helped us navigate what we’re looking for in a career. Update: I am torn between being a social worker and a hair stylist. A hairapist? We’ll see.

The best part of February was the Women’s Retreat! I met the most AMAZING women that weekend and felt so connected to the community at Apostles. I sat with the coolest women at my table which included: Lauren Mann, Allie Benson, Anne Parker Huret, Shannon Newby, Robbie Litke, Gretchen Bartholomew, and Virginia Lundeen. What a squad. To hear part of their stories and what they have to say was a huge blessing. I just think women are the absolute coolest. What would we do without them?

Another fun thing about February was BOLASH CAFE! I have heard tales about this event all year long and I FINALLY got to experience it! Kind of like any event at Meredith, I can’t explain it. You just have to experience it.

I wanted to add that along with really enjoying my job at Refugee Hope Partners, I really enjoy working with HUNTER DAVIS (aka Ms. Hunter). I have the privilege of sharing an “office” with her throughout the week and making Walmart trips every Thursday to get inventory for RHP. We share so many laughs and have the best time on the clock. I truly don’t know what I would do without her at work. All of my coworkers at RHP are amazing, but I would have to say that Hunter is my favorite.

February was a pretty cool month. Here’s to March!

xoxo,

Gabi

February: Fun, Faithful, Fantastic, Fortunate

Heyyyyy Blog, 

February started on a major high note with the Career Calling and Vocation Retreat with our king, Cameron 👑, who led us through the correlation of faith and work and how our gifts, desires, and opportunities intersect with these two ideas. This retreat was honestly just a lot of fun and I felt like we connected really well as a group and enjoyed our time with one another. We watched the Divergent movies and then proceeded to create a whole Divergent voting game in which we voted for which faction everyone belonged in. Only then to find out that Linda May is Divergent (no surprise there), and to create a new way of saying “ErUDitE” that we literally have not stopped talking about since then. We also played my new favorite game, telephone charades which had me peeing my pants it was so funny, but on that, I’ll just say you had to be there. Not only was the retreat a great bonding experience, but it was also a weekend of great clarity and reassurance. We had a session in which every fellow sat in the “hot seat” and we all had the opportunity to affirm one another in the vocational gifts and talents that we have seen, and for me, a lot of what I received were skills that related to occupational therapy. Then we had one-on-one sessions with Cameron where he went over the assessments we had to take before the retreat and my results also connected very well to occupational therapy or a career in the same field. After hearing these things I couldn’t help but see how God has been more than intentional and faithful in carving out my path. Like how cool that I get to go to grad school and do something that I am passionate about and have gifts for, but even more so how cool that I was able to do the Fellows Program along the way and learn more about who God has created me to be! Like he truly has been so good to me❤️. (Also, UNC beat Duke in their first basketball matchup of the season during that weekend, which was FANTASTIC, so all around, that was one of my favorite retreats🤩)!

This past month we also did a super fun Galentines with Beth Finneran who was the BEST host as we ate yummy snacks, made super cute Valentine’s Day Cards, and had some great girly chats💖. Later that week we also did a Galentine’s with student ministry which was a super sweet time to get to spend with the 10th grade girls that I help lead. While on the topic of girlies, I have been LOVING mentor time with Rebecca lately. She has just been the best and is a wonderful listener who cares for and encourages me so well and whom I have loved creating a relationship with this year. Also, the Women’s Retreat, which I could go on a rant about. Contentment, multigenerational, sunshine, Wilmington, and silent disco; that’s really all you need to know💃🏻! This past month I have felt incredibly fortunate for the women whom God has placed in my life through the Fellows program, like seriously, they’re awesome and I couldn’t be more grateful!!

Thank you, February, you’ve been good🫶🏼!

Peace and Love, 

Girl Hunter 💕🤠✨🪩

Key Moments: King Cameron, GTHD🥰, Galentines, Women’s Retreat, start of Lent, Lake Olympics, snake “wrangling”, Genogram and 360 Review completions👏🏼

The Sound of Silence

What do the dance party of the year and a squirrel have in common?

In the last two weeks of February, I experienced two extraordinary trips. First, when the (lady) Fellows went on Apostle’s women’s retreat, and then, the following weekend, when (all) Fellows traveled to St. Francis Prayer Center for the program’s yearly silent retreat.

These back-to-back weekend retreats felt so wildly different from one another. At the Women’s Retreat, I learned what it means to be content alongside many women of different ages and life experiences. It was an inter-generational opportunity where women could come together, glean from one another, and cherish each other’s unique perspectives. It was a space of encouragement, of Christ’s freedom, and a ground where the women of Apostles could feel deeply seen and heard. It was a weekend of laughter, playfulness, questioning, growth, and outrageous dancing.

The following weekend, as we walked into the atmosphere of St. Francis, it was like time was held still just for us. There was peace and deep-rooted and faithful prayer in every corner of the campus, and the Holy Spirit lingered. For the first time in my life, I stopped. I stopped talking, hurrying, doing, and producing, and instead, I just let out a long-held breath that had been bubbling inside me.

One weekend, I was dancing my heart out in a silent disco and sweating through my clothing from how hard I was shredding moves. The next, I sat in solitude on a bench with nothing else to do but watch the squirrels pass by, yet the Lord was deeply present with me in both experiences.

So, what do the dance party of the year and a squirrel have in common?

Holy Silence.

What I love about Jesus is that he is a God who loves us, and He likes us. He smiles and cherishes when we have a child-like playfulness, dancing crazily for His kingdom in a silent disco. But also, he gently refines our hearts and teaches us about the fullness of His presence when we sit in His presence through our silence and solitude.

In these moments of reflection, I am reminded of how Jesus is in every corner of our lives—in the crazy and the quiet, in the big and the small. He is a God who has enough time for us and can see the depth of our sin and brokenness, yet he always chooses to stay by our sides. How grateful I am for a friend like Jesus!

I am ready to keep on dancing with Him.

Love, Linda May

GOD DID

March 4th, 2024

Welcome back friends! Simas here.

Crazy to say but the end is getting more and more real.

The month of February was honestly such a blur, even with an extra day.

In spite of it being an absolute blur of a month, a greatly apparent theme of Joy has surfaced this month. I have been truly filled with joy and gratefulness for the people that I have come to know so far from this crazy experience of fellows. I’ve had a number of moments where I am just in awe of the kindness and care of God in how he has placed such amazing friends in my life. I think at times I can tend to focus on the negatives, or breeze past blessings, write them off, or even feel guilt for them. This month I think God has been calling me to fully embrace and appreciate the gifts he has brought on me.

I’m now going to list out a couple gifts from God I’ve been relishing in this month.

The gift of work. This is crazy place to start but something we have learned this year is that work is actually a gift from God, and it can actually be fulfilling to treat it that way. Wild, I know. I wish i could say I keep this attitude at all times, but this month I felt I recognized the gift that it is a bit more. I also think that nearing the end of the year, and the reality of working full time, I am looking to shift my view of work to being more appreciative. I have seen God in my work in some weird ways this month, in the woods, in old industrial plants, conversations with workers, and peaceful mornings in excel. I’m still learning to praise God for this one, but He put it on my heart to be more appreciative of it.

The gift of celebration and shared community. This one is a bit more apparent. This month was filled with a lake trip, some birthdays, the Bolash Cafe, many shared meals, and even an unexpected half birthday. I love the way this community celebrates things, big and small. I do think it is in the character of God that he desires for us to be joyful and express our love of the people and things around us. I am thankful that sometimes God wants us to have some fun.

The gifts of silence, solitude, and being unplugged. In contrary to my last point, I think God does love it when we shut up, and leave people alone. I do think He desires to be with us, free of distraction. This has been a massive theme of the month for myself. This lent I gave up Instagram and Tik Tok, the two apps that sucked my time and needlessly stressed me out. Just in the past 3 weeks of lent, I have felt physical relief from removing those distractions, and have felt much more in tune with the Holy Spirt. I feel much more easily pushed to prayer, and thankfulness for God’s provision . Another reason it has been so apparent is because we just got back from our silent retreat. It was so awesome, and I can’t believe I’m saying that. At the beginning of the year many of us joked about how much we were dreading it. Well, it was so so so good. The opportunity to fully unplug, walk around in nature, in silence, and play with God was so soul-filling. I could go on, but I will say, after a full day in silence, it is a miracle that i was craving another one. God has given us a wonderful gift in the opportunity to slow down, shut up, and be with Him. It’s pretty underrated, and I would recommend.

Gonna rapid fire off a few little gifts from the month. The harry potter movies, Chuy’s margritas, Pokemon-Go, Worship, Docksology, tandem bikes, dippin dots, Bunners truck bed, the rain, Laurel Market, Wordle, and Connections. THANKS GOD YOU ROCK.

Until next time.

-Simas

The Weight of Meaning Making

A prayer written on January 24th.

Dear Jesus,

& we are back to journaling— hooray! Lord, this year in Fellows has been filled with so much stretching and growing. There has been so much recently that has been going on in my mind. But, it all really comes down to the timeless question of. “Am I good enough?”. Am I a good enough friend, Lord? I have fallen short in our friendship. Have I made enough phone calls or responded fast enough to people for them to know I care and value them? Am I a good enough worker? Fellow? Daughter? Student? God, I feel like I am just one pace behind where I need to be. That is, being the best and never struggling in what I do— which I know is impossible. Jesus, I get so scared and pushed down by my own emotions when I feel like I have to process them frequently. The weight of these pressures and if I will ever measure up to them feels too heavy to attempt to carry. God, I need you so desperately. I know that I have messed up, sinned, failed, disappointed, and ignored your kingdom. Jesus, please hear me and listen when I call out to you. Intercede for me, I need you to be made whole.

—————————

January has been so full of life, and celebrating, and birthday, and learning, and growth. But this is also the time where the reality begins to seep in and remind us that there is life after Fellows. We cannot stay exactly where we are in this playful rhythm of what is “right now”, forever. That’s where the pressure comes in. Pressure. Pressure. Pressure. The unbearable weight of meaning making becomes so heavy when we assign ourselves the task of creating a perfect structure, the perfect job, the perfect life- on our own.

Yet, even when we are not strong enough to lift the weight of our own desires or expectations of ourselves, when we fail to process or respond healthily, when we let people down. When things don’t go the way we plan. The smallest crack in our own weaknesses and hearts is wide enough for Christ’s redeeming power to enter through. Praise the Lord that I do not have to be strong enough to do life alone. Even if I don’t have the strength to speak the words I need or want to say to the Lord, I do not need to worry. Christ is here even if I do not feel steady— He is enough.

A prayer written today.

Jesus, you are strong enough for the both of us. Thank you that you are with me, and that you are the ultimate author of my story. God, I trust in you more than myself to make all things beautiful and whole. Lord, may your will be done.

Amen.

Love, Linda May

BIRTHDAY MONTH!!!

Hey everybody and welcome back to the show! We took a slightly long hiatus on account of the fact we all forgot about the December post and we were too fixated on vacation time, playing, and getting obscene amounts of sleep.

On this episode, we explore what it looks like to have copious amounts of birthdays in a short period, an amazing retreat by John Richmond, and getting into a better fitness rhythm.

Let’s start with birthdays because that’s truly what this month is about! Linda May, Girl Hunter, Gabi, and Gretchen. Every single birthday was a blast in its own way. From Linda May’s going to a coffee shop/bar/chill library all combined into one and then proceeding to eat pizza and play games! Girl Hunter’s where we ate burgers and played possibly the most interesting version of Putt Putt I’ve ever played! Gabi’s going to her family home for dinner and games and then to Glennwood for a night of dancing! Finishing off with Gretchen’s birthday going to KPOT where we indulged in copious amounts of Korean BBQ that was amazing!

John Richmond Retreat: By far my favorite speaker we’ve had between all the classes, retreats, and the TFI conference; it was just straight-up fire! We went over these 10 “Rules” or “Guidelines” to live your life: 

1. Please God

2. Know your name

3. People are more important than self (Life’s Relationships)

4. Speak truth in Love

5. Feelings are not actions

6. Know how to stop

7. Finish the Job

8. Be generous

9. Happen to your life

10. Make wrong things right 

Overall the reterat was so solid; I hope John writes a book one day, he’s got so many great stories and such a way of bringing the Lord into things.

Next on the list, we’ve got fitness routine and just a healthier routine in general; I’ve started a “75 Soft” or “75 Adult” as it’s just more realistic for me than doing the 75 hard challenge, also the 75 Hard doesn’t leave a day for Sabbath and so I’d never be able to complete a traditional 75 hard anyhow. For my “75 Adult” plan, I’m lifting at least 3 days a week, running 3 days a week, consuming a gallon of water every day (or as close to), and eating healthier overall while still allowing for some fun meals once or twice a week, focusing on eating more homecooked meals, and spending time with the Lord every day, and being very graceful when I don’t fulfill the goals of above^^^

Through doing this I’ve realized how much better I function on a routine or at least a moderate routine. I do miss having days where I can just bum and go with the flow if things pop up and people want to do things. I’ve realized the hard reality that I’ll never be able to go back to my schedule of going to bed at 2 am, waking up when I had to for class (or just sleeping through), coming back and spending time with the Lord later in the day, going to the gym at some point or playing some sport with people, doing school work if I had to, and getting hang with friends literally every day. While it’s sad, it wasn’t healthy and it isn’t the reality of life; definitely doesn’t mean that I can’t implement these things some days through the week, but they can’t be every day, it just isn’t realistic, it isn’t how the Lord calls us into being. 

This month has been a blast, exhausting, and overwhelming at times, but so good! It flew way too fast, but I’m excited for what’s to come next!

Til next episode,

It’s Cha Boi, Bunner Superscrub Biestrath