Better Late Than Never

Yes yes, I realize I am a bit late with my November post, but by my count I am still not the latest of my class of fellows (unless they all post while I’m typing), so I am going to count that as a win in my book.

November has been the most jam-packed month we’ve had so far I’d say, and ironically it has felt like the first time I could really breathe since moving south. Much like some of my “fellow fellows” have said, it was an incredible month. November was marked by adventure, intentionality, increased confidence, and important questions. Between carpooling to DC where we may have laughed a bit too much at inappropriate times during the conference, to praying with and serving others in Nicaragua, to getting left in the Miami airport on our way home (shoutout Bailey, Elijah and Chris who got left with me), there have been innumerable spaces where I have tangibly felt my connections to the 13 other incredible humans in this program deepen and grow (plus Ashley, Sam, Chris, and Eric of course).

In addition to the growth I have felt with the other Fellows, November was also a month marked by learning with the Lord. Though, as per usual, the lesson I have been learning is nothing groundbreaking or new, it felt like the first time I’d really considered it. I feel as though God has been challenging me to dream more with Him. For context, I tend to be someone who thinks about the future a fair amount, and though I don’t consider myself a rigid planner, I typically have some imagination for what’s next for me. However, where I have felt the challenge has been in dreaming about how beautiful things could be if they go the opposite direction of where I think they will. For example, it’s easy for me to dream about my life post-fellows, back in Michigan, living with my best friend and working while doing ministry. What’s harder is dreaming about alternatives that would be beautiful; where I instead stay in North Carolina, or do something entirely different with next year. It’s easy for me to dream about a future by myself or only with close friends, radically pursuing God’s calling on my life while free from obligations to many others. It’s more difficult to dream of a beautiful future that includes me being married or having to compromise for a family. Yet, God is teaching me the importance of dreaming about the incredible ways He could use EITHER or BOTH scenarios.

I think this practice of dreaming more than one beautiful possibility with God is an incredible way to avoid putting Him in a box. Also, I can already see how dreaming about the awesome ways God could use things I maybe don’t want right now is setting me up to avoid future discontentment. It’s harder to be disappointed if you have learned to dream about multiple outcomes, and it’s easier to understand people with different dreams after you try dreaming them yourself.

Takeaway: DREAM MORE WITH GOD! (and not just about the things you want)

-Emma <3

My Third Blog Post

This month the fellows went to Washington DC, Nicaragua, and Wilmington if you’re a boy. A lot happened in November, a lot of really good things. I have frequently referred to November of 2024 as one of the best months of my life (and I genuinely believe that). Though I have so many things to potentially write about, I’m going to write this blog post about November 27th, which many of you know as ~Wednesday~. November 27th is a fitting day for me to write about because it’s exactly one month away from October 27th, which is when I was still in Texas from my last blog post. Since it’s exactly a month away, it means that I can include my Texas trip in one of the best months of my life: November 2024 (I don’t make the rules). Any who…

I woke up at 7:00 AM on November 27th. I went back to sleep and woke up again at 9:00 AM, and this time I woke up feeling dangerous (not actually, I just wanted to throw a Baker Mayfield quote in this blog post). I started my day by heading over to Beow’s Books and Brews with Evy, Elijah, Josh, Sam Crutchfield, and Charles. Out of the six of us, three work at RDG and three don’t. I’ll let you decide which of the six are RDG employees. I sat down at the table beside Charles. I had never met Charles before, so when I sat down, Sam Crutchfield kindly introduced us to each other by saying “Charles this is Bailey, Bailey this is Charles.” My grandpa’s name is Charles Bailey, so my brain immediately crunched the numbers: Charles + Me = My Grandpa. After I ran the calculations and came up with a pretty convincing solution, I turned to Charles and said “hey, my grandpa’s name is Charles Bailey.” My new friend Charles tried his hardest to make me feel like that was a normal thing to say to him at that given moment. And Charles, if you’re reading this, thank you for that (also, if you are for some reason reading this, hey Charles).

After roughly two hours of pretending to be an RDG employee, I left Beow’s to say goodbye to the Young’s before they left for Thanksgiving. With a handful of brief goodbyes and a quick hug from Mary (thank GOODNESS), I went to my friend Tristan’s house. He was sitting in a rocking chair on the porch as I pulled into his driveway. We sat there and talked for two and a half hours. We talked about a lot, but not too much. Never too much. After our stint on the porch, we made our way inside to hangout with his family. We were accompanied by his dad, his mom, and his sister. Tristan’s dad’s name is Bill. I get breakfast with Bill every other week, and we just chat. It was fun to hangout with Tristan and Bill at the same time. It was one of the first times I had been at a college friend’s house. A couple days after Thanksgiving, Tristan texted me saying that it was also the first time one of his college friends had been to his house. I was really glad he texted me that, because in my head, that was his way of saying that it meant as much to him as it did to me. And it meant a lot to me. I wished them a happy Thanksgiving and left to pick up Skip for supper (it’s supper, not dinner).

Skip and I went to Masala House. I would love to say that Indian food is good, but I have only had Indian food two times, and each time I ordered chicken tikka masala. Because of this, I feel unqualified to say that Indian food is good. Chicken tikka masala is good though. Skip and I had quite an interesting time at Masala house. We were served by four different waiters, each of them having their own awkward–yet endearing–idiosyncrasies. A different time I got supper with Skip, he ordered a coke. I had told him that I wanted a coke, and he responded to me by saying “just get one, you’ve earned it.” So I did. I have since adopted the idea of earning a coke every time I want a coke, so I also got a coke at Masala House (I don’t think the “earned coke” philosophy is always the best application, but at least I’m consistent). My Masala House coke was served in a can, accompanied by a Carolina Panthers glass and a bendy straw. Solemnly sipping my bendy straw coke, Skip and I conversed about many different things. Occasionally, one of the four waiters would stop by and ask if we were still eating. The funny thing was, instead of saying “are you still eating?” they would say “continue?” as if we had just reached a checkpoint in the fine dining video game. It eventually got to the point that we could no longer continue (I guess we beat the game), and we asked for the check. As we were paying for our food, we noticed a middle-aged couple angrily addressing Masala House’s night shift host. One of our four waiters (I hate that we didn’t get any of their names) was explaining to us that the couple was mad at them for some reason. I thought it was funny that he was telling two completely unrelated customers this, but as I was thinking, Skip said to our waiter “it’s okay, we would never be mad at you.”

Honestly, I just wanted to write this blog about my friend Skip, so I’m sorry for wasting your time up to this point. One of my favorite things about Skip is his ability to reassure others and show them love in ordinary circumstances. This is not the first time I’ve witnessed Skip address someone in this way. Every time I’ve noticed it, I believe what he says. I genuinely believe that he wouldn’t get mad at any waiter, but that’s not the point. Skip and I probably won’t see any of the members from our waiter quartet ever again, at least not for some time. The truth is, it doesn’t matter whether or not Skip would get mad at him, because he probably won’t have the chance even if he wanted to. But in that very moment, Skip decided to–in the simplest yet most powerful terms–care for our waiter in a loving way. I hope that’s not the first time our waiter’s been reassured that someone won’t be mad at him, but the harsh reality is that it maybe was the first time he’s been told that, and it makes me think of the other people Skip has loved in that way. It’s one of the many things I admire about my friend Skip.

We left Masala House and drove back to Skip’s house, laughing about stories that I’m not gonna type. I actually already typed this blog post once but forgot to save it. Whoops. After dropping off Skip, I drove to my childhood home in Davie County while listening to Kendrick Lamar and Christmas music. I don’t know how I made the jump from Kendrick Lamar rapping about the West Coast to Michael Bublé telling his girlfriend that it’s too cold outside, but I did. And with that, my day ended. November 27th, 2024.

Since it’s Christmas time, my song recommendation is Penny and Sparrow’s cover of “Away in a Manger”. There’s this wicked whistling harmony portion at the end of the song that really gets me goin’. My friend Henry refers to Penny and Sparrow as “coin and bird” and that always makes me chuckle.

If you run into Eric Bolash, for the love of God ask him about Slab Tuesday.

Love, Bailey

November!!

Hey blog! Happy December 1st to all who celebrate!

Growing up, December 1st was the day my family would bring down Christmas decorations from the attic. The house would suddenly transform from having scarecrows and cornucopias laying around to having a Christmas tree, stockings, and a nativity scene on the mantle. Living in Texas, this was the biggest marking of the transition from Fall to Winter. But this year, I saw snow on December 1st.

YOU’RE JOKING. 

Maybe this feels like a random thing to include in my blog about November, but honestly it felt magical to me. Is that dramatic? Absolutely. But when I think back on November, I remember dramatic belly laughs & jumping up and down with sheer excitement & being silly just to be silly & oh how known I've felt this month! Truly, these moments have the same magical feeling as seeing snow today!!

November was an adventurous month. We went to DC! And Nicaragua! And saw friends & family for Thanksgiving! It was exciting! confusing! beautiful! emotional! 

Simultaneously, I’m reading a book called “Silence” about Jesuit missionaries who go to rural Japan and face intense persecution. Throughout the book, there is a theme of God’s silence in the lives of so many faithful believers. In the part of the book I’m at, the main character (a priest) has just been captured by Japanese officials and is awaiting imminent suffering and death unless he aposticizes. The priest reflects on the countless lives of missionaries and Christians who have faced martyrdom before him, and the decades it has seemed God has turned his face from this land. In his own life, He can’t remember the last time he heard the Lord speak to him. After a lifetime devoted to learning about God, he now finds himself wondering if God even exists. 

I haven’t finished the book yet. I can’t tell you what conclusion, if any, the priest reaches, or what his fate will be. But my overview of November wouldn’t be complete without an homage to the unanswered questions I’ve had this month. So here is my homage. I don’t know all that I wish I knew, and often that feels like silence from the Lord. Maybe it is. Maybe I’m just not listening. 

If I was more poetic, I would tie this all together with a list of all the moments that literally made me bounce up and down with uncontained joy from the feeling of being seen, known, and cared for by the people who make Raleigh home in the midst of confusion and heaviness, and you guys would walk away teary-eyed and thankful for the people in your own lives in a new way. Unfortunately, I’m not poetic, and my list wouldn’t mean much to you. (Don’t worry, I still wrote my list, just in a different place.) 

What I will say is that I’m deeply thankful to be at Apostles. It has been so neat to experience faith in a new way than I grew up with. To have the freedom to just be. To know leaders like Eric and Ashley and Sam and Chris who have taught me so much just from the way they live. I am forever grateful!! 

Until next month,

 Celeste

(Okay also the Aggies played TU yesterday for the first time in 13 years. I got to watch with my dearest Aggie friends in Knoxville, and GUYS being able to sing “saw varsity’s horns off” HITS DIFFERENT when we’re actually playing tu!!! Talk about screaming and jumping up and down!! GIG EM AND HORNS DOWN FOREVERRRR)

November Fun Fellows Flicks

HEYYY BLOG!!!

Phew! This month was a busy one. I celebrated five birthdays, went to the TFI National Conference, learned my Myers-Briggs Personality type (ESFJ), took a trip to Nicaragua, celebrated Thanksgiving, and watched South Carolina beat Clemson. I made so many memories, laughed a lot, and took some pictures to prove it! The shared album currently has 1,337 pictures and 139 videos. This month comes with the creation of two new albums: Nicaragua 2024 (592 pictures and 93 videos) and Nicaragua Zip Lining (177 pictures and 81 videos).

<3, AG

IS JOE TENDER???

Joe went to Nicaragua, fell in love, became best friends with all the kids, played checkers with a random dude in the market, and almost didn’t make it on the plane to Miami. Although many don’t fully understand the ways of Joseph Scarborough, all can agree that he is awesome at connecting with people! I would say Joe is tender, but the tenderness comes with a side of fake punches and “shut up” comments.

WHO DRIVIN THIS BUUUSSSS?

Bet you didn’t know that we had a Fellow who has her CDL. Celeste is so cool and this makes her even cooler. As a college bus driver for Texas A&M, she was more than qualified to drive our 15-passenger van around Bethesda one night! She may have only seen the inside of a limousine once (in a Buccees beaver costume) but she has put in her hours behind the wheel of a bus! Thanks for being a great driver Celeste!!!

Raleigh Rookie: Episode 3

Oh November… you were a lot for me.

This month has been really great. The fellows traveled to Wilmington, Washington DC, and Nicaragua. I don’t have the time to share all I’ve learned over all those miles, but I’ll give a few highlights.

1. I kicked off the month in Wilmington for our church men’s retreat. Honestly, it was probably the best weekend of my fellows career. Joe and I were lucky enough to catch an invite to the beach during some free time. To set the scene: picture me and Joe on Wrightsville Beach, flying kites with four dads. And I’m not talking about just any kind of kite flying—this was *advanced* kite flying, and it was way more fun than I ever could’ve imagined. As I get older, it feels like opportunities to just play get fewer and farther between. So, it was a gift to be present and have fun.

What really stood out to me that day, though, was how much I could see that friendship is a gift—something totally God given. When I first moved to Raleigh, I had a tough time leaving behind my close friends in Georgia. I felt like the deep friendships I had in college were something I’d never find again (dramatic, I know). But watching the men who took us to the beach, sharing laughter, embarrassment, and honesty, reminded me so much of the friendships I had back in school. It was a moment of clarity for me: just because life takes new turns doesn’t mean everything you’ve known is lost. Maybe it’s just changed into something new—something better suited for where you are now.

So, to the dads who made that day so special, thank you. You guys inspire me more than you know.

2. On the work front, life continues to stretch me in new ways, and I’m really grateful for the team around me. They’ve been a huge support, sharing insights and wisdom to help me grow, both personally and professionally. One of my biggest growth moments this month came when I led our morning staff devotion. I had signed up for the day after Election Day—definitely not realizing the heightened emotion that day would carry for people. I’ll admit, I was nervous leading a group of people older than me.

To be honest, I don’t remember much about the devotion itself—my nerves pretty much wiped out my memory of the whole thing. But as I left work that day, I realized I was proud of myself. And I learned to set a new standard for myself: my only expectation is that I try. Sometimes that’s all I can do. But as long as I’m showing up and giving my best, I’m doing okay.

Looking back on all that’s happened this month, I can’t help but feel thankful. There have been moments of growth, deep reflection, and a reminder of the importance of friendship. It’s been a lot, but it’s been good. Here’s to finishing out the year strong, and hopefully more opportunities to learn along the way!

-Skip

November Blog - Bryan

Howdy folks!

November was a jam-packed month full of good memories. We had the men’s retreat, national conference in D.C., our trip to Nicaragua, and Thanksgiving! I’ll list some highlights from the month real quick:

• Playing football at the men’s retreat in Wilmington

• hanging out and reconnecting with my 3rd grade bestie, Camden

• fun group times in D.C. (which included seeing a Trent Crimm lookalike on the metro)

• catching up with one of my Clemson friends, Caleb, at the national conference (s/o Charlotte Fellows)

• wearing space buns with Evy

• catching what I think is my personal best largemouth bass in the neighborhood pond

• swimming in a lagoon in Nicaragua

• watching Twilight 1-4 with Ashley (one more to go!)

This month has been super fun, but also very tiring. I’m realizing that fellows doesn’t answer all my life questions for me, but rather introduces even more of them and then forces me to face them. While that is not always my favorite experience, I do believe that it is an important one to go through. Thankfully, we are given a strong support system through Ashley, host families, mentors, church, teachers, other fellows, and so many other people that we share community with. My simple prayer request is to increase in love for and adoration of the Lord, as everything else will follow after that.

This isn’t an all-star level blog post, but I’m sleepy and Clemson just lost.

Happy Advent season! And as always…

Tootles!

Bryan

RALLOWS MONTH 3

“A Time For Everything

For everything there is a season, and time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Praise the Lord that He provides a time for everything and that He desires to be with us through every type of time. This has been a passage I have been reflecting on throughout college and for this month of November I am specifically thankful for the comfort it brings. November has been a rough month. It has been busy and hard and painful. But it has also been a month of GREAT joy. And the beauty of it all, is that there is always time for both. Through my hard outside of fellows, here are some joys within the fellows that have turned the hard into good…

• Emily and Ryan Walker welcoming me into their home and eating Taco Bell with them and AG around their table. Good times.

• The girls. They came to sit with me while I cried and talked for probably an hour. They have made me feel so heard and cared for. I love good women and especially these women.

• Sam Crutchfield, Chris Byron, and Eric Bolash coming with us on our Nicaragua trip. I have been praying for leaders like them for a long time and I am so thankful God has sent them our way. I can’t thank them enough for their gentleness, kindness, and warmth. The Fellows are so lucky to have them. And also Luis. Hi Luis! We miss you.

• Ashley Crutchfield man. Another leader I have prayed so long for. She has shown us what it looks like to love the Lord well while also just having fun and not taking everything too seriously. She is strong, full of life, and gifted to be a leader. Raleigh Fellows is Raleigh Fellows because of Ashley.

• Josh and Ryan fixing my car so I can finally listen to music again. This is healing.

• Love! My friend Mary got engaged and I am so excited for the way God has brought Morgan into her life and the way he loves her so well. I am so excited.

• Getting to see my dear friend Kat again at the DC Conference (shout-out Chattanooga Fellows). She is so full of joy and brings me so much joy. I am immensely glad to be experiencing the same thing as her even though we are miles apart.

• Working with Bailey at St. Davids. There is no one else I would rather laminate a 5 foot Christmas tree with.

• Learning more about how to pray. (Thank you Pauline and so many others!)

• Not to take a page from her book, but living with LOLA! What a light she is. If you haven’t gotten to experience her smile, I highly suggest it. How I love sitting in the giant chairs, knitting together, and watching the Holiday.

• Mark and Mona Hall. They are making host family feel a lot like real family. Thank you for including us in your Thanksgiving dinner and caring for us so well (and showing us your old yearbooks).

• AND OF COURSE: FELLOWS. I don’t think I can ever fully express how thankful I am for these people. Never in my dreams of what Fellows would look like, did I think it would look this great. Thank you fellows for putting your all into what we are doing and making this so fun.

We would never know how good it feels to heal if we were never broken.

I recommend… Pokemon (the trading card app), PB&J’s (thank you secret Santa!!!), airplanes and airports, Creep (glee version), Zumba lessons from Chris, the Corn Kid, and definitely NOT blue takis and holding babies.

Happy Thanksgiving, peace and love, and until next time,

Evy :)

See ya November !!

Yay!! I love blog season!! It feels like zero time has passed since October but here we are at the end of another month. This month has been one of really high highs and really low lows which I must say is pretty on character for how I live at any given time. There's so much I could highlight, so I’m going to try my very best to stay on track. 

Adventures 

This was a month of so so many adventures, a month of learning I can push myself to do more than I previously thought I could, a month to lean into the excitement and joy of the busy and drown out the parts of me that tend to run from that kind of thing.

Here’s a (non-exhaustive) list of adventures this month:

• I SAW TAYLOR SWIFT with my cousins to start the month. It was incredible. I cried. I’ll never be the same. I wish there was more Speak Now.

• We went to DC, we went and got after it, decorated the van, saw monuments, walked the streets, spent lots of good time together. I just love DC. Lets go back soon.

• I started knitting again. Thats pretty cool. Thanks Evy.

• I learned my ideal career is a secretary. So if anyones planning to take over the world and needs someone to do their paperwork let me know. 

• We went to Nicaragua. There’s so much I could say here. Many thoughts and feelings that I can’t quite string together coherently. It was an adventure and prayer and blessing and heavy all in one. And its cool that our God works in our jumbled thoughts and feelings and experiences. But we got to meet new people, and have fun together, and I mixed concrete (and maybe now feel passionate about the best way to mix concrete?), and each of those is an adventure in and of itself. 

Prayers

• This month has been one of praying hope over myself in moments I want to give up. Hope is a weighty concept that I’ve been wrestling with for the past few years. What does it look like to hope when you can’t see the resolution? What does it look like to hope when it feels like one more unfulfilled dream might crush what little you have left? This has been a month of why God? Why does this still hurt God? Why is this still here God? Why is it still hard God? And I can’t say I’ve come to any resolution, its honestly just continued to get harder. Yet even still. Even in the midst I return and seek to hold the hem of the one who made me.

• I don’t think I could add prayer as a little reflection section without highlighting two moments. One is prayer with Pauline. What a blessing that has been to me. Ask me about it sometime, I’ll tell you about the patience of our Savior who sits gently on the blanket waiting for me. (Also in Nicaragua we had a time of painting and prayer and so many of us drew our spots that we prayed. I thought that was cool.) The other was prayer in Nicaragua. This space was such a blessing. At first I felt very hesitant- because I have been struggling to trust that the presence of the Lord is a safe space to dwell. But he was so kind and patient with me as I tiptoed nervously to meet him. And I’m so grateful for all those who prayed for me. For Emma and Ashley and AG and Jenna and the way the Holy Spirit met me through them. He is gracious. 

Blessings

I sit writing this the day before I leave to go home for Thanksgiving. And it feels a little cliche to at this moment sit and list things I’m grateful for. But there have been so many sweet blessings this month and so I’m going to do it anyway. Also Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. It's slow and gentle and centered around good time with those I love dearly. It’s just the best. I can’t wait.

• A huge blessing this month (and always lets be honest) has been getting to live with Evy. Evy you are kind and wise and gentle. You hold space for me in a way that has a deeper impact than I think you realize. You make home joyful and I’m so glad I get to be your sister!!

• A special shout out here to our lovely November birthdays. Jenna, Tessa, Josh and Ashley each one of you is such a blessing to me and it was such a joy to get to celebrate you. 

• I am so blessed by sweet friendships this month. By people who are willing to sit in the heavy with me, usually as I attempt to divert in another direction. So thank you to everyone who was patient and kind and gracious in sitting with me in hard moments. Thanks for pressing in. I’m so grateful. The Lord has been so kind to me through the people he places to walk alongside me.

• The changing of the seasons has also been a huge joy. I LOVE WHEN ITS A LITTLE COLD ! So let's hope for more of that in the coming months (and maybe snow!?)

November Statistics

Nights slept in my own bed: 12

Different states/countries: 6

Cries: 12

Expensive airport coffees purchased: A lot

Bags of concrete mixed: So many (although tbh very little of that was me, so all credit to Bailey and Bryan there)

So I know I’ve definitely rambled for far too long. This month has been full and joyful and heavy and fun and sad and silly and exhausting and energizing and I can’t do it justice. But I’m grateful. 

Surely his goodness and mercy will follow me!!

All my love!

Lola

Josh is Back

Hey guys, it’s Josh.

The last month has been super fun. I’ve really loved getting to hang out with Ashley and the fellows. I enjoy the simple things in life like prayer partner walks, chilling on a boat, or sitting on a porch. I’m thankful for lots of time to do that.

Besides chilling, a lot happened:

My friend Ethan got engaged! I made the trip to Blacksburg to celebrate, and it was awesome.

I went home for the opening weekend of duck season.

I went to Ashley and Sam’s lake house and went fishing.

I went to the State Fair with a bunch of the fellows. I lost a lot of money on games, but it was super fun hanging out with everyone.

I went to the Duke game with Luke Harvin (former fellow & awesome dude), Bryan, and AG.

I got to go hunting with my boss Coburn, and it was an awesome time.

Huge life update: After years of refusal, I decided to give La Croix seltzer a try. I never thought I’d say it, but it’s actually pretty good.

Work update:

The wheels are rolling at RDG Commercial. There is a lot of exciting stuff going on. I’m getting to help with a lot of development and acquisitions projects. I’ve gotten to learn a ton of practical ways to incorporate the biblical economy into daily business practices. The guys at RDG talk a lot about the practice of “gleaning” and how it applies to the way that we relate to value, risk, and other people in the business world. It is awesome that our every day work is kingdom work in very practical ways. I’m very blessed to get to be a part of it.

Stats:

1 Wood Duck (My first ever)

Fish caught:

-7 Bass

-2 Flounder (Personal best)

La Croixs Drank: lots

Duke Turnovers forced on defense: 6 

Duke Points: Not enough

State Fair Games Won: 0

Overthrown passes to elementary schools at Neighbor: 83

Until next time,

Josh

Joe's blog pt 2

Hello world it’s Joe again

This month I had the opportunity to attend the N.C. state fair for the first time. It was so much fun hanging out with Celeste, Evy, Lola, Jenna, Ann Grace, Ryan, and Josh. We tried different types of foods and played lots of games. While at the fair, I was reminded how passionate I am about fair games. The first game I played I won a capybara and it made me sooo happy. It was so funny watching Ann Grace carry my capybara while I went to play more fair games. I share this little bit about my experience at the fair because it was so fun. It wasn’t so fun just because I won a capybara (though that was great) but it was the people I was surrounded by. As I’ve gotten to know my fellow fellows better I’ve grown to love the time I spend with them. Heres a pic of us at the fair 😃

Raleigh Rookie: Episode 2

Hey there! Checking in again. Still doing the Fellows thing. Second month in, and I’m still learning all that goes on around me.

Today, I am really grateful for my job placement. Through my work, I’ve had the chance to engage directly with the material needs of those around me, which has been a gift. As a new person in town, I appreciate being immersed in the community’s challenges, especially the housing crisis. The staff around me teach me so much, particularly how joy can exist every day, even when we feel exhausted and frustrated.

Something on my mind as I wrap up October is the friendships in my life that have shown up recently. I’ve also been lucky enough to connect with a couple of old friends this month. It’s cool to watch each other grow up. When I get to know someone, I hope to know them my whole life, and I’m thankful when it really does happen that way.

This month, I also participated in one of the more impactful projects we’ve done in our classes. In our spiritual formation class, we wrote eulogies for ourselves. This exercise guided me through reflecting on how I hope to live and what legacy I want to leave behind. It helped me see what I’m doing and what I’m not doing in my life that aligns with my hopes. I realized how much time I spend on things that don’t truly reflect my values—like my work performance or how prepared I am. In the end, those aren’t what matter most to me. So, I hope to start living and focusing on what truly counts: being part of my community, knowing people, and embodying hospitality.

-Skip

October Recap, Work, and Community - Bryan

Howdy blog!

For a quick October recap, here’s some fun things that happened:

• We went on a walking tour of Raleigh with our Just Leadership class that was led by Raleigh Pilgrimage

• Spent a weekend at Docksology (Ashley and Sam’s lake house) with the Crutchfields and the guy fellows (where I caught my personal best catfish and spotted bass!)

• Volunteered with Jenna (who invited us to do this), AG, Lola, and Bailey at Forgiven Ministries, which is an amazing prison ministry

• Went to a Duke football game with Luke (former fellow who invited us), Josh, and AG

• Celebrated birthdays for AG, Ryan, Jenna, Virginia (fellow who recruited me), and Meg (did fellows with Virginia)

After two months of Fellows, I think the part that is pushing me towards Christ the most so far is my job at Neighbor to Neighbor. Each day can look a little bit different, and we (me and AG) are always working from the moment we get to work until the moment we leave. This is building up a lot of experiences within me that are valuable, whether it is determining the best plan of action to help a teen catch up in a class, driving a 15 passenger van around Southeast Raleigh, managing relationships and conflict in said van, tutoring for algebra, playing hours and hours of quarterback for the elementary age boys, rebounding basketballs for a teen excited to try out for his high school team, creating and automating spreadsheets to organize all sorts of educational data, and so much more. A lot of the work isn’t impressive, but I trust that it is exactly where the Lord wants me to grow. Having a vastly different background than the kids in the program is completely changing my perspectives in leadership, people’s background and circumstance, what is just, and what it really looks like to follow Christ. All of this change is simply coming from building relationships with people and serving them, and I am so thankful to be able to do that with the Neighbor to Neighbor community four times a week. While I spend some time getting to pour into that community, it feels like God is blessing me through it even more than I ever could do for them.

Also, I can’t say nice things about the Neighbor to Neighbor community without also saying a little bit about the fellows community. Ashley and Sam are some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, and it has been so wonderful living with them. It has been great continuing to learn more about the other fellows and building stronger friendships during this month. AG, Bailey, Celeste, Elijah, Emma, Evy, Jenna, Joe, Josh, Lola, Ryan, Skip, and Tessa are a fantastic group to do this season of life with as we all figure out how to do Raleigh Fellows together. Also, the fellows alum and overall church community have been so welcoming and inclusive of this new class of fellows.

This might be an abrupt ending, but thanks for reading!

Tootles!

Bryan

Working Hard or Hardly Working?

Don’t worry guys, I actually do have to work hard at my job, but tell me that’s not a catchy title.

October for me was marked by increased confidence and comfort in the job that was basically given to me before my interview. For those of you that don’t know where I work, I am a medical assistant at Neighbor Health Center, which is a nonprofit clinic serving all ages and a significant population of individuals who are uninsured or underinsured. This means a lot of things about the work environment I’m in. On one hand, it’s a Christian organization with no shortage of believers on staff; a place where we truly do have the opportunity to serve people from innumerable cultures, languages, and backgrounds. On the other hand, it is a place that can be busy and chaotic, where staff at every level face the threat of overextending themselves into burnout. Yet, I am beginning to feel comfortable there in that tension. While September at work left me feeling in over my head and overwhelmed by how much I didn’t know, October taught me how much I could learn just by trying anyways and asking lots of questions.

Perhaps even more significant for me though was the opportunity over the past month to begin to know my coworkers. I learned that our Ultrasound technician also hails from the Midwest, that one of my fellow medical assistants has a daughter about to graduate high school, one of the nurses spent over a decade in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship), and that my supervisor leads a small group outside of work. There are some incredible people working at Neighbor Health, but I’ve realized I won’t have the opportunity to learn at all from them unless I make it a point to ask good questions not just about my job, but about the more important things in their lives. It’s easy to recognize that our patients at Neighbor Health walk in the door with diverse backgrounds and perspectives, but it’s critical to understand that the same is true of the people working there every day.

Looking back on 2 months of working in the clinic, there are two times in a workday I look forward to the most. One is the space I get with each patient when I’m done asking about their medical history and medications, and instead get to ask about their day or tattoo or outfit while I take their blood pressure; the space where we get to connect for just a few moments. The other time I look forward to is the time before our first patient shows up, the calm before the storm, when I get to connect for even a few moments with the staff.

My nugget of advice after this month is to make a point of learning about your coworkers this week. Instead of working through lunch, sit with someone and talk. Instead of spending the last 15 minutes of the day preparing for the following day, take that time to learn about the person next to you before they leave. Find out what’s going on in people’s lives at work and follow up on it.

Alright, I’ve rambled enough.

With love,

Emma :)

Look Ma I'm Getting Mentored! - Tessa Cyrus

Mentorship was the aspect of the fellows program I was most excited and nervous about. I have craved guidance from more mature women of faith since high school and fruitlessly searched for it in college. I struggled feeling like I wasn’t the “right type” of Christian girl that older women would want to pour into. The last 6ish weeks, I have been pursued by wise and admirable women more than I have my entire life. My assigned mentor, Laura Thomas, plays a large role in this. Laura is kind, gentle, beautifully honest, and generous in her time, energy, and compassion. She has welcomed me into her home and her life, sharing what is on her heart with authenticity that makes space for me to do the same. In past ministry contexts, women like Laura made me feel othered, be it because of my own insecurities or how they responsed to them. I felt too goofy, not soft or feminine enough to earn their time. Laura meets me where I am while calling me higher through her actions and advice. In the midst of our busy schedules time with Laura always feels like rest.

Ashley, the program director, has been another guiding and steading presence. Ashley is a leader, friend, confidant, and an incredible mother and wife. Sometimes I think to be a “good” woman, you need to be like Meg from Little Women ( if you don’t understand that reference, you’re welcome, I just introduced you to a top 10 read/ watch depending on how much of a literary purist you are). And while the Meg’s of the world are wonderful and beautiful and needed, I am not one. I didn’t know how badly I needed to see a woman who was strong, bold, and charismatic, yet utterly devoted to and dependent on the Lord. She lights up every room she’s in and seeks out the one who is sitting in the shadows. The way she has made time for me, affirmed and embraced the characteristics God has given me has been a blessing beyond what I thought I would find this year. I feel cherished by Ashley, it’s awesome.

And there are so many others, Spencer (my host mom), Emily Walker (one of our teachers), Liz (student ministry leader), the fellows alumni girls, my fellows girls, the moms of the 8th grade girls I lead!! I am humbled by the way these women have made space for me and invited me in. They are all so wonderfully different, so intent on servitude to our Father. They guide with humility and encourage with grace. Their example helps me be a better sister in Christ to my precious 8th grade girls, co-workers, and the fellows.

“Think of me as a fellow patient in the same hospital who, having been admitted a little earlier, could give some advice.” - C.S. Lewis.

I am grateful for my fellow patients. Grateful for answered prayers, some I didn’t know to pray for.

Love ya, be good now!

Tessa

Reflections from October :,)

On Saturday, October 19th, I sat down in Beow’s Books & Brews to write my own eulogy.

Yes, you read that right. A eulogy for myself, written by myself, to be read at my hypothetical funeral on Monday.

Let me set the scene for you. Last month, we were assigned this project to think about our hopes and dreams for our lives. And to set it to paper and speak with confidence that at the end of our life, we would like these things to have happened. AHH! I would be lying if I said I was looking forward to it.

But here I am, on a Saturday afternoon after a prayer walk with Bryan at Shelley Lake, sitting with other fellows as we all ponder what we hope our lives will amount to by the end of it. Yeah, super casual.

I was afraid of it for so many reasons! For one, creative writing feels so intimidating to me! But so is dreaming of the future and what I hope will happen. On top of that, reading it in front of 15 other people? Okay, maybe that’s just three reasons, but all three basically cover every aspect of this assignment.

Thankfully, Evy invited us to work on our eulogies together. And Bryan advised me on our prayer walk to not take it overly seriously, which I had been! Add some silliness, while still allowing myself to be honest. (THANK YOU EVY & BRYAN!!)

Our little homework session in Beow’s is one of my favorite memories from October. I was encouraged as I thought about each of the 13 other Fellows in my class who are so different from myself, and yet, isn’t that the beauty of fellowship with the Body of Christ? I don’t know if you guys have ever read anything by Deitrich Bonhoeffer, but I would’ve never guessed that out of all the books we had to read over the summer that our group would latch onto the one written by a German theologian who was involved in a Hitler assassination attempt as much as we have. But I guess I’m grateful; this group is committed to each other! Bonhoeffer is quoted often in our times together (mostly by Ryan and Tessa who always have the coolest things to say), but the ideas presented in “Life Together” are not an abstract theological concept here, they are a practical reality in our little group.

On October 8th, my mentor Meg passed away. Much of my life in October felt shaped by the weight of loss. Before coming to Raleigh, I prayed often for a mentor who would share her life with me, and show me what a life of faithfulness looks like in each season of life. I’ve often been surrounded by believers who are my age, and while that has been deeply beneficial and formative for me, I have found it equally as beneficial to learn from those who have walked the path already. In preparation for Fellows, I prayed specifically for Meg to be my mentor. As the one who interviewed me and who kept up with me regularly throughout the semester leading up to my move, I could see the way she loved out of an overflow of her love for the Lord, not out of an obligation to me or anyone else. I wanted to see life the way she did bad!!

Truly, it was only out of the Lord’s kindness that I got to be a small part of Meg’s life this year. And little did I know that when I prayed for a mentor who would share what a full life of faithfulness looks like, I would quite literally get to see her life until the day she met Jesus face-to-face.

Meg was a servant. A prayer warrior. A fierce and loyal friend. An encourager, wise counselor, and a true gift to be loved by.

The alignment of Meg’s passing and having to write my own eulogy was an odd coincidence, although probably not merely a coincidence. Much of my reflection of my future was also spent looking to Meg’s life. She knew herself and the way God gifted her. And her passion was to help others know the same! It was an honor and privilege to know Meg.

I’ll probably say this every month, but this month I’ve been reminded just how much I love our class. AG, Ashley, Bailey, Bryan, Elijah, Emma, Evy, Jenna, Joe, Josh, Lola, Ryan, Skip, & Tessa - thank you for being so fun and silly and my favorite part of Raleigh! #blessed.

This blog post was jumbled and chaotic, but that’s kind of what October felt like for me. And yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

<3 Celeste

Second Child, Restless Child

Hey everyone,

I want to start off this blog post with some short highlights of the month of October before I get into length about what is on my mind and what the Holy Spirit is prompting me to write about…

It was my birthday on the 11th, as well as my future sister-in-law’s, Madelynn! Gracie, my fiancée, and I met up with her family where we got to eat FIRE steak. The day before, the fellows brought me to get sushi and then we went and watched the Pharrell Williams Lego Movie, which was honestly one of the best movies in the past couple years. There was sweet, intimate time spent with the fellows in long conversations about questions we’ll never answer. Gracie and I saw Brandon Lake for our third time and saw some great friends In Richmond (Abigail and Coleman). I went up to JMU for homecoming to see the Milkmen. The fellows went to the fair where we spent way too much money just to lose on the games (except Joe). It was a full month with every range of emotion.

There’s so much more I could say, but here’s what I’ve been fixated on: For those of you that don’t know, music is my escape from life’s noise. Most of the time, you'll find me listening to music and searching for new, unique sounds. Okay so, there is this band named The Oh Hellos, who have been one of, if not my, favorite band for awhile. They are able to transform real-life experiences into a profoundly fantastical world. They bring me into this safe place where I am forced to reminisce on experiences and people.

Particularly, their album “Through the Deep, Dark Valley” (TDDV) is what I want to tell you all about. This album is based off of the parable of the lost son in Luke 15 and his journey home. TDDV is a journey through the process of why we continue to run from God. In the song Like the Dawn, they encapsulate what it would be like for Adam to finally see his other needed part, Eve. She is called “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” in Genesis 2 and the lyrics repeat this saying, “Bones of my bones, and flesh of my flesh, at last.” And later we see the introduction of sin as Adam, in this song realizes that, “you (Eve) will surely be the death of me.”

Relating this to where I am in life, with getting married in August, it’s imperative to understand what the foundation of marriage should be. I’m thankful to know that my marriage is not my provider—Jesus is. He is the one who made mine and Gracie’s bones and flesh.

There is this four song section of the album which starts the story of the prodigal son and in this album, he’s named Eustace Scrubb, after the character in The Chronicles of Narnia. In the second of these four songs, Second Child, Restless Child, this young man says “And Heaven knows how hard I tried, but that devil whispered lies I’d believe,” relating back to Adam and Eve, that his (our) pursuit of sin started with them. His narrative is set in the past and later says that “You’ve gotta go on further than you’ve ever gone.” And yes, I have gone far from God and still now, continue to recognize how much I need Jesus.

The third song, Wishing Well, says the son is prone to wander endlessly echoing the hymn “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing,” which they reprise on the last song of the album. It’s beautiful, truly. For those who are unfamiliar, the prodigal son takes his fathers inheritance allocated to him and leaves home to go enjoy the riches of the world, which doesn’t last long. The lyrics show his sorrow:

“Cause, oh, I stole from my father
All I thought I could sell
Tossed his copper, and I watched as it fell
But there wasn’t any water in the wishing well”

This water he was searching for would soon be found, the living water in his Father.

In Memoriam, the last song in this Prodigal Son section, expresses in a wondrous way that if the son comes home, the father will be there. The son knows this, but he can’t accept his father’s love:

“But I'm sure I'll find you waiting there for me
And by the time I blink, I'll see your wild arms swinging
Just to meet me in the middle of the road…

Heaven knows I’m prone to leave the only God I should have loved
And yet you’re far too beautiful to leave me.”

This is where the son admits that it’s not his father who he has left and stolen from, but God. And maybe most of you reading this know this story, but this album explodes with emotion and careful articulation of our need for God and his loving embrace. There’s nothing we can do to escape it, but we need to come home first.

I think this album lives in my soul. There is nothing better in this world than a broken human coming home to the feet of Jesus. I’m going to leave the link to this album below, its 40 minutes, listen if you like. It makes me cry tears of joy and thankfulness. This redemption story is meant for all of us and this album helps me admire it. Listening to TDDV could take a whole day if you let it.

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/65VoSsmtmE2b7VwEvni4D8?si=LIzETe42TvKRQMDNuA-oGw

Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/through-the-deep-dark-valley-ten-year-anniversary-remaster/1646705522

Thanks for reading everyone, I know it was long.
I love you all,

Ryan McKean

Month 2 done! Wow!!

Hi again blog!! 

October is already finished which is CRAZY. Two months of fellows done. There's been so much joy and fun in this month, but as a whole I would say it was a month of learning to settle into routines. You know in the church calendar when there's the whole section in the middle that’s called ordinary time (or normal time idk I'm not really the best church calendar expert- maybe go ask Nick or Elijah, but it's something like that) where there's not really anything crazy going on but the regular rhythms of life and it's not flashy in the way other seasons are but so holy and good. That’s what this has felt like. The initial adrenaline of newness has begun to fade, my daily rhythms are emerging and it's just so holy and good. 

I think a big lesson I've been learning in this season is to let myself lean into what I need day to day. Fellows is so full and joyful and so in the small moments of filling my free time it's really highlighted my struggle to just let myself enjoy small moments and be okay with the weight of not experiencing it all. Shocking news I know, but I actually can't do everything fully all the time. But I'm grateful for the ways the Lord reminds me of my finitude and the ways he reminds me I actually wasn’t meant to experience it all. Rather he has given me freedom to lean into things that I care about, and he cares about the things I care about !! That’s so cool. I'm rambling, but really this is just a thank you to my mentor Gretchen and my mom for always reminding me I have permission to lean into what is good for me in small moments.  

Little things that have brought me joy this month: karaoke with my small group, eating pickles at the fair, carving pumpkins with Mark and Mona, bible recap texts with Cora Carr, watching Little Women at girls night, going for walks among the fall leaves, calling my dad, eating lunch in the fellows lounge, watching Anna lead worship, singing the doxology  

This months stats: 

CAPTRUST cold brews- 15 

Prizes Joe won at the fair- 4 

Cries- 9 

Fall walks- 5 

That’s all I've got for now !! Surely his goodness and mercy will follow me!! 

All my love! 

Lola 

October Fun Fellows Flicks

HEYYY BLOG!

This month has been FUN! I have enjoyed getting to know each person deeper the past few weeks. Let me be first to say that it is weird and uncomfortable to let down walls with such a large group of people, but I have been welcomed well and appreciate all the ways that people have let me into their lives! While diving deep, we have taken some silly pics that capture the vibe of the Fellows! The shared album currently has 726 pictures and 97 videos!

<3, AG

To KNOW and LOVE Evy, you must KNOW how much she does not LOVE fish!

One of the things that Evy has shared with the Fellows is how much she hates fish of any kind. I am so proud of her for facing her fears by living at a house with koi fish, seeing pictures of Jenna bow fishing, and experiencing all the goldfish at the fair!! Go get a chocolate chip waffle as a treat cause you deserve it after all that!!!

HOWDY COWGIRL JENNA 🤠

Let me say that I am fully impressed by her pure talent. She rode a mechanical bull to the speed of 5 out of 8! Bull riding on its own is hard, but while “IT’S CORN! A BIG LUMP WITH KNOBS!” blared on speakers truly is out of this world. I am so glad I got to experience this with you, Jenna!

My Second month! crazy stuff

Hello Everyone! I am so excited to share what has been happening here in Raleigh.

First I wanted to take a second to thank everyone who donated and supported me financially for me to be here to experience the Lord like I have. I am excited to announce that the day before this program started I was officially fully funded. This was the biggest prayer answered and I am blown away by the genreosity and kindness of those around me. I never thought I would have the opportunity to be blessed the way I have been. So once again thank you for trusting the Lord and trusting me to follow his path.

Lets get into it!

This month has been amazing, and I have been having so much fun! We have really gotten into our classes for the fall now and it’s been so much fun! The first class we started was Just Leadership. We are learning about how to be good advocates and voices for God’s unheard people. We took a pilgrimage through downtown Raleigh one Friday morning and we were told of the citi’s origins, how things were covered up, and how to be a good neighbor. Another class we are taking is Family Systems. This class is about how families work and dives deep into how we were brought up, still caring family trauma, etc. So, as a psych major I am just loving it. We are also taking Bible classes, and this fall is the Old Testament, and I am learning so much about just the history and how Jesus was so present in the Old Testament, I truly had no clue. It is such an amazing insight with our teachers Ryan and Emily Walker, they are so wise and passionate about the word, it’s just beautiful.

I am so excited for what is to come. In November we are going to DC for the national conference for The Fellows Initiative and we are also going to Nicaragua!

Recommendations!

• NeighborHealth everyone should go there for their healthcare needs. (I work here)

• drinking coffee (even decaf) i just love coffee

• fishing (me and some fellows went fishing in a pond, best friday afternoon ever)

• playing outside!! any and everything play related, but more specially volleyball

• Song recs:

  • I’m still fine by The Red Clay Strays (live at the ryman)

  • Sleeping Alone by Flatland calvary

  • I’ll never let you go by Zach Webb

  • Open arms by gavn!

  • Creep by radiohead (glee version)

  • Waving through a window (dear evan hansen)

  • Seventeen (heathers)

  • Where did I go wrong by Crowe Boys

Talk to you guys next month - Jenna!!

My Second Blog Post

I went to Texas this past weekend (“this past weekend” meaning October 25th-27th). My good friend Barrett Conner is a very talented musician, and he had the opportunity to play in Dallas, Houston, and Austin. Also in Texas this weekend were some more of my good friends: Tristan, Luke, Owen, Tommy, and Drew. They are some of my closest friends from college, and I haven’t seen them since the summer. I was picked up from Dallas Fort Worth International by Luke, Tristan, and their friend Ben. I had met Ben before, and it was great to see him that night. We met the others at Whataburger. I don’t like Whataburger, but I did that night. We said our goodbyes to Ben (Ben it was good to see ya man), spent the night in Frisco, and then drove to Houston the next day.

It was a four hour drive to Houston, accompanied by Barrett and Tommy. I enjoyed catching up with them and talking about life. I’ve been told that Houston is the armpit of Texas. I kinda like Houston so I’ll call it my armpit of Texas. We also had a running joke to tell Luke that Houston is better than Dallas (he now lives in Dallas and is doing the Fellows program there). We all met up at the venue before Tristan, Owen, and I took our bags to the house we were staying at that night. The house belonged to Tristan’s friend. I didn’t believe in four story houses until that day. We unloaded our luggage and met them back at the venue, driving the opposite direction of a one way street only one time in the process.

Barrett Conner is a very talented musician. I don’t know much, but I know that well enough to say it two times in three paragraphs. I’ve seen Barrett perform many times, yet each time it feels like my first. I won’t talk about his performing because I believe that one day you’ll make your way to a Barrett concert (I believe in that more than four story houses). What I will talk about is the meaning behind this concert. To watch one of my best friends do what I—and many others—believe he is called to do is such a gift. When I say that he is talented, what I really mean to say is that he is special, and I hope that everyone has an opportunity to witness that someday.

We left Houston Sunday morning and drove two hours to Austin. This time I was with Tristan and Luke. Those two guys are my brothers (not by blood but there’s no better word I could use). Luke’s the reason I was in Texas that weekend, and I’m glad I got to thank him for that. Tristan is doing the Fellows program in Colorado Springs, and he and I had a great conversation about the past two months. The first thing we did in Austin was hit up Barton Springs, which is a natural pool just outside downtown Austin. Afterwards we grabbed some food, and then I was dropped off at Austin-Bergstrom International to fly back to Raleigh. I was picked up in Raleigh by my friends Ryan and Bryan (if you don’t know them you’re missing out). It’s a blessing to not have to worry about transportation after you get off of a plane. Thank you Ryan and Bryan.

I want to tell you about this song called “The Rabbit, the Bat, and the Reindeer” by Dr. Dog. I’ve been listening to it for a while now, but only recently have I figured out what it means (at least what it means to me). These are the lyrics to the end of the song:

“I’m gettin it back with that terrible feelin

My vision is cracked but it looks like it’s healin

I’m gettin it back like it’s four in the mornin

When the sun only shines cause it’s been given a warnin

I’m gettin it back with the rest of the leap year

I’m takin the rabbit, the bat, and the reindeer

I’m gettin it out, whatever I gotta keep in

I’m tellin the truths that I don’t when we pretend

Should we pretend?”

I’m pretty sure “the rabbit, the bat, and the reindeer” refers to Easter, Halloween, and Christmas. I can do without the bat, but that’s not the point. I think I got a lot back this weekend. I got a lot back eating Whataburger with my friends in Texas. I got a lot back listening to Drew talk about grad school in Texas. I got a lot back laughing with Owen. It’s in his genes to make people laugh. I got a lot back making the blinds go up and down by the push of a button in that four story house. Tristan and I really got a kick out of that. I got a lot back watching Tommy do wicked flips off of the diving board at Barton springs. I got a lot back watching Luke do an impersonation of a man formally known as “southern guy”. Next time you see me, ask me about southern guy. I got a lot back watching Barrett do the thing he loves and was made for, and I got a lot back when Ryan and Bryan lovingly picked me up from the airport to ask me about my weekend. I don’t know what “it” is that I got, and I don’t fully know what I did to lose it in the first place, but I do know that I got some of it back this weekend. I have no one to thank for that other than my aforementioned friends.

I’d be pretty naive to think that this song only has one meaning, and that the meaning of it is to illustrate my thoughts and feelings about this past weekend. Turns out I’m pretty naive, so if you told me that I’d probably believe it.

Not as much as four story houses though.

Love, Bailey