I’m starting to think that God really likes me.
We were talking the other day on the silent retreat, and I’m fairly certain that He does. Like a lot.
I love to make things feel special - I get that from my mom. And so when I know friends are coming into town, someone’s birthday or a day trip is coming up, I want to sink my teeth into the details and make an itinerary that the other person or people will enjoy.
God and I have never spent a whole day together, just the two of us. And so I was a little nervous on Sunday thinking about what I should plan. What would He want to do with me?
I asked Him if He wanted to go on a walk and He said sure. But I got distracted because I found the library off of the dining room at St. Francis and it looked so cozy. I was curled up on a comfy leather couch, sipping coffee, reading through Every Moment Holy liturgy books and eavesdropping on these older ladies having brunch, when I remembered I told God we’d go on a walk. Before I could apologize to Him, He told me He didn’t mind. That He was also comfortable in this little corner, that He liked watching me experience His daughters tittering over their breakfast in the other room, and that He had thought of me when these liturgies were being written. He knew I needed to read the one entitled For Beginning an Artistic Work that morning.
We eventually went on a walk, but I didn’t have anything interesting to say. I passed Emma and she was clearly having some good conversation with Him as she walked the Stations of the Cross. I thought harder about what He would want to talk about. He told me He was content just to walk with me. It reminded me of when I would drive with my dad to volleyball practice - blabbering nonstop about nothing of importanace. He wouldn’t say much, so I would ask him if I was boring him. He would always say “I just like hearing you talk.”
God and I sat on the enclosed porch and drew, copied down some quotes in my journal that I didn’t want to forget, read a few chapters of a good book, and processed through some prolonged hurts in the outdoor chapel. He never rushed me, never zoned out, didn’t seem to mind my distractions and random ideas.
It was a great day, one of my favorites. And it was confirmation of something I’ve suspected but was scared to say confidently, He likes being with me.
“How glorious the splendor of a human heart that trusts that it is loved!” - Brennan Manning
- Tessa