Hi blog!
Martha Anne here. Let’s get right into it. Buckle pup.
“Envy accuses God of not knowing what he’s doing or of not being faithful to what he’s promised to do. When you are convinced that a blessing that another person has ought to belong to you, you don’t just have a problem with that person, you have a problem with God. When you begin to question God’s goodness, you quit going to him for help. Why? Because you don’t seek the help of someone you’ve come to doubt.”
New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp, November 27
I’ve been learning a lot about honesty lately. Not because it’s been preached about in a sermon or I’ve outwardly read it in scripture, but because my friends are living their lives in ways that are just radical. It’s refreshing and enticing and truly comforting to sit amongst beautiful women (near and far) who understand the HEALING and COMMUNITY and LIFE that come in vulnerability.
Many of these thoughts are unkempt and chaotic still in my mind, but I want to note the small nuggets of radical honesty I’ve heard and witnessed over the past month. My hope is we both begin to string together a story about God’s desire for intimacy, connection, and flourishing.
First nugget of radical honesty, there are seasonal relationships and there are covenantal relationships. And the Lord gives us emotional boundaries because it’s hurtful to our souls to confuse the two or treat one as the other. This has been ROUGH for me to learn considering I so easily believe that if we’re not being completely vulnerable then we’re inauthentic with each other. God is teaching me a lot about showing up, submitting my desires, and waiting patiently for faithfulness in His design.
Second nugget: marriage and sex aren’t promised to us. And they aren’t all roses either!! They’re broken blessings. Our world has a knack for envying marriage and sex, which is absolutely exhausting. It’s so easy to look at the engagements flashed across social media and DOUBT that God is giving us life to the full. And when we envy other people’s relationships, it leads us to believe God isn’t giving us something we’ve been promised. We begin to believe we deserve blessings when in fact we deserve death on a cross. Only in looking to the cross and recognizing the grace and forgiveness we’re consistently given can we endure the false notions of the world.
Third nugget of radical honesty: we serve a God of abundance. How dare we think that God is LIMITING His love for us? How dare we question the love of a Father who’s own Son chose to die our death so we could spend eternity in His presence? How dare we think He wouldn’t do it over and over and over again? How dare we think we’re not His beloved? Oh what short-sighted beings we are. Lord help us in our unbelief.
Fourth nugget: UVA will always be good at basketball. And we’re good at football. Hoos don’t lose.
Fifth and final nugget of radical honesty: God’s not finished. He isn’t finished with us whatsoever. I’ve been dealing with anxiety for FAR too long. Anxiety that consumes my mind, my body, and discourages the freedom the cross provides.
“Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because whoever suffers in the body is done with sin. As a result they do not live the rest of their earthly lives for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.”
1 Peter 4:1-2
I don’t know about you, but my body has been through some suffering. Between the childhood trauma of losing a parent along with many other dear people to the anxiety that comes with food and alcohol at random times, my body has had enough. It’s exhausted and my mind is quickly following suit. And yet the one of the sweetest hopes that continues to get me up in the morning and on my knees before the Lord is the radical truth that God is not finished with me yet. This is not my final season. And this debilitating weight does not rule me.
Bless the Lord, O my soul! What cause we have to worship His holy name!
xoxo
Martha Anne