Hi everyone -
Y’all know what FOMO is right?
The fear of missing out.
Here are my cute as heck fellow fellows hanging out at waffle house on a snowy Friday morning.
TELL me this isn’t literally adorable.
Guess what - I willingly chose not to come. Not because I had anything else to do, but because I was tired and I wanted a morning in my home, making breakfast, on my own agenda.
So that’s what control can cost you. Fellowship. Among a host of other things.
I think I’ve quickly learned that I rationalize my fear of missing out by inducing my own choice. I can’t fear missing out if I’ve actively chosen to miss out. And why do I choose to miss out?
To assert my own power.
To feel as if I have control.
To do what I want to do when I want to do it without consideration of others.
And let me be the first to tell you how much of a damn privilege that is. It’s a privilege to be able to 1) have control be my coping mechanism and 2) to actually execute it.
Control has served me well. It’s protected me. It’s fought for me. It’s fought for others.
But it’s also crippling me. Because the truth is, the result of my daily trials and triumphs are not from a world spinning in chaos, but from the reign of the everlasting God who is in complete and careful control. God is ruling the earth with me in mind. He is ruling the earth FOR me, so that I can focus on our relationship together.
Part of me wishes giving up control was as simple as typing these words. The rest of me knows that I would crumble to pieces if this coping strategy was stripped from my hard drive in a matter of seconds.
So instead, it looks like gently moving the needle closer to God having complete control. Recognizing where I’d like to control myself or others, recognizing what that’s costing me or those around me, not shaming myself for adapting this mechanism of self-protection as a young child in the turmoils of the world, and seeking the prayer and wisdom of others walking alongside me.
Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take Him at His word. Just to rest upon His promise, just to know “thus saith the Lord!”
Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus Hymn
I’m looking forward to the sweetness that is to come with trusting in Jesus. May lent be a small demonstration of a lifetime to come of trusting in the Lord’s provision and steadfastness and deliverance. Amen.
xoxo,
Martha Anne