A man can be destroyed but not defeated. Ernest Hemingway
It's silly not to hope. It’s a sin he thought. Ernest Hemingway
Enlightenment does not come from a full stomach or a soft pillow. Conrad Anker
Love in practice is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams. Fyodor Dostoevsky
Respect is not a feeling. It is how we treat another person. Peter Scazzero
My comfort is that God governs the world. Jeremiah Evarts
Your quality of experience is based not on standards such as a time or ranking, but on finally awakening to an awareness of fluidity within action itself. Haruki Murakami
I believe that not of my own reason and power do I believe in my Lord or am able to come to Him. Martin Luther
One of the consolations that this time has brought is the space to read for myself. In case you don’t know already I really enjoy reading. That wasn’t always the case, I think I read maybe 40% of books assigned throughout middle school and high school (which is probably why I did so poorly in English). Forcing myself to read books I didn’t care for was rough. Undergrad came around and I began to enjoy the books that I was reading, thus making it much more pleasing to sit down and devour a book. The feeling never left, and since graduation I have probably averaged four books a month. Before anyone rolls their eyes, get real. Anyone can do this. I scored a 15% on verbal memory on an abilities test, which is just fancy for I read SLOW and it takes some time for me to remember the things I read.
Reading has become somewhat of a discipline over the years. For starters, it is a little chunk of my day where I am still and shut my mouth. It’s a time when the voice in my head still sounds like me, but is saying words that are not my own. The more I can lessen the amount I hear of myself, the more selfless I hope to become. Next, if you are logistical and progress means something, the ability to knock books off my list is satisfying. If I commit to reading 10 pages a day in a 200 page book, I will be done in 20 days. Up that page amount and I will be done much quicker, which means I can move on to another book. Or make it about time, if all else fails shooting to read for an hour is extremely settling and will usually push me along in reading.
The desire for reading and learning is out of a place of shaking my foundations. Through reading, I begin to unlearn my own thought-processes that may be harmful to my being and others. Reading different perspectives allows me to expand a net of acceptance in the world. I mentioned a quote from Matt Haig’s book Notes from a Nervous Planet a while ago that went:
“Reading isn’t important because it helps you get a job. It’s important because it gives you room to exist beyond the reality you’re given. It’s how humans merge. How minds connect. Dreams. Empathy. Understanding. Escape.”
Proper perception of the world we live and the people we love is fundamental in embracing the Kingdom of God here. If my bubble and my life is the only thing that speaks weight into who I am and who I understand God to be then I think it’d be better to be mute (that is a serious conjecture and I do not mean to demean the experience of mute people). Reason I say that is if I open my mouth with such a closed-minded mentality I can really only hurt myself/ the people I am speaking to. The fact of the matter is that it is part of the learning experience of communing with people. The embodiment of what I have been thinking has been said beautifully by the boys Penny and Sparrow on this Paste Magazine session. Listen to their whole set because the song “Eloise” continues to make me weep and hope, but if you can’t just go to 5:10.
My confidence has come from exploring and learning. My opinions mean nothing unless held up to the Light of Christ and still ring true. Anyways, I finished all of the Fellows-assigned-reading books last week, I will give thoughts and rank them as I find appropriate. (THESE ARE MY OPINIONS SHEESH)
Abba’s Child by Brennan Manning
Woof, Brennan is a picture of the grace of God for all of His creatures. Honest look into a man gripped by sin whilst trying to grapple with the goodness that a life with Christ brings. Notable sentiment here is that it is a very radical act to consider yourself a beloved son or daughter in God, and that is what we are called to do. Thanks to Adelaide for adding this to our list.
To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
Some of the best poetry I have read in a my lifetime…which isn’t a lot but to take John’s words as blessings over my days and circumstances felt a bit like the Psalms reworked into contemporary life. Not that the Psalms can’t speak to us and bless us now, John used his blessedness to bless his readers to feel comforted and prepared to follow Jesus.
Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Best book I have read on communing with other believers. If there are things to say that are seemingly new and effective, this book was probably the diving board in which they jumped off of. Loosely pulling from Martin Buber, Dietrich finds it necessary to recognize the divinity that is in other people, and that Christ is the supplier and sustainer of and community.
Water from a Deep Well by Gerald Sittser
This was really my first dive into church history and I wasn’t necessarily expecting that. The outline of following different movements and focusing on a particular few individuals who contributed significantly to the Christian experience. That kept things interesting and gave me some direction for who to read and explore when I do decide to go back in time. Sittser writes and explains well, probably based off that teaching background.
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero
There is a good amount of theoretical speech about what it means to love well (what is considered the point of having an emotionally healthy spirituality) but there is just as much practical disciplines to enact on to do just that. Will suggest this to most people, need to have a humility to give issues up to the Lord within it.
The Universe Next Door by James Sire
James accomplished what he set out to do—clearly catalog the major world views that have developed in our time as humans. By consistently tracking each world view in the answering of seven (and sometimes eight) distinct questions the read was laid out well for comparison.Does a good job of allowing readers to stay at a birds eye view by explicitly answering the questions.
The Way of the Heart by Henri Nouwen
Henri sits in my pantheon of authors who have grabbed my hand and walked me towards a proper relationship with God. This book includes his thoughts on different disciplines in (but not limited to) the Christian tradition. Definitely leans towards that mystical battle of allowing oneself to do nothing in a discipline, hoping to receive something.
Drama of Scriptures by Craig Bartholomew and Michael Goheen
For a book on the entire biblical narrative I thought Bartholomew and Goheen did a good job bringing out the application side of things. In terms of a biblical studies book there weren't any huge leaps made for fresh content, but you don't get many good books these days that balance the interpretation of scriptures and what we are supposed to do with it.
Walk, Sit, Stand by Watchman Nee
This was a short read but a worthwhile one. Watchman brings in a Chinese perspective on the book of Ephesians and what Paul is getting at. To see oneself in three different stages is all important in seeking God to be sovereign over the entirety of our lives.
Every Good Endeavor by Timothy Keller
Tim, Tim, Tim: where shalt I begin. I am enthralled by this man, and he may be my favorite theological and anthropological voice as far as contemporaries go. This book may have beat a dead horse as far as work as theology goes. I could be very wrong, but in previous books I stuck with it, but this one may have followed some rabbit holes I wasn’t interested in. For a similar book I enjoyed a little more, look into Garden City by John Mark Comer.
Life Together in Christ by Ruth Haley Barton
Ruth is a spectacular writer and theologian. The reason her two books are so low on my list is due to the fact that I enjoy a bit more heady-theological take on things like community in this book, hence my enjoyment of Life Together, which this book is somewhat a jump from. Ruth takes somewhat difficult sentiments laid out by Dietrich and makes them digestible, just not my taste. (My suggestion is to read Dietrich’s book if you want depth, this would be a good intro)
Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton
Again, Ruth is an amazing writer. I received a ton of guidance and wisdom from her book Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership. This was another, dare I say, watered down approach to concepts that Richard Foster touched on in Celebration of Disciplines, which is my suggestion for those seeking deeper understanding and possibly more difficult to grasp concepts. This book is for the introductory to sacred disciplines, it involves practical advice and Ruth’s own commentary.
Self to Lose - Self to Find by Marilyn Vancil
Marilyn introduces the Enneagram in a relatively already-spoken-of way. As in there wasn’t really any unique teaching, other than there was a larger emphasis on our true self being the essence God created us to be. As a strong adherer to “If you aren’t saying anything new then why am I reading your work?” this didn’t blow my mind. BUT for people who had no background in the Enneagram, I am sure this is a great start, as most of the other books out there do not have a strong Christian link. My suggestion: The Sacred Enneagram by Christopher Heuertz.
April is coming to an end, we have been Zoom calling for the entirety of the month and I am just ready to see my pals. I miss em! Grateful for the Fellows at large for giving us leaders like Ashley who lays down her life for the cause of us engaging with Christ in our life that makes an impact. Thanks to our teachers for choosing books that push us and at times, comfort us.
Thanks,
Austin