Junior year of college I had a canvas above my bed with the words “hallelujahs are all around” written on it- a line from one of my favorite Penny and Sparrow songs. So much of my life though has been spent living out of the following line, “but the roof is caving in”.
I choose too often to see the brokenness, the mess, all the times that the roof has caved in instead of the hallelujahs that are all around me. I choose to see the world through clouded, distorted eyes of bitterness more than I would care to admit. It’s the recurring theme of my life.
But I want to see that all is not lost.
I want to see the light in the cracks. I want to see the love that is all around me. I want to see abundance where I see bleakness.
……….
This summer when I was interviewing with St. Davids, I was asked by my now boss about what I admire in older mentors of mine. I had listed some things, and when I finished he told me about marigolds. He prefaced the story with the fact that he wasn’t a gardener, so he wasn’t sure how true any of this was, but the sentiment had stuck with him regardless.
When other plants are planted and rooted near marigolds, he told me, there is more growth than there would otherwise be. They flourish. The marigolds increase resilience in the plants around them and protect the soil.
And so I can’t help but be especially grateful for these friends of mine, and this whole program. They are marigolds; people that speak life, that call out the good, that help me grow. People I am undeserving of.
I am grateful for the way they help me see the hand of the Lord through everything, and that His hallelujahs are all around and abounding. Even when, and especially when, I feel the roof is caving in.
What a gift it is- to be in this place at this time, to have each other.
monthly music recommendations: leaning on you by HAIM, go on by harolddd, redemption by nathaniel rateliff, all the other lovers by field guide, effy stonem by nick mono, sunday soda by french cassettes
—Jen
