From dust you came and to dust you will return.
I heard this sentence spoken to every person that attended the ash Wednesday service when lent started earlier this month. It’s a pretty sobering reminder of how small and insignificant we are in the face of eternity. As John Richmond put it rather bluntly this past weekend, “You are an irrelevant fossil.” Taken out of context, this stings a little but when you really think about it, it’s true. I will die one day and after a while, no one will remember me, or care. This simply means that the way I care so deeply about what other people think on earth doesn’t matter and the only thing that does is what the Lord says of my identity.
Fellows has given me so many opportunities to hear wisdom from amazing men and women of faith. It’s a true gift and I’m trying to figure out how to not be overwhelmed by the sheer vastness of the information I’m taking in and attempting to process. I left this weekend at the lake where we heard from John Richmond and his wife, Linda, feeling a little bit questioning. I couldn’t help but think, do I really get it, this faith thing?
On one end, I know where I stand with the Lord. I know that I have a relationship with Jesus Christ and I’m walking with him. But on the other end of the spectrum, I find myself wondering if I’m truly living out of that in my day to day life. Shouldn’t a life with Christ transform every part of how I live out my days? I can get caught up in routine, just mindlessly going from thing to the next thing and it feels so meaningless. In college I found myself in this place of sectioning out parts of my life - like ministry, going to class, being at home, whatever - all being separate parts of life and the way I loved God looked different in each one.
I don’t want to live like that. My relationship with the Lord should flow out of everything I do. Every single thing. I don’t want to live in a false self, out of touch with who I really am and who the Lord truly created me to be.
There’s a lot spinning around in my mind of how I can attempt to apply this:
Being available, allowing God to interrupt my plans
Simplifying the things that don’t matter, and learning how to say no well
A mindset of eternity
Stop waiting for things to happen at “the right time”
It's easy to listen to an older, wiser believer and doubt that I could ever reach a place that they are with the Lord. But ultimately, it’s not a measure in comparison of faith. I’m 23 years old, I’m not supposed to be wise - I have little to none figured out. My life is a process of sanctification, always moving deeper and farther in with the Lord. And as Jason pointed out in class today, the more you learn, the less you actually know. Questions lead to questions… it’s this beautiful, strange, frustrating, edifying process of walking with Christ that will take a lifetime and is supposed to.
Dust to dust.
- morgan