Good Gracious! What a freaking month February has been. Full of laughs, joy, birthdays, retreats, lent, sunshine (thank God), work, play, weights, reading, movies, conversations, laments, tests of patience, depth, discipline, growth, awareness, face times, the holy spirit, and just about everything else under the sun. I truly believe when I look back on highlights from my fellows year I will think of February. The problem ahead of me as I begin writing this blog, for the love, is what the heck to write about! No I don’t already have it planned out, I never do. I have found it is more fun and freeing to just start typing, or pecking like a chicken, and allow my words to begin to write themselves. Aight folks, an idea has entered my grey matter and I am just going to go for it! Enjoy these highlights from the month… The title will be made clear in number 4 so make sure you read until the end!
Birthdays!: The month began with some exciting expectations of the birthdays to come. Our very own Tommy Joe, Sarahhhh W, and Morgggie Phillips all had their very special 23rd birthdays this month! Their celebrations were truly such a fun time for our fellows group as a whole. From kings corner, to karaoke, to the dance party of a lifetime we truly celebrated a lot throughout the first weeks of February! It was a joy to get to celebrate their birthdays, and definitely brought gratitude to my heart. I am thankful for what each of them bring to the group. Tommy Joe: the perfect balance of joy and wisdom. Morgan: her heart that sees the best in others. Sarah: her desire to right the wrongs. If you haven’t gotten to meet and get to know them yet YOU MUST!
Lent!: The practice of lent is something that I will admit I am a little unaccustomed too. It was one of the practices of our faith that my family just didn’t put as much emphasis on as we grew up. I was approached with the idea after attending Vintage Church in college and quickly fell in love with the vision of the practice. It truly is such a great way to try and dedicate the 4o days leading up to the resurrection of our savior. Personally I decided to give up Tik Tok for the month, and take on a space of daily meditation or emmanuel prayer. Although i’ll admit I haven’t practiced solitude daily, it truly has been an amazing experience for me. To sit in silence, meditate on God’s word, and to focus inwardly on the holy spirit that resides inside of me has already taught me so much.
Tears!: If you know me well you know I don’t cry often. This isn’t due to lack of deep emotion or feelings, but honestly due to the amount of vulnerability I feel when I cry in front of people. I feel like tears bring forth a cleansing of the soul, which is such a valuable experience to be apart of with another. Anyways, on this past Friday we were headed up to a retreat with John Richmond! What an incredible time full of fun, insights for life, and quality time spent together. We drew names out of a hat to see who would be our road trip buddies ,and I was blessed with Brooke, Tommy, and Austin! We piled into my Jeep ;) (@Trey) and headed off to the Lake. It began to rain and if i’m being honest there were so many times the clarity of my vision was decent at best. I saw my phone light up from a text from my Father so of course I asked my dear friend Tommy to read it because I am such a safe driver. The text read; “If I haven’t told you lately how proud I am of you, let me say it now. You are awesome! You are on the starting lineup of an amazing rest of your life. Live it well.” Tears. These words from my father truly mean’t so much to my heart. My dad has an incredible story of redemption, but that doesn’t mean his story hasn’t impacted our relationship. For years I thought I had to earn my dads approval, and live up to his standards for success. I told myself In order to be loved my him it took performance, and accomplishment. This is a heavy burden to bare as all young men long to look into their Dad’s eyes and hear the words “you are enough”, “you have what it takes”, I am proud of you”. Hearing Tommy read these words from my Father just struck a tender part in my heart. It truly is the small, out of the blue moments in life. The tears came slowly, I tried to deflect of course, but then allowed Tommy to press into the emotions I was feeling and it became a beautiful car ride through the rain, and amongst the tears.
Deer In the Headlights!: The reason for the title, my favorite night of February, a moment I will never forget. Driving home from the Byron’s after a glorious night I felt the Holy Spirit stronger than I have in many years. The goosies (as Pauline likes to call them) quickly spread over my body as I became aware of the presence of the Spirit in my car. As I worshiped, the Lord filled my heart, called me by my true names, and allowed me to feel his love wash over me. I ended up parked in our driveway deep in prayer, and full of gratitude to the Lord for allowing me to see and feel him. These moments are hard to find amongst our busy schedules, bustling lives, and never ending agendas, but he is there. As I said my amens I had a gut check feeling to turn on my high beams. Grazing off in the field, past the pine trees lining our backyard, were four deer minding their own business. To most people they would think nothing of this encounter, but to me I was hit with a reminder of how personal our God is to US! O how well he knows us each individually. Nature, hunting, and deer have all played a special part in my life and my faith in Christ. The woods is where I hear the Spirit the clearest, and deer trigger those memories and so many joyous experiences from hunting over the years with my father and friends. God is personal. He knows our hearts and how to connect with us on a Intimate level that others might not understand. He speaks through the wind, and the sounds of nature and praise be to God I was listening on this February night.
“God may I never forget the month of February 2021. From the growth in self awareness, an increased capacity in relationships, and memories with many people I care deeply for, Lord don’t let me forget. Thank you for being a God who is personal. Who knows our inmost beings, what drives us, and what allows our souls to come alive. Lord, help me to find you amongst the chaos of daily life, and if I’m not looking please just continue to shout louder :) - G$ 3/2/21