Every church I’ve ever attended up to this point has a modern, non-denominational one with the theatre-esque venues and concert-style worship. Even in my small Southern college town, we played either Way Maker and Reckless Love about every other week. So, when I signed up to do Fellows at an Anglican church, I knew I’d be in for a different experience.
About a year ago, I was in a book club with my RUF ministry called You are What You Love by James KA Smith. The book is about discipleship and what sorts of things make strong followers of Jesus. Too often, discipleship in the church today focuses on what we KNOW about Jesus and the gospel. This not inherently bad, but discipleship ought to flow out of a more holistic understanding of who we are as humans. We are not just thinking things but are primarily beings of desire. What we desire channels our attention and time (and even our desire to acquire knowledge). And as habitual creatures, what we desire will continue bringing us back to those actions and behaviors. Thus, Smith’s core message is this:
“You are what you love because you live toward what you want.” (pg. 12)
With this in mind, Smith says discipleship is the endless recalibrating of the heart towards God and what God desires for creation. It focuses less on information in the head and reformation. In doing so, we must unlearn certain worldly desires and rituals and replace them with more godly ones. This is where Smith highlights the values of liturgies. When we engross ourselves in liturgies indexed to the kingdom of God, we slowly tilt the compass of our heart back to due North.
This is a gross simplification. There is plenty more I could say and share about it. Hit me or Brooke up if you wanna talk more. I highly recommend. After reading this book, I could embrace stepping foot into the liturgical church that is Apostles. After 9 months of services, I can tell it has made a difference within me.
Sure, the first few months felt foreign, just as any transition can be. The collects were worded a little strange to me, and I knew pretty much none of the hymns we sing. And yeah, I don’t often have the same go-get’em energy leaving church that my previous non-denominational churches instilled. But overtime, I could tell that my relationship with the Lord frequently felt more connected. My mind would wander less often from Him, and my prayer life was more consistent.
I had an even more concrete example of how liturgies shaped me recently. I left town for a weekend and attended another church’s service for the first time in months. And I found that I was missing certain prayers and rhythms from Apostles! Now that is something I expected when I first attended Apostles in September.
I’m a firm believer in the power of liturgy now, which is funny because when I first started my walk with Christ, that word made me squirm. It took several months of me leaning into the liturgies to get here, but that’s just like any sort of habit that you form that is good for you. It is hard to start a routine of working out or eating healthy. Overtime, though, it feels completely normal, and deviating from that rhythm feels foreign. They are called spiritual disciplines for a reason: they require some discipline to do them long enough to feel a noticeable difference. I’m looking forward to another year of recalibration at Apostles after Fellows ends :)
For the love one final time,
Austin