I recently read a book by Kierkegaard called Repetition that poses some ideas that may be helpful as Fellows comes to an end for our class. The basic idea is that “repetition and recollection are the same movement, except in opposite directions, for what is recollected has been, is repeated backward.” We can recollect memories, moments, and feelings that have already happened and still feel them intensely, but it’s not exactly the same as experiencing them for the first time. This leads the narrator, Constantin Constantius, to the question of whether repetition is possible in these experiences. He describes trying to repeat a trip to Germany but finds that the pleasures and events that brought him great joy the first time around aren’t the same. In fact, he actively despises them. He comes to the conclusion that repetition isn’t possible. There are some other things that make up this book, mainly involving a young man that chooses Constantin as his confidant as he hashes out his feelings for a girl, but I’ll let you read that yourself if you’re interested. You get the gist of what’s happening here, repetition is impossible to achieve.
The scary thing about leaving something like the Fellows is feeling lost and trying to repeat what was done here. After May 16th, our group won’t look the same. We aren’t required to do anything together. Our schedules won’t align. It will take infinitely more effort for us to be good friends to each other. To love each other well. It’s important that we create our own traditions, our own rhythms. The danger comes in seeking repetition. I pray that we avoid that mistake and forge our way forward to what beautiful things God has in store for us if we pursue Him and pursue each other. I hope we can recollect and remember this year and our feelings about this year as it was, in and of itself.
In the words of Jake Crutchfield, “It’s been a good ride.” (Or something like that)
For the last time, Cheers!
Cam
P.S.
Randomly on a page by itself in Repetition is this (misquoted) Shakespeare quote: “Better well hanged than ill wed.” That sounds like some great dating and marriage advice to me!