Although the wintery magic of what December would usually look and feel like in Raleigh was absent this year, the presence of God during the month was just as piercing as one of those cool winter nights. I look back on December and almost laugh to myself about how perfect God’s timing is. A mixture of anticipating the coming of Jesus, Ashley’s beautifully decorated house, efling our secret santas, and great reading choices throughout the month of December made for a perfect way to start off 2022.
The biggest thing I learned this month through the readings of The Way of the Heart by Henri Nouwen and Abba’s Child by Brennan Manning was, how Brennan Manning says, “The imposter must be called out of hiding, accepted, and embraced. He is an integral part of my total self.” For the longest time, I’ve noticed the part of myself that isn’t really my true self and usually deal with this “false-self” or “imposter” by either ignoring it, trying to get rid of it, or believing that it’s my true-self. But after reading and reflecting on the imposter, I’ve come to an appreciation of that part of me that acknowledges my brokenness and tears down the idea that I’m anywhere close to perfect. I think it brings me closer to Jesus because it’s a confession of my need for help.
As for looking ahead to 2022, I’m excited and anticipating the confrontation with my false-self. It’s my belief that recognizing that the true-self and false-self are both very real parts of our earthly bodies will bring us closer to Jesus. We can’t be our true-selves all the time because we’re only a sliver of the perfection of Jesus. But as followers of Christ, we can’t continue to believe that the false-self is who we are. Here’s to a year where every day brings the imposter out into the light and a year of becoming more and more like our true-selves.
-Jacob McCarthy