Where do I begin?

This is SO exciting!! My first blog! I always thought it would be cool to be a blogger- so I guess now I get to live out my dreams.

I hope over the next nine months you feel like you have an inside look into my life and maybe even feel like you have a friend on the other side of this screen!

So first blog… where do I begin?

This past month has been a whirlwind but I have a feeling that’s how the whole year will be. I wanna make sure I soak it all up because man has the start been sweet!!

To start the year off, I’m gonna share a few things I’m already learning:

1. I’m not good at slowing down

I guess I’m more extroverted than I thought? Or maybe this is just how it goes in the beginning. Our schedule is jam-packed in the best way possible, so finding time to slow down and be still is a challenge but something I hope to grow in.

2. Vulnerability is scary and uncomfortable, but so beautiful

We’ve had the opportunity to share our stories over the past couple weeks and let each other in more than I have with some of my closest friends (crazy, I know.) It’s been one of the most nerve-racking and beautiful parts of the program so far and I’m so excited for the way God is going to open my heart to those around me and to Him.

3. God is in every space and detail

I find it easy to separate sacred from secular instead of inviting God into every space or even recognizing that He’s already in every space. He’s everywhere. In everything. Thank you, Mary Young, for this reminder:)

4. The Fall Camp hoedown will most certainly not be my last hoedown

Who was gonna tell me how much fun Do-Si-Doing is? This may be a bold statement but I probably had more fun than the students. I’d also like to take this moment to say leading youth at Apostles has been such a highlight for me so far!

5. Answering work phone calls takes more courage than expected

I’m so thankful for my internship placement and know that I’m learning new skills each day, the first skill being getting used to and building the confidence to pick up the phone! It’s okay if you laugh at this.

6. God is here; I’m the one who fails to show up to Him

He’s always here. It’s often me who lacks awareness of His presence amidst every day life. So I’m learning what it looks like to show up to Him.

7. Pickleball will become a frequent activity

There’s not much else to add. I love pickleball and love how much people in Raleigh love it too. If you can’t find me, catch me on the court.

8. My fellow Fellows and church friends are a gift and God is so purposeful to place me back in Raleigh

I’ll never not thank God for his intentionality and kindness in bringing me to Raleigh to be a part of this program. I know it’s only the beginning but I have a feeling my fellow Fellows and the Apostles community are going to impact my life deeply (they already have!)

Well, I’m pumped for this year. I can’t wait to continue sharing the ways God is present and at work through my time as a Fellow!

May He bless and keep you,

Meg

My Strange Addiction: Crayon Labeling

Hi, current friends, new friends, and blog friends!

My name is Linda May 😊!! I am soo excited to be here and to be able to share with you all a peek into what life has been like in Raleigh so far! In the Fellows Program, we all can work a part-time job. I am pumped to work at the Church of the Apostles and join the children’s ministry team (eek!). I get to help organize, create, be a piece of the church body, and much more. Whatever the children’s ministry needs help with, I am your girl.

Recently, I have been introduced to the label-making machine. …. Yeah. …Guys. I really love this thing (I have already used an entire roll of labeling tape). And if I am being honest, I may have gotten in a little too deep into labeling. I will give you some insight into what got me to question myself and how I may be obsessed with labeling things.

Two words: Crayon. Carousel.

*Alt. Two words/AKA: Temptation Island*

In my most recent project, I was in a swift stride, labeling every crayon in the Sprouts (the name of one of the Nursery rooms) classroom. I would go into each section of the crayon carousel by color and label the corresponding room that it belonged to. 100+ crayons later, I was a dangerous woman. Now, was this the most helpful activity? Debatable. Did I further the good of the group by labeling crayons? Maybe not. But was I killing it?! ABSOLUTELY. Did I feel my power growing with every crayon I marked?! Um-HECK YES!

So yeah, I was on top of the world

…Until I wasn’t.

Spoiler alert: I had to stop labeling crayons. I was gently reminded that I was not brought into this role in children’s ministry to solely mark crayons in the corresponding room they belonged in. There was more to my dream job than crayon labeling.

Sometimes, I get stuck labeling crayons that go beyond the more profound meaning than just a crayon. In life, I can get comfortable somewhere, know what I am good at, and keep doing it. The crayon labeling was nice. It was not scary, and it was not new, and it felt safe.

Going into this year, I felt very resistant to change. I love my Virginia home, community, job, friends, and life. I felt safe and comfortable in the familiar, and I wasn't ready to relinquish the control I thought I had over my college life. Yet, I am discovering that amidst this churning and resistant feeling, I can trust that the Lord is doing good things in Raleigh. I do not need to be my own savior, and I do not have to understand every aspect of my new life immediately. I can still take moments to miss and cry and say goodbye to my college life while laughing, being silly, trying new things, and making such sweet and new friendships. The great thing is that both of these things can co-exist with God. I am grateful for how the Lord sees me so clearly. How he sees what my heart is made for. He knows there is more to my life than I feel comfortable with, and He has such good plans for me. Here I am!

Father, thank you that I do not need to label any more crayons.

#IamsoexcitedtobewithmyRaleighFellowsfam #firstblogpostIhopethateveryonelikesit #hashtag

Written With Love,

Linda May (LM)

Let’s get rooted

First blog alert !!!

Here we go! I’m officially a month into Raleigh fellows. It is more than anything I could ever imagine. I’m already grateful for the love, joy, tears, challenges, lessons, and new opportunities. Let’s start with some general updates about what happened in September. 

I started my journey down to Raleigh quite a mess. I cried the entire drive from Richmond, VA to Raleigh, NC. I think I was processing a lot of emotions from graduation and leaving my childhood home. But so quickly I was welcomed into a warm and inviting home at the Patel’s house! Living with the Patel’s has been such a blessing so far. Even though their mini labradoodle is quite literally obsessed with me, we’ve all been getting along so well. On my first night, I used my tool kit (thx for that dad) and felt so settled and grounded in my new space. Since arriving in Raleigh, I’ve really been trying to authentically be myself. 

At our orientation lake retreat, I spent most mornings sitting by the lake enjoying the water. I also really enjoyed taking people out on the jet skis for rides on the lake. So excited to have 9 new best friends. Raleigh Fellows doesn’t joke around with friendships! These people will literally be your new best friends within the first week of knowing them. 

September was also full of a lot of firsts. First youth group (aka the deal), first day of work (thanks for all the prayers btw, I’m officially working as the communications and marketing coordinator at Mission Triangle), first retreat, first young adult ministry, and first girls night (mmgpn: iykyk). I have loved adjusting to the new rhythm and schedule of the fellows program. I also love having the freedom to add in my own interests. I’ve been running around the neighborhood recently, to get a better feel for my surroundings and just to move my body! Speaking of movement please ask me how hard I boogied at our hoedown throw down line dancing night at fall camp (hint: I was REALLY sweaty).

So I wanted to try this whole writing thing but truthfully I’m a BIG list person, so buckle up we are changing gears!

What has God been teaching me?

• Be slow to speak, quick to listen 

• What does it mean to make roots? Being present, being all in, giving my attention and time to those around me 

• Why Raleigh? What if He takes away the comfort of familiarity, will I still trust in how He’s called me here? Still working through this, I think God will slowly reveal things to me as I continue to discern and listen. Familiarity and comfortability is an easy appeal, but I can already tell the Lord is leaning me off of what I know and what is easy to me.

• How to be a leader? At my job at Mission Triangle, we’ve been doing a staff devotional where we discuss how to lead like Jesus. I’ve learned so much about humility and grace. 

Okay now some fun facts I just couldn’t end this blog post without:

Things to know:

1. You can kill cockroaches

2. Caroline Simas is the Raleigh Fellows mascot 

3. Daisy (the mini labradoodle) is literally obsessed with me 

4. Linda May is a rat (but the good kind)

5. Don’t take your shoes off or they will be gift wrapped 

6. I fell in love with pit vipers

LAST THING! I decided I wanted to end each blog post with a REPORT from that month: 

Guidelines on the REPORT:

R- what I’m reading (scripture/ book)

E- something fun I’m eating

P- what music I’ve been playing

O- something I’m obsessed with

R- recommendation on something to try/do

T- how I’m treating myself 

September REPORT: 

R- I’m reading Generous Justice by Tim Keller & Philippians 

E- I’m eating Trader Joe's chicken chow mein 

P- I’m playing Coast to Coast by Houndmouth 

O- I’m obsessed with the golf range (dragging fellows there one by one)

R- I recommend calling your college best friends

T- I’m treating myself by running to move my body 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:6-7

With all the love, Maddie Roberts

{Insert Trendy & Spiritual Goodbye Heading Here}

It is officially crazy that the Raleigh Fellows Program is coming to a close. It feels like just yesterday we were sitting awkwardly with each other for the first time in the lounge at the church. What a year it’s been and what a gift it was. I’m sure that gift will keep on giving for a long long time. Nevertheless there is a job here to finish with this final blog post, and that job will be done. Some highlights from my April included but are not limited to our time at the study center in Chapel Hill, writing a rule of life and visiting Asheville (my future homeland). 

The two sessions that we had with Matt and Andrew of the UNC study center were truly splendid. You know that I really enjoyed this because it pains me to admit that there is anything good going on in Chapel Hill. We spent a lot of time discussing vocation and calling all the while receiving two informative packets that I will certainly be holding on to. Despite having a plan for the next little while with Young Life, my time at the study center affirmed feelings on my end towards the future and will only help me be open-handed with the Lord when I refer back to my notes. I’m also excited to use my time at the center as a reference and resource for when I move onto something new. Furthermore, I have been working on building a rule (or rhythm) of life and I’m excited for how it will impact my life after the program ends. The idea here is to incorporate things that you want to pursue in life and turn it into a rhythm. Some things in my rhythm so far are a two hour time of solitude once a month, practicing examine biweekly and sabathing (maybe this isn’t how you’re supposed to say that) every week. I am also going to incorporate prayer daily (hopefully haha) and time to call old friends and grab a beer with new friends. It’s been such a cool practice to attempt establishing a rhythm of life and I’m excited for the tweaks that God makes in it as time goes on. Lastly but not least(ly), I visited Asheville, NC. This is where I will be going on Young Life staff, and I had a great visit. Getting to meet so many people in the area was a blast, and it was sweet to think of how God has built a community of so many people there who love him. I am excited to be a part of it! But also dreadfully sad to be leaving Raleigh. I feel like God is going to teach me a lot in my transition to Asheville so I’m expectant of that good stuff. 

There it is. The last fellows blog is officially accomplished. It has truly been a pleasure getting to share about my year on this blog. I’ve also loved reading about the rest of the fellows on this blog. It is really sad that the program is almost over, but instead of being sad I’m just going to be thankful that it has been so rich and such a blessing. There are so many people God has chosen to impact me deeply, and that is something worth praising!

That's all folks

Dang y’all, it’s really over. At this point it feels like we are doing everything for the last time, and even writing our last blog is a somber moment. Fellows has been an awesome experience where I have learned a lot, met so many great people, and I think I have grown a lot as a person. I’m so glad I made the last-second decision to do Raleigh Fellows, and to join this quirky group. I am looking back at the first day of the program in September and laughing, as I was kind of freaking out that I had made a mistake. Since then, it has been a great experience filled with retreats, classes, work, roundtables, and fun hangouts. Although I have known when the program was going to end for months, I am sad now that we are here. I have loved my time here, and it makes me sad that my time in this program has come to an end. We still have our end of year dinner and end of the year retreat which I think will be great opportunities to reflect on the year, to discuss what we have appreciated most about the program, and to spend one last retreat together as a group. Although I am sad that Fellows is over, I know I will always look back on this year with fond memories, and I am excited to see what happens in the next stage of all of our lives.

-Neil Evett

Give us this day our daily bread

Hey blog! Can you believe it!!!! We’ve reached the last blog. Where’d all the time go???

The last blog is kind of a lot of pressure. How do I tie this up nicely? Should I just recap the whole year and all my highlights? I mean, I guess I could. But I’m not going to. I’m going to end my blogging career talking about the Lord’s Prayer.

This weekend I was in Charlottesville  (go hoos)  and I visited the church I attended in college. We talked about the Sermon on the Mount and the Lord’s Prayer. One of the main points of the whole sermon was focused around the phrase, 

“Give us this day our daily bread.”

Jesus doesn’t ask for an abundance of bread. He doesn’t ask God to provide him with tomorrow’s bread or the week’s supply of bread. He asks God for the bread needed for that day. I feel like this year was one marked by God’s provision of my daily bread. Day by day, month by month, the Lord gave me exactly what I needed at that moment. 

I came to Raleigh grieving the end of college and feeling slightly uprooted from all that I’ve known. In those moments, God gave me my daily bread by providing me a new community full of beautiful people who embraced me and loved me. My nine other fellows are so special and I’ve never grown so close so quickly to a group of people before. Ever. And it’s because of God’s daily provision. 

He provided me with a host family who I quickly came to love. Through His daily provision, the strangers who were helping me carry all my stuff to their guest bedroom quickly became the people who felt like real family to me. Marilyn, Matt, Tucker, Hannah, and Virginia have shown me what true gospel hospitality looks like. I hope we can all be friends forever. I love them so dearly and it’s because of the little moments I’ve shared with them… the daily-bread-moments,  if you will. 

Mary Ellen Bradford has become the older sister I never had and didn’t know I needed. She’s someone who holds my feelings and thoughts with grace and compassion. Her kindness makes me want to be kinder. I just think that we were destined to be friends. In the day by day, God provided me with Mary Ellen and I really could not be more grateful.

I’ve always wanted a mentor who can pour wisdom and truth into my life. And so God gave me Meg Bach. Wednesday night dinners at Meg’s house have become a sacred and special time for me. Throughout the year, God has used each meeting with Meg to encourage, challenge, and grow me. I hope to be half the woman that Meg Bach is. God provided me with one of the strongest models of faithfulness and devotion through her. 

I could go on and on about all the different ways that God provided for me this year (there truly are so many!). But the point I’m trying to make is that these special relationships and the things I’ve learned through these people didn’t just come all at once. Day by day, God slowly introduced these people into my life. He slowly grew these relationships. In His daily provision, He was doing a work here in Raleigh that would be so utterly transformative for me. As I stand here at the end of the year, I look back and see how God was slowly piecing all of it together. He gave me my daily bread and I’m finishing the year so full and satisfied.

My hope is that the rest of my life is lived this way: not asking God for my life’s worth of bread, but just simply waiting expectantly for my daily provision. My prayer is that my hands remain wide open for what the Lord has for me and the faith to trust that He gives me exactly what I need, no more and no less. Feeling fully known and loved, I am stepping into the rest of my life knowing my Father in heaven is delighted to provide for me. 

It’s been so good here. Thank you Jesus for all of it! 

Peace and blessings,

Emily 🥰😍👋

Caamp Enthusiast (Vol. Last)

Hey y’all! The end is finally upon us and Fellows is coming to a close. While somethings will be staying the same, I’m really excited for the opportunities ahead. While I will be staying at RHP for the summer, I will also be starting at Hope Reins as a Program Specialist. I have never worked with horses (lowkey scared of them), but I am really excited for this opportunity as it seems like a really awesome fit for what I want to pursue as a career. These past 9 months have been crazy in terms of what we have learned and I feel as if I haven’t had tons of time to process all of it throughout Fellows. While I see this summer as a time of fun and adventure, I think it will be awesome to take a step back and slowly process what we learned. Thankful for all that Fellows taught me and all the friendships/relationships that were formed over the year. Looking forward to what God’s next steps for me are!

IMA

Active April

Y’ALL the sun has been OUT, Raleigh is GREEN, and the pickleball courts have been POPPING. Truly nothing makes me come alive like some warm and sunny weather. This past month I have gone on numerous long walks around my neighborhood where I have been overwhelmed by the beauty of nature, matched with a feeling of intense gratitude that I get to live here. I love the reminder of God’s goodness that I get from enjoying his creation and remembering he created me with the same intentionality. Raleigh is beautiful in the Spring and the luscious green leaves everywhere have been giving me life! 

April has also been an active month in terms of work and activities. Between Holy Week, figuring out plans for post fellows, and squeezing in all the must-dos on my Raleigh bucket list, April has kept me on the grind. The good news is that Jesus rose from the grave regardless of if all my work got done, we found a place to live after fellows (and I have a job), and we even fit in a spontaneous trip to the beach on a random Saturday afternoon, praise God!! Despite the weird phenomenon where life seems to start speeding up as summer approaches, I have been trying my best to soak up every moment and not take for granted these last days of the program. THAT IS RIGHT, we are t-minus 7 days left of being a Raleigh Fellow, WILD. 

With the end of sight, this month has also been one of reflection and anticipation. I truly can not express enough just how sweet these past nine months have been. Since the day I arrived, I have felt nothing but welcomed. It is so clear to me that the Lord called me here to Raleigh and he has taken such good care of me every step of the way. He has shown me an exceptional portrayal of the body of Christ through our church community, He has taught me what faithful Christian leadership looks like through my church staff that I have the privilege to work with, He has given me great friends to laugh with and be challenged by, and He has taught me how to draw close to Him and rest in His comfort. This year was not without its hard moments, but I still have nothing but good things to say about it! There were lessons learned in all of it and I definitely think I am coming out a stronger version of myself because of it. 

I cannot wait to really settle down into this life I have begun to build here! Thanks to anyone that has been a part of this journey with me and for anyone who has been reading along through it all. PEACE OUT BLOG!!

-Linsey

We're Not in Kansas Anymore (Vol. LVIII)

Good Afternoon Blog Goers, (scroll down if you want to skip me talking about the NBA)

Do these things have a time stamp of when they are posted? If they do, I fear that I will be exposed for how long these things take me to write. Maybe I will have to edit that greeting to say “Evening” instead. I guess I will leave it for now. In my last blog I didn’t continue the volume number because I honestly had no idea which edition it was since I was SLACKING. Therefore, I just guessed on this one. Volume 58 sounds pretty good and is also the current super bowl number that we are all looking forward to watching this year. That reminds me that I didn’t even watch the super bowl this year because I was on a flight home from the great city of Boston. Well that’s not entirely true. I got to watch the Chefs do what they do best (win football games) and all of the commercials on the plane ride home but with no volume. It was actually horrible. Reading lips is hard. This was especially true for the queen Rihanna’s halftime show. That reminds me that I still need to re-watch but with audio playing this time.

Alright, alright I will stop talking about a sporting event that finished almost 3 months ago. Although, a sporting event that hasn’t finished yet is the NBA playoffs. The NBA is funny to me because during the regular season, I literally could not care less about any of the games that transpire. However, as soon as the playoffs start, I am all in. In fact, I am watching the heat play the Knicks right now as we speak. The heat, who are the 8 seed, just beat the bucks, who were the 1 seed, and the last two games of the series might have been some of the most entertaining basketball I have ever watched. Jimmy Butler, who plays for the heat, is that guy. He’s awesome. My prediction is that the heat upset again in this series. The Knicks have Jalen Brunson, who is also that guy and also awesome but Julius Randle is just a bum. Its actually so amazing the “playoff effect” has on some players and how they can just elevate to an unstoppable force who literally makes any shot they take. Something about sports… they are truly incredible and people invest such an incredible amount of time into them. You didn’t ask but this is my playoff prediction. The Heat will advance to play Boston (which I want because jimmy butler is so amazing, but also I want the knicks to win because their fanbase is just so dang entertaining whenever their team is doing well (they are literally insane)), and Denver will advance to play the Lakers. The Lakers will play the Kings as they win game 7 tonight and LIGHT THE BEAM. I really don’t like the Lakers but unfortunately they just have been able to do some amazing things with Lebron and Davis. No matter how old they get, they still just dominate. Also Austin Reaves (shock the nation) and Rui Hachimura have been going nuts. From these teams, Boston and Denver will advance to be in the finals, and once that happens I really have no idea. the Denver nuggets have a crazy lineup. They literally have a guy (Nikola Jokic) that’s plus/minus is so incredibly positive that you wonder how they ever lose a game and another guy who just awakes in the playoffs (Jamal Murray), along with a great supporting cast including a Kansas Jayhawk known as Christian Braun, who actually gets minutes. Love him. But all that being said, something always happens to them. They are quite literally a team that you sit there and wonder why they haven't won a championship yet in the current decade. Also the Boston Celtics, are just the Celtics. They are just super consistently good. They have a ton of experience in the playoffs and a lot of hungry players for a championship. They also are like the current leaders for total championships won by a NBA team. That partly is because they were so dominant when the NBA started and literally won like 5 in a row or something ridiculous before the Lakers decided they were gonna be the showtime team. All that being said, I think this is Denver’s year. I would be ecstatic for Christian Braun to get a ring. Imagine that: You win the NCAA tournament and then in your first year in the NBA, you get a ring for winning the NBA finals. That would be crazy, and I hope that Christian gets that to happen for him. He is such a dog and I love him. He also dunked on Giannas, which is so crazy, like soooooooo freaking crazy.

READ HERE: I got carried away with talking about sports above so if you think you wouldn’t care about that, you can just start reading here.

Enough about basketball. No like literally, I wrote so much about basketball just now and I didn’t think I had it in me. I have a feeling a lot of people don’t really want to read about everything I said but I am gonna leave it there anyways. Lets talk about April. Do you guys enjoy the question “So what’s new?”. I have been learning that I enjoy this question less and less. I think when you get older, this question just starts to be more and more mundane. I think this is because, as you get older things just kind of get less and less new. This is true in a way of you have just lived such a collection of experiences, that finding “new” is genuinely very hard but this is also true in a way of you just stepping into a stage of life where most of your days/weeks/years are pretty similar. That thought might scare some people. It kind of scares me. I don’t really want to “be boring and old”. I very much want to be “new and interesting”. As being someone who craves a rhythm though, this also kind of brings me some peace in knowing that rhythm will exist. What do I know though? Obviously everything because I am a 23-year old. Back to the matter of that one question I previously brought up though. I have found myself just asking it and being asked it a lot to garner a response whether by me or others of “nothing much really. Just kinda doing the same ol, same ol”.

Now, I don’t bring this up to condemn or shame that. I think one of the biggest problems (not that I don’t struggle with it. In fact, I probably struggle with it more than the average person), is that we aren’t okay with boredom. One thing I have learned this year, is that a lot can come from boredom. The state of boredom allows us to peruse our thoughts. It allows us to notice things that we don’t normally notice in our super busy lives. It also is an active way to stop idolizing excitement. That last part is a thing that I have been especially dealing with this year. I don’t really like to be bored. Does anyone? I often am looking for the next thing to do at all parts of the day. Sometimes I can even be in the middle of an event and then be wondering what’s next, in a way phasing my presence out of what is currently happening. All of this being a result of never wanting the fun of life to end. Here’s a question: do you ever find boredom in your relationship with the Lord? I swear I do all the time. I actively schedule time being outside, playing a game or a sport, and entertaining myself but I rarely schedule time with the Lord. Or if I do schedule time with the Lord I allow it to have exceptions where all of a sudden I am throwing it to the back burner. All of this to point out the idea of idolizing excitement. Rather than relying on the one who tells me that and who I believe that life is found in, I often rely on entertainment to give me life. Praise the Lord for the space that Fellows has given me to realize this.

I honestly lost where the train was going with this thought and I am feeling a little reluctant to reread everything so hopefully these next few sentences somehow tie-in to what I was talking about. Having idols in things are so much more than just black and white. Someone hit me this past week with the thought that they knew people who were “idolizing marriage”. You might hear that and say “well duh” but I had never really thought of that before. I think of idols often in things that are fairly negative rather than things that are fairly ordinary or good or God-honoring things. In it all, it’s the core theme of pushing Him out, so that the idol can take the center stage. For me this happens a lot with allowing the chase of excitement to take the center stage amongst many other things. Boredom gives us the chance to not have something on the center stage. It gives us a chance to re-find God in the show. Rather than run away from it, I want to try and embrace it regularly with this chance to re-find Him. If you find me complaining about boredom in the future, I just ask that you would please remind me of this statement that I have made.

Well guys, that’s it. Thanks for reading my last blog ever (holy smokes). As someone who doesn’t journal ever, this has actually been a surprisingly great activity. It has allowed me a space to reflect like I often don’t want to and a space to truly analyze what is at the forefront of my mind. Thank you fellows for giving me this experience amongst the countless others. To say it one last time via this square space box:

May He Bless your month,

Alec

All the saints in heaven are people you've never heard of

I thought it would be appropriate to start my final blog appearance with a journal excerpt from my meditation time in our spiritual formation class. Because spiritual formation, that’s the whole point, isn’t it?

“When I was younger, I prayed a lot for things like getting a good grade on my upcoming test. And then, when I grew to be so much older and wiser, I laughed with a sort of implicit condescension on people who prayed for things like getting a good grade on an upcoming test. Certainly God doesn’t care about things like that. Certainly the creator and king of the universe has better things to worry about?

But he’s swept the pedestal out from under my feet by showing me just how much he loves me. God doesn’t worry, but he does care. God doesn’t toil, but he does work.

At the risk of sounding theologically dishonest, God cares so much about the little things. I’m willing to bet that he does care how I do on my test, or about my job interview, or whether I like my wedding dress. And he also cares about the bigger things: how I learn about the world, and how my vocation and marriage point back to his kingdom. It’s not either-or, it’s both-and. The little things are the big things.

Like a parent who wants to see their child do well, he cares about the things we do, but their outcome has no bearing on his love for us. He’s the parent who’s there to embrace his crying kid when they fail their test. He’s the dad who takes his daughter out for ice cream after she’s just been dumped by the guy who was not even that cool to begin with. He’s the mom who picks up her teenage son from a party when he’s drunk and can’t drive home. The one who celebrates with us when we get into college and (finally) get approved to rent our first apartment (or the one who co-signs as our guarantor when we don’t). We’re his kids.

Don’t fall victim to thinking God isn’t for us just because things don’t turn out the way we would have had them. We’re putting together a puzzle that we only have like, four of the pieces to. This year has been a lot like that for me. I’ve been learning to cut my losses and ditch my expectations. To embrace unlikely friendships and spontaneity. To let myself be proven wrong — in fact, to challenge God to prove me wrong, and rejoice when he does.”

Our worldview teacher (and Holder of Many Other Titles that He May or May Not Consider to Be Impressive but I Certainly Do), Scott Steel(e?), was discussing the theology of “a calling” - namely, what is our calling? He said “all the saints in heaven are going to be people you’ve never heard of.” Ordinary people, living unremarkable lives, who are so, so precious in the sight of God. The ones who have stored up their treasures in heaven. Scott spoke of people whose earthly lives were not so much about what they did, but how they did it: with love, excellence, and glory to God. What a gift it is to live an unremarkable life, comprised entirely of the little things.

And I think that’s what Fellows is about: learning how to live ordinary, extraordinary lives.

Fellows has brought me more than I asked for, more than I expected, and more than I deserve.

What a delight this year is,

Madelyn

Moments with Mal #8

“Scary news is: You’re on your own now.
Cool news is: You’re on your own now.”

— Dr. Taylor Swift, NYU Speech 2022

I listened to this speech recently to fully get myself hyped up for the Eras Tour. I won’t give any spoilers away because after only walking in with knowing a few things, I walked out of Mercedes-Benz feeling like the whole thing was a fever dream and dream come true all at the same time!

This speech also was pretty great as I’ve been telling people this past month that I am in my discernment era aka was in the process of making all the big decisions it seemed- Where to live? What house? How do I pay for this? What job? What’s changing, and what will be the same? Ultimately, what do I do post fellows?

Taylor’s answer: you’re on your own kid.

That’s true…and not. While it feels like I have to answer all these questions on my own, my discernment era has brought me back time and time again to how much I need the Lord. I sought lots of advice, and after all the anxious walks and talks, I was still left with a yearning for just wisdom from the Lord. 

At the end of the day, we’ll always have discernment eras, but what’s great is that they’re not long term. Cue the music, we’re exiting the discernment era and entering into the adult world, but before we do, I’d like to write this last blog thanking four official/unofficial mentors in my fellow’s life. 

1. Kim Patterson!! You welcomed me into the office from the very first day, literally walked with me often, and spent lots of time unofficially helping me process all things fellows. You are my friend in the office that always helps me think outside of the box, the one that always checks in with people, and the one bringing them together even if it’s with our WVCW pool-noodle microphone! 

2. Robin Vincent!! You’re my actual mentor that quickly turned into one of the best friendships in the church that I could ask for! I wasn’t sure what having a mentor would be like because of the weird ones I had in college, but the first time I came to your house, you sat me in those FAMOUS chairs in your kitchen and made me feel right at home. Usually, I can be shy and take time to open up, but with you and at your house, I always felt so welcome and known. You have opened your home up for girls’ nights (even when the episodes of the Bachelor were TOO CRINGY), and you always sat and wanted to know everything going on. You are always there for me, your students, or kids to talk through the fun and hard things, and I’m so grateful!

3. Beth Finneran!! You are an icon and a great friend! After meeting you at Shark Tank and talking about the Winx Club, you came up to me at church to specifically show me a picture, and it made my day! Some of my favorite moments of this year alone were the Galentine’s party at your house (talk about creative and exciting), hanging out with you, Meg, and Brooke around Christmas, and then celebrating Easter at your house. While I didn’t find the golden egg…singing the ABCs with Anna and getting to just hang out with your family that day was too sweet, so thank you!! You seek others out, remember the little things, and invite people in so well! 

4. Ashley Crutchfield!! I’ll do this more formally at the lake, but I can’t end this blog post without thanking our FEARLESS director. I know us fellows can be MISERABLE AND MAGICAL. You are this amazing friend and leader for each of us that would MEET ME AT MIDNIGHT, let me sit in your house for hours to talk (@discernment era), send me a list of tv recs, or be the ultimate hype woman. I’m thankful to be staying in Raleigh because that just means more time hanging out, singing All Too Well (10-minute version) many more times, and seeing you be the amazing connector you are! You bring people together, keep the door open, and share with others while doing it all in pink or glitter. I knew the first time we talked on the phone about Fellows that you were this courageous and cool person that I wanted to learn from, and that gut feeling was right! 

So, I’m on my own, but not really. Thankful for this Raleigh community, and even more thankful to keep continuing friendships and life here!

-xoxo Mal

See you around!

“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”

— T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"

Hey blog. Happy May! A great friend of mine Madelyn once said, “You can’t earn springtime.” That’s been sitting with me especially deeply this month. God bless spring!

Two weekends from now I’ll be a Raleigh Fellow ALUM! I’ll be processing the goodness of this year for a long time—it’s truly flown by. I’m so thankful that so many things the program has introduced me to will continue long after we’re done with our Fellows year. I’m excited and glad to keep calling Raleigh and Apostles home. I could have never expected how settled and rooted I’d feel here after only a few short months.

Miss Kassie wrote us a letter that we all got on our welcome retreat that I reread this week. In it she mentions the “sacred temporariness” of this year, and while I’m grateful for the things I love that are just beginning, I’m struck by the end of it all! Never again (I assume) will I work a 24-hour work week and play pickle ball every Monday afternoon and live with a host family and experience freshly all the other unique parts of a Fellows year! But I’m learning that seasonality is a gift: there is indeed “a time for every matter under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

For the last time on this blog!

Derren

“Lord, as you will, and as you know, have mercy.” — Henri Nouwen

A Letter to... Neil!

Fifty-four March Madnesses Left And Maybe One Year My Bracket Will Win

Over the past year, I’ve been rediscovering my identity as someone who likes to read. For Christmas, my dad gave me a book entitled Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. If you’ve been talking to me at all over these past few weeks, you’ll know that I haven’t shut up about it. It looks like your typical self-help book, though I’m suspicious the author, Oliver Burkeman, only titled it the way he did so that the type of people in the market for your typical self-help book would see it on the shelf and grab it. What it really is, is a book about the philosophy of time. Did you know that if you live to be 80 years old, you only get 4,000 weeks worth of time on earth? And we certainly aren’t guaranteed to see 80.

I’m turning 23 tomorrow. At this point, I have maybe 2,804 weeks left. Or maybe less. Or maybe more. Operating on the 2,804 assumption, that’s 54 more Christmases. 54 more times to experience winter turning to spring (and tl;dr on my last blog post, I love it when winter turns into spring). If you can push past the harrowing despondency of it all, you may happen upon the realization, as did Burkeman, that it matters not so much how much time we have, but how we spend that time.

He writes: “It’s natural to see this situation as highly regrettable, and to yearn for some alternative version of existence in which we wouldn’t have to choose between valued activities in this way. But if it’s amazing to have been granted any being at all…then wouldn’t it make more sense to speak not of having to make such choices, but of getting to make them?”

It is just as important what we choose NOT to be doing, as what we choose to do. 

Ashley has often spoken of “the Holy no” – the “no” we give to things that are good in order to say yes to the (equally good, or better!) things God may have up his sleeve for us.

All that said, I want to use more of my time to try new things. In no particular order, here is a list of new things I tried in March:

• Making a March Madness bracket: I fear I may be turning into a college basketball fan.

• Watching wrestlemania: I can’t say I’ve ever had any interest or desire to do this… but reluctantly I will admit I had fun.

• Silent retreat: That’s right! We retreated to St. Francis Prayer Center in Greensboro, NC, to spend time apart, together. Mary Young guided us in spiritual practices of lectio divina, viseo divina, silence & solitude, and good ol’ reading your Bible. It was a time set apart to shut up and shut out the noise of the world, that we might be able to listen to the voice of the Creator.

• Party bus: This one is just exactly what it sounds like.

• Consensual cyberbullying … I’M KIDDING (I’m not kidding): We completed a series of anonymous 360-degree reviews for each Fellow, with consideration to each others’ strengths and ~areas for growth.~ I thank God for friends who are committed to my edification; friends who not only think of me kindly, but think of me at all.

• Got pulled over by a cop on a motorcycle (The cop was in the motorcycle. I was in my car): Avoided a speeding ticket somehow. Still cried in the parking lot for 30 minutes afterward.

• Lenten practices: I’ve spent each Thursday fasting from the time I wake up until round table that night. How sweet it is to break my fast surrounded by friends (not to mention, each week it tastes like the best meal I’ve ever had).

• Saw a Beatles cover band: AND IT WAS PHENOMENAL. If I’m not in a cover band when I’m in my mid-50s, I’m probably doing something wrong.

• Serving communion: This past Sunday (which may have actually been April, oops), I served communion for the first time. I was almost brought to tears multiple times seeing everyone come through the line and having the chance to bless them. It was just unexpectedly and unequivocally good.

As God sent man into the world to “subdue and rule over it,” (read: steward it well until the Resurrection), so also do I believe he desires us to subdue and rule over our time. Ephesians 5:15-16 says “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” It doesn’t matter how many days I have until I will meet Him face to face, but if, and how, I am choosing to make the most of every opportunity. 

HE REDEEMED US. HE BOUGHT BACK OUR TIME. THESE DAYS ARE GIFTS.

pgfwabf

Madelyn

Stuff I read this month

“Where we lived in Italy was a cement building plopped on a hill. It wasn’t beautiful. But on the hill, you could see beautiful things.”

— Daniel Nayeri, Everything Sad Is Untrue

Hey blog. Happy April! I hope your March was lovely. Mine was! Today, I’d like to talk about a couple of the books I read this month (and I have a fun surprise at the end that perhaps no one will care about).

I most recently finished Everything Sad Is Untrue by Daniel Nayeri, which is an autobiographical novel written from the perspective of the author’s middle-school self. In it, he makes sense of his life and his history as an Iranian refugee living in Oklahoma. It’s filled with so many poignant and beautiful observations and stories that feel all the more special when you remember they’re being told by a sixth-grader to his classmates, trying to explain where he came from and how it shaped him. It’s middle-grade fiction but I think there’s so much in it for adults. It made me a little teary more than once, and I laughed out loud a lot as I read it. That’s really all I ask from a book that will be one of my all time favorites and this one certainly makes that list.

Earlier this month, I reread The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo. I read this book often when I was younger, and every year I like to revisit a few books I read when I was in elementary or middle school (seems to be a theme?), because it feels so special to revisit the values we hope we instill in children—stuff like courage and forgiveness and friendship—once I’ve left childhood. This also made me tear up, to be honest. “A rat is a rat is a rat,” until he encounters an act of grace. Too good!

“‘Oh, really,’ said Roscuro [the rat], ‘this is too extraordinary. This is too wonderful. I must tell Botticelli [the cynical rat] that he was wrong. Suffering is not the answer. Light is the answer.’”

Last one I’ll mention. I read And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini a couple of weeks ago. I’ve always been struck by Hosseini’s penchant for storytelling and the way he can write about really hard stuff with a lot of sensitivity and compassion. This book really is one of his best in both of those regards—it’s amazing how he’s weaves many different stories across time and place into this one really standout novel. There are so many characters and perspectives and somehow all of them are so memorable. Hosseini is a gem!

I said the last one was the last one I’d mention, but it would not be Fellows without some class reading, so I’ll mention that too. This month, we finished up How (Not) to Be Secular by James K.A. Smith and The Drama of Scripture by Bartholomew & Goheen as we wrapped our classes on Christ in Culture and New Testament. In the span of a few weeks we’ve covered the malaise of immanence AND an introduction to the book of Revelation. Talk about range!

My fun surprise (though “fun”, here, is subjective), is a few book recommendations for my fellow Fellows. Fellows, if you see this, my disclaimers here are that there is no guarantee that you will like the book I recommend for you if you read it; maybe you’ve read it before or you’ve decided you will never read that particular book and that’s fine by me; this list was based on an inexplicable vibe, I have no reasoning behind any of these; and, lastly, I am so unbothered if you ignore this completely unsolicited recommendation for the rest of your life! (I really just needed blog content. Cheers!) This I humbly give to you (again, so unsolicited! Ignore if you like.)

Emily: Beartown, Fredrik Backman

Ashley: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Betty Smith

Janie: Poison for Breakfast, Lemony Snicket

Mallory: Rebecca, Daphne de Maurier

Madelyn: The Anthropocene Reviewed, John Green

Linsey: Gilead, Marilynne Robinson

Neil: The Last Shot, Darcy Frey

Ian: Open, Andre Agassi

Alec: In Cold Blood, Truman Capote

Matt: Cat’s Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut

Sincerely,

Derren Lee

Make Me Meek March

One highlight of this past month has been our class with Eric where we have been doing an inductive bible study on the Sermon on the Mount. The Sermon on the Mount contains the famous beatitudes, one of which is “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.” I feel like the word meek is one of those classic biblical words that many people struggle to define or understand in its entirety, and I agree. The basic understanding I came to through our class is a mindset of humility and recognition of the lack of power you personally hold, and instead submitting to an authority beyond yourself. We discussed how a mindset of meekness is important to have, paired with a spirit that hungers and thirsts for righteousness. We recognize the lack within us to be perfect and make things right, we recognize the need we have for a savior, and we adopt humility knowing we alone cannot fix the situation.

In simpler, more everyday life terms, this month has been a humbling one. It has caused me to face head on my sin, my weaknesses, my lacking, and my need for a perfect God that can restore and redeem me. You may be thinking, “dang Linsey, what are you talking about?” Well, at church all our sermons over the last month have been about temptation and confronting where we’ve become comfortable with our own sin. And if that wasn’t already causing me to look inward, this month also included peer reviews from all the fellows, a strengths assessment, our genogram papers, and a silent retreat, all of which have taught me A LOT about myself (good, bad, and UGLY). And I don’t say this to bring myself pity or because it's fun admitting all the ways that I fall short from my own and others expectations, but rather I share this because it has been really meaningful through this season of Lent to acknowledge my brokenness and cling to the hope of Jesus. 

But I also don’t want you all to think that I was all sad and sappy through March reckoning with all these self-discoveries. Within all of this information there has also been some really sweet truths that have provided comfort and replaced lies I've believed about myself. The strengths assessment labeled me as a stimulator and provider which gave me a clearer understanding of the role I tend to take on within groups as someone that seeks to elevate the emotions of others, sense the feelings of others, and give a voice to others who have not been heard. Our peer reviews also gave me a lot of encouragement and understanding in how others see me, as well areas to grow in. It has been a time of sweet honesty in seeing the unique ways God has designed me. It has given me a chance to confess my sins and seek God’s forgiveness and grace. It has given me a desire to love others better and be a better reflection of God’s love and kindness. I hope that in attempting to grow in meekness God is allowing me to become more merciful, creating in me a pure heart that desires devotion to God and thirsts for righteousness and peace on this earth (and that’s all thanks to the beatitudes).

-Linsey

We're Not in Kansas Anymore (Vol. Who Knows Anymore)

Well gang, lets go ahead and address the first elephant in the room, shall we? You’re probably sitting there thinking “Alec… I am disappointed… “Who Knows Anymore” is not a number, and henceforth cannot be an addition to your volume series. UGH!” I totally get how that can be frustrating and I am sorry, but you simply are just going to have to deal with it (hehehe >:) ). Of course, that is obviously not what you are probably thinking. In reality, you are probably thinking, “Where has this guy been?? The last time I got a blog update from him was in the month of January and now its April, like what?” In honor of it being Fools day today I thought it would be the perfect day to address this train of thought, because frankly I have been disappointed with myself in the attempt to try and not write these at all.

Put it simply, these past few months I have had little to no inspiration to write. I drafted up an entire blog somewhere in between January and now but after reading it, felt pretty melancholy about the whole thing. It wasn’t my usual barnburner of a blog that I have been delivering month in and month out. That being said, I am not an author. It’s not like I am trying to impress anyone with my wordscraft (it’s a word, get over it) or thoughtfulness. I do however have a hidden agenda to entertain whoever is reading. A lot of people say that reading these is as if I was saying it straight to their face. That being said, the words I have been inclined to put down in these monthly summaries just have left me feeling disconnected from my own self recently. I read them with confusion about what I am even trying to say and with wonder about where the heck all my parenthetical thoughts went (insert thought here). Contrary to what I am talking about though, this past week has felt much different. I have in some way ventured into a swale, where my writing self and I have been learning to operate once again (you like that word, “swale”, pretty impressive huh?).

Today, on this glorious Fools day, I wanted to talk about the ~reorientation of the self~ (which is by no means foolish). Recently in our Raleigh Fellows journey, we had a silent retreat. Now if you were me before last week, you are probably wondering “what does that even mean, “silent retreat”?”. Basically, we were silent and retreated. Haha just kidding. Well not really, but obviously it was deeper than that. Turns out there are these things called prayer centers?? At least in North Carolina there is one that exists close to Greensboro. The one we went to was called the St. Francis prayer and retreat center and boy was it magical. In all seriousness, it might have been one of my favorite camp-type places I have ever been to. Which is bold considering how many YL camps I have been to. Wait, I am sorry. I meant to say “considering how many YL glamps I have been to” (if you know, you know). There was just something about how the retreat center was set up. It was shimmering with intentionality. Every spot of land had the Lord sprinkled into it, whether physically or atmospherically (at least it felt that way). It truly was a perfect place to try and retreat for the weekend, and you can bet your top dollar that we did just that.

The tempo of the retreat went a little like this: arrival, tour of the camp grounds, dinner, spiritual formation/lectio divina (in case you don’t know the latin phrase it is a spiritual practice that is pretty neat, look it up), silence until noon the next day (that meant silence during group gatherings to eat food, more. spiritual formation/lectio divina, silence until 6, dinner, last spiritual formation/lectio divina, departure. In all of that, we as a group spent collectively 21 hours in silence. of course a healthy 8 hours (for some of us 12 hours) of this was dedicated to sleeping, but even still 9-13 hours of silence??? that is a pretty long time to “shut your yap” as we say in the ol’ Kansas territory. You might even be thinking, “that sounds literally awful, I would never want to do that.” In case I guessed right, let me offer you my experience in hopes that the rich discipline of silence/solitude doesn’t get dismissed so easily. I, as a person absolutely hate having to be alone. I was the guy in college who always tried to make someone go with me to the grocery store so I didn’t have to go alone. Honestly not just the grocery store but any errand I would have to run, I would pray that someone would go with me so I didn’t have to be by myself wandering about (it just makes things more fun when someone else is with you and also you don’t have to encounter that weird passing feeling of loneliness so that too). That being said, silence and solitude for me has been something I don’t really want to spend time in. That was very true until this year.

This year has been a year of a lot of growth and a lot of time alone. We as fellows, really need a few hours here and there to just recharge because we are constantly doing things every week. For me, I have a 30 minute car ride to work in the morning and from work in the evening. This has become one of my favorite rhythms of my week. The thing about solitude/silence, is that you really aren’t alone. The whole point of the discipline is to shut up so that you can stop making God have to shut up. Think about that, think about God trying to get a word in but you are too busy talking. Weird, right? An author I have been reading this year said in terms of solitude, “One reason we can hardly bear to remain silent is that it makes us feel helpless. We are accustomed to relying upon words to manage and control others. If we are silent, who will take control? God will take control, but we will never let him take control until we trust him. Silence is intimately related to trust… One of the fruits of silence is to let God be our justifier.” How was reading that? Weird, right? Think about how many words we expend to try and justify ourselves or to try and take control because we don’t trust that the end outcome we want will happen unless we explicitly say everything we think we need to say. In reality, God is our justifier and he is in ultimate control. Everything on this Earth is His, and everything that we have is a gift from Him. None of our words could lessen or further that.

During my 9-13 hours of silence, I did a lot of things. I took a fat nap (or some may say a phat nap), I played silent chess with my fiend Neil, I toured the retreat center (there were a few trails), I contemplated on the 13 stations of the cross, I exercised, I read an entire C.S. Lewis book, and most importantly, I reorientated. If I were you reading this, I would say “What does that even mean? You reorientated? Like are you saying that you just shifted your positioning?” I just shift my positioning a few times, but that is not what I mean. Extended silence is weird because you can’t really escape from the things that are at the forefront of your mind. No matter how much you move on from them, the thoughts that really have a grip on you just keep coming back around. This at least was my experience. I think only in extended silence can you really identify these things and give them the value they deserve. As humans, we all know anxiety. We all know worry. We all know that feeling of knowing something should change, but not having the capacity to enact it. I think silence, in a way, pushes us to address these things. I mean we can’t run away from them so we might as well deal with them. The key in all of this too is that we recognize in the silence our savior’s presence. In fact further than recognize, we look, like with binoculars, for His presence. We understand that we are feeble creatures and that we need Him. How great it is when we recognize this. How happy our Father must be when we come to Him worried, ashamed, lacking capacity to move forward, etc. How happy our Father must be to be our great counselor in the process of cleansing us of these things.

You ever think about how weird it is to say “I heard God today in this” when, in fact, we can’t hear God at all? The omnipotent King we hear from doesn’t need words to speak. The Holy Spirit is always with us, and our heart knows when He is speaking. It is something unexplainable, but you just know.

In my time of silence-better spoken, in my time with God-I wrote down a few things that I could not stop thinking about. Although it is super corny, I titled the collection of these things “the standards of my heart”. These things were born out of facing the anxieties I could not stop facing during my silence. The standards are as follows:

1. Nothing is mine, it all belongs to Him, the creator.

2. When I know I’ve done something wrong, I should own it, expose it, and then ask for forgiveness.

3. Let God Carry the weight (emotional, mental, physical, spiritual baggage).

4. Look for and enjoy the beauty he has created.

5. Take time for myself (silence/solitude).

6. Invite the hand of the Lord into the present.

7. Know my own limitations (sometimes I fail and that’s okay).

8. Appreciate my emotions, do not shut them out.

9. Dream with the Lord

10. Seek community and go deep

This is kind of what I was talking about when I said “reorientation of my self”. Also, you ever think about how weird it is that most lists end in 10? Like “here is my top 10 __”. I swear I didn’t force myself to have 10, it just kind of happened.

Anyways y’all, silence is important. It allows for a time of processing and idea creation with the Lord that just simply wouldn’t be possible in any other setting than silent with Him. It is my prayer that you would seek it out in some form. Whether it be not listening to music in the car on the way to and from things every now and again or just taking an extra 5 minutes in the shower to be still (these are my main ways of seeking silence), I just encourage you to seek out some margin! Well, it has been so real. Until the next blog.

May He Bless Your Month,

Alec

All Rhodes lead to Wrestlezania

We are now in the month of April so it feels like a good time to reflect on March. Let me begin completely off topic by discussing something extremely important to me. Today, April 1st, is the first day of Wrestlemania, the greatest two day event in all of sports entertainment. Will Cody Rhodes defeat the reigning, defending, undisputed WWE universal champion and head of the table, Roman Reigns? Will the tag team of old friends Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens defeat Jey and Jimmy Uso for the undisputed tag team championship belts? I guess we'll just have to wait and see. This is a great segue *wink* *wink* into what the Lord taught me (and is still teaching me) in the month of March.

Some of my favorite fellows-y events in March included but were not limited to: tutoring time at Neighbor to Neighbor with Amare, working at Compass Surgical Partners, and the silent retreat at the end of the month. Tutoring at Neighbor to Neighbor is always a highlight of my week. Amare is such a good student and spending time with him brings me joy. He is learning about addition and subtraction, and I fear he might be better than me. He goes on the funniest tangents about WWE and Spiderman. Sometimes it’s hard for both of us to stay on task (haha). Amare’s joy is infectious! Working at Compass was another highlight of March. I am really thankful for the opportunity I’ve had to work there and for all of the people that I’ve gotten to meet. As I transition from Compass to a position on Young Life staff I will certainly take some of the lessons I have learned about how to communicate in the workplace, stay organized, be on-task, and productive. A big shout-out and THANK YOU to Jestine Nordstrom for all of the wisdom she has shared with me this year at Compass about how to thrive in the workplace. Now, we get to the silent retreat. I truly loved the silent retreat. Similar to how we will have to wait and see what happens at Wrestlemania, I believe that this is a time where God is calling me to seek him out, listen to him, and wait and see what he has in store over the next three years. The silent retreat was a special time where I simply received what God had to offer me. He offered me rest, hope, and joy. I rested physically in a way that I haven’t in a long time. I believe that great physical rest was from God. Additionally, God offered me hope in him. As I change scenery and find myself in Asheville with a laundry list of new experiences awaiting me, God offered me a charge to hope in him and in his goodness. I also experienced joy on the retreat as I sifted through the trails and spent time in so many of the beautiful spaces that the retreat center had to offer.

Well… unfortunately we are getting close to the end of a fellows year rich with laughter, learning, and growth. Here’s to the final months of what has been a great ride so far!

Matt

March with Neil

March was another exciting month to be a part of the Raleigh Fellows. The beginning of March was when our genogram papers were due, which was a project for our family systems class. Writing the genogram paper was a wonderful experience for me, as I got to interview all of my family members and ask them questions their immediate families when they were kids. This experience was fascinating, and I learned a lot about my family that I likely would have never known otherwise. I really enjoyed our family systems class, and writing the genogram paper was my favorite part of the class. During March we had small group breakout as a part of student ministry at Apostles. Me and the other six grade boys leaders took the kids bowling, and it was an absolute blast. It was fun to able to interact with the kids outside of our normal environment and I think they had a great time bowling. During March, we also wrote our 360 reviews, which are anonymous reviews that we wrote about each of the other fellows. We wrote about everyone’s strengths and also areas where we think they grow. Each fellow then met with Ashley, and she read us the thoughts that others have about us. I was pretty nervous about doing this, and it was not something that I really wanted to do. I think at this point I should just trust everything Ashley does at face value because it ended up being another really good experience that taught me a lot. It was really cool to hear that kind of honest feedback from people that I have spent so much time with. Their words gave me a lot to think about, and I think I will be able to grow as a result. We finished the month with our silent retreat which was led by Mary Young at took place at St. Francis prayer center. The facility at St. Francis is great and there is much beauty to see at their center. The retreat was a great opportunity to experience calm and to think inwards. It was a great time to be prayerful and to appreciate God’s creation. I can’t believe that April is our last full month as fellows, but I know that we can make it our best month yet.

Caamp Enthusiast

Long time no see! March has been an interesting month filled with many highs and lows. Probably the biggest highlight of March was our silent retreat we had last weekend. I really didn’t know what to expect going into the retreat, but I was surprised by how great it actually was. While there really wasn’t anything big that I felt God had revealed to me, I found that my time in silence to be very energizing and rewarding. I was worried at first at how I was going to fill my time, but found that all my preplanning was for nothing as the time in silence seemed to fly-by. Overall, it was an experience unlike any other I’ve had before and I’m looking forward to see how God will use this final month of Fellows!

IMA