Hello to all my blog readers! Somehow March is over and it’s April. You know what they say– time flies!
A lot happened this month. There’s a lot I could talk about. But something that is fresh on my mind and that is definitely worth highlighting is our silent retreat that took place last weekend.
Coming into the silent retreat, I was kind of an emotional wreck. With the end of fellows on the horizon and decisions about the future that need to be made, I was feeling overwhelmed and tired. I wasn’t sure what the silent retreat would hold for me… maybe in the silence I would hear from God about what He wanted for the future. Or maybe I could at least get some rest. But either way, I was headed into a weekend of silence while also feeling emotionally exhausted.
The silent retreat was beautiful. The space was gorgeous, the content was wonderful (shoutout to Mary Young!), and I truly felt like I was able to sit with my Father in peace. We began our silence on Saturday night after dinner. We had to be silent all the way through breakfast the next morning! And shortly after breakfast on Sunday, our silence continued until dinner that night. During my silence, I spent a lot of my time in prayer and just walking around. I was able to walk through the stations of the cross, which is a really special way to observe all that happened to Jesus leading up to his death on the cross. As I walked from station to station, I felt like I was walking with Jesus on his journey. I journaled and read and sat; it was so quiet and just really good.
And no, I didn’t receive a vision from God about clear next steps about my future. But I think I took away something even more important than that. Throughout the whole weekend, I could feel God’s presence. I could hear Him saying to me,
“Emily, there is nowhere that you can go that I have not already been. I go before you,
and I am with you.”
As I walked the stations of the cross, as I read in Scripture about His death, I was reminded that Jesus died for me, that He did all of it because He loves me. My God delights in me and is pleased with me and there is nowhere I could go where that would be untrue. This silent retreat was the place where I could be reminded of all of this. It seems kind of simple, but to me it was so refreshing to hear this from the Lord. It’s allowing me to see more clearly and feel confident in the decisions I need to make!
At the beginning of the weekend, Mary read us a short book called God is in the Silence. And even though it’s a children’s book, I am learning that it’s so true… God is in the silence. I hear God more clearly when I strip all the other distractions away. And so I’m hoping to add a little more silence to my life because it’s truly where the Lord is!
Well blog, that’s it for now. Here’s to being more silent! And here’s to the last full month of fellows! How in the world did we get here?!
Peace and blessings,
Emily💗