Dashing and Dazzling December

First off, I would like to say that this blog is coming to you live from Colorado, so no matter what the time stamp on this post says, I am blogging while still in 2022. But Happy New Year east coast! 

This past month was truly full of Christmas cheer and shenanigans. It was a quick three weeks in Raleigh between Thanksgiving and Christmas break, but it was such a sweet time of Secret Santa elfing, Christmas parties, light festivities, and visiting the iconic Angus Barn (a Raleigh icon, truly spectacular). I think December often feels like the fastest month of the year for me, I blink and before I know it, Christmas has passed and the New Year is charging towards me. I keep feeling like I just need to get to the next moment that I can put life on pause, take a breath, and rest before hopping back into full steam ahead. But I’m realizing there is no pause button. The days keep coming. 

So, instead of trying to stop everything I’m learning to take moments and just be present with God. Ground myself in his peace and comfort, and realize that he is with me and around me and going before me. We had a class this past month where we learned a spiritual practice called Emmanuel Time. Essentially, it is visualizing God with you and taking time to speak to Him and hear from Him. It has been a really cool discipline for me to practice over the last month. I have spent most of my time with God just sitting; soaking in the peace and comfort I feel from His presence. Hearing encouragement and feeling strengthened just by God being near me and me drawing near to him. 

During Advent we sang different versions of ‘O Come O Come Emmanuel’ each week. Emmanuel - God with us. Praise the Lord that God came down to be with us so we could experience his presence in a tangible way and that the spirit was sent to dwell in us. That is exactly what I have been clinging onto this past month, God with us, God’s spirit in me. During Advent we spend so much time thinking about Mary’s story, the travel, the details of Jesus’ birth, the conditions in which God came into the world. My church back in Northern Virginia where I spent Christmas Eve proposed this thought: what messy manger of yours is Jesus entering into? As I picture Jesus being born in the manger with the mess and noise of animals all around, my own life feels similar, a bit loud, chaotic, and unplanned. But I also picture a peaceful-silence taking over as the Son of God breathes his first breaths on earth. It’s that moment that I seek in my Emmanuel time. God stepping into my life to restore what is broken, set the world in order of His priorities, and surround me with the comfort of His presence.

As we step into the New Year, I am so excited to experience his presence in a deeper way than I have ever experienced before. Christ was born into the world, he dwells with us! We are not alone and we hold hope for what is to come! What a joyful Christmas message!!

P.S. While writing this I realized I don’t know the difference between Immanuel vs Emmanuel, I googled it and google says Immanuel is the more modern translation?? Who knows!

-Linsey

We're Not In Kansas Anymore (Vol. IV)

Greetings and happy holidays all who are reading this! I hope that the past week or so has been full of family and a very merry atmosphere. For all of my midwestern readers, I hope that you survived the winter weather that the weather channel could not stop covering (my family is absolutely obsessed with the weather channel. It’s all we watch when KU isn’t playing… and apparently there was some bad winter weather over the Christmas weekend). I was lucky and got to spend Christmas in Charlotte and not in Wichita this year, which basically means I got lucky because I would’ve probably lost my luggage and gotten stuck in an airport for a few days (Just a few days, no big deal). At least that’s what happened to a lot of people in the country. It was also nice to not fly into a snowstorm where the windchill was negative thirty degrees. All I gotta say is count your last second switch ups on the Christmas plan blessings sometimes y'all. I have a feeling that this blog is going to be a little shorter than my usual novel since we technically didn’t do anything program related for the past two weeks (still not an adult with a full time job yet so I can still have a winter break hehe >:)). I am also very aware that I have said that in the past many times and they honestly have somehow gotten longer. What’s up with that? Do I have a problem with lying? Unfortunately, we do not have any time to venture down this road because we must blog on! How lame is that, “blog on!”? Talk about cringe.

Anywho, my Christmas break was great. Thanks for asking! Seeing the Kuthan squadron was awesome. I missed my friends in the old ta town (that’s what we call Wichita sometimes), but was able to make some great memories in the old er town this weekend (my family I visited lives in Denver, NC so you can see what I did there. I know it was clever. Also, who knew Denver was in NC. Isn’t that so weird?) Honestly nothing huge happened. Santa come through, and time with the folks was quaint. Yep, that’s about it for this paragraph. Get ready to move a line down. Here we go… Waaait… Waaaaait… okay now!

As I am watching the CFB playoffs, (Can I get a “RIP” in the chat for KU football? And KSU football? Tough trotting troopers.) I will be honest with y'all. I have no idea what happened this month. I figured out I didn’t put any notes in my phone like I usually do. And this blog is due today??? time to put my college skills to the test of doing things extraordinarily last minute with great proficiency. That’s engineering school for y'all. Should I leave that last sentence in there? Eh, why not? I am feeling ~dangerous~ today (this is probably due to me watching TCU absolutely downgrade this Michigan football team at the moment. Let’s go frogs. They called me crazy for backing them today. (I really am just starting to share anything on my mind in this. I guess that’s what you get in these.) Can’t wait for them to choke and then me face the consequences of showboating before the clock hits zero.) Guys Look what I just figured out. Condiments are gross. You can strikethrough things. That is crazy. Might use that later, I guess we will see.

Okay, I promise I will be serious now. Y’all aren’t just reading this for me to goof around. This month was hard but also good. It is hard to realize how fast time can move. Somehow we have already hit the halfway point in this program. It feels in reality like it has been maybe a month or two. I know that is cliche, (anyone know how to add the accent over the e?) but it really is weird. There are some moments where time is slow and some where it is fast. It always seems like time is fast when reflecting on the past, doesn’t it? This is something I thought about during break. It was only a few months ago, I didn’t really know anyone who lived in this city. Now I know several amazing people and the many stories that come with knowing them. I mean this is the stuff you see in movies. Main character moving to the big new city and starting a new life there. You can get so comfortable where you are that you really do forget what the beginning was like. It has been a fruitful experience to have the remembrance of the beginning of this city not too far in the rearview mirror. It has helped me to remember the many other beginnings along the way to this point. There was a beginning that started in a random basement where they were attempting to preach about some guy named Jesus in Wichita, KS, one that started at a camp somewhere in Georgia, another beginning started in a different camp in Missouri (camp’s are crazy and very apparent in my life haha), another at a book club I found myself at, another beginning in my parent’s pit area in the winter with a few friends and a few Heineken 0%’s, another at a house that miraculously came on the market 10 days before a few guys and I needed to move in somewhere, and now a beginning in a city over 1,000 miles away from one I know so much about. That is a long, long run-on sentence. My deepest apologies. But these are some beginnings that mean a lot to me personally.

For anyone reading, it was not my original intention to lead us here, but I would encourage you to take a moment and reminisce on the past. What are some beginnings? Doesn’t have to necessarily be faith-related (although, those usually are pretty good beginnings), but what are some beginnings to a friendship, beginnings to a hobby, beginnings to a skill, beginnings to a career, etc., that mean a lot to you? Take a moment this holiday season and reflect. Isn’t that what the calendar turn of New Years is about… reflecting? Beats me, I don’t know. I am just on my soap box right now. I will go ahead and step off of it now though.

Thanks for reading this month’s update on my life and the thoughts that have spawned during the past few weeks. I know it wasn’t much but maybe that’s a good thing for y’all who are reading. I hope that you got something out of it or maybe laughed at my goofiness that took up over half of this collective text. In the spirit of the new year, here are some things that going into the new year that I would love to have prayers for if y’all would be so kind:

• Confidence, confidence, confidence (will this one ever not be on here? Probably not, I think everyone can use a little prayer for confidence in this day and age.)

• Eyes to see the little ways that God is working

• Margin in the days to seek out the Lord

• A heart to be present no matter where I am

Thank you again for reading this update. As I always say, if there are any ways that I can be praying for you guys or if you just want to chat, please do not be afraid to reach out. As a usual ending point, here are a few pictures from the past month that make me smile:

“Neil going horizontal Christmas edition”. This was taken at the Raleigh famous Angus Barn. People will really do a lot to be here during the holiday season.

This was fellows secret Santa. I had a double whammy experience of knowing who had me and the person I had, knowing I had them. Try not to get too lost in that sentence of a lot of “had”.

This is maybe the blurriest photo you will ever see (its giving “low quality photo, high quality people”), but I had to share that in a white elephant I went to, someone gave me a lizard and it sat on my shoulder. I had to give her back but that was crazy.

That is all for now. May He bless your month of December,

- Alec

Emily's Ode to 2022 (but mainly the last 4 months 😃)

Do you ever have those moments where you kind of dissociate from whatever is going on and look around and just feel so happy to be where you are? For me this usually happens with family. We’ll all be gathered around the table or something and I’ll look around at each person and feel warm and that’s when I realize that this moment will be etched into my memory forever.  

Recently this has been happening more and more for me. Moving to Raleigh and meeting all these new people and learning all these new things, I find myself looking around and being so grateful for where I am. As I sit here and write this on this (rainy) last day of the year, I really can only think about how much these last four months as a fellow have meant to me. The godly wisdom I get to hear from my mentor, host family, and others in the church; the material I get to soak up and learn in class; the laughs I get to share and the community I get to build with my fellows. It all feels so rich and full! So of course I can’t help but step back and look around and be so thankful for where the Lord has brought me this year. 

As I was thinking about what I wanted to write today, I came across this in my journal and I think it sums all of this up pretty well:

“And all the while I couldn’t be happier with where I am. I get to be with some of the most wonderful people that I have ever met. I get to learn from such wise people. I am tapping into parts of my own heart and relationship with Jesus that have never been touched before. I know this is where I’m supposed to be and I know it was good for me to come here.”

I only hope that 2023 is full of more moments like these. Ultimately I know that it’s Jesus who is making all of it so sweet.

Happy new year!!! See y’all in 2023!

Peace and Blessings,

Emily 🤍🤍

Moments with Mal #4

First of all, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year! Second of all, for this blog post, here’s 12 Festive & Fun Fellow Moments with Mal!!

#1 13.1 miles of fun and running through Raleigh with Madelyn and Janie 

Back at our very first retreat, Janie and I talked about doing a half, and Madelyn was down too. To be honest, my training started strong, and then… I needed LOTS of convincing that we were actually doing this when it came to running 6 miles just for training. After signing up and encouraging each other, we did it! Plus we had a little cheering section at the end, and celebrated with burgers at MoJoe’s, so it doesn’t get much better than that when talking about running a half! 

#2 Sleepover with last year’s Fellow Ladies

Something I loved when I was learning about the fellows program was hearing about past fellows staying in Raleigh afterwards. It got me excited and hopeful for a future community after all this, so it was really sweet to have a sleepover with the girls from last year!  

#3 My secret Santa was Neil, and I had no idea

The fellows christmas party was a blast, and Neil surprised me with a great gift! I had no idea he was my secret Santa👏👏 

#4 Having dinner with my buddy Kris

Best gluten free pasta ever!! Enough said. 

#5 Cookie Decorating Contest at Work

Let’s just say, it’s an honor to win first runner up in the cookie decorating contest as an intern. Love seeing this type of community at my workplace and walking away with the 2nd place title. 

#6 Hanging with my Host Fam

Had many movie nights this month after family dinner which I love. My host sister Anna also had many fun holiday outfits for this month which will brighten everyone’s day! 

#7 One of my friends from college came to visit 

My friend Swed came to visit and met all the fellows! It was so fun to see worlds collide and show her around Raleigh! 

#8 Seeing Christmas Lights 

Going to find amazing Christmas lights displays is one of my favorite things to do around the holidays, so it was a lot of fun when Ashley took us on a field trip to see several houses all lit up during our Christmas Party! 

#9 Dinner at the Bolash’s

We went to the Bolash’s- had dinner, also saw some WILD Christmas lights, and Robin read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever  to us. 

#10 The Kids’ Christmas Pageant at Church 

It was simply amazing. This one is you had to be there moment, but I loved every minute of it. 

#11 Teaming up with Janie’s host sister to give Janie presents 

I had Janie for secret santa, so Rachel and I teamed up to surprise her with gifts. Couldn’t have done it without her! The best moment was when she helped me hide a present in Janie’s car right before youth group. 

#12 Fellowsgiving

We celebrated in December, so it counts! Lots of food, laughs, and stories shared as we went over to Ashley’s and hung out with fellows from all different years.

All the Leaves are Brown (ALLLL THEEEE LEAVES ARE BROWWWWWNNNNN)

What a beautiful time it is to be in the City of Oaks. That’s right, I’m talking about you Raleigh North Carolina. November was an exciting month for me. First and foremost, I was FINALLY able to get my car to pass inspection so I could get my new tag. Seriously, it took me an incredible amount of time to accomplish something that really shouldn’t be that difficult. This is due in large part to me not realizing that Wake County required an emission test to pass inspection. Who knew? Unfortunately, this is something that my blessed 2007 Honda Accord wasn’t able to accommodate. She still can’t. However, the people of the local DMV were able to grant me a waiver so that I could get it passed. Now back to regularly scheduled programming… 

Something that really stuck out to me in November was the presence of God’s Kingdom. I will get into that a little bit here. Guys God’s Kingdom is everywhere. It is literally everywhere. I find myself forgetting that often. That must have been on God’s radar because he showed up in countless spaces in the month of November. One example of this happened whilst I waited in an incredulously long line at the local DMV (backtracking right to my DMV experience haha). I encountered two different people while I waited in line both pointing me in the direction of Christ by the way he showed up through them. The first of which was a lady who found herself in line right behind me. We started chatting it up about random stuff which somehow brought up her daughter who is graduating from NC State in December. I’ll take this brief moment to give a passionate GO PACK! I’m sure a lot of Tar Heels will be reading this blog and to you I say read ‘em and weep… of course talking about yall’s box scores across football and guess what, basketball too, ever since you played that beautiful Wolfpack football team. Where were we? So the aforementioned kind lady bearing God’s image expressed how badly she wanted her daughter to get a good job post-graduation in December. To that I responded, “Well, yeah it’s hard sometimes,” not inspiring much confidence. To this she responded, “Well God will be good.” It can be so easy for me to gloss over that, but blessed be that woman of God’s Kingdom reminding me. A while later, as we waited in line, a gentleman about 4 people in front of us, only wearing one shoe I might add sporting many holes in his clothes bundled up in a blanket, walked right outside to a lady clearly shivering while she waited and offered up that blanket for her. What a beautiful and tender image of how we are to love God’s people. This man clearly didn’t have much to give, but he gave all that he could. In five minutes, that man loved a lady he didn’t know better than I may have loved anyone in my entire life. I didn’t say a word to this man, but the way God touched my heart through his actions will not be forgotten. 

In summary, the presence of God’s Kingdom in November showed up constantly and reminded me that God is indeed good and will continue to be, and also that his Kingdom brings light into a dark world through the way that it loves. What a beautiful reminder the Lord gave me in November. I am thankful for the way that he always shows up even when I miss or neglect it. Thanks be to God!

I know this blog wasn’t super fellows related, but I just had to talk about that a little bit. Thanks for reading if you made it here. 

• Matt

NOVEMBER'S POWER RANKINGS

In lieu of a formal blog post and photo collage, I have decided to shake things up a bit and dub November the month of the POWER RANKING! This was inspired by Neil, who, early on in the year, decided he was going to publish a weekly “power ranking,” and rank each of the Fellows #1 – 10 based on a category or metric unknown to the rest of the group (which we then had to try and guess). He actually only ever made one power ranking, but nonetheless, it was iconic enough to be worthy of a blog post theme.

Aaaaaaand, I’m not going to make you guess the category. In no particular order, I present to you…

*drum roll*

TOP TEN MOMENTS FROM NOVEMBER AS A FELLOW! I hope re-living them with me is as exciting as me actually living them.

1. Carpooling to Neighbor-2-Neighbor: from squishing far too many people into a car, to the soundtracks we listen to as we zoom around downtown, to getting there early so we can play some basketball, these little moments make Raleigh feel more and more like home.

2. THE LAKE with Jason Young: a lake retreat is bound to make the top 3 in any power ranking. Learning how to nourish your spirit is best paired with attempts to fit 11 people in a hot tub.

3. Celebrating Ashley’s *21st* birthday: oh, and the ONLY proper party attire is sweatpants and athleisure.

4. Late night cookout runs: especially delicious after losing an ultimate frisbee tournament.

5. Girls night consisting of frozen nuggets and babysitting Anna: Nick will certainly not love to hear that we sang Taylor Swift to her for two hours. You gotta teach ‘em young.

6. Bocce Ball with the Batchelder’s: technically this happened in October but was just too good not to include.

7. Shopping at Food Lion for Matt’s and my roundtable dinner: we went a little too far over budget last time, but thanks to Food Lion and their sweet deals and savings, we redeemed that this go ‘round.

8. Pickleballin’ in this gorgeous gorgeous Carolina weather: autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place? Sign me up.

9. Bananagrams: Classic, epic game. This will always make the list.

10. Micah 6:8 conference @ Camp Oak Hill: boy oh BOY, and this cannot possibly be overstated enough, am I glad to be a Raleigh Fellow.

Honorable mention for the worst part of the month: getting sick!! Do NOT recommend it.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the small things are the ones that are really the big things. Thank you for taking a little peek with me into this life of which God has already ordained every minute.

Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow

Madelyn

November Heart

“Moses said, ‘Please show me your glory.’ And he said, ‘I will make all my goodness pass before you.’”

— Exodus 33:18-19

Hey blog. I’m writing to you a few days late, and my only defense for that is that November ended on a Wednesday, not a weekend, and I, of course, was very hard at work, no time for blogging (my apologies Ashley Crutchfield). But, delays and all, here’s a couple of thoughts from the past month.

I think about Exodus 33 a lot. Moses asks God to show him His glory, and God responds that all of His goodness will pass before him. It seems that for God the two are the same and it’s wild to me that resting in God’s goodness could be the same as beholding His glory but with God this is true. It’s hard to articulate what that means to me but at the very least, it’s a great comfort and hope.

This feels extra evident when we come forward for communion each week, bringing all of ourselves to the table that’s been prepared for us in advance. When I feel great, and when I feel terrible, I get to receive the body and blood of Christ, hearing the words, “The body of Christ, broken for you in love, Derren. The blood of Christ, shed in love for you.” God’s glory and God’s goodness hit me in the midst of ordinary, everyday things like bread and wine.

So this month I’ve been praying that God would help me direct my focus to His goodness, and I’ve seen it in so any places. Within shared meals, meaningful silence, Christmas concerts. Through wise friends, Fellows retreats, and Sunday prayers. I hope that this would continue as the Advent season continues, that I would notice something beautiful that I’d otherwise miss had I not been paying attention. I want to have a heart that is both curious and receptive when glimpses of beauty and goodness reveal themselves. Something really magnificent was happening in that manger in Bethlehem so many years ago, but it was quiet, unassuming. Very few actually knew at the time that “to us a son is given,” whose name is “Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6). But the Lord revealed it to the shepherds nearby: Luke 2 tells us about how the “glory of the Lord shone around them” and about the announcement of “good news of great joy that will be for all the people.” The shepherds responded in the way that I would like to, saying, “Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.” Intrigued and in light of this glorious announcement, they moved toward goodness in the form of a child. May we all move toward the light, “glorifying and praising God” for what we experience, the way these shepherds showed us.

Warmly, hopefully, gratefully,

Derren Lee

We're Not In Kansas Anymore (Vol. III)

Greetings from the past month that involved a gained hour of sleep and days where the sun all of a sudden sets before 5 pm everyday. Hmmmmmm. What else happened during this past month? Oh yeah, happy belated thanksgiving to those who are reading. Hope it was a fun time of thankfulness with the fam. Ummmmmm, oh oh oh, crazy month for leaves everywhere. Y’all. The trees here (please do not get confused, I love every one of them), they just never stop shedding leaves, needles, acorns, etc. Honestly name anything and trees here probably drop them. I cant even see a single inch of grass or cement in my host families front yard. Like I am not joking there are a lot of leaves that fall here. I will try to snap a picture. Maybe. Potentially. Also maybe I forgot. (I definitely forgot, whoops)

Anywaysssss, the month of December is here and another monthly recap is being demanded (s/o to my fans). Similar to the other months that have passed since I came here, the pace of this program is moving at a full out sprint. It is truly crazy to think that December is already here. In order to combat this fast paced environment where things are very easy to forget about from month to month, whenever I write these blogs, I utilize a running note on my phone of things I want to talk about. Over the month, In the heat of a thought or experience I write a few words down to make note of something I want to share with y’all. The motivation behind it, as I said, was to stay organized on the tracks I try to put down for the ride that these blogs are, but indirectly it has been genuinely refreshing before typing away to have a moment to reflect on the past month of my thoughts and experiences. Reflection and remembrance are so good y'all (random Segway alert). The Old Testament is a brutal grind to get through, but reading it and being able to reflect on and remember what the Lord has done for His people has been so fruitful. With that thought, I encourage y’all to take a moment and try to reflect and remember on moments where the Lord was ever-present. All that being said, in the spirit of trying to successfully transition and move on, I am having trouble deciding where I should start. Okay, I think I have decided. Actually, I still haven’t (tough). Okay, now I think I am ready. Yep, I am ready now.

Contrary to the month of October, we had a few retreats this past month. The one retreat I would like to talk about was our Micah 6:8 retreat, which we ventured to the regionally famous camp Oak Hill to attend. If you pull out your bible and whip it open to page 780, and you have the ESV translation, (which is probably the undisputed champion of translations (I swear some biblical scholar said that once, just like that too, same exact phrasing and everything (I really need to calm down with these layered parentheses))), you might find a verse that reads: “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”. Thus the retreat centered around the topic of a Christian’s call to do justice in the world. One thing that was said that stuck with me was that: “When trying to figure out our vocational calling from God, it should be understood that as Christians we all share the same primary calling of being those who do justice in the world.” I don’t know if y’all have ever read the ol’ test, (that’s slang for Old Testament. Feel free to sling it around as us young folk do), but I have been reading a lot of it these past few months for one of our classes. In the rapid reading of it, which at times has been an absolute gauntlet to get through, I have noticed that the text is littered with moments of God trying to create a structure that justly takes care of the poor in the community of Israel.

I believe that when most people think of justice, they think of catching someone in their acts of injustice and giving them rightly due consequences or, in simpler words, punishing wrongdoing (at least that is what I initially thought). However, if you look at the Hebrew word for justice (which is “mishpat”), there is this retributive translation but there is also another translation pointing to restoration of the victims who were caught up in the injustice. It can be seen in the Old Testament that this latter translation is forgotten often, which ends up kindling God’s anger. Various times did He stop blessing the people of Israel due to their treatment of the poor and their avoidance of those who needed a restorative justice. It was obvious that justice mattered a lot to Him. Before this Fall, I had never once heard of the concept of gleaning in the Bible. It was a command from God that basically said that whenever people harvested their fields, they should leave the edges of their fields unharvested so that the poor and needy could freely be able to harvest food for themselves. Not in a way that created a competition for rations, but in a way where there became truly enough extra on the edges to provide for those who were in need. It is obvious that this mattered to God and it begs the question: “How can we be gleaning in our lives today?” Obviously we are not all farmers, but are we leaving edges of our harvest for the poor? For me as an engineer, this was a weird question to be faced with. There’s a portion of my possible answer that points me towards wanting to glean the financial blessing the Lord has given me. Though, there’s another portion that points to me providing services in my profession in order to further help those who are in need. An example of this at our retreat was an architect working extra hours past what was required on their workload to help with a plan for affordable housing at a charge that was almost free. Obviously that is a very specific example but the topic is something very interesting to chew on and was something that stuck in my mind during the retreat.

Quite the transition but I just wanted to state that I love music. There is this feeling you get when you listen to some songs where all you want to do is dance. There’s like a magic that leaks out, no matter how bad of a mood you’re in, which reaches you and just makes you start nodding a head or tapping a foot. I love the songs that are capable of doing this and I hope all of y’all can relate to this experience. I think that magic lies in the beats and production of the song. Now I love a good beat that gets you moving but I want to talk about the other magical element that I believe lies in music. This element is lyrics. Some songs really just give you words that stir something up in you. Maybe it’s a stirring of something that you have already felt before. On the other hand, maybe it’s a stirring of something you have never felt before (or maybe its giving you words for something you couldn’t have possibly come up with on your own). The reason I bring this up is because I heard a song this past month for the first time and I would love to share it’s lyrics with y’all. Honestly, you should probably just look up the song and listen to it in it’s wholeness but I will still share it with you anyways. The song is called Gratitude by Brandon Lake and the Lyrics go:

“I know its not much

But I have nothing else fit for a king

Except for my heart singing

Hallelujah, Hallelujah”

I don’t know if initially this stirs anything up in y’all but let me tell you it really stirred something up in me. I believe that either subconsciously or consciously, we are always trying to prove our own worth. At least, I know that is true for me. Rather than coming to terms that God made each one of us equally and that everyone is worth a multitude in the eyes of our creator, I highly seek the validation of those around me. I love these lyrics because it carries my imagination to a spot where I am in front of the Lord and I am not too sure what to do. In the sight of Him, I am overwhelmed by the thought of how He has been involved in my life, constantly moving things for my good in His great love for me. What can I do to repay this? I have had so much gratitude for all the ways that I have clearly seen Him at work. I owe Him so much. However, what can I possibly offer to the God of our universe? I truly have nothing at all in my possession that could be fit for our King. In the truly overwhelming realization of this, the only thing I can do is let my heart pour out an endless amount of Hallelujahs in my natural desire to praise Him.

As you can see I have started a new paragraph. I really wanted to add more to that last one but it felt like it didn’t really need anything. Speaking of the word “anything”, I don’t think I have anything else left to share on this installment of my monthly blogs. It is also almost midnight and my eyes are telling me that I need to wrap this thing up so maybe I should try to do that.

If you have been praying for my past few months here, I just wanted to take a moment to thank you and ask for ways that I can be praying for you during my next month here in Raleigh. To provide an update on myself, here are some ways that you can be praying for me for this next month:

• Energy and rest

  • the fire-hose of information and activities is really getting to me, I will be honest

• Eyes to see the Lord everyday in the little things

• A compassionate and sympathetic heart towards those who need

• To be overwhelmed with His love for me

• To stop comparing

• Community at work

  • I would love to start talking about my faith with them so just prayers that I can get windows to do that

Thank you so much for taking time to read this installment of my blog. I hope it wasn’t too long and that you got something from reading it. Shoot me an email/text if you’d wanna hear about anything else I am learning or if you’d wanna just chat about the few things that I thought about this month. In typical fashion here are a few highlighting photos over this past month to end the blog:

This be the squadron taking one of our iconic “Neil going horizontal” pictures at the famous Camp Oak Hill. Please ask me why it is famous later.

Also at Camp Oak Hill there was an ultimate frisbee competition where we got to compete with the Memphis fellows program. We 1000% brought the energy but unfortunately did not bring home the ship. As they say though, there’s always next year.

Also went to an UNC game. Nowhere near as electric as Allen Fieldhouse is for the Jayhawks but we all already knew that. Sadly I did not have the gall to wear a KU jersey into this arena but maybe one day I will.

Here's a photo of me back home with my roommates in Wichita, KS. It felt unbelievably good to be home. Also my roommate Ryan hand-painted that picture in the background. Hit me up if you want any “modern art” from him.

That is all for now. Thanks for reading.

May He bless your month of December,

- Alec

Caamp Enthusiast Vol. 3

Hey Hey ! November has been a incredible month full of many highs and lows. We had many retreats and a lot of fun adventures. Unfortunately, I got really sick the week before Thanksgiving, which made it really rough going into our break. While I didn’t go home for Thanksgiving, my host family (Shea and Julie Tisdale) graciously had me at their Thanksgiving celebration. I also got to see a good friend of mine and his family over break. It was just a great time reminiscing about our past experiences in high school and college. It brought back a lot of memories of community and it made me reflect on how the community around me has influenced me in the past. I was reminded of a lot of sweet moments in college with my roommates and campus ministry. I remember the love and intentionality that I experienced and how God had used those moments to shape me. Coming back from break, I’ve been inspired and encouraged to continue forming a community like that again here in Raleigh!

In Chirst,

IA

A Letter to...Pauline Byron

Nifty and Noteworthy November

(I’ll be honest I just wanted to use the word nifty cause it’s fun)

As I am sitting here getting ready to write my third blog post, I realized that on all three days I have written my blog, it has rained. I’m sure there’s a more poetic way to express this idea but I’m comforted by the thought of taking a deep breath as the rain falls and letting all the stress and tiredness from the past month wash away with the rain. Don’t get me wrong, November was a great month full of wonderful things, but as December begins, I feel the need to clear my mind and start fresh as another full month begins!

Before fully clearing my mind of November, I’ll fill you in on all the highlights. 

Since we just celebrated Thanksgiving, it only feels right to say how thankful I am to be here in Raleigh as a fellow. I adore my fellow fellows. You know these people are something special when we can spend 96 straight hours together on retreats and yet I am never not excited to see them again. We also got to celebrate our director Ashley’s birthday this month which deserves a shout out because this woman deserves endless celebration (she’s all things fun and wonderful). Thankful for you Ashley!! Another thing I am thankful for this month is our teachers/speakers. We get to hear from so many wise, faithful, and fun people as a part of this program that are constantly opening my mind and teaching me new things.

One of my favorite lessons from this past month came from our speaker Jason Young on our most recent retreat. He said “contentment is the central developmental task of midlife… to find contentment put yourself in a place of discontentment and learn to deal with it.” Since moving to Raleigh the hardest thing for me has been feeling insecure about not knowing what comes next after fellows. This is the first time in my life there haven’t been any set next steps and it’s DRIVING ME CRAZY!! I’m a planner. Not having a plan or even an idea of what comes next is very uncomfortable for me. I want to trust God’s plan and provision, and I know when the time comes for fellows to end I will have a new step, but for now I definitely need to embrace Jason’s advice of learning to deal with the discontentment. The reality is I can’t plan out the rest of my life even if I tried, so I’m learning to make the uncomfortability of not knowing the new normal. I’m seeking God’s peace in the present and leaning on him for discernment of how to move forward. Jason shared the verse Jeremiah 6:16 with us which has given me a lot of comfort lately, “This is what the Lord says: ‘Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths; ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.’” 

The big picture plan is already filled in for me, glorify God and enjoy Him forever. The details may be blurry for now but at least I know which direction to head in. Thanks for reading!

-Linsey

Neil's November

I can’t believe I am already writing my blog post for November; it feels like this month has flown by. I think a reason for that is I feel like I have finally gotten into a rhythm with the Fellows schedule. The first week in November, we went on our Micah 6:8 retreat at Camp Oak Hill in Oxford, North Carolina. All of the fellows programs from around the country went to this retreat, and it was very interesting to see these other groups and how they interact with each other. Although I did not love the food or the sleeping arrangements at Camp Oak Hill, I think the retreat made our group closer, and it really made me appreciate a lot of the aspects of the Raleigh Fellows, especially our fearless leader Ashley. I have continued to enjoy working at Redeeming Development Group, where I have experienced increased responsibilities over the last month. Our Old Testament and Just Leadership classes have continued to be very interesting, including an awesome field trip to Mt. Pleasant Worship and Outreach Center in Just Leadership. I loved learning about the amazing impact that Pastor Phillip Walker has had in that area, and the goals that he has for the future in that area as well. Before Thanksgiving, we went on another retreat, led by Jason Young, to Ashley’s lake house. I had a lot of fun on this retreat, and I really enjoyed learning from Jason about the six stones. Even though Thanksgiving break was less than a week, I missed the other fellows and Ashley when I was gone, which shows me how much I am enjoying being a part of this program. I have a busy but fun November, and I am looking forward to what is going to happen in December!

Moments with Mal #3

As I look back at November (and literally look at my planner to remember it all), November was a month full of gatherings! My November was full of moments where people gathered together to worship, learn, and laugh. 

We kicked the month off with probably our largest gathering of this month. The Raleigh Fellows packed our cars to the brim and picked up two California Fellows along the way to Camp Oak Hill for the TFI National Conference. At the conference, we talked about how vocation, justice, and faith are all intertwined. As someone who would just love to know what my dream job is and search Indeed.com for that right now, it was really encouraging to hear from speakers and directors about how the Lord uses our different passions and gifts at different times. There were certain jobs where they felt like they were thriving. There were others where that wasn’t the case even though they created the job description. All this to say, it’s a journey. They had many tips about discernment which I appreciated greatly as someone who would love to just answer the question, “What’s next?”

We also got to meet fellows from all over the country. It was funny and encouraging to have convos with people from all over who were doing such similar things to us. We didn’t have to explain what a host fam was to each other or what we were doing for the next 9 months. Instead, we got to connect over what the Lord has already been teaching us in a time like this and in different cities. I especially loved getting to meet and play ultimate frisbee with the Memphis Fellows! I’m still bitter about our loss in the frisbee tournament, but it’s safe to say our team had some of the best dance moves and cheers out there. 

The next week, our church had a worship night in the middle of the week. I loved gathering with all different people from the congregation and just finding rest and peace in that moment. I’ve been to worship nights before coming to Apostles, but it had always been like where you only knew the people you came with, and it was just something trendy to do it seemed. This felt authentic as I looked around and saw people who we’ve met over the past couple of months and have gotten to know. Our church also did a service day at Refugee Hope. It was so cool seeing where Emily and Ian work! I loved getting to help but also getting a glimpse at what they do and at what community they are a part of at work. They’re doing some truly special and sweet things there!

We got a time to gather back at the lake for the Jason Young retreat the next weekend which was super sweet since we haven’t been back there since we started the program and all met each other! That’s kind of wild to even just think about! Oh, we were so awkward, and then we returned to the lake and were just thankful that these friendships are forming and that we have each other. Jason shared with us 6 “stones”, or 6 ways to live well, and then “a blessing” is the glue that holds these stones together. He offered encouragement and a blessing to each of us through telling stories and just sharing time with us which I’m super thankful for. 10/10 would go back to do this retreat all over again. That’s how great it was!

When I got back, my work had a potluck, and then I went home to Georgia for thanksgiving. Afterwards, I ventured up to Clemson to see old roommates. We don’t need to discuss the game…and when I got back to Raleigh, I saw a bunch of the fellows! We got some dinner, and I was thankful to be back with each of them and to be laughing around the table once again. Overall, this month’s moments showed me that the Lord is at and in each gathering, no matter the size. He uses fellowship to encourage us and teach us what the body of Christ really looks like. In solitude, we spend quality time with Him, and in gatherings, He surrounds us with His love through His people. God’s there with us in the times of worship, learning, and laughing!

John 13:34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Em's November 🍁🍂🦃

Hello world and welcome back to my blog!! This month I have a lot of thoughts and a lot of things to say! No pressure to read it all of course, but in case you want a detailed description of what’s going on in the inner workings of my mind, here you go…… 

What have you loved this month?

Throughout November we have been able to meet with a lot of different people in the Raleigh community and I’ve really loved it. In one of our Just Leadership classes, we heard from a panel who spoke with us about justice in our communities. They answered questions like What does justice look like in the workplace? and How can we be just in our communities? The panelists talked about bringing Shalom (peace) to our communities and how Jesus will bring ultimate Shalom when He comes to restore the world. What stood out to me the most was the idea of allowing for “gleaning” in our vocations. Practiced in the Bible and commanded by God, gleaning happens when harvesters leave the edges of their fields untouched for the poor to harvest for themselves. For example, Ruth gleaned, reaping the harvest from Boaz’s fields (Ruth 2:2-3). One of the panelists wonderfully incorporated gleaning into the present day. He asked us, “How can you maximize the corners of your fields?” In other words, “Who can glean, who can benefit from your vocation?” It really got me thinking! What are ways that I could incorporate serving the underserved in my own future career? How could I provide services for those who may otherwise not receive them? Meeting these panelists who live and work in Raleigh was so inspiring and really got the juices flowing for me! 

Another community member we had the privilege of meeting this month was Pastor Phillip Walker, senior pastor at Mt. Pleasant Worship and Outreach Center. As pastor of the church for almost thirty years, Pastor Walker shared his incredible journey of doing restorative work for a community that was once riddled with violence and brokenness. Through prayer, patience, and waiting on the Lord, Pastor Walker watched as God used the Church to transform one of the more dangerous streets in Raleigh into one that is flourishing and productive. God revealed to Pastor Walker that the Church should not run from the problem; rather, the church ought to run toward the problem. He encouraged us to dream with God when it comes to doing restorative work. His wise words and his life of service to the Lord were such an inspiration to me. I’m still thinking through and processing what all of this might mean for my own life, but I just feel thankful to have met him and to have learned from him. 

What are you learning?

While this is pretty somber and unlike my other upbeat blog posts, this month I am learning about the Lord’s presence in the midst of sadness, grief, and brokenness. As an alum of UVA, I was absolutely heartbroken to hear the news of the Charlottesville shooting that resulted in the deaths of 3 men and the injuries of two men. It’s devastating to watch something so tragic happen to a community I care for so very deeply. The tragedy brought me to Psalm 13 when David is crying out to the Lord. Feeling abandoned by God, David cries, 

“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from 

me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all day?” (vv. 1-2)

While David is referring to personal abandonment here, I would argue that all of creation cries out these words in the midst of brokenness. I find myself asking the Lord, “How long until you will make all of this right?” However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that God is not absent in grief. He, too, feels the brokenness of the world and He grieves with us. Every tragedy, every loss of life, every act of violence is an offense to Him and His original design for His creation. And this is a comfort to me: that God does not watch our grief and mourning from afar, but He is here, enduring it with us, and He will one day wipe every tear from our eyes (Rev. 21:4). One of my favorite liturgy books, Every Moment Holy, puts it this way: 

“We know if no sparrow falls 

Beyond the ken of your compassion

That you also, in this moment,

Inhabit our sadness at this wounding,

Your weeping at the world’s brokenness

Somehow deeper than our own.” (p. 212)

The Lord is near in the good times and the bad and I look forward to the day when He will restore all of it. 

I have also been learning a lot about what it means to rest. This month has been so BUSY!! And don’t get me wrong, I’m the person who loves to be busy. I kind of feel like I thrive when I have lots to do, which is great because being a fellow means jumping from one thing to the next leaving very little time to take for myself. And, again, don’t get me wrong, everything that I do as a fellow is so rich and lifegiving. But as our fearless leader Ashley reminds us, being a fellow can sometimes feel like you are drinking from a water hose. So much to learn and do and experience! So, this month I have been feeling tired and am learning the importance of resting. 

A couple weekends ago, the fellows went on a retreat with Jason Young, a member of Apostles. Throughout the weekend, we essentially talked about what it means to live well. We walked through 6 steps (or suggestions, if you will) of living wholly in accordance with how God created us. One of the first tips for living well is “Sitting.” Resting requires stillness; it requires “sitting,” so to speak. When we are still, when we rest, we can draw nearer to Jesus and hear from God. Jason argued that resting and being still orients us and gives us a “good place to start.” It’s important for me to remember that God, too, rests, and as His image bearers we are created to rest as well. One book that the fellows are reading, titled Sit Walk Stand, points out that Adam’s first day of existence was in fact the day of God’s rest! God created man on the sixth day of creation and on the seventh day He rested (Gen. 1: 24-2:3). And I don’t think that was a coincidence! Watchman Nee, author of the book, writes, 

“Adam began his life with the sabbath; for God works before He rests, while man must first enter into God’s rest, and then alone he can work (p. 16).”

Taking a sabbath, or resting, is absolutely necessary for me as a human. Resting means recognizing that I am not God and that the world’s functioning does not depend on how much I can get done in a day. So now I find myself asking, “How much am I working for God? And how much am I working with God?” 

Stay tuned next month to see how I’m doing in this department :) Here’s to resting more!!!

What is a favorite memory that you are taking into the next month?

One of my favorite memories is the Micah 6:8 Retreat at the beginning of the month! The retreat was a national conference where fellows programs from around the country gathered for a weekend. While it was so fun to meet people from other programs, I thought the retreat was a great bonding experience for all of us in the Raleigh Fellows. I don’t know, it’s something about camp that just really brings people together! I left the retreat feeling really thankful for the people in this program and the people I have met here in Raleigh. I can’t say enough good things about them! I just love them all. I love Raleigh Fellows. Amen. 

Peace and Blessings 😙✌️,

Emily 

Spooky Season Reflection

Alright, Alright, Alright… 

October is in the rear view mirror. This is me (Matt, duh, who else would be late on their blog?) posting this blog a day late because not only did I forget to do it yesterday, but I am in the midst of a quite bothersome stomach bug. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to flu season. I hope that anyone who finds this blog is in good health along with their family and friends. Nevertheless, October was a good month. Some things that I want to reflect on in this post include healthy life cycles, neighbor to neighbor, and some other highlights. 

On the topic of healthy life cycles (if that is even the appropriate phrase), there has been a theme of fatigue looming over my month of October. Fatigue lately has looked a lot different than my usual experience. To dive into this, I have mostly experienced physical fatigue throughout my life. During October I’ve realized there are so many more ways to experience that feeling. I’ve also learned that fatigue can stem from more than just a lack of physical rest. Not only have I felt physically fatigued, but I have been emotionally and spiritually fatigued as well. With this in mind, I have started to practice different life cycles to alleviate that fatigue. It all can’t be solved with sleep!!! Who knew? It has been fun to learn how to better care for myself emotionally, physically and spiritually throughout fellows. Different things I have done so far as I learn more about how to take care of myself are run, journal, pray (seriously guys we should pray), eat better, and lastly and maybe most importantly step away. Stepping away from some things and being open-handed with God has been such a blessing and also so hard to do well. So here’s to learning how to do that better over the rest of fellows and hopefully for the rest of my life. 

Neighbor to Neighbor has been a blessing in so many ways for me this fall. That didn’t change in October! Spending time with my second-grade buddy Amare on Mondays has been one of the best parts of my week. We like so many of the same things: WWE, Marvel (or any superheroes), sports, and most of the same snacks. Spending time tutoring him has been sweet and easy. I just wanted to take this space to give a quick meaningful shoutout to Amare! 

Other highlights rounding out October are similar to September. The community has been so much fun! I’ve truly enjoyed getting to spend time with each of my fellow friends. Learning how to be in a community after college is hard, and I can’t think of a better group of people to do it with. Even though we were forced into community to an extent, it means a lot to me that the friendships feel organic. So far the fellows program has reeked of the holy spirit, and I feel like that has shown up in the community this year. We also went to the N.C. State Fair. The state fair has a special place in my heart because of the unbelievable amount of food one can consume in a single visit. It’s a good thing that it only comes around for a couple weeks each year. 

To close this October recap I will leave you readers with a lyric from a song that I really like… 

“ If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.” 

See ya next time, Matt 

Neil's October

I have had a great time being a Raleigh fellow in October! I have really enjoyed our classes this month, especially Just Leadership and our class where we took and discussed the Myers-Briggs test. Just Leadership is a great class where we learn about and discuss very difficult issues that are usually very hard to discuss. I have really enjoyed our time with David Spickard because his class feels like a safe space to have honest discussion on these issues, and I feel like I have learned a lot about justice and the Lord’s love for justice. The Myers-Briggs class was very interesting to me because I have never taken a personality test like that before. I thought our teacher, Glenn Rupert, did a great job of explaining our results and making the class fun. I feel like taking this test was a very enriching experience because it taught me a lot about the ways I like to communicate and problem-solve, and how others perceive the ways I do things. I have also had a very productive month of work at RDG (Redeeming Development Group.) I have become more used to my work environment, and I feel that I am becoming more of an asset in the workplace as I am learning how to accomplish my tasks better. I have enjoyed learning more about the construction and real estate businesses, and I look forward to learning more in the workplace over the next few months. One of my favorite moments from this past month was when I went back to Clemson, my alma matter, with the other two tigers in the Fellows Program, Mallory and Janie, for homecoming. I loved talking with them on the car rides, and all going back to experience this place together that means so much to all of us, even though we did not know each other at all when we went to Clemson. Some other highlights from October include shark tank, which was a great way to learn about different local non-profits, and The State Fair which was a really fun experience for me.

Hey October, I'm going to be honest...

… truly the last thing I want to be doing right now is writing this blog. And I like writing. And I like reflecting.

But I also like putting my best self out there. That includes my best work and my best thoughts, and sometimes (spoiler: this is one of those times), I feel as if I have nothing worthwhile to offer. Being the new kid at work is kind of the worst. Being the intern who is behind a desk working on spreadsheets most of the day is not exciting. Being the youngest and least experienced in your office can’t help but raise the questions: WHY AM I HERE? WHAT DO I EVEN BRING TO THE TABLE?

I’ve always been ambitious, and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. It’s difficult for me to sit tight. It’s difficult for me to not be always thinking about how I could be doing more, how I could be doing better, bigger, faster, more efficient, more important. And I get frustrated when I feel like I’m not doing enough. But the truth is that God doesn’t really care. An even bigger truth is that we CANNOT ever be doing enough. But there is respite in knowing that the one who created us IS enough. There is freedom in knowing that we can’t do it all, and that all we could ever need can be found in Him.

Right now I’m learning that sometimes I have nothing to bring to the table. Sometimes, I’m going to be the least intelligent, least knowledgeable person in the room. But to show up each day and do a good job is an act of worship. To be faithful to the tasks that have been set before me, and show up with a heart that wants to honor those tasks is how I can begin to bridge the disconnect between the sacred and the secular in my life.

One of the liturgies from the compilation Every Moment Holy reads:

“Teach me to shepherd the small duties of this day with great love, tending faithfully those tasks you placed within my care.”

I think this reflects a lot about the heart God has for what he has prepared for us. No task is too small to be under the dominion of the One who cares for the details, an intimate ruler, author, King. He cares about what we do, and He cares even more for how we go about doing it. He is able to demonstrate His glory even especially in our weakness. He stands in the gap for us. He intercedes on our behalf. As the honeymoon phase of a bright and shiny new place begins to fade into mundanity, I pray that this would not dilute the beauty of His work in us here, but amplify it even more. That we would be able to settle into the slow rhythms of His goodness even on the most unexciting of days.

What am I to offer to a God who is the King of everything ever created? And who is He to meet these empty hands of mine with forgiveness and favor?

Anyways, I’ve been going to work and God has certainly been going to work and it’s a couple minutes into November 1st even though this is supposed to be my October post (shh don’t tell Ashley, okay?). Learning a lot about His heart for our work and trying to lean into that!!!!! Until next time,

praise God from whom all blessings flow,

Madelyn

On-the-Go and Overwhelming (-ly good) October

Man oh man, October was BUSY y’all! I had to look back over photos to remind myself when this month actually began because it’s all starting to blur. Just in the last two weeks we went to the state fair, I had a birthday, I went to Harrisonburg for homecoming, Madelyn got engaged, Matt’s band performed, and now it’s halloween. It’s been wild.

This month has contained so many fun places, people, and moments, while also being packed with a lot of time spent pondering big thoughts and reflecting on life. The thought that seems to constantly be on my mind these days is how to convert my passions and skills into an actual job. A tale as old as time. My internship for fellows is definitely helping me sort through that thought as I’m getting to see firsthand what it is like working in a church setting. I’m figuring out how to have the place I work also be the place that I worship at, and discovering how to separate those two things rather than have my work lens replace my ability to freely come to church to worship.

One passion that has been reignited within me over the last month through our classes and volunteer opportunities is my concern for justice in this world. Definitely a BIG thought. One of our classes for fellows is called Just Leadership and it is focused on realizing how central God’s heart for justice is to the bible narrative. Through scripture we see justice is important to God because it is who he is, what he loves, what Jesus came to do, what Jesus calls us to do, and that by seeking justice we can experience the fullness of God (if anyone wants the scripture references to those ideas: Isaiah 30:18, Isaiah 61:8, Luke 4:16-20, Micah 6:8, Isaiah 58:10-12). In our class we have started having discussions about how to be “just leaders” in the world, as well as taken time to hear stories and lament over the injustice our world is facing. This month we also got to volunteer at Shark Tank, which is an event put on by a local non-profit called Mission Triangle that gets investors and community leaders from around Raleigh to come together to hear the business plans of three local non-profits and then think through ways to support and grow those non-profits as well as invest in their mission. All of these nonprofits have Christian roots and it was so inspiring to hear how the Lord has called each of them to this work to glorify God and care for his people. Rather than feeling like the amount of brokenness in the world makes seeking justice a lost cause, our class has reminded me that Jesus will restore all things through himself and God has equal care and dominion over every inch of the earth. Restoring justice to the earth does not fall on man alone, PRAISE GOD. A guest speaker at one of our classes said it well, that rather than trying to “do justice,” let us instead be people who live lives marked by a care and concern for justice. So while I still don’t have the answer of how that will play into any future vocation I pursue, I set that as my aim. 

As I said, this month has been full of big thoughts. In addition to lots of thinking about my passions and future employment, I have also had big thoughts on who I am and how God created me uniquely. We had workshops on both the Myers Briggs and Enneagram (I’ve concluded I’m an ISFJ and enneagram 1 if anyone is dying to know), and we’ve started our family systems class. This time of reflection and processing of the information has been really sweet to understand myself better and see myself through the eyes of my creator.

October has been a slight information and event overload but in the best way! I am still SO GRATEFUL to be here, love my fellow fellows more than they know, and am trying to soak up every second of this program because it is already FLYING BY!! Thanks for reading!

Next-up: November.

-Linsey

Em's October 🎃

Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog!! I decided to stick to the questions I asked myself last month because they kind of just cover all the bases and are good reflection questions in general. So here we go!!

What have you loved this month?

I have loved a lot of things this month… I could probably go on and on and on about all of the loveliness of this month. But of all the things, I have loved my host family! The Youngs have opened up their home to me so well and have made me feel part of the family so quickly. They are warm, kind, funny, and in many ways remind me of my own family. Family dinners on Tuesday nights are always a highlight of the week! I never know what exactly the topic of conversation will be, but I know it will be good and I know I will laugh a lot! I have loved getting to know Tucker, Hannah, and Virginia because they rock and are so cool!!! I’m just loving doing life with all of them <3 Also I’m obsessed with their dogs, Moses and Boaz 🥺🥺 

I have loved my sixth grade small group that I’m leading!! They are the sweetest group of girls! Every Sunday night, the whole youth group comes together for worship and afterwards we all split into our small group time. We get to talk about the Lord and His love for them and we also get to be silly and laugh a lot! It’s been a really sweet time and I’m enjoying getting to know them. 

What are you learning?

This month, I think the Lord has been teaching me about His heart for justice and for the vulnerable and oppressed. This semester, we’re in a class called Just Leadership, and we are learning about social justice through a biblical lens. I am learning that as believers, as recipients of grace, our calling is to serve the poor and seek justice for the oppressed. Caring for the underserved and underrepresented is not optional; it is an intricate part of the life of a believer. Such a good class!! It’s so cool to be able to carry what I’m learning in class into my job as well. At Refugee Hope Partners, I get to work and interact with people from all over the world. I’m learning what it looks like to serve those who come from very different backgrounds than me, and I’m realizing the importance of empowering and encouraging them as they navigate how to live in a foreign country. 

I am also learning so much about myself! This month I took the Myers-Briggs personality test and learned my personality type (any other ENFJs out there?!). It’s neat to learn about how I best relate with others and how I operate internally! We also are taking a couple classes on the Enneagram and I’m in the process of figuring out which Enneagram type I am. I have loved reflecting and processing about myself, how I think, and what truly motivates me. I think it’s important that we know ourselves well because God is reflected in each one of us! Knowing myself better means knowing Him better and I think that’s really cool. 

What is a favorite memory that you are taking into the next month? 

There are lots of good memories this month! 

1. The NC State Fair!!! The fair was so fun, overwhelming, disgusting, and chaotic all at the same time!! Unfortunately, we were hit with a torrential downpour on the night we went.. BUT it made for a great memory because we all were running through the fair, soaking wet, laughing and being silly, and it was the best. Good memory for sure. 

2. All the fellows found this really cool cider/brewery with a really neat outdoor area! One Friday night we all hung out, grabbed some cider, and sat around this cool bonfire. So fun!!!

3. ROUNDTABLE!!! I could write a whole essay on why I love Roundtable. I mean, what’s not to like? We eat together, hang out, and talk about important things. I love love love it!

October was just the loveliest and I am loving it down here in THE Raleigh, North Carolina. Thank you Jesus for this month! 

Peace and Blessings 😙✌️🎃🎃,

Emily Kagey

Caamp Enthusiaist Vol. 2

We back. October has been a wild month full of endless adventures and new experiences. Whether that be going to the state fair, exploring the city of Raleigh, or just daily life. My internship at Refugee Hope Partners (RHP) has started to pickup and I have began to work on a lot of different projects that RHP is planning to have. Our Fellows classes have also began to dig deep as well. A lot of our classes have dealt with understanding who we are as people. This theme of finding out more about myself has been in the back of my mind for most of this month and is something that God has really forced me to think about. We have had several classes that have dealt with personality types like Myers-Briggs tests and Enneagram. It’s been insightful and hard to fully think about how God has created me. I came into Fellows feeling like I had it all figured out, but it has been interesting how God has taught me how much I did not know or had wrong about myself. Compared to the previous month, I feel as if this month has been more reflective of who God has created me to be. While I am still processing a lot of what I have learned, I am curious and excited to see what else God is going to reveal during this season of my life.

In Christ,

IA