How much time is left?

Well guys, I am typically not the person that turns stuff in late… but here we are two months in a row. My deepest and most sincere apologies.

So, what have we been up to this month of February? Uhhh many, many things, as per usual. I think we went on approximately 3,000 retreats, so I am tired. Oh, so tired. But, with those retreats comes a deep time of fellowship, learning, and fun with the Fellows. We voted on what Factions (shoutout Divergent) each of us would be in (including our guest speaker, Cameron) during the Career, Calling, and Vocation retreat, had some delicious dinner at Bolash Cafe (shoutout Klaus!) and celebrated Simas’s half birthday… plus a couple days, amongst other good times.

A big struggle for me this month has been sadness. Although saying goodbye is still a few months off, I’ll catch myself thinking about what it’s going to be like to say goodbye to this community. I can’t imagine how I’m going to be able to do it, and the more I think about it, the more anxious I become. It will truly be hard to say goodbye. But, instead of focusing on my fears of leaving, I’ve been challenging myself to focus on the gift of time that I have left. Fun times like Paranoia at the Silent retreat, game nights, and time finishing homework at 7:30 before class because we all forgot. These are precious moments that I need to stand in the midst of, to enjoy and be present in.

Much apologies, and thankfulness,

Gretchen

Women are the coolest

Hey blog! Gibs here! Can I just say that this month was full of strong WOMEN?! As a Meredith College alumna, I think it’s fair to say that this month was Meredith strong, if you will.

I started off February strong with strep throat and a speeding ticket. Someone was praying on my downfall and they succeeded! But, I was an avenging angel and rose from the ashes and still ended up having a pretty great month. #blessed.

Despite my strep and speeding ticket (totally unfair by the way), the Career Calling Vocation Retreat was a huge win in my eyes. Our king, Cameron, really helped us see our strengths and helped us navigate what we’re looking for in a career. Update: I am torn between being a social worker and a hair stylist. A hairapist? We’ll see.

The best part of February was the Women’s Retreat! I met the most AMAZING women that weekend and felt so connected to the community at Apostles. I sat with the coolest women at my table which included: Lauren Mann, Allie Benson, Anne Parker Huret, Shannon Newby, Robbie Litke, Gretchen Bartholomew, and Virginia Lundeen. What a squad. To hear part of their stories and what they have to say was a huge blessing. I just think women are the absolute coolest. What would we do without them?

Another fun thing about February was BOLASH CAFE! I have heard tales about this event all year long and I FINALLY got to experience it! Kind of like any event at Meredith, I can’t explain it. You just have to experience it.

I wanted to add that along with really enjoying my job at Refugee Hope Partners, I really enjoy working with HUNTER DAVIS (aka Ms. Hunter). I have the privilege of sharing an “office” with her throughout the week and making Walmart trips every Thursday to get inventory for RHP. We share so many laughs and have the best time on the clock. I truly don’t know what I would do without her at work. All of my coworkers at RHP are amazing, but I would have to say that Hunter is my favorite.

February was a pretty cool month. Here’s to March!

xoxo,

Gabi

February: Fun, Faithful, Fantastic, Fortunate

Heyyyyy Blog, 

February started on a major high note with the Career Calling and Vocation Retreat with our king, Cameron 👑, who led us through the correlation of faith and work and how our gifts, desires, and opportunities intersect with these two ideas. This retreat was honestly just a lot of fun and I felt like we connected really well as a group and enjoyed our time with one another. We watched the Divergent movies and then proceeded to create a whole Divergent voting game in which we voted for which faction everyone belonged in. Only then to find out that Linda May is Divergent (no surprise there), and to create a new way of saying “ErUDitE” that we literally have not stopped talking about since then. We also played my new favorite game, telephone charades which had me peeing my pants it was so funny, but on that, I’ll just say you had to be there. Not only was the retreat a great bonding experience, but it was also a weekend of great clarity and reassurance. We had a session in which every fellow sat in the “hot seat” and we all had the opportunity to affirm one another in the vocational gifts and talents that we have seen, and for me, a lot of what I received were skills that related to occupational therapy. Then we had one-on-one sessions with Cameron where he went over the assessments we had to take before the retreat and my results also connected very well to occupational therapy or a career in the same field. After hearing these things I couldn’t help but see how God has been more than intentional and faithful in carving out my path. Like how cool that I get to go to grad school and do something that I am passionate about and have gifts for, but even more so how cool that I was able to do the Fellows Program along the way and learn more about who God has created me to be! Like he truly has been so good to me❤️. (Also, UNC beat Duke in their first basketball matchup of the season during that weekend, which was FANTASTIC, so all around, that was one of my favorite retreats🤩)!

This past month we also did a super fun Galentines with Beth Finneran who was the BEST host as we ate yummy snacks, made super cute Valentine’s Day Cards, and had some great girly chats💖. Later that week we also did a Galentine’s with student ministry which was a super sweet time to get to spend with the 10th grade girls that I help lead. While on the topic of girlies, I have been LOVING mentor time with Rebecca lately. She has just been the best and is a wonderful listener who cares for and encourages me so well and whom I have loved creating a relationship with this year. Also, the Women’s Retreat, which I could go on a rant about. Contentment, multigenerational, sunshine, Wilmington, and silent disco; that’s really all you need to know💃🏻! This past month I have felt incredibly fortunate for the women whom God has placed in my life through the Fellows program, like seriously, they’re awesome and I couldn’t be more grateful!!

Thank you, February, you’ve been good🫶🏼!

Peace and Love, 

Girl Hunter 💕🤠✨🪩

Key Moments: King Cameron, GTHD🥰, Galentines, Women’s Retreat, start of Lent, Lake Olympics, snake “wrangling”, Genogram and 360 Review completions👏🏼

The Sound of Silence

What do the dance party of the year and a squirrel have in common?

In the last two weeks of February, I experienced two extraordinary trips. First, when the (lady) Fellows went on Apostle’s women’s retreat, and then, the following weekend, when (all) Fellows traveled to St. Francis Prayer Center for the program’s yearly silent retreat.

These back-to-back weekend retreats felt so wildly different from one another. At the Women’s Retreat, I learned what it means to be content alongside many women of different ages and life experiences. It was an inter-generational opportunity where women could come together, glean from one another, and cherish each other’s unique perspectives. It was a space of encouragement, of Christ’s freedom, and a ground where the women of Apostles could feel deeply seen and heard. It was a weekend of laughter, playfulness, questioning, growth, and outrageous dancing.

The following weekend, as we walked into the atmosphere of St. Francis, it was like time was held still just for us. There was peace and deep-rooted and faithful prayer in every corner of the campus, and the Holy Spirit lingered. For the first time in my life, I stopped. I stopped talking, hurrying, doing, and producing, and instead, I just let out a long-held breath that had been bubbling inside me.

One weekend, I was dancing my heart out in a silent disco and sweating through my clothing from how hard I was shredding moves. The next, I sat in solitude on a bench with nothing else to do but watch the squirrels pass by, yet the Lord was deeply present with me in both experiences.

So, what do the dance party of the year and a squirrel have in common?

Holy Silence.

What I love about Jesus is that he is a God who loves us, and He likes us. He smiles and cherishes when we have a child-like playfulness, dancing crazily for His kingdom in a silent disco. But also, he gently refines our hearts and teaches us about the fullness of His presence when we sit in His presence through our silence and solitude.

In these moments of reflection, I am reminded of how Jesus is in every corner of our lives—in the crazy and the quiet, in the big and the small. He is a God who has enough time for us and can see the depth of our sin and brokenness, yet he always chooses to stay by our sides. How grateful I am for a friend like Jesus!

I am ready to keep on dancing with Him.

Love, Linda May

GOD DID

March 4th, 2024

Welcome back friends! Simas here.

Crazy to say but the end is getting more and more real.

The month of February was honestly such a blur, even with an extra day.

In spite of it being an absolute blur of a month, a greatly apparent theme of Joy has surfaced this month. I have been truly filled with joy and gratefulness for the people that I have come to know so far from this crazy experience of fellows. I’ve had a number of moments where I am just in awe of the kindness and care of God in how he has placed such amazing friends in my life. I think at times I can tend to focus on the negatives, or breeze past blessings, write them off, or even feel guilt for them. This month I think God has been calling me to fully embrace and appreciate the gifts he has brought on me.

I’m now going to list out a couple gifts from God I’ve been relishing in this month.

The gift of work. This is crazy place to start but something we have learned this year is that work is actually a gift from God, and it can actually be fulfilling to treat it that way. Wild, I know. I wish i could say I keep this attitude at all times, but this month I felt I recognized the gift that it is a bit more. I also think that nearing the end of the year, and the reality of working full time, I am looking to shift my view of work to being more appreciative. I have seen God in my work in some weird ways this month, in the woods, in old industrial plants, conversations with workers, and peaceful mornings in excel. I’m still learning to praise God for this one, but He put it on my heart to be more appreciative of it.

The gift of celebration and shared community. This one is a bit more apparent. This month was filled with a lake trip, some birthdays, the Bolash Cafe, many shared meals, and even an unexpected half birthday. I love the way this community celebrates things, big and small. I do think it is in the character of God that he desires for us to be joyful and express our love of the people and things around us. I am thankful that sometimes God wants us to have some fun.

The gifts of silence, solitude, and being unplugged. In contrary to my last point, I think God does love it when we shut up, and leave people alone. I do think He desires to be with us, free of distraction. This has been a massive theme of the month for myself. This lent I gave up Instagram and Tik Tok, the two apps that sucked my time and needlessly stressed me out. Just in the past 3 weeks of lent, I have felt physical relief from removing those distractions, and have felt much more in tune with the Holy Spirt. I feel much more easily pushed to prayer, and thankfulness for God’s provision . Another reason it has been so apparent is because we just got back from our silent retreat. It was so awesome, and I can’t believe I’m saying that. At the beginning of the year many of us joked about how much we were dreading it. Well, it was so so so good. The opportunity to fully unplug, walk around in nature, in silence, and play with God was so soul-filling. I could go on, but I will say, after a full day in silence, it is a miracle that i was craving another one. God has given us a wonderful gift in the opportunity to slow down, shut up, and be with Him. It’s pretty underrated, and I would recommend.

Gonna rapid fire off a few little gifts from the month. The harry potter movies, Chuy’s margritas, Pokemon-Go, Worship, Docksology, tandem bikes, dippin dots, Bunners truck bed, the rain, Laurel Market, Wordle, and Connections. THANKS GOD YOU ROCK.

Until next time.

-Simas

The Weight of Meaning Making

A prayer written on January 24th.

Dear Jesus,

& we are back to journaling— hooray! Lord, this year in Fellows has been filled with so much stretching and growing. There has been so much recently that has been going on in my mind. But, it all really comes down to the timeless question of. “Am I good enough?”. Am I a good enough friend, Lord? I have fallen short in our friendship. Have I made enough phone calls or responded fast enough to people for them to know I care and value them? Am I a good enough worker? Fellow? Daughter? Student? God, I feel like I am just one pace behind where I need to be. That is, being the best and never struggling in what I do— which I know is impossible. Jesus, I get so scared and pushed down by my own emotions when I feel like I have to process them frequently. The weight of these pressures and if I will ever measure up to them feels too heavy to attempt to carry. God, I need you so desperately. I know that I have messed up, sinned, failed, disappointed, and ignored your kingdom. Jesus, please hear me and listen when I call out to you. Intercede for me, I need you to be made whole.

—————————

January has been so full of life, and celebrating, and birthday, and learning, and growth. But this is also the time where the reality begins to seep in and remind us that there is life after Fellows. We cannot stay exactly where we are in this playful rhythm of what is “right now”, forever. That’s where the pressure comes in. Pressure. Pressure. Pressure. The unbearable weight of meaning making becomes so heavy when we assign ourselves the task of creating a perfect structure, the perfect job, the perfect life- on our own.

Yet, even when we are not strong enough to lift the weight of our own desires or expectations of ourselves, when we fail to process or respond healthily, when we let people down. When things don’t go the way we plan. The smallest crack in our own weaknesses and hearts is wide enough for Christ’s redeeming power to enter through. Praise the Lord that I do not have to be strong enough to do life alone. Even if I don’t have the strength to speak the words I need or want to say to the Lord, I do not need to worry. Christ is here even if I do not feel steady— He is enough.

A prayer written today.

Jesus, you are strong enough for the both of us. Thank you that you are with me, and that you are the ultimate author of my story. God, I trust in you more than myself to make all things beautiful and whole. Lord, may your will be done.

Amen.

Love, Linda May

BIRTHDAY MONTH!!!

Hey everybody and welcome back to the show! We took a slightly long hiatus on account of the fact we all forgot about the December post and we were too fixated on vacation time, playing, and getting obscene amounts of sleep.

On this episode, we explore what it looks like to have copious amounts of birthdays in a short period, an amazing retreat by John Richmond, and getting into a better fitness rhythm.

Let’s start with birthdays because that’s truly what this month is about! Linda May, Girl Hunter, Gabi, and Gretchen. Every single birthday was a blast in its own way. From Linda May’s going to a coffee shop/bar/chill library all combined into one and then proceeding to eat pizza and play games! Girl Hunter’s where we ate burgers and played possibly the most interesting version of Putt Putt I’ve ever played! Gabi’s going to her family home for dinner and games and then to Glennwood for a night of dancing! Finishing off with Gretchen’s birthday going to KPOT where we indulged in copious amounts of Korean BBQ that was amazing!

John Richmond Retreat: By far my favorite speaker we’ve had between all the classes, retreats, and the TFI conference; it was just straight-up fire! We went over these 10 “Rules” or “Guidelines” to live your life: 

1. Please God

2. Know your name

3. People are more important than self (Life’s Relationships)

4. Speak truth in Love

5. Feelings are not actions

6. Know how to stop

7. Finish the Job

8. Be generous

9. Happen to your life

10. Make wrong things right 

Overall the reterat was so solid; I hope John writes a book one day, he’s got so many great stories and such a way of bringing the Lord into things.

Next on the list, we’ve got fitness routine and just a healthier routine in general; I’ve started a “75 Soft” or “75 Adult” as it’s just more realistic for me than doing the 75 hard challenge, also the 75 Hard doesn’t leave a day for Sabbath and so I’d never be able to complete a traditional 75 hard anyhow. For my “75 Adult” plan, I’m lifting at least 3 days a week, running 3 days a week, consuming a gallon of water every day (or as close to), and eating healthier overall while still allowing for some fun meals once or twice a week, focusing on eating more homecooked meals, and spending time with the Lord every day, and being very graceful when I don’t fulfill the goals of above^^^

Through doing this I’ve realized how much better I function on a routine or at least a moderate routine. I do miss having days where I can just bum and go with the flow if things pop up and people want to do things. I’ve realized the hard reality that I’ll never be able to go back to my schedule of going to bed at 2 am, waking up when I had to for class (or just sleeping through), coming back and spending time with the Lord later in the day, going to the gym at some point or playing some sport with people, doing school work if I had to, and getting hang with friends literally every day. While it’s sad, it wasn’t healthy and it isn’t the reality of life; definitely doesn’t mean that I can’t implement these things some days through the week, but they can’t be every day, it just isn’t realistic, it isn’t how the Lord calls us into being. 

This month has been a blast, exhausting, and overwhelming at times, but so good! It flew way too fast, but I’m excited for what’s to come next!

Til next episode,

It’s Cha Boi, Bunner Superscrub Biestrath

January: Joyful, Jubilance, Jam-packed, Jazzy

Heyyyyy Blog, 

It has been a sec! So sorry for my absence in December, but I am back🤭!

When reflecting on January, the first word that comes to mind is joyful! January has been full of so many fun celebrations🎉: two of my closest friends getting engaged (shoutout Grace and Emma) and SO MANY BDAYS, including my own. I am not a huge lover of my own birthday. I LOVE other people’s bday’s, but don’t love the attention to be on me, however, I truly felt so loved on and around my birthday. Some of my college friends celebrated me with Crumbl, games, and a sleepover, the Fellows and I got dinner and went to ParTee Shack (a super fun putt-putt place), my host family made me breakfast and did a birthday dinner in which they decorated and all shared an affirmation about me, and then I was able to eat dinner with my family. Like seriously, I felt so loved, seen, and celebrated and really felt an immense amount of jubilance and gratefulness in where the Lord has me and the people he has surrounded me with🥰! Like seriously, my heart is so full.

This past month has been jam-packed with sweet, quality time with people I love as well as a lot of moments of growth for myself and recognition as well as gratefulness for God’s sovereignty. In January I started going to therapy to process things I had wanted to for a while and to work towards a healthier version of myself. I also had two grad school interviews for occupational therapy and was accepted into one program, whoop whoop🤩!!!! When reflecting on God’s plan for my life and the doors he closed last year so that I could go through Fellows and experience all that He had for me and then open up those doors this year has really been a beautiful thing. Last year I was pretty bummed when I didn’t get into those schools, but now I couldn’t be more grateful because of all that I have been able to do and learn this year. God didn’t say no, he just said not yet and when I was not 100% about where I wanted to be next year, the Lord made it abundantly clear through personality/gifts assessments that we have done, as well as through affirmations from the Fellows and other people who know me well. 

Lastly, we went on the John Richmond retreat which was so jazzy and was truly one of my favorite yet and was not only fun with the Trinity Fellows and the extra people, as my extrovertedness was thriving, but I found the content to be extremely insightful. Not to spoil for those who have not attended, but we talked about 10 rules to live a meaningful life as well as spousal selection with which I both gleaned a lot from👏🏼. 

January was a blast!

Peace and Love, 

Girl Hunter 💕🤠✨🪩

Key Moments: Grad school interviews and acceptances, January bday’s, Starting therapy, my second Layaways concert, John Richmond Retreat, David’s (dad’s) book launch, lots of walks, getting back into my gym era💪🏼 

Where's her blog?

Welcome to the Frankenstein blog.

And by Frankenstein, I mean we’re wrapping two blogs into one, because I forgot to do the December blog (my deepest and most sincere apologies).

So, starting in December, we had a group date, OT project presentations, the moss concert, Fellowsgiving, Angus Barn trip, Die Hard 2 with the Bolashes (I missed the first one), Comisky’s Christmas party, the last roundtable (sob)....... I think that’s it.

Fellows is crazy y’all.

THEN I got to go home (crowd cheering effect) and see my mom and dad, brother and his wife, and most importantly, my pets. After one day at home, we hopped on a flight to London. Yes, that London. It was a heck of a time and I’m so glad we went together as a family, I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world. When we came home I got to see my cousins, who are practically my siblings, for the first time in MONTHS. Christmas was such a happy, blessed time with family.

Then, I came back to Raleigh!

January is the month of birthdays for this class of fellows. Linda May, Hunter, Gabi, and I all had birthdays this month, which is crazy. Never have I been a part of a group with this many people being born in January. It has been so great celebrating everyone this month, and in such fun ways that connect to their interests. We played games for Linda May’s birthday at this cozy coffee shop/book store. Next, we went to play minigolf for Hunter’s birthday, but this mingolf was unlike any other. From going down a swing to drop the golf ball in the hole to throwing frisbees to see where we tee’d off from, it was a wild time. Then, we went to Gabi’s childhood home to celebrate her. It was so beautiful to see her with her family and get to enter into that comforting and loving space with the other Fellows. Finally, it was my birthday!! After work, we went to a Korean BBQ spot, which was many of the other Fellows’ first time. Maddie and I got to show them how it's done, and then watch them eat and enjoy Korea’s fine cuisine. I deeply enjoyed watching my friends cook and have fun with the process, it is such a gift when your friends enjoy something you do, too. 

Some other major events for this month were: the John Richmond retreat, where we learned how to live our lives well, principles for picking our spouses, and that puppies do not take away your attention, they in fact reinforce it. My mom also visited this month, and I was so so so thankful. My mom’s birthday is right after mine, so often we celebrate together, especially because my brother lives far away and my dad would often be away for work. It was so fun to see her, shop with her, and just be in her presence/show her around Raleigh!! I miss home a lot, and so look forward to seeing her again in May, and maybe before.

That’s all for now, I feel like I just did an exercise in memory and definitely forgot a few things.

May His face shine upon you,

Gretchen

January: the birthday month

Hey everyone. What are the odds that we had FOUR fellows birthdays to celebrate in January?! Good thing we know how to do birthdays here in the Raleigh Fellows program.

In honor of this stacked birthday month, I’m going to share a little about celebrating our January fellow babies and what makes each of them so special.

First is Linda May. For Linda May’s birthday, we gathered at Beow’s Books and Brews for a game night. This was perfect for Linda May because she loves books, coffee shops, and a good vibe. Gabi and I picked up mellow mushrooms (gluten-free for our birthday girl, of course) and a gluten-free coffee cake to go with the theme. We all got Linda May a book and a cute coffee mug. So points for being on theme for this birthday. It was a sweet night playing code games, probably being too loud, and having good food and beverages. Special things I love about Linda May: her story-telling that will make you pee your pants; her sneaky rat-like behavior; her fun t-shirts and Boujee sunglasses; and her mature and considerate heart. I love you, Linda Mama!

Next was Girl Hunter. For girl hunter’s birthday, we hit up the partee shack for a night of competitive fun on their unique mini golf course. We split into two teams, and Hunter was in her element. Although she wasn’t on the winning team (which I was on, and she did trash talk all night), she did have the lowest score, so that’s impressive. We got Hunter a cute puzzle of the United States with the state flowers on it (nature girl) and a cute stationery. Gabi and I did knock down all the stationary off the shelf at the paper source during this outing, which was embarrassing but worth it. Special things I love about Girl Hunter: her likening for a good, healthy beefing bit, her cuddles and arm tickles, hot girl walking with her, and her helpful and caring heart. I love you, Hunny Bumpkin Peachy Pie!

Then came Gabi. For Gabi’s birthday, we had the treat of going to her parent’s house and being hosted for a delicious taco night, cake, and a Gabi-themed game of fish bowl. It was sweet to meet her family and all 45 of her dogs! We then got on the infamous party bus, which took us downtown to hit the dance floor with our birthday girl. Was there anyone on the dance floor when we got there? No. Did that stop us? no. Obviously, people flocked to it once we got it bumping. We got Gabi some goodies from Ulta (fun fact: she used to work there, but her name tag said Gabe) and a gift card to purchase a little something for herself. Special things I love about Gabi: her humor but also her laugh, her baddie hair and makeup talents, her love for the Carolina hurricanes, and her loyal and passionate heart. I love you, Pookie!

Last, we have Gretchen, sliding in on the 31st. For Gretchen’s birthday, we went out for Korean BBQ. If you know Gretchen, you know she loves Korean pop, culture, and food! She taught us all the ropes at Kpot, and we made the most of the all you can eat (2 hours) self-bbq experience. It was so endearing to see Gretchen share something she loves with us! We got Gretchen a sleek journal and a box of 28 ramen recipes (this girl lives off of ramen). special things I love about Gretchen: her extensive knowledge of random facts (you want her on your trivia team), her niche interests in things like K-pop, her love to parole target and old navy with me, and her sincere and deep heart. I love you, Gretch!

Thanks be to God for giving me these people 23 years ago and aligning their paths with mine through fellows. Thanks be to God for fellows, for birthdays, and for celebrating!

Every day is a gift!

Virginia

Bloom where you are planted

Hello Blog! I blinked and it was already a month into 2024. I am officially halfway done with Raleigh Fellows (WHATTTTT). I literally cannot believe how quickly the program has flown by. I have loved and enjoyed being a part of fellows so much. Thank you to everyone who donated to me and believed in me. I could not be here without your prayers, generosity, and commitment, so thank you <3 

Not to be dramatic, but Raleigh Fellows is the best decision I’ve ever made for my life (that or going to JMU). In this program, I am learning how to steward the gifts God has given me, how to make my own decisions as a flourishing adult, how to trust in the Lord’s provision, and how interconnected our faith is with work. God designed us for work, even before the fall there was a design for work. Work is what brings us flourishing and fulfillment. I am so thankful I am taking these 9 months to really slow down, focus on what gifts God has given, and what vocation He may be calling me to for work. 

Speaking of flourishing! God has been teaching me how to grow where I’m at. Like how to be present where I am and take the opportunities He has given me. The phrase “bloom where you are planted” has been something that’s helped me lean into flourishing here in Raleigh. In one of our spiritual formation classes I was spending time in solitude where God gave me an image of a tree being deeply rooted into the soil. It had deep roots that allowed the tree to stand strong against any wind or uprooting. It was growing bright green leaves that were plentiful and flourishing. My favorite part was seeing the way the sunshine would hit the leaves and create a beautiful light green shade. Almost like they were golden from the sun. The breeze would blow and the tree would bend and sway but not give into the power of the gust. The phrase that kept repeating in my mind was “You unravel me.” Psalm 1:2-3 (but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.” 

Things to know: 

1. On that planet fitness grind with some of the girl fellows

2. Family is really important 

3. Maddie's closet is officially open!

4. I love wearing cowboy boots (this is very NC of me)

5. I french braided Simas hair 

6. I am really good at foosball 

January REPORT: 

R- I’m reading The Universe Next Door by James Sire and Galatians, Ephesians, Colossians, & Galatians  

E- I’m eating frozen chocolate chip waffles (not frozen tho lol)

P- I’m playing A Life Where We Work Out by Flatland Cavalry and Kaitlin Butts

O- I’m obsessed with bruising my teeth with the fellows

R- I recommend the taking a party bus downtown (HBD GABI) 

T- I’m treating myself by making time to run around shelley lake (shout out meg) 

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9

With all the love, Maddie Roberts

I'm 23 now! And I have streptococcus...

HEYYYYY pookies :*

January was a MONTH. An amazing month actually!!! Like December, it was pretty filled to the brim. With a retreat, 4 birthdays, and unfortunately a positive strep test, I had a pretty full month

The first thing I want to highlight is the John Richmond retreat. This was my favorite retreat yet. We got to collab with the Trinity Fellows! What a special treat that was. Although it was a little hectic at times to have 30 people under 1 roof at once, I am so thankful for the opportunity to meet new people and new friends.

John walked us through “The Art of Living Well: 10 Rules for a Meaningful Life”. His rules included:

1. Please God

2. Know your name

3. People are more important than stuff

4. Speak truth in love

5. Feelings are not actions

6. Know how to stop

7. Finish the job

8. Be generous

9. Happen to your life

10. Make wrong things right

Holy moly were those good! I really appreciated his wisdom, his power of storytelling, and the obvious way he loves his family so well that he implemented these life-changing rules to allow their family to grow towards Christ. I can’t wait to adopt these when I have my own family.

The best part of the John Richmond retreat was the panel on spousal selection. This put a lot of things into perspective as a single girl in her 20s. John, his wife, Ashley, Sam, and the Trinity Fellows director had a lot of things to offer us as married Christians who want us to thrive in a marriage one day. The most valuable part of the panel was learning that I need to be steadying my ship as I am in my era of singleness, and that I need to be with someone to is going to keep my pace. So much knowledge was gained from this discussion. I sent my notes to all my friends from college because it was just THAT GOOD! Never settle pookies.

This month was also THE month of birthdays. Happy 23rd birthday to Linda May, Hunter, me, and Gretchen! Jordan year, right? With lots of birthdays comes lots of fellows fun times! For LM we had a cozy game night, for Hunter, we got competitive at Partee Shack, for my birthday my family hosted a taco night at my house (local things), and for Gretchen, everyone went to Korean BBQ. But unfortunately, at this point in the month, I was lying in my childhood bedroom sick so I had to pass that night #fomo #emo.

Having strep has also been no fun. Typing this now as I am on day 4 of antibiotics. I’ll live.

I just want to take a moment to shout out the best mentor ever, KIMBERLY CURLIN! Every Monday we meet at Panera for some mediocre breakfast and coffee, but honestly, it is one of my favorite moments of the week. She loves me so well and it’s obvious how much she truly cares about my life. I walk away from every conversation feeling heard and seen, and knowing that she will be fervently praying for me every day. I gotta say I think I lucked out having a life coach as a mentor :)

January, you will be in my heart forever. I love this month. Best month yet.

xoxo,

Gabi

My January In Abstract Thoughts

Hello. January has been quite the month. There has been much to ponder, much to rejoice, and much to expect. Here is a long list of thoughts that have run through my mind this fine month of being a Raleigh Fellow.

Sharing laughs with my family is one of the most joyous things in my life.

More dinner parties, more breaking bread, but also more eating at restaurants alone.

Celebration of friends is an art.

The crux of my identity should be marked by being Christ’s beloved. When I rest in this truth I walk with new confidence and empathy.

What a gift it is to connect those you care about with one another. May I seek to increase connectedness and never withhold the opportunity for new kinship.

Sometimes you just have to dig a hole.

I am really proud of a lot of people. It is a gift to know so many talented, gracious, funny, intelligent, hardworking, and faithful people. They make me a lot better and I see the reflection of Jesus evidently in the depth of their character.

Sometime you have to eat on the floor.

“To not act on your gifts is to withhold Gods blessing from the world. Who are we to do that.” I want to run against the fear of taking the wrong action. Of course I’ll mess up, get over it and get moving.

A fondue fountain of queso could be gluttony, but it could also be goodness. Posture is important.”

“There is no frictionless reform” - John Cotton Richmond

Let me know in the comments / hit my line if:

You have any questions, comments, or concerns.

Thanks :)

Simas

It's been a minute...

Wellll it’s been a minute but we’re back!! The past couple of months have flown by and I’m starting to realize this is how the rest of my time in Fellows is going to look: busy and fast. But let’s not dwell on that quite yet. 

So January! A lot has happened. Notably, a fun New Years with college friends, many many birthday celebrations, and the John Richmond Retreat. I have to say, the John Richmond retreat might be my favorite so far. We spent the week with our new friends, the Trinity Fellows, learning how to live a meaningful life. I’m incredibly thankful for John and the wisdom he shared over this weekend. I left feeling such a greater sense of identity and purpose, recognizing that I am simply a mist or vapor who is nothing apart from God. What a gift it is to be loved by Him and to attempt to please Him as my life’s mission. But seriously, ask me about this retreat!!

I also want to take this time and space to talk about a few people who have been incredibly important to me over the last 6 months or so. First, Tal and Michael Mangum (my host parents) have been such caring and generous hosts to Gretchen and me. I lucked out in terms of a host family! They have treated both Gretchen and me as one of their own and continue to make time to build such intentional relationships with each of us. They are also both such faithful followers of the Lord and I’m so encouraged by the way they walk hand in hand with the Lord every day. Second is my mentor Beth. I absolutely ADORE Beth Finneran. She is both a role model and friend. Time with her is consumed by unpacking all things good and hard, being offered wisdom, and standing in awe of God’s goodness and faithfulness. She is steadfast and brings so much joy to my life.

Of course, can’t skip over the fellows! As I sit here writing this, I’m surrounded by some of my fellow Fellows at Docksology for our career calling retreat (career talk is stressful ahh). But all that to say, it’s pretty cool to think that at one point I didn't know any of them. Here we are, sitting, resting, and just being in each other’s presence (as we all write our long overdue blogs hahah). It’s crazy to think about the ways they have each impacted my life and how I’m gaining a fuller picture of Christ just by knowing them.

That’s it for now. I know I just jumped all around in this blog post but to sum it all up, I know the months are only going to speed by and I just wanna soak every last bit of it up!

May He bless and keep you,

Meg

Holly Jolly Raleigh Christmas

Hey blog, it’s ya girl, Gibz. It has been a HOT minute since the last blog and we have a lot to catch up on! December was a short month but gosh was it a sweet one! It was jam packed to the brim of fun activities, and reminiscing on the semester.

Group Date!

Ashley and Sam made December start off strong with the first ever ‘Platonic Group Date’. To say it was easily one of the most fun nights of fellows would be an understatement. It was so fun to get to know other fellow alums better and have a night of silly games, good conversation, and lots of laughs. Same time next year?

Fellowsgiving!

Just 2 days after a super fun night (the group date), we had another super fun event, Fellowsgiving. All of the fellows from years prior get together for a big potluck at Ashley’s house and it’s full of lots of laughs and so much fun. It makes me really excited for the young adult community I will be in after Fellows. I know that I will be in the most loving and kind group of young adults who already love me so well!

O.T on da beat

Meg and Maddie and I presented our Old Testament project last month. It wasn’t just any presentation. It was a rap. An amazing rap. A grammy nomination worthy rap. Coming to Spotify soon.

Our rap is entitled “Imago Dei”. If you’re lucky enough to find the video, count your blessings. You will never be the same after listening to it. True story. In all seriousness, I will miss our Old Testament class. I went into the class a little nervous that I wouldn’t enjoy it, but I really did learn so much. A big thank you to Ryan and Emily, Hayes, Cam, and Eric for teaching the class. We hoped you loved teaching as much as we loved having you.

ANGUS BARNNNNN

Yes, the Fellows went to Angus Barn. Crazy. Lit. Movie.

SECRET SANTA

Secret Santa was seriously the best part of the entire month. I was Maddie’s secret Santa and let me just say I had the BEST time elfing her. Thank you to all my minions, Linsey Wenk, Urvi Patel, and Eric Bolash for helping me out. My secret Santa on the other hand was the best surprise treat ever. My secret Santa was ROBIN VINCENT?! WOW what a freakin treat. I did not guess that one. I got the sweetest little gifts and notes throughout the month and felt so so SO loved by her throughout the whole process. Thank you to her minion, Hunter, for tying everything together <3

More Christmas Fun <3
December was tied all together with a pretty little bow with a Christmas party at the Comisky’s. Any excuse to dress up and take pictures while sipping cocktails with your friends is going to be taken advantage of.

What did God teach me this month?

The Lord revealed to me the importance of friendship this month. THIS is what I prayed for all throughout senior year of college! I prayed that this program would give me close and dear friends that would last for a lifetime, and I feel like I got just that. I also learned that I love learning about the old testament? I was SO #sad that O.T was coming to an end. But what a blessing to know that I can still learn so much and know people to ask and help me learn more!

December, you rock.

xoxo,

Gabi

Imago Dei & the Dance Floor

Blog! I’m back! What a joy it is to be together again. Thanks for reading.

December FLEW by. I felt like I was just writing my November blog and here we are with the next monthly update. So what happened this month? Good question… let’s reflect.

First, I want to start with some fun moments, memories, or lessons I’ve been learning so far. Gabi, Meg, and I wrote a rap about being made in the image of God— Imago Dei. We are uploading to SoundCloud soon but if you can’t wait that long, text me and I’ll send it your way. Y’all ever sat backwards in a car on purpose with your seatbelt on? I have. Shout out the whale and I guess Simas too. NEXT! Party bus + Glenwood = the best night downtown. You can be a kid, try finding the fun in each day. Boundaries are a form of self care (thank you to my family systems class for teaching me this one). Fellows is such a deep rooted community and boy am I grateful to be a part of it. Goodbyes are hard, but how beautiful that we get to love people so much it hurts to let them go. It’s kinda funny how God intertwines grieving with celebrating. Still on my concert grind, got to see Simas in his ~element~ (shout out the Moss). All the fellows WILL become golfers… just one at a time. Sarah Creasey came to visit me! Post grad friendships are possible! Daisy 🤝 Christmas sweater. Lastly, I discovered I am most in my element on the dance floor– not sure if anyone is surprised here.

Now we haven’t done an update on each aspect of the program yet, so let’s dive into that. Actually I’d be writing for a while, instead let's just do some highlights of my job instead and fill in the rest later! 

My job! What a joy! I am beyond grateful for my team and for my work placement this year with fellows. Before coming to fellows, we took a lot of time with summer reading and prayer to prepare for work. Learning about the opportunity of work and how God designed His people has been so beautiful. I work as the marketing and communications coordinator for Mission Triangle here in Raleigh. Mission Triangle is a nonprofit that does coaching and consulting for hundreds of nonprofits in the triangle area. They are a christian based organization which has been so cool to bring my faith directly into my work place. I’m not going to lie, when I first started at Mission Triangle, I was worried because I studied health sciences in school and I didn’t feel confident or competent to take on this new role. My boss, Dee, has done an incredible job of building me up, giving me independence to try and learn on my own while still guiding me each step of the way. I have grown so much within the past 4 months with Mission Triangle. Not just professionally, but personally too. I’m learning about collaboration, how important it is being on a team that not only works well together, but likes each other too. I’ve slowly built up my confidence to basically create and manage multiple projects all on my own. I coordinate, collaborate, delegate, communicate, design, and most importantly build relationships with my coworkers. I am the youngest employee in my office by several years, yet the team has done nothing but take me under their wings and support me well! I can actually say I have friends at work, people who have my back in and outside of the office. It is truly a blessing to have a team that not only gets along so well, but pushes one another to Christ. We have a weekly staff devotional time where we come together in scripture and prayer. I am beyond thankful for my time working with Mission triangle as it has shown me such grace and excellence in the work place. Thanks and praise to God for His intentionality in placing me at Mission Triangle and equipping me to do the job well. I am so excited to continue learning and growing my skills professionally in this next year.

Things to know:

1. TESSA IS GONNA BE A RALEIGH FELLOW

2. Linda May will be the most beautiful bride

3. Finally found a place to get my haircut in raleigh (aka I’m becoming a local)

4. More. Sleepovers. More. Sleepovers. 

5. I LOVE film photos

6. Don't touch cheap mugs that’ve been in the microwave

What do I want to do with my next semester in fellows (a new year resolution if you will)?

• Dance at all opportunities 

• Build deeper one on one relationships with each fellow

• Go to Sola more often

• Be disciplined in my sleep 

• Sabbath

December REPORT: 

R- I’m reading Abba's Child Brennan Manning & Psalms 

E- I’m eating soft scrambled eggs

P- I’m playing Revival by Zach Bryan

O- I’m obsessed with the Megan Wu (you’re my everything)

R- I recommend the radio feature on Spotify

T- I’m treating myself by taking my time to get ready in the morning 

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.” – ‭‭Philippians 2:1-2

With all the love, Maddie Roberts

A smidge late, haha my bad yall :/

So November! November was great! Started by going to DC for the National Fellows Conference! Loved it so much and loved getting to see friends from JMU & Young Life! Watching Father David Spickard on stage was so cool, it was basically like having our normal class but he got to tell every other fellow what we’re learning and that was so so special to me!

I finally got a weekend off! It was a much-needed day of rest, I honestly don’t know what I did that day but I know dang well that I slept in reaaaaaal good!

Next weekend we headed off to Ashley’s lake house for a retreat, watched the Dukes lose to App State (big sad, but we still finessed a bowl game), got to hear some great wisdom from Jason Young, and jumped in a freezing lake.

That Monday, before Thanksgiving, was my Birthday, and wow oh wow did the Fellows treat me well, I’d never felt so celebrated in my life! We went down to a food hall in downtown Raleigh and then an arcade bar where a bunch of us fellows entered an air hockey tournament, we didn’t win sadly but it was amazing!

Thanksgiving was great, my mom had back surgery recently and just throughout the week being home she was making great progress, starting to walk without a walker and yesterday she told me she’s feeling comfortable going down stairs now without anyone in front or behind her to watch!

I’m so excited to go home for Christmas and hang with the boys and my family, til next Time!

Hunner Bunner Bun Bun Niestrath

November slipped away like a moment in time

THE BUSIEST MONTH YET

Do you guys know the Lady Gaga quote where she says: “No sleep! Bus, club, another club, plane, next place.” Thats exactly how I felt this month. No sleep! DC, Ashley’s Birthday, Jason Young Retreat, Bunner’s birthday, thanksgiving, hockey game. Although this month was crazy busy, it slipped away like a moment in time. This month was full of laughs, dance parties, late nights, and maybe even a few tears. But hey, that’s life, right?

DC

The Fellows went to DC for the TFI National Conference and we had quite the experience. Let me just say that the TFI Conference was #blessed to hear from THE David Spickard. Even though I had already heard him speak about justice this semester, it was like I was hearing it for the first time again. David, you truly have a gift and I am so glad that you were one of the speakers for the conference. I know everyone learned A LOT.

I also really enjoyed sightseeing and going to different museums with the fellows. We went to the African American and Holocaust museums. Visiting these museums allowed us to have deep conversations about justice and bond with one another on a deeper level.

The highlight of the retreat was getting to see my college bestie, Kate, a fellow at Fourth Pres! I loved meeting fellows from all the different programs and enjoyed being all together for this conference. <3

Jason Young (king)

The BEST retreat so far. Jason is so wise, kind, informative, and hilarious. Jason taught us about holding and carrying pain and how to give it to the Lord. The notes I took from this retreat were lengthy to say the least. I really enjoyed learning from him not only as a fellow, but as a social worker. Hearing a psychologist talk about giving your burdens to the Lord was really powerful for me to learn about. I can’t wait to pick his brain about how to be a believer in his field. I learned a lot from Jason that weekend and I know there is so much more he can teach me.

It was great to be back at the lake of course. Now that we’re actually friends (iykyk), we were able to really let loose with each other and have deep conversations with each other. Thank you Jesus for Lake Gaston!

DAD SPICKARD (king)

My favorite class this semester is Just Leadership. As a social worker, it was truly amazing to hear how much the Lord loves justice. God loves justice and so should we. I have taken more notes in this class than I took in most of my college courses. David taught us the different characteristics of just leaders and what scripture says about justice. The class has been super empowering and truly eye-opening. I am really #emo that the class is almost over, but I know that I will carry the content I learned for a lifetime.

ALEXA, PLAY RAISE UP BY PETEY PABLO

Big Carolina Hurricanes fan speaking. I FINALLY got to bring some of the fellows to a Canes game this month and it was truly a BLAST! My king Sebastian Aho scored a goal with 0.7 seconds left in the third period and let’s just say the fellows screamed out little hearts out. Sadly the Canes lost in OT (boo) but don’t worry, we will still support our boys <33

I love you November!

xoxo,

Gabi

Why Can't I Stop Crying?

This question-as-a-title bit just keeps getting better.

This month was JAM PACKED. We had Meg’s Birthday, the DC Conference, Ashley’s Birthday, my dad visited, LINDA MAY GOT ENGAGED, the Jason Young Retreat, Bunner’s Birthday, I went HOME and so much more. *insert club, another club video here* November was a wild ride full of fun times and fellowship, but also a really hard month for me emotionally. 

As the title suggests, I could not stop crying not one but TWO separate times this month. I did not cry for two years in college, but as soon as I came to Raleigh, the floodgates opened. The first time was due to homesickness. I was struggling with feeling out of place, surrounded by unfamiliar people, and being unanchored to my surroundings. The second time I lost it was at Spiritual Formation, due to some really personal questions and personal answers about building community and friendships. 

Now, why write my blog about these really sad and frankly super vulnerable moments for me?

You are asking the right questions.

Firstly because of honesty. Raleigh Fellows is amazing, I would not trade these people and my experience for anything, but that also doesn’t take away from how hard it has been. I miss my family, my pets, my college friends, my favorite coffee shop (s/o Coffee Cat), and just feeling like I know what’s going on. I am aching for the familiar. I wish I had some inspiring words about these feelings, but I really don’t.

Today, all I can say is someone hit me around the head with a really good bit of truth: I’ve been forgetting the sovereignty of God. Whether it be feelings about myself, group dynamics, what the heck I’m doing, where the time is going, and so, so, so much more, I’ve been much more concerned about my control over it all than how it is all in the hands of God. And that is so much better than it being in mine.

Happy November (three days late),

Gretchen

Treat yo self

To my beloved blog readers, Maddie here (aka to the 1-2 of you that are invested in my experience here in Raleigh– thank you).

We are back with another blog post! It’s about time… I like Raleigh !!! Yay! Been waiting for this one. I think I’ve come to discover that I am really bad with change and I struggle to adjust and get oriented to things. So moving to Raleigh really rocked my world for a while. I can finally say that I am feeling settled, very happy, and actually learning to love Raleigh.

When I first started this fellows program, I knew that it would grow me but I didn't expect how much transformation would happen. Ashley describes it like a toothpaste tube being squeezed so all the toothpaste comes out and gets everywhere. It’s messy and you can’t put the toothpaste back into the tube, you just have to embrace the mess and figure out what God’s trying to clean up within you. I think that about sums up what I’ve been experiencing with fellows so far. SO buckle up, I’ve been learning some deep lessons in November.

What is God teaching me?

I’ve been learning about love. Love for myself and love from God. First, let’s talk about learning about self love. I discovered that I struggle to “treat myself” to things in life. I am not very kind to myself nor do I love myself very well. I feel like if I don’t DO something or achieve something, then I don’t deserve to love myself well. I’m not sure where this skewed and conditional view of love came from, but I’m working on fighting to be kinder to myself and how to be more gentle with myself. One of my fellows recommended that I try to do one nice thing for myself every day. This could look like 5 extra minutes in the shower, buying myself a coffee, an extra 15 minutes of sleep, painting my nails, or going for a walk outside. This has been a hard struggle for me to incorporate into my daily routine. I’m constantly trying to stop the urge to achieve something and prove myself so then I feel like I am deserving of love.

This ties in very closely with the next lesson of love. Love from God. God’s love is unconditional, never ceasing, undeserving, yet freely given. I feel like in the past I’ve always had the head knowledge of this, but could never apply it to the heart knowledge in my life. God is highlighting my skewed view of His love and rewriting it to align with His truth. In my mind, I feel like I have to work to earn His love. Like I have to actually earn His love through my works or actions. But here’s the truth, I don't have to DO anything to receive God’s love. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.”— Ephesians 2:8-9. So what does this mean for me? I am unconditionally loved by God. I do not have to earn His love. There is nothing I can do to receive God’s love, it is a free gift… I can’t add it or lose it. I do not deserve His love, yet I receive God’s love because of His mercy for me. (Romans 5:8)

So here’s what God says about me:

Madeleine Grace, I know you by name.

Madeleine Grace, I have loved you with an everlasting love. 

Madeleine Grace, I have great plans for you. 

Madeleine Grace, nothing can separate you from My love.

Some things to know:

1. I took a few personality assessments

1. My DiSC style is influence

2. My Stand Out strength roles are provider and connector

3. My enneagram number is a 2w3

2. Linda May will be the most beautiful bride (we’re all engaged!)

3. I MIGHT be a UNC fan…

4. Mission Triangle has been the greatest work environment

5. The Patel’s know how to decorate for Christmas 

6. Stretch before you play in an air hockey tournament (still suffering from some back injuries here)

November REPORT: 

R- I’m reading House of Hades by Rick Riordan & Ephesians 

E- I’m eating toast with blueberry jam (from Maine)

P- I’m playing Peach Fuzz by Caamp

O- I’m obsessed with everything Christmas (music & decorations well before thanksgiving… sorry not sorry)

R- I recommend leaning on your fellows (trust is hard but it is so so good)

T- I’m treating myself by allowing myself to enjoy a few extra sips of coffee 

“Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! It is like the precious oil on the head, running down on the beard, on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes! It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion! For there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life forevermore.” – ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭133‬:‭1‬-‭3

With all the love, Maddie Roberts