Second Child, Restless Child

Hey everyone,

I want to start off this blog post with some short highlights of the month of October before I get into length about what is on my mind and what the Holy Spirit is prompting me to write about…

It was my birthday on the 11th, as well as my future sister-in-law’s, Madelynn! Gracie, my fiancée, and I met up with her family where we got to eat FIRE steak. The day before, the fellows brought me to get sushi and then we went and watched the Pharrell Williams Lego Movie, which was honestly one of the best movies in the past couple years. There was sweet, intimate time spent with the fellows in long conversations about questions we’ll never answer. Gracie and I saw Brandon Lake for our third time and saw some great friends In Richmond (Abigail and Coleman). I went up to JMU for homecoming to see the Milkmen. The fellows went to the fair where we spent way too much money just to lose on the games (except Joe). It was a full month with every range of emotion.

There’s so much more I could say, but here’s what I’ve been fixated on: For those of you that don’t know, music is my escape from life’s noise. Most of the time, you'll find me listening to music and searching for new, unique sounds. Okay so, there is this band named The Oh Hellos, who have been one of, if not my, favorite band for awhile. They are able to transform real-life experiences into a profoundly fantastical world. They bring me into this safe place where I am forced to reminisce on experiences and people.

Particularly, their album “Through the Deep, Dark Valley” (TDDV) is what I want to tell you all about. This album is based off of the parable of the lost son in Luke 15 and his journey home. TDDV is a journey through the process of why we continue to run from God. In the song Like the Dawn, they encapsulate what it would be like for Adam to finally see his other needed part, Eve. She is called “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” in Genesis 2 and the lyrics repeat this saying, “Bones of my bones, and flesh of my flesh, at last.” And later we see the introduction of sin as Adam, in this song realizes that, “you (Eve) will surely be the death of me.”

Relating this to where I am in life, with getting married in August, it’s imperative to understand what the foundation of marriage should be. I’m thankful to know that my marriage is not my provider—Jesus is. He is the one who made mine and Gracie’s bones and flesh.

There is this four song section of the album which starts the story of the prodigal son and in this album, he’s named Eustace Scrubb, after the character in The Chronicles of Narnia. In the second of these four songs, Second Child, Restless Child, this young man says “And Heaven knows how hard I tried, but that devil whispered lies I’d believe,” relating back to Adam and Eve, that his (our) pursuit of sin started with them. His narrative is set in the past and later says that “You’ve gotta go on further than you’ve ever gone.” And yes, I have gone far from God and still now, continue to recognize how much I need Jesus.

The third song, Wishing Well, says the son is prone to wander endlessly echoing the hymn “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing,” which they reprise on the last song of the album. It’s beautiful, truly. For those who are unfamiliar, the prodigal son takes his fathers inheritance allocated to him and leaves home to go enjoy the riches of the world, which doesn’t last long. The lyrics show his sorrow:

“Cause, oh, I stole from my father
All I thought I could sell
Tossed his copper, and I watched as it fell
But there wasn’t any water in the wishing well”

This water he was searching for would soon be found, the living water in his Father.

In Memoriam, the last song in this Prodigal Son section, expresses in a wondrous way that if the son comes home, the father will be there. The son knows this, but he can’t accept his father’s love:

“But I'm sure I'll find you waiting there for me
And by the time I blink, I'll see your wild arms swinging
Just to meet me in the middle of the road…

Heaven knows I’m prone to leave the only God I should have loved
And yet you’re far too beautiful to leave me.”

This is where the son admits that it’s not his father who he has left and stolen from, but God. And maybe most of you reading this know this story, but this album explodes with emotion and careful articulation of our need for God and his loving embrace. There’s nothing we can do to escape it, but we need to come home first.

I think this album lives in my soul. There is nothing better in this world than a broken human coming home to the feet of Jesus. I’m going to leave the link to this album below, its 40 minutes, listen if you like. It makes me cry tears of joy and thankfulness. This redemption story is meant for all of us and this album helps me admire it. Listening to TDDV could take a whole day if you let it.

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/65VoSsmtmE2b7VwEvni4D8?si=LIzETe42TvKRQMDNuA-oGw

Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/through-the-deep-dark-valley-ten-year-anniversary-remaster/1646705522

Thanks for reading everyone, I know it was long.
I love you all,

Ryan McKean

Month 2 done! Wow!!

Hi again blog!! 

October is already finished which is CRAZY. Two months of fellows done. There's been so much joy and fun in this month, but as a whole I would say it was a month of learning to settle into routines. You know in the church calendar when there's the whole section in the middle that’s called ordinary time (or normal time idk I'm not really the best church calendar expert- maybe go ask Nick or Elijah, but it's something like that) where there's not really anything crazy going on but the regular rhythms of life and it's not flashy in the way other seasons are but so holy and good. That’s what this has felt like. The initial adrenaline of newness has begun to fade, my daily rhythms are emerging and it's just so holy and good. 

I think a big lesson I've been learning in this season is to let myself lean into what I need day to day. Fellows is so full and joyful and so in the small moments of filling my free time it's really highlighted my struggle to just let myself enjoy small moments and be okay with the weight of not experiencing it all. Shocking news I know, but I actually can't do everything fully all the time. But I'm grateful for the ways the Lord reminds me of my finitude and the ways he reminds me I actually wasn’t meant to experience it all. Rather he has given me freedom to lean into things that I care about, and he cares about the things I care about !! That’s so cool. I'm rambling, but really this is just a thank you to my mentor Gretchen and my mom for always reminding me I have permission to lean into what is good for me in small moments.  

Little things that have brought me joy this month: karaoke with my small group, eating pickles at the fair, carving pumpkins with Mark and Mona, bible recap texts with Cora Carr, watching Little Women at girls night, going for walks among the fall leaves, calling my dad, eating lunch in the fellows lounge, watching Anna lead worship, singing the doxology  

This months stats: 

CAPTRUST cold brews- 15 

Prizes Joe won at the fair- 4 

Cries- 9 

Fall walks- 5 

That’s all I've got for now !! Surely his goodness and mercy will follow me!! 

All my love! 

Lola 

October Fun Fellows Flicks

HEYYY BLOG!

This month has been FUN! I have enjoyed getting to know each person deeper the past few weeks. Let me be first to say that it is weird and uncomfortable to let down walls with such a large group of people, but I have been welcomed well and appreciate all the ways that people have let me into their lives! While diving deep, we have taken some silly pics that capture the vibe of the Fellows! The shared album currently has 726 pictures and 97 videos!

<3, AG

To KNOW and LOVE Evy, you must KNOW how much she does not LOVE fish!

One of the things that Evy has shared with the Fellows is how much she hates fish of any kind. I am so proud of her for facing her fears by living at a house with koi fish, seeing pictures of Jenna bow fishing, and experiencing all the goldfish at the fair!! Go get a chocolate chip waffle as a treat cause you deserve it after all that!!!

HOWDY COWGIRL JENNA 🤠

Let me say that I am fully impressed by her pure talent. She rode a mechanical bull to the speed of 5 out of 8! Bull riding on its own is hard, but while “IT’S CORN! A BIG LUMP WITH KNOBS!” blared on speakers truly is out of this world. I am so glad I got to experience this with you, Jenna!

My Second month! crazy stuff

Hello Everyone! I am so excited to share what has been happening here in Raleigh.

First I wanted to take a second to thank everyone who donated and supported me financially for me to be here to experience the Lord like I have. I am excited to announce that the day before this program started I was officially fully funded. This was the biggest prayer answered and I am blown away by the genreosity and kindness of those around me. I never thought I would have the opportunity to be blessed the way I have been. So once again thank you for trusting the Lord and trusting me to follow his path.

Lets get into it!

This month has been amazing, and I have been having so much fun! We have really gotten into our classes for the fall now and it’s been so much fun! The first class we started was Just Leadership. We are learning about how to be good advocates and voices for God’s unheard people. We took a pilgrimage through downtown Raleigh one Friday morning and we were told of the citi’s origins, how things were covered up, and how to be a good neighbor. Another class we are taking is Family Systems. This class is about how families work and dives deep into how we were brought up, still caring family trauma, etc. So, as a psych major I am just loving it. We are also taking Bible classes, and this fall is the Old Testament, and I am learning so much about just the history and how Jesus was so present in the Old Testament, I truly had no clue. It is such an amazing insight with our teachers Ryan and Emily Walker, they are so wise and passionate about the word, it’s just beautiful.

I am so excited for what is to come. In November we are going to DC for the national conference for The Fellows Initiative and we are also going to Nicaragua!

Recommendations!

• NeighborHealth everyone should go there for their healthcare needs. (I work here)

• drinking coffee (even decaf) i just love coffee

• fishing (me and some fellows went fishing in a pond, best friday afternoon ever)

• playing outside!! any and everything play related, but more specially volleyball

• Song recs:

  • I’m still fine by The Red Clay Strays (live at the ryman)

  • Sleeping Alone by Flatland calvary

  • I’ll never let you go by Zach Webb

  • Open arms by gavn!

  • Creep by radiohead (glee version)

  • Waving through a window (dear evan hansen)

  • Seventeen (heathers)

  • Where did I go wrong by Crowe Boys

Talk to you guys next month - Jenna!!

My Second Blog Post

I went to Texas this past weekend (“this past weekend” meaning October 25th-27th). My good friend Barrett Conner is a very talented musician, and he had the opportunity to play in Dallas, Houston, and Austin. Also in Texas this weekend were some more of my good friends: Tristan, Luke, Owen, Tommy, and Drew. They are some of my closest friends from college, and I haven’t seen them since the summer. I was picked up from Dallas Fort Worth International by Luke, Tristan, and their friend Ben. I had met Ben before, and it was great to see him that night. We met the others at Whataburger. I don’t like Whataburger, but I did that night. We said our goodbyes to Ben (Ben it was good to see ya man), spent the night in Frisco, and then drove to Houston the next day.

It was a four hour drive to Houston, accompanied by Barrett and Tommy. I enjoyed catching up with them and talking about life. I’ve been told that Houston is the armpit of Texas. I kinda like Houston so I’ll call it my armpit of Texas. We also had a running joke to tell Luke that Houston is better than Dallas (he now lives in Dallas and is doing the Fellows program there). We all met up at the venue before Tristan, Owen, and I took our bags to the house we were staying at that night. The house belonged to Tristan’s friend. I didn’t believe in four story houses until that day. We unloaded our luggage and met them back at the venue, driving the opposite direction of a one way street only one time in the process.

Barrett Conner is a very talented musician. I don’t know much, but I know that well enough to say it two times in three paragraphs. I’ve seen Barrett perform many times, yet each time it feels like my first. I won’t talk about his performing because I believe that one day you’ll make your way to a Barrett concert (I believe in that more than four story houses). What I will talk about is the meaning behind this concert. To watch one of my best friends do what I—and many others—believe he is called to do is such a gift. When I say that he is talented, what I really mean to say is that he is special, and I hope that everyone has an opportunity to witness that someday.

We left Houston Sunday morning and drove two hours to Austin. This time I was with Tristan and Luke. Those two guys are my brothers (not by blood but there’s no better word I could use). Luke’s the reason I was in Texas that weekend, and I’m glad I got to thank him for that. Tristan is doing the Fellows program in Colorado Springs, and he and I had a great conversation about the past two months. The first thing we did in Austin was hit up Barton Springs, which is a natural pool just outside downtown Austin. Afterwards we grabbed some food, and then I was dropped off at Austin-Bergstrom International to fly back to Raleigh. I was picked up in Raleigh by my friends Ryan and Bryan (if you don’t know them you’re missing out). It’s a blessing to not have to worry about transportation after you get off of a plane. Thank you Ryan and Bryan.

I want to tell you about this song called “The Rabbit, the Bat, and the Reindeer” by Dr. Dog. I’ve been listening to it for a while now, but only recently have I figured out what it means (at least what it means to me). These are the lyrics to the end of the song:

“I’m gettin it back with that terrible feelin

My vision is cracked but it looks like it’s healin

I’m gettin it back like it’s four in the mornin

When the sun only shines cause it’s been given a warnin

I’m gettin it back with the rest of the leap year

I’m takin the rabbit, the bat, and the reindeer

I’m gettin it out, whatever I gotta keep in

I’m tellin the truths that I don’t when we pretend

Should we pretend?”

I’m pretty sure “the rabbit, the bat, and the reindeer” refers to Easter, Halloween, and Christmas. I can do without the bat, but that’s not the point. I think I got a lot back this weekend. I got a lot back eating Whataburger with my friends in Texas. I got a lot back listening to Drew talk about grad school in Texas. I got a lot back laughing with Owen. It’s in his genes to make people laugh. I got a lot back making the blinds go up and down by the push of a button in that four story house. Tristan and I really got a kick out of that. I got a lot back watching Tommy do wicked flips off of the diving board at Barton springs. I got a lot back watching Luke do an impersonation of a man formally known as “southern guy”. Next time you see me, ask me about southern guy. I got a lot back watching Barrett do the thing he loves and was made for, and I got a lot back when Ryan and Bryan lovingly picked me up from the airport to ask me about my weekend. I don’t know what “it” is that I got, and I don’t fully know what I did to lose it in the first place, but I do know that I got some of it back this weekend. I have no one to thank for that other than my aforementioned friends.

I’d be pretty naive to think that this song only has one meaning, and that the meaning of it is to illustrate my thoughts and feelings about this past weekend. Turns out I’m pretty naive, so if you told me that I’d probably believe it.

Not as much as four story houses though.

Love, Bailey

RALLOWS MONTH 2: PP

Don’t worry everyone, I’m here to talk PRAYER PARTNERS… not pp.

Prayer Partners (AKA PP), has been a simple yet fulfilling joy of Raleigh Fellows. Each week we are randomly paired with another fellow to plan intentional time to just play and pray. Let me take you along all my PP times I have had the pleasure of having in these past two months.

AG: Our first round of prayer partners! I was MORE than excited when AG suggested that we hit up Five Guys for prayer partner time. Getting to hang out one-on-one with someone was everything I could have ever wanted after a week with 14 new strangers. We talked about the 6th-grade girls we were about to meet in the next hour (co-leaders!!!) and also a good bit about our families. AG is so chill to be with. She listens well and has great things to say (and she’s obviously so lit because she loves Five Guys and shared her fries with me).

ASHLEY: No way we get to have prayer partner time with the one and only Ashbut Crutchfield! Mom Barbie scooped me up after class and drove us to Deja Vu for some coffee pp time (mid pouring down rain). Talking to Ashley is always fun, as many of you know. Ashley has a gift for asking the perfect questions and showing full interest in whatever answer. After we Deja Vued it up, we stopped by Swaggy Boutique (Justin Bieber would love this) and giggled and giggled at all the funny dish towels and socks. Ashley is so epic.

RYAN: Yeah Ryan is so cool. We decided to go for a walk before roundtable around the Crutchfield hood. We discussed what our hardest part of fellows has been and what the easiest/best part has been so far. Once again, so nice to have a one-on-one conversation and get to the real of things. Ryan is always really good at that. He is direct and real, which is highly appreciated by our fellows class. Praying with Ryan was lit but also funny. It’s not often you walk around praying for one another with your eyes wide open. Or maybe you do, uh but this was pretty new to me.

JOSH: Josh! The ultimate goose whisperer. We took a peaceful walk around Shelley Lake… which happens to be packed with GEESE. I love Josh’s love for all things geese, ducks, hunting, and his buddies of course. His excitement and passion for the things he loves is truly inspiring. My favorite part of our prayer partner time was when we stood on a bridge looking over the lake and watched the ducks swim around. I didn’t know places like this existed in Raleigh and I was glad I got to experience it with Josh. Three cheers for Josh and learning about duck calls! And another wide-eyed prayer walk.

EMMA: The Beav! Our Michigan girl. For this particular prayer partner time I wanted to plan out all North Carolina activities for our cherished Michigan girl. Emma was a great sport for having just flown back from a weekend in Michigan and had no idea of what my plan was. After class one morning we took a bit of a drive to Umstead Park (for the great Carolina pines) listening to some of the classic NC songs. After our wonderful walk and conversation in the woods, I drove Emma to none other than WAFFLE HOUSE! Time with Emma is a time full of laughter, joy, deep wisdom, and comfort… aaand chocolate chip waffles.

BAILEY: 3 WORDS… HUNGER GAMES SIMULATION. After work one day we hit up the nearest gas station to St.Davids for some Red Bulls (it so happens that fellows and working with middle schoolers require a good bit of caffeine). Then we went to REI for funsies (Boonies love REI I hear). AND THEN, Bailey set up our very own online Hunger Games simulation with names of random people (it’s not weird guys, it’s cool and normal). This was so lit, we laughed so hard we cried. Bailey is straight-up fun and the most epic co-worker you could ever imagine.

Praying and having intentional time with new people, especially people you have known for only a month or two, is definitely a learning experience. I have greatly enjoyed learning more about how to pray and care for one another. Praise the Lord for PP time and many more to come. Also HUGE shoutout to Pauline for leading us in one of my favorite parts/classes of fellows so far: Prayer with Pauline. Pauline is awesome and so are the things she teaches us about prayer and time spent with and listening to God.

This month I recommend… PP time, KNITTING!!!! (shoutout Emily Walker for teaching me how to knit), Hunger Games, only going to the state fair once, carving pumpkins with Mark and Mona, blasting Glee songs in the car with Jenna, and Tech Decks.

Peace & love & until next month,

Evy :)

Month Two Electric Boogaloo

Drew and I crushing the rest of the 6th grade boys in Mario Kart for small group breakouts

My first non-sick blog post!!!

Has it really only been 2 months? It honestly feels a lot longer. Between getting to know so many new people, deepening friendships with the other fellows, settling into my job, and the many deep discussions we have on an almost daily basis, it really feels like I’ve been here longer

Here are some highlights from the past month:

1: A renewed intimacy with God in prayer and study.

Now that I’ve started to adjust to my new environment and have been able to form new habits, my devotional life is coming back to life. Spending time alone with the Lord is often something that waxes and wanes throughout seasons of my life. Senior year and my summer leading up to fellows were filled with a lot of stress and anxiety about where I was going in my career and leaving behind old friendships. Sadly I found that my time with God was often unfruitful and my thoughts were constantly clouded over. This month has been the opposite. I feel like God is showing me new things in his word each day, and that prayer has become a renewed place of strength and delight in the love of God

2: The death of small talk

Don’t get me wrong, small talk isn’t all bad. But MAN was month 1 unbearable in this regard. The amount of newness was really overwhelming and I found myself resorting to the same dry conversation starters over and over again. I was constantly anxious that people wouldn’t really enjoy who I was so I kept more quiet than I normally would be. In month two I think I’ve been opening up a lot more, and have started feeling like myself again.

3: simple delights of everyday fellows life

Cooking fills me with so much life. It’s a creative exercise that clears my head, gives me something to be proud of, and lets me physically feel better than eating takeout all the time. Now that I’m developing more of a schedule and rhythm of life I’ve been able to cook more and it’s been wonderful. Dog sitting for the Mill’s was also a simple delight I got to enjoy this month. Getting to hangout with Maggie and Winston was a ton of fun and the added responsibility made me feel more fulfilled in the mornings before I left for whatever I was doing that day


Continued struggles and prayer requests

That hardest part of fellows is definitely energy management. For those who don’t know I have a condition know as EDS which causes me a decent amount of chronic pain and fatigue. This coupled with the busy nature of the fellows program often means that I’m fully burnt out by the end of each day. I don’t sleep as well as I should, I’m too reliant on caffeine, and I need to be more disciplined with my screen time. Prayers for wisdom in this area of my life would be greatly appreciated

For God to increase what he has already started. This month has show the first fruits of a lot things I believe that Lord wants to work in me over the course of these 9 months. And to that I say “More Lord!”. More intimacy with God! More intentional conversations/relationships! More gratitude in daily life! More healthy habits and responsible living! More discernment over my calling! Everything God is already doing, please pray that he does it in even greater measure

To all my Friends, Family, Donors, and prayer warriors interceding on my behalf, thank you for everything

Until next time

-Elijah McGrath

My first month of Fellows

Hey guys, this is Josh. 

I moved down to Raleigh a month ago to be a fellow, and it’s been awesome! I’ve met a million awesome people and 13 really awesome fellows. I met a bunch of really cool and also crazy 7th and 8th graders that I get to lead in the youth ministry. I met my host family, Bill and Joanna Refvem, and they are amazing! I really appreciate their humble hospitality.

One of my favorite things we did this month was Fall Camp. We went to New Life camp for a weekend with the youth ministry. It was super fun, and I got to spend quality time with the kids. I got to go fishing with the boys down at the pond, which is one of my favorite things. We had really good conversations during small groups, and I got to know the guys a lot better. I 10/10 recommend Fall camp!

I am working for Redeeming Development Group (RDG) with a bunch of men who go to Apostles including our very own Fellows First Lady, Sam Crutchfield. After a stressful summer working for the corporate machine back in Virginia, it has been a breath of fresh air to work with such awesome people who love each other well and look to serve the community. RDG has some really cool stuff in the works and I’m excited to get to help out!

Until next time,

Josh Gressett

My First Blog Post

Hello to everyone who is reading this. My name is Bailey and I’m a Raleigh Fellow. This is my first blog post. Admittedly, I do not know what to write about for this blog post. As I’m typing, I’m thankful for the red squiggly line that let’s me know I’m a bed speller. I’m also thankful to have learned how to spell “admittedly”.

It’s pretty difficult for me to capture everything that I’ve experienced over the past three weeks in one blog post. There’s been a lot of love, a lot of fun, a lot of meeting people, a lot of being tired from meeting people (please don’t take it personally people that I’ve met, you’re all so lovely and I’ve loved meeting you all), and a lot of “new”. New city, new job, new friends (shoutout my new friends), new house (shoutout Jason and Mary Young), and even a new dog (shoutout Boots Young). I think change is good. It’s taken me a long time to come around to that.

Undoubtedly one of my favorite things about Raleigh Fellows so far is meeting the people that I will spend ~a lot~ of time with over the next eight months. I’m excited to learn more about my other friends doing the Fellows program here in Raleigh. I was going to refer to them as “the other Fellows” but that didn’t feel right. It’s abundantly clear to me the gift that it is to have strong community directly after graduating and moving away from my college town. Josh, Jenna, Joe, Skip, Emma, Evy, Lola, Ryan, Celeste, Elijah, Tessa, Bryan, AG, and of course, Ashley… thanks for being here.

One of my biggest goals since being in Raleigh has been to find a good place to get a meal. I know that there are so many great places to eat, but I’m looking for one with a specific kind of personality. Somewhere that isn’t trying to do too much. Somewhere that encourages people to come as they are. I have this dream of owning a sandwich place in New York City, located on a street corner. It would have breakfast sandwiches and lunch sandwiches. Ideally I would hire someone with a thick northern accent, who knew how to make sandwiches really well. He would go by “Marty”. There would also be a high school student who would stop by my sandwich shop everyday, lay down a five dollar bill, take his sandwich that was carefully constructed minutes before opening, and go to school. That dream of mine is never gonna come true because I don’t think that I’ll ever live in New York City, but my more realistic dream of finding that kind of eating establishment in Raleigh is very much still alive.

I recently went to Tookie’s with a small group of my friends. When I walked in, I felt like I had gone there my whole life, even though it was my first time eating there. The owner, Deborah (married to Tookie himself), treated us as if she’d known us for years and knew we were coming. They served their sweet tea in a plastic pitcher that sat beside the drink machine. Knowing what you now know, I don’t have to tell you it was good sweet tea for you to know that it was good sweet tea. Tookie’s is located beside a gas station convenient store. I want to go there everyday. That said, if you know any other restaurants that are adjacent to Tookie’s, let me know please.

My song recommendation for this post is “Solid Ground” by Barrett. I’m excited for the next eight months in Raleigh.

Love, Bailey

September Fun Fellows Flicks

What’s up BLOG!!!

I love pictures and taking pictures of my friends. Thankfully, I just made 14 new friends with cute faces to take pictures of! Currently, on our shared picture album, there are 453 pictures and 58 videos. As much as I would love to add you to this album so you could see all the antics the Fellows get up to, sadly, I cannot. BUT, I can share 2 from this month and give some context along the way! Hope you enjoy these snapshots into the life of Raleigh Fellows!

<3, AG

Hello Mr. McKnight aka Boat Driver

During the Orientation retreat, Bailey decided that he would fearlessly drive the boat, but out of nowhere, a wake boat sped by, and the waves that it created were almost too much for our driver with 3 minutes of experience. I am proud to say that he handled it to the best of his abilities, and Ashley took back over moments later.

NC STATE STUDENT IN HIS NATURAL HABITAT ON HILLSBOROUGH STREET!!! Jk, it’s just Bryan our favorite Clemson Tiger (check out the t-shirt) (no he does not surf)

A fun weekend outing that some of the Fellows went to was a backyard concert! S/O The Layaways!! This brought all of us back to our college years, and Bryan really stepped into the role of NCSU freshman student.

Meet Bryan Polk. A freshman living in Alexander Hall. He is from Canada and is majoring in mechanical engineering. Welcome to State Bryan!

First month going on forever (in a good way) -jenna :)

WOW,

I simply can not believe I have only been in Raleigh for a month.

On a serious note, I have been challenged already in ways I did not know would even be a possibility. These fellows have sought to know me and that is so new. It is hard not to get in my own way of growing but the Lord is calling me out of that! I am excited to be pushed to new limits, and do a little pushing myself to the other fellows. Thank you Jesus for placing me here so carefully and thoughtfully. I was blessed with an amazing host family the Miedemas! They are truly the embodiment of peace and joy in the lord and living here has evaded my life with it! Ashley Crutchfield you are a blessing! She loves hard and shows grace and mercy so evidently. Anna Farmer, my mentor has quickly become a whisper in the chaos! Fellows I could already say a million tings about each of you but I will refrain. I already love you all so much! I can’t wait to know you all deeply and fully!

Here are my wonderful first impressions of Raleigh so far:

1. Everywhere is 15 minutes away.

2. The streets are so TINY (and bumpy).

3. Houses are SO pretty!

4. It is way hotter here than Western NC.

5. Raleigh Style is real.

6. Apostles so sweet and spirit filled.

7. There are so many places to go on walks.

8. Every restaurant is here? quite literally all of them.

Recoomendation:

Luke 7:36-50 Then listen to Luke 7 “See you Right” by MBL Worship

Joe's blog

Hello world, its Joe

This past month has been the beginning of a new season of life and it has been a blast becoming a Raleigh fellow. I have experienced a wide range of emotions over the recent weeks. From saying goodbye to my former job and saying hello to all things fellows.

Here are some updates of my life:

-I have 13 new friends! They are great and I look forward to sharing more about them. Also, we have a great program director, Ashley, she has been so fun and so kind.

-I work at Edward Jones with Andy Cook. Andy also attends Apostles and has been kind to have a fellow join his branch. Over the past few years all the jobs I’ve done have been ministry related so this has been a brand new experience! So far I have really enjoyed Edward Jones and am looking forward to all that I learn through this job.

-I live with the Bokowy family. It has been a great time living with them and getting to know them. Also, they love sports like me so its been fun watching sports together.

The rest of my schedule is the same as all my fellows. I will share in more detail in future blogs. I am running short on time because I am about to volunteer at neighbor to neighbor and hang with my boy Ja’khari. But I hope whoever is reading this is having a good day!

A whole new world

Hey everyone! I’m Elijah and I’m so excited to be a fellow this year. Its hard to believe its already been a month. Each day has held something totally new and its been both exhilarating and overwhelming. I feel like the metaphorical carpet that was my old life has been ripped out from under me, and now I get the chance to build something new with God.

Here’s a short list of a few “news” I’ve been adjusting too

1: New church (Apostles!!)

2: New denomination (Anglicans are way cooler than expected)

3: New job (Pastoral intern! Definitely one of the highlights of the experience so far)

4: new host family (The lovely Wilsons)

5: 13 new amazing friends ( Seriously guys they’re so cool)

6: New city (Why is everyone so friendly in the south??)

7: and so much more

Truthfully its harder for me to think of things that aren’t new! Because of this I have found myself in an awkward place in my faith. On one hand I’m blessed beyond measure and expectant for the future. On the other, I’m finding it difficult to feel at home and settle in to the program. Currently I a writing this blog the night before it is due, with the scraps of energy I’ve mustered together despite being very sick for this past week, so forgive me if this posts carries a bit of a pessimistic tone. But I really am happy here. My job is everything I could’ve hoped for, as I basically get paid to be a bible nerd and help out behind the scenes on various church tasks. I’ve greatly enjoyed all of the late night cookout runs, guys nights at the boulton’s, intimate times of sharing testimonies, and retreats. Being the 6th grade guys small group leader alongside Bailey has been great as well. I expect that future blogs might have more substance, but for now I need to take some cough medicine and go back to sleep. To everyone who has made it possible for me to do this program, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. To everyone in the program who have made it their mission to disciple and send recent college graduates like me thank you too!

With a grateful and sincere heart,

Elijah McGrath

We're Live!

“We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God” - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

During our Orientation Retreat, we talked about inconveniencing ourselves for the sake of God and others. I thought that sounded great, and pretty easy considering how much I was enjoying the other fellows just 24 hours into knowing them. I didn’t expect to be the one causing myself the most inconvenience. Every part of this program, Ashley and Sam, the Daniel family (my host family) the fellows, Apostles church, my work, has been evidence of Christ’s grace to me. Making space for them has felt light, but having to deal with myself leaves me feeling exhausted.

As amazing as everything is, the constant change and depth of conversation/ content is hard. A good, humbling hard, but it makes me feel weak nonetheless. It’s massively inconvenient and at times frustrated. But we must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God. And my weak flesh may be the thorn in my side reminding me that the Father is meeting me here. And that I need to stop hurrying through what feels uncomfortable, and instead run to Him so He can tell me about myself by teaching me about Him. And He has been revealing Himself , in Evy’s warm smile and my coworkers encouragement, and all the laughing so hard I fall to the ground that has happened since being here. All this to say life is beautiful and Fellows is an answer to prayer as it is already growing and refining me. Excited for what’s to come!! Psalm 34

-Tessa Cyrus

RALLOWS: MONTH 1

HI!

ONE MONTH DOWN, EIGHT TO GO! Time slow down!

This is Evy otherwise known as Chevy. Hailing from Charlotte, but fondly from Boone ROLL NEERS! I am so excited to be a Raleigh Fellow this year and excited for all the big and little things that come with that.

To be so honest, I was very unsure about coming here and what fellow life would look like. Leaving all the things I know and love to come to a place with all things I don’t know did not sound ideal. BUT I am pleasantly surprised at how much I have already come to love Raleigh Fellows. I want to shout out my wonderful house fam Mark and Mona (and the incredible cooking), my awesome buddy Linsey, my super cool mentor Emily, the 6th-grade little lambs, all the staff at St.Davids School, and the epic fellows teachers!!!

And the ultimate shoutout to the 13 people (plus Ashley) that I am so grateful I get to do life with for the coming months. There is something so special and unique about all 14 of these people. To express how special they are, here is a word for each fellow that I feel represents a unique part of each of them:

Joe is TENDER (obviously), Skip is SILLY, Celeste is BRAVE, Bailey is COMFORTING, Emma is DOPE, Tessa is DOWN-TO-EARTH, Bryan is KIND, Lola is BRIGHT, Ryan is THOUGHTFUL, Jenna is WISE, Josh is GENTLE, Elijah is HUMBLE, AG is MINDFUL, and Ashley is LOVELY! I am so thankful for each one of you and the vulnerability and excitement you all have been bringing to this table.

I RECOMMEND… these people, middle schoolers, going to class, “In the Garden” by Johnny Cash, John 15ing, and Tookies.

Peace & love & until next time, Chevy :)

Lola Moves to Raleigh!!

Hi blog !! It’s Lola!!

I actually have not a clue where this space is going to lead but as a huge verbal processor I’m thrilled to find out what I learn. Thanks for joining me on that process. There’s a lot I could say in trying to explain my last month here. But let me just start with this. My word for this year has been expectant. I’ve been seeking to learn that the Lord provides in abundance despite my fears of scarcity. Learning to lean into Psalm 23:6 (which Ashley wrote in my notebook bc she’s the best !!) and trust that his goodness and mercy will follow me. And boy has this month been a way the Lord has been at work in teaching me to see his goodness!!

Don’t get me wrong this has been a lot of transition. And as someone who is classically terrible at transition that’s been overwhelming. There’s been ups and downs and highs and lows and tears and smiles! But what a cool experience to see how many incredible things come out of the newness. New best friends! New church community! New people who pour into me! New people to pour into! A new job in a completely new environment! A new home! A new city! A new state! But in all of that new that just 4 weeks ago felt so unknown there has been the sweetest outpouring of grace. And its teaching me to be expectant (living my word of the year !!!) for all that is to come. A note to Lola of the future- as things get more comfortable don’t forget the ways the Lord has shown up particularly in the overwhelming of the newness, the ways his grace has been particularly sufficient here.

I feel like there’s so much that I could talk about in this space. A blessing of fellows has been how many pieces there are that all function together. But before I make myself overwhelmed I’m just going to stick to a list of some sweet moments: meals around Ashley’s table getting to hear about everyones week, my new job looking out for me and helping me settle in, Mona teaching me and Evy to cook, birthday picnics, piling into cars together, sitting as people bravely and honestly share their stories (if I may be as bold as to pick a very favorite part so far this is it), praying together, sitting on a boat and being in my favorite lake, exploring new places, little moments with my friends who remind me what it is to be known as I build that here too, going to class (eep I missed being a student and being excited to learn), hearing the wisdom that is being poured into me. PGFWABF !!

And to be deeply in character let me end with some statistics for the month:

Days as a Fellow: - 26

New dogs petted:- 5

Times I’ve cried:- 12

Times I’ve called my mom: 16

Sweet new friends: 13

Thats all for now. Surely his goodness and mercy will follow me!!

-Lola

What the Raleigh!

Hello to all the blog readers, I’m Ryan! This has been a crazy first month, filled with a lot of new people who have been so welcoming, and a bunch of responsibility! First off, thank you all at home in Maine and Virginia for supporting me enough to get down here and encouraging me that this was a great step to take in my faith and in my vocational path.

This month started with a ton of anticipation, and it has been exceeded abundantly. Ashley, our fellows director, has been incredibly vulnerable and honest, so Ashley, thank you for being great. Our group of 14 has been a joy! There are so many little connections between us all, and the variety of personalities is awesome to be able to connect with. I can already tell that I will be pushed and challenged spiritually and socially by these young men and women, which is a good thing. This program is weird… in the best way. I moved into another family’s home (the Boultons). They’re so great. Coming from a house where it was just myself and my mom, living with six others is an adjustment I am excited to go through.

I am the Operations intern at Apostles Raleigh, and my job has been a wide variety of tasks that the church needs me to do. I’ve gained 13 new friends who have been so sweet. Coming into the program, I didn’t think it would be so easy to start off with this many new people. I feel blessed, out of place, and fine to be in limbo.

Here are some moments that I want to remember in the future:

1. The first week, we stayed at Ashley’s lake house where we got to jet ski, which was so sick. The Boultons took me wake surfing, and I loved getting to know all the fellows. Such happy moments.

2. Hearing the fellows’ testimonies has been life-giving. They have been so vulnerable, and it’s encouraging to see what God has done.

3. We went to camp with the children’s ministry at church and got to lead them. It was a great weekend of getting to see the lives of the kids and their hearts.

4. Watching RedZone at the Honey House. FOOTBALL PATRIOTS!

5. Neighbor to Neighbor. The boy, Juelz, that I’m mentoring is so sweet. I wish I could hang with him more than once a week!

Okay, thanks for reading, guys. I share my testimony this week, which will be awesome to bring these people into the deep parts of my life.

- Ryan McKean

Oh Hey Raleigh!

HEY BLOG!!

Is this the right time to mention I have a crippling fear of other people reading the things I write?? …. WELLLL guess I’m getting over that fear quickly! ALRIGHT LET’S GOOO.

Somehow I’ve been in Raleigh for a month now!! Truly a pinch me moment. September felt like a full-blown whirlwind of people, emotions, and new things upon new things upon new things. And in case you were wondering, the new thing I’m looking forward to the most right now is FALL!!!! (For context, I’m from Texas where Fall looks like a whole lotta brown leaves and 90° weather… Future me, I hope you appreciate the crisp weather and Fall colors even more than I am anticipating it right now!)

Circling back to my confession of crippling fears earlier, I also have a nearly crippling fear of starting a new thing. It used to be the entire idea of new things, but the older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve come to realize that it's not the new thing that’s scary, it's the start of it. The unknown beginning. The way everything I’ve been anticipating could culminate in either completely surpassing expectations and being everything I could’ve dreamed of and more (!!), or, it could be every worst fear I’ve ever fretted or worried about come to fruition. Spooky. And honestly? I was terrified that the people I would be around would be people I didn’t like. Or that the job I had would be something I was under-qualified for. Or that I would feel utterly alone and away from all my close friends and family. Or that… the list could go on. I went on a walk with my buddy (shoutout Maddie!) on the second day I was in Raleigh and told her some of these fears. She talked me through the “worst case scenario” where I didn’t get along with everyone or didn’t like the things I was doing. She very gently and very directly pointed out a fallacy in my thinking. I was convinced that those things would be the worst case scenario because then life wouldn’t feel easy and silly goofy and fun, like I wanted it to. But the truth is, in those very moments where it feels hard and icky and messy, God is ever so present and drawing near to me, and actively using those moments to prune me and refine me and create deeper trust and intimacy with him. What a terribly beautiful concept!! And oh, how appealing comfort and ease can seem!! But if that is what I define as being “right” and “good,” I’ve completely missed out on the beauty of life with God.

Anyway, that was just a long introduction before I say that I really love it here!! In my completely biased opinion, this group of Fellows is the best there ever was. I get to do life with 13 other people who are the biggest goofballs, fierce encouragers, courageously vulnerable, and just so dang fun! On top of that, I get to work in an organization that engages in caring for the nations right here in Raleigh. I attend classes that challenge both my head knowledge and my holistic well-being. I get to be a youth leader once again for high school girls! And I am poured into probably more than ever before by literally the coolest people ever.

I almost wrote this blog post as just a list of moments and memories I’m thankful for. For some reason it didn’t sit with me quite right to be the way I introduced myself. But ya know what? I’m still going to list a few for future me to look back on and remember. Because time is fleeting, and we only have 8 months left!! So, in no particular order, I am THANKFUL for sunny days at the lake and late night plunges. For meals together around the table. For living in the same town as Liz again!! For walks with my host sister (HI GABBY!! I put you in my blog!!!) and host dog (I didn’t forget to put Jax in either!!) to get ice cream. I’m thankful for SQUARE DANCING!!! Thankful for good books, making canva invitations, learning how to get places without using maps, new coffee shops to go to, greenways to run on, mentors who pray for me, birthday celebrations, the way Skip says HI, sleepovers!, thoughtful conversations, games that leave me screaming on the floor, friends who laugh at me when I do that, and for all the chaos that comes from having 13 built in best friends. And right now, I’m deeply thankful for the trust that comes from transparency and vulnerability.

September was a gift. Cheers to another 8 months of Raleigh Fellows class of 2025!!! And to another 8 months of me conquering my fear of public writing…

OKAY BYE!!

Celeste

Michigan moves South!

Hey hey!!

Are we seriously one month in already?? Just 4 short weeks ago I was living in Michigan surrounded by all things familiar and planning for the big move to North Carolina, and now here I am.

Though I admittedly still have much to learn about what all is encompassed in the Fellows program, I continue to be blown away by how much of a perfectly answered prayer it is. Going into my senior year, I knew I wanted to see a new place, work somewhere where I could both make money and get clinical hours for medical school, do something that felt relevant to the callings I have felt on my life, and ideally to throw in some component of intentional spiritual growth. Little did I know, a program like the Raleigh Fellows checks off every box.

10 things I have been extremely thankful for in the first few weeks:

1. The other 13 fellows are actually cool! (Phew)

2. My midwestern accent has only been called out a couple of times.

3. The weather has been so beautiful, unlike everyone warned me about before I left.

4. I have begun to find routes around Raleigh that allow me to avoid 440.

5. My host family is intentional in getting to know me and love me well.

6. Each of the classes feels not only directly relevant to my life, but also exciting.

7. My job at Neighbor Health gives me a glimpse into how I can love a variety of people well through my work (and I get to work with my buddy @Virginia)

8. The 11th grade girls at the church are so wise and fun, and I get the privilege of helping lead them this year.

9. Relationships between fellows are slowly deepening as we get to know one another more intentionally.

10. I am finally beginning to feel grounded and dare I say excited to see what things in my life God is ready to tear up and rewrite.

Of course, there are always more things to be thankful for, many of which I might not see until later in the year, but for now I am content to rest in the blessings of the answered prayers found here in Raleigh.

-Emma :))

Hello North Carolina,

Hello!

I'm happy to share I’ve completed my first month as a Raleigh Fellow. And let me tell you, this experience is unlike anything I’ve ever done before. I keep saying, “I wish everyone could go through this,” but honestly, it’s not easy to explain.

Here I am, 22 years old, living with a family that’s not mine, working at a job someone else found for me, and sharing life with 13 friends I didn’t choose. It all feels so different from what I expected after college—getting a job, my own place, and setting out on my own. It’s strange, but maybe that’s the point. Maybe God’s path is meant to feel unexpected and inconvenient.

The truth is, this program feels like hitting the pause button on my life. Instead of rushing into “what’s next,” I’m learning how to live more intentionally. It’s been a time of reflection—examining the path that brought me here, recognizing my patterns, understanding how I see myself, and listening for how God sees me.

For now, I’m viewing this as the beginning of a new chapter in my life. Rather than trying to categorize or predict what the rest of this experience will look like, I’m just going to leave it undefined.

-Skip