Okay people. We are going to talk about the enneagram for a minute.
Upon hearing the word “enneagram", I assume you are feeling one of two things. You could be SUPER excited, not to mention that you were just on instagram last night looking through memes on your number. OR you are considering closing out this blog right now because you cannot tolerate to hear another Christian talk about their enneagram number. The latter was me. Up until last week.
“I don’t like to be put in a box.” This is the common argument when it comes to enneagram skeptics. How on earth could there be only 9 numbers that describe the entire population? To think about the uniqueness of each individual, it is hard to believe that we could narrow it down to “typing” people in this manner. And even if you do relate to one of these types, what is the importance beyond the number? These were all thoughts I had.
Through this program, the fellows participate in an “Enneagram Workshop.” The closer we were to approaching this workshop, the more frustrated I was becoming. Why did we have to spend an entire day on these silly numbers? What If I don’t identify with any of the numbers? Then what?
But then, the Lord started to shift something in my heart when I picked up the book “Self to Lose, Self to Find.” As I began to read the beautifully written words of Marilyn Vancil, my entire perspective on this “enneagram fad” started to change. My eyes were opened to the true purpose of these numbers. The title “Self to Lose, Self to Find” says it all.
I couldn’t explain this better than the author herself, so I’m going to quote a section from the chapter, “Three Invitations From Jesus.”
“God has beautiful and unique designs for each of us. He alone knows how the various pieces of our lives will fit together to create a stunning masterpiece. His intention is for us to live as our true self, the unique expression of His image in union with Him, and THIS is what brings Him glory. We “miss the mark” when we live lesser lives and instead of believing His deep love and holy purposes for us, we cling to our own ways of satisfying our needs. We “aim at other marks” that we think will ensure our safety and security, give us power and control, and earn affection and esteem. In this sense sin is refusing to put on the true self and living for the old self as if its all we have. It’s using our lives for a lesser destiny than a covenant of love with Him.”
These words were liberating for me. Each of us has a false and a true self. A self to lose and a self to find. The false self is an identity that is rooted in the comforts of this world because that is where we often feel “secure.” The false self is our old self- our old self which was put to death when Christ conquered the grave. Yet we still run back to it. We lose sight of the true self & new identify that Jesus has offered us- the true self that is created to reflect God’s image in a unique way, which is the only path to true flourishing. We are made alive in Christ through His resurrection. We no longer have to hold onto our old selves, but we can step into an identity rooted in God’s deep love and holy purposes for our lives.
The enneagram is a pathway in revealing our true and false selves, our new and old identities. And from the words of Fil Anderson (the man who led our workshop): the purpose is not to put you in a box, but just the opposite. It is meant to free us from the box. It frees us from the old self we often cling to. The enneagram reveals the beautiful gifts that the Lord has given us. But it also uncovers how we can misuse those gifts and they become no longer glorifying to Him. In doing that we are living out of our false or “adapted” self that seeks comfort and security outside of the Lord. Upon figuring out my number, it was very convicting but also incredibly freeing. I was able to identify the ways I live out of my false self, but then could claim that those ways had NO HOLD ON ME. Because of Christ, my old self has been put to death and I can choose daily to put on my NEW SELF that has been bought with the blood of Christ. No- its definitely not always easy to deny these desires of my flesh, but I’m not alone in this. My true self in Christ only comes from an utter dependency on Him for every step I take. This is all by His grace alone.
Oh, and for those who have been waiting this whole time for my number, I’m a six ;)
See you all next month, sorry i’m 13 days late this time.
xoxo
Emme Slaton