Hello to all the friends and avid blog readers that find themselves here once again-it’s so good to have you back! “It’s SO good to have YOU back!” The previous statement is one I find myself hearing quite a bit lately. I heard it today as I walked into work; my boss greeted me with the biggest hug and couldn't help but say it over and over. I heard it again on New Year’s Eve when I walked through the door of the Bolashes’ home as I returned to Raleigh from Christmas break. Ashley expressed a similar sentiment when I decided to stay and quarantine at Lake Gaston after our career, calling, and vocation retreat took a turn that was less than desirable (yes, covid ran its annoying and frustrating course per usual). But despite such a rocky start to our second semester of fellows, I find myself SO glad to be back HERE.
December was a month where I found myself wishing I had more energy, more hours in the day (especially when the sun is setting on my way home from work *insert crying emoji here*), and more time with God. I’ll be honest. For Advent to be a season about joyful expectation and eager anticipation about the coming of our Messiah, it felt more like a hurried and rushed, kind of pacing back and forth waiting for me. I kept praying, “Lord, please let it slow down. It’s passing by too fast!” I felt like the whole month was a wash, because I didn’t enjoy Christmas the way I desired to. (Okay, I know it seems like this blog post has taken a turn for the worst, but hang on! It gets better; I promise.)
Like I mentioned earlier, the past week consisted of a retreat, positive covid tests, and a whole lot of goodness I’m going to try and put into words (spoiler alert: the following sentences don’t do it nearly enough justice). Our speaker at the retreat, the lovely and former Australian, now U.S. citizen-Bruce, spoke with us about what our future may look like and what God has in mind for His people when it comes to work and life and really just everything. During one of his lectures, he said something that caught my ear and had my full attention at once. He said, “You need to ask yourself what puts a fire in your belly”. ALRIGHT LORD! I’M LISTENING NOW!! And while I’m still sorting out my answer to this profound and worthwhile question, I think the most notable thing to address here is how this call to action beckons us toward Jesus, God himself in the flesh.
I can’t imagine how Mary responded to realizing the Savior of the world would come to be in the world through her earthly and virgin body, but I like to think it felt something like ‘having a fire in your belly’. The point I’m trying to make here is that the Lord’s timing is SO MUCH BETTER than the instant gratification-fake stuff we trick ourselves into wanting. For me, I wanted so badly to enjoy Christmas at the time it was happening. For Mary, I bet she just wanted to survive, so the first Christmas could actually take place how the angel told her it would. Don’t get me wrong y’all, I’m surely not trying to compare myself to Mary, the mother of Jesus, here. What I am trying to do is take note of how the Lord’s redemptive work comes to us in the most unexpected and unlikely places.
My quarantine at Lake Gaston was a time I’m going to hold near and dear for the rest of my life. There’s just something about being told you have to stay home and can’t go anywhere for a week that makes you better, physically and spiritually. My week at Lake Gaston got me to pay attention to how the Lord’s knack for making things new and right is tucked into every corner and pocket of this life, we just gotta have eyes that want to see it. Funny how I notice the Lord more when I pay attention to the life he’s given me instead of fixing my fleeting heart on the feelings that come from my present circumstances. Huh, would you look at that? God is real good at what He does y’all! IT. IS. GOOD. to be back in Raleigh for semester 2! Praying the second half is just as humbling as the first.
With joy and in Christ always,
Kassie Starnes