Moments with Mal #3

As I look back at November (and literally look at my planner to remember it all), November was a month full of gatherings! My November was full of moments where people gathered together to worship, learn, and laugh. 

We kicked the month off with probably our largest gathering of this month. The Raleigh Fellows packed our cars to the brim and picked up two California Fellows along the way to Camp Oak Hill for the TFI National Conference. At the conference, we talked about how vocation, justice, and faith are all intertwined. As someone who would just love to know what my dream job is and search Indeed.com for that right now, it was really encouraging to hear from speakers and directors about how the Lord uses our different passions and gifts at different times. There were certain jobs where they felt like they were thriving. There were others where that wasn’t the case even though they created the job description. All this to say, it’s a journey. They had many tips about discernment which I appreciated greatly as someone who would love to just answer the question, “What’s next?”

We also got to meet fellows from all over the country. It was funny and encouraging to have convos with people from all over who were doing such similar things to us. We didn’t have to explain what a host fam was to each other or what we were doing for the next 9 months. Instead, we got to connect over what the Lord has already been teaching us in a time like this and in different cities. I especially loved getting to meet and play ultimate frisbee with the Memphis Fellows! I’m still bitter about our loss in the frisbee tournament, but it’s safe to say our team had some of the best dance moves and cheers out there. 

The next week, our church had a worship night in the middle of the week. I loved gathering with all different people from the congregation and just finding rest and peace in that moment. I’ve been to worship nights before coming to Apostles, but it had always been like where you only knew the people you came with, and it was just something trendy to do it seemed. This felt authentic as I looked around and saw people who we’ve met over the past couple of months and have gotten to know. Our church also did a service day at Refugee Hope. It was so cool seeing where Emily and Ian work! I loved getting to help but also getting a glimpse at what they do and at what community they are a part of at work. They’re doing some truly special and sweet things there!

We got a time to gather back at the lake for the Jason Young retreat the next weekend which was super sweet since we haven’t been back there since we started the program and all met each other! That’s kind of wild to even just think about! Oh, we were so awkward, and then we returned to the lake and were just thankful that these friendships are forming and that we have each other. Jason shared with us 6 “stones”, or 6 ways to live well, and then “a blessing” is the glue that holds these stones together. He offered encouragement and a blessing to each of us through telling stories and just sharing time with us which I’m super thankful for. 10/10 would go back to do this retreat all over again. That’s how great it was!

When I got back, my work had a potluck, and then I went home to Georgia for thanksgiving. Afterwards, I ventured up to Clemson to see old roommates. We don’t need to discuss the game…and when I got back to Raleigh, I saw a bunch of the fellows! We got some dinner, and I was thankful to be back with each of them and to be laughing around the table once again. Overall, this month’s moments showed me that the Lord is at and in each gathering, no matter the size. He uses fellowship to encourage us and teach us what the body of Christ really looks like. In solitude, we spend quality time with Him, and in gatherings, He surrounds us with His love through His people. God’s there with us in the times of worship, learning, and laughing!

John 13:34-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Em's November 🍁🍂🦃

Hello world and welcome back to my blog!! This month I have a lot of thoughts and a lot of things to say! No pressure to read it all of course, but in case you want a detailed description of what’s going on in the inner workings of my mind, here you go…… 

What have you loved this month?

Throughout November we have been able to meet with a lot of different people in the Raleigh community and I’ve really loved it. In one of our Just Leadership classes, we heard from a panel who spoke with us about justice in our communities. They answered questions like What does justice look like in the workplace? and How can we be just in our communities? The panelists talked about bringing Shalom (peace) to our communities and how Jesus will bring ultimate Shalom when He comes to restore the world. What stood out to me the most was the idea of allowing for “gleaning” in our vocations. Practiced in the Bible and commanded by God, gleaning happens when harvesters leave the edges of their fields untouched for the poor to harvest for themselves. For example, Ruth gleaned, reaping the harvest from Boaz’s fields (Ruth 2:2-3). One of the panelists wonderfully incorporated gleaning into the present day. He asked us, “How can you maximize the corners of your fields?” In other words, “Who can glean, who can benefit from your vocation?” It really got me thinking! What are ways that I could incorporate serving the underserved in my own future career? How could I provide services for those who may otherwise not receive them? Meeting these panelists who live and work in Raleigh was so inspiring and really got the juices flowing for me! 

Another community member we had the privilege of meeting this month was Pastor Phillip Walker, senior pastor at Mt. Pleasant Worship and Outreach Center. As pastor of the church for almost thirty years, Pastor Walker shared his incredible journey of doing restorative work for a community that was once riddled with violence and brokenness. Through prayer, patience, and waiting on the Lord, Pastor Walker watched as God used the Church to transform one of the more dangerous streets in Raleigh into one that is flourishing and productive. God revealed to Pastor Walker that the Church should not run from the problem; rather, the church ought to run toward the problem. He encouraged us to dream with God when it comes to doing restorative work. His wise words and his life of service to the Lord were such an inspiration to me. I’m still thinking through and processing what all of this might mean for my own life, but I just feel thankful to have met him and to have learned from him. 

What are you learning?

While this is pretty somber and unlike my other upbeat blog posts, this month I am learning about the Lord’s presence in the midst of sadness, grief, and brokenness. As an alum of UVA, I was absolutely heartbroken to hear the news of the Charlottesville shooting that resulted in the deaths of 3 men and the injuries of two men. It’s devastating to watch something so tragic happen to a community I care for so very deeply. The tragedy brought me to Psalm 13 when David is crying out to the Lord. Feeling abandoned by God, David cries, 

“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from 

me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all day?” (vv. 1-2)

While David is referring to personal abandonment here, I would argue that all of creation cries out these words in the midst of brokenness. I find myself asking the Lord, “How long until you will make all of this right?” However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that God is not absent in grief. He, too, feels the brokenness of the world and He grieves with us. Every tragedy, every loss of life, every act of violence is an offense to Him and His original design for His creation. And this is a comfort to me: that God does not watch our grief and mourning from afar, but He is here, enduring it with us, and He will one day wipe every tear from our eyes (Rev. 21:4). One of my favorite liturgy books, Every Moment Holy, puts it this way: 

“We know if no sparrow falls 

Beyond the ken of your compassion

That you also, in this moment,

Inhabit our sadness at this wounding,

Your weeping at the world’s brokenness

Somehow deeper than our own.” (p. 212)

The Lord is near in the good times and the bad and I look forward to the day when He will restore all of it. 

I have also been learning a lot about what it means to rest. This month has been so BUSY!! And don’t get me wrong, I’m the person who loves to be busy. I kind of feel like I thrive when I have lots to do, which is great because being a fellow means jumping from one thing to the next leaving very little time to take for myself. And, again, don’t get me wrong, everything that I do as a fellow is so rich and lifegiving. But as our fearless leader Ashley reminds us, being a fellow can sometimes feel like you are drinking from a water hose. So much to learn and do and experience! So, this month I have been feeling tired and am learning the importance of resting. 

A couple weekends ago, the fellows went on a retreat with Jason Young, a member of Apostles. Throughout the weekend, we essentially talked about what it means to live well. We walked through 6 steps (or suggestions, if you will) of living wholly in accordance with how God created us. One of the first tips for living well is “Sitting.” Resting requires stillness; it requires “sitting,” so to speak. When we are still, when we rest, we can draw nearer to Jesus and hear from God. Jason argued that resting and being still orients us and gives us a “good place to start.” It’s important for me to remember that God, too, rests, and as His image bearers we are created to rest as well. One book that the fellows are reading, titled Sit Walk Stand, points out that Adam’s first day of existence was in fact the day of God’s rest! God created man on the sixth day of creation and on the seventh day He rested (Gen. 1: 24-2:3). And I don’t think that was a coincidence! Watchman Nee, author of the book, writes, 

“Adam began his life with the sabbath; for God works before He rests, while man must first enter into God’s rest, and then alone he can work (p. 16).”

Taking a sabbath, or resting, is absolutely necessary for me as a human. Resting means recognizing that I am not God and that the world’s functioning does not depend on how much I can get done in a day. So now I find myself asking, “How much am I working for God? And how much am I working with God?” 

Stay tuned next month to see how I’m doing in this department :) Here’s to resting more!!!

What is a favorite memory that you are taking into the next month?

One of my favorite memories is the Micah 6:8 Retreat at the beginning of the month! The retreat was a national conference where fellows programs from around the country gathered for a weekend. While it was so fun to meet people from other programs, I thought the retreat was a great bonding experience for all of us in the Raleigh Fellows. I don’t know, it’s something about camp that just really brings people together! I left the retreat feeling really thankful for the people in this program and the people I have met here in Raleigh. I can’t say enough good things about them! I just love them all. I love Raleigh Fellows. Amen. 

Peace and Blessings 😙✌️,

Emily 

Spooky Season Reflection

Alright, Alright, Alright… 

October is in the rear view mirror. This is me (Matt, duh, who else would be late on their blog?) posting this blog a day late because not only did I forget to do it yesterday, but I am in the midst of a quite bothersome stomach bug. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to flu season. I hope that anyone who finds this blog is in good health along with their family and friends. Nevertheless, October was a good month. Some things that I want to reflect on in this post include healthy life cycles, neighbor to neighbor, and some other highlights. 

On the topic of healthy life cycles (if that is even the appropriate phrase), there has been a theme of fatigue looming over my month of October. Fatigue lately has looked a lot different than my usual experience. To dive into this, I have mostly experienced physical fatigue throughout my life. During October I’ve realized there are so many more ways to experience that feeling. I’ve also learned that fatigue can stem from more than just a lack of physical rest. Not only have I felt physically fatigued, but I have been emotionally and spiritually fatigued as well. With this in mind, I have started to practice different life cycles to alleviate that fatigue. It all can’t be solved with sleep!!! Who knew? It has been fun to learn how to better care for myself emotionally, physically and spiritually throughout fellows. Different things I have done so far as I learn more about how to take care of myself are run, journal, pray (seriously guys we should pray), eat better, and lastly and maybe most importantly step away. Stepping away from some things and being open-handed with God has been such a blessing and also so hard to do well. So here’s to learning how to do that better over the rest of fellows and hopefully for the rest of my life. 

Neighbor to Neighbor has been a blessing in so many ways for me this fall. That didn’t change in October! Spending time with my second-grade buddy Amare on Mondays has been one of the best parts of my week. We like so many of the same things: WWE, Marvel (or any superheroes), sports, and most of the same snacks. Spending time tutoring him has been sweet and easy. I just wanted to take this space to give a quick meaningful shoutout to Amare! 

Other highlights rounding out October are similar to September. The community has been so much fun! I’ve truly enjoyed getting to spend time with each of my fellow friends. Learning how to be in a community after college is hard, and I can’t think of a better group of people to do it with. Even though we were forced into community to an extent, it means a lot to me that the friendships feel organic. So far the fellows program has reeked of the holy spirit, and I feel like that has shown up in the community this year. We also went to the N.C. State Fair. The state fair has a special place in my heart because of the unbelievable amount of food one can consume in a single visit. It’s a good thing that it only comes around for a couple weeks each year. 

To close this October recap I will leave you readers with a lyric from a song that I really like… 

“ If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.” 

See ya next time, Matt 

Neil's October

I have had a great time being a Raleigh fellow in October! I have really enjoyed our classes this month, especially Just Leadership and our class where we took and discussed the Myers-Briggs test. Just Leadership is a great class where we learn about and discuss very difficult issues that are usually very hard to discuss. I have really enjoyed our time with David Spickard because his class feels like a safe space to have honest discussion on these issues, and I feel like I have learned a lot about justice and the Lord’s love for justice. The Myers-Briggs class was very interesting to me because I have never taken a personality test like that before. I thought our teacher, Glenn Rupert, did a great job of explaining our results and making the class fun. I feel like taking this test was a very enriching experience because it taught me a lot about the ways I like to communicate and problem-solve, and how others perceive the ways I do things. I have also had a very productive month of work at RDG (Redeeming Development Group.) I have become more used to my work environment, and I feel that I am becoming more of an asset in the workplace as I am learning how to accomplish my tasks better. I have enjoyed learning more about the construction and real estate businesses, and I look forward to learning more in the workplace over the next few months. One of my favorite moments from this past month was when I went back to Clemson, my alma matter, with the other two tigers in the Fellows Program, Mallory and Janie, for homecoming. I loved talking with them on the car rides, and all going back to experience this place together that means so much to all of us, even though we did not know each other at all when we went to Clemson. Some other highlights from October include shark tank, which was a great way to learn about different local non-profits, and The State Fair which was a really fun experience for me.

Hey October, I'm going to be honest...

… truly the last thing I want to be doing right now is writing this blog. And I like writing. And I like reflecting.

But I also like putting my best self out there. That includes my best work and my best thoughts, and sometimes (spoiler: this is one of those times), I feel as if I have nothing worthwhile to offer. Being the new kid at work is kind of the worst. Being the intern who is behind a desk working on spreadsheets most of the day is not exciting. Being the youngest and least experienced in your office can’t help but raise the questions: WHY AM I HERE? WHAT DO I EVEN BRING TO THE TABLE?

I’ve always been ambitious, and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. It’s difficult for me to sit tight. It’s difficult for me to not be always thinking about how I could be doing more, how I could be doing better, bigger, faster, more efficient, more important. And I get frustrated when I feel like I’m not doing enough. But the truth is that God doesn’t really care. An even bigger truth is that we CANNOT ever be doing enough. But there is respite in knowing that the one who created us IS enough. There is freedom in knowing that we can’t do it all, and that all we could ever need can be found in Him.

Right now I’m learning that sometimes I have nothing to bring to the table. Sometimes, I’m going to be the least intelligent, least knowledgeable person in the room. But to show up each day and do a good job is an act of worship. To be faithful to the tasks that have been set before me, and show up with a heart that wants to honor those tasks is how I can begin to bridge the disconnect between the sacred and the secular in my life.

One of the liturgies from the compilation Every Moment Holy reads:

“Teach me to shepherd the small duties of this day with great love, tending faithfully those tasks you placed within my care.”

I think this reflects a lot about the heart God has for what he has prepared for us. No task is too small to be under the dominion of the One who cares for the details, an intimate ruler, author, King. He cares about what we do, and He cares even more for how we go about doing it. He is able to demonstrate His glory even especially in our weakness. He stands in the gap for us. He intercedes on our behalf. As the honeymoon phase of a bright and shiny new place begins to fade into mundanity, I pray that this would not dilute the beauty of His work in us here, but amplify it even more. That we would be able to settle into the slow rhythms of His goodness even on the most unexciting of days.

What am I to offer to a God who is the King of everything ever created? And who is He to meet these empty hands of mine with forgiveness and favor?

Anyways, I’ve been going to work and God has certainly been going to work and it’s a couple minutes into November 1st even though this is supposed to be my October post (shh don’t tell Ashley, okay?). Learning a lot about His heart for our work and trying to lean into that!!!!! Until next time,

praise God from whom all blessings flow,

Madelyn

On-the-Go and Overwhelming (-ly good) October

Man oh man, October was BUSY y’all! I had to look back over photos to remind myself when this month actually began because it’s all starting to blur. Just in the last two weeks we went to the state fair, I had a birthday, I went to Harrisonburg for homecoming, Madelyn got engaged, Matt’s band performed, and now it’s halloween. It’s been wild.

This month has contained so many fun places, people, and moments, while also being packed with a lot of time spent pondering big thoughts and reflecting on life. The thought that seems to constantly be on my mind these days is how to convert my passions and skills into an actual job. A tale as old as time. My internship for fellows is definitely helping me sort through that thought as I’m getting to see firsthand what it is like working in a church setting. I’m figuring out how to have the place I work also be the place that I worship at, and discovering how to separate those two things rather than have my work lens replace my ability to freely come to church to worship.

One passion that has been reignited within me over the last month through our classes and volunteer opportunities is my concern for justice in this world. Definitely a BIG thought. One of our classes for fellows is called Just Leadership and it is focused on realizing how central God’s heart for justice is to the bible narrative. Through scripture we see justice is important to God because it is who he is, what he loves, what Jesus came to do, what Jesus calls us to do, and that by seeking justice we can experience the fullness of God (if anyone wants the scripture references to those ideas: Isaiah 30:18, Isaiah 61:8, Luke 4:16-20, Micah 6:8, Isaiah 58:10-12). In our class we have started having discussions about how to be “just leaders” in the world, as well as taken time to hear stories and lament over the injustice our world is facing. This month we also got to volunteer at Shark Tank, which is an event put on by a local non-profit called Mission Triangle that gets investors and community leaders from around Raleigh to come together to hear the business plans of three local non-profits and then think through ways to support and grow those non-profits as well as invest in their mission. All of these nonprofits have Christian roots and it was so inspiring to hear how the Lord has called each of them to this work to glorify God and care for his people. Rather than feeling like the amount of brokenness in the world makes seeking justice a lost cause, our class has reminded me that Jesus will restore all things through himself and God has equal care and dominion over every inch of the earth. Restoring justice to the earth does not fall on man alone, PRAISE GOD. A guest speaker at one of our classes said it well, that rather than trying to “do justice,” let us instead be people who live lives marked by a care and concern for justice. So while I still don’t have the answer of how that will play into any future vocation I pursue, I set that as my aim. 

As I said, this month has been full of big thoughts. In addition to lots of thinking about my passions and future employment, I have also had big thoughts on who I am and how God created me uniquely. We had workshops on both the Myers Briggs and Enneagram (I’ve concluded I’m an ISFJ and enneagram 1 if anyone is dying to know), and we’ve started our family systems class. This time of reflection and processing of the information has been really sweet to understand myself better and see myself through the eyes of my creator.

October has been a slight information and event overload but in the best way! I am still SO GRATEFUL to be here, love my fellow fellows more than they know, and am trying to soak up every second of this program because it is already FLYING BY!! Thanks for reading!

Next-up: November.

-Linsey

Em's October 🎃

Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog!! I decided to stick to the questions I asked myself last month because they kind of just cover all the bases and are good reflection questions in general. So here we go!!

What have you loved this month?

I have loved a lot of things this month… I could probably go on and on and on about all of the loveliness of this month. But of all the things, I have loved my host family! The Youngs have opened up their home to me so well and have made me feel part of the family so quickly. They are warm, kind, funny, and in many ways remind me of my own family. Family dinners on Tuesday nights are always a highlight of the week! I never know what exactly the topic of conversation will be, but I know it will be good and I know I will laugh a lot! I have loved getting to know Tucker, Hannah, and Virginia because they rock and are so cool!!! I’m just loving doing life with all of them <3 Also I’m obsessed with their dogs, Moses and Boaz 🥺🥺 

I have loved my sixth grade small group that I’m leading!! They are the sweetest group of girls! Every Sunday night, the whole youth group comes together for worship and afterwards we all split into our small group time. We get to talk about the Lord and His love for them and we also get to be silly and laugh a lot! It’s been a really sweet time and I’m enjoying getting to know them. 

What are you learning?

This month, I think the Lord has been teaching me about His heart for justice and for the vulnerable and oppressed. This semester, we’re in a class called Just Leadership, and we are learning about social justice through a biblical lens. I am learning that as believers, as recipients of grace, our calling is to serve the poor and seek justice for the oppressed. Caring for the underserved and underrepresented is not optional; it is an intricate part of the life of a believer. Such a good class!! It’s so cool to be able to carry what I’m learning in class into my job as well. At Refugee Hope Partners, I get to work and interact with people from all over the world. I’m learning what it looks like to serve those who come from very different backgrounds than me, and I’m realizing the importance of empowering and encouraging them as they navigate how to live in a foreign country. 

I am also learning so much about myself! This month I took the Myers-Briggs personality test and learned my personality type (any other ENFJs out there?!). It’s neat to learn about how I best relate with others and how I operate internally! We also are taking a couple classes on the Enneagram and I’m in the process of figuring out which Enneagram type I am. I have loved reflecting and processing about myself, how I think, and what truly motivates me. I think it’s important that we know ourselves well because God is reflected in each one of us! Knowing myself better means knowing Him better and I think that’s really cool. 

What is a favorite memory that you are taking into the next month? 

There are lots of good memories this month! 

1. The NC State Fair!!! The fair was so fun, overwhelming, disgusting, and chaotic all at the same time!! Unfortunately, we were hit with a torrential downpour on the night we went.. BUT it made for a great memory because we all were running through the fair, soaking wet, laughing and being silly, and it was the best. Good memory for sure. 

2. All the fellows found this really cool cider/brewery with a really neat outdoor area! One Friday night we all hung out, grabbed some cider, and sat around this cool bonfire. So fun!!!

3. ROUNDTABLE!!! I could write a whole essay on why I love Roundtable. I mean, what’s not to like? We eat together, hang out, and talk about important things. I love love love it!

October was just the loveliest and I am loving it down here in THE Raleigh, North Carolina. Thank you Jesus for this month! 

Peace and Blessings 😙✌️🎃🎃,

Emily Kagey

Caamp Enthusiaist Vol. 2

We back. October has been a wild month full of endless adventures and new experiences. Whether that be going to the state fair, exploring the city of Raleigh, or just daily life. My internship at Refugee Hope Partners (RHP) has started to pickup and I have began to work on a lot of different projects that RHP is planning to have. Our Fellows classes have also began to dig deep as well. A lot of our classes have dealt with understanding who we are as people. This theme of finding out more about myself has been in the back of my mind for most of this month and is something that God has really forced me to think about. We have had several classes that have dealt with personality types like Myers-Briggs tests and Enneagram. It’s been insightful and hard to fully think about how God has created me. I came into Fellows feeling like I had it all figured out, but it has been interesting how God has taught me how much I did not know or had wrong about myself. Compared to the previous month, I feel as if this month has been more reflective of who God has created me to be. While I am still processing a lot of what I have learned, I am curious and excited to see what else God is going to reveal during this season of my life.

In Christ,

IA

For Halloween I have decided to reflect

“Go through, go through the gates;
prepare the way for the people;
build up, build up the highway;
clear it of stones;
lift up a signal over the peoples.
Behold, the Lord has proclaimed
to the end of the earth:
Say to the daughter of Zion,
’Behold, your salvation comes;
behold, his reward is with him,
and his recompense before him.’
And they shall be called the Holy People,
The Redeemed of the Lord;
and you shall be called Sought Out,
A City Not Forsaken.”

— Isaiah 62:10-12

Hello blog. Somehow October has come to a close, and as I sit typing this, I’m listening to this coffee shop’s Halloween playlist (didn’t know these existed) underneath some fake cobwebs that will probably come down tomorrow. Time really flies in the fall and I can’t explain how. But it’s been a good month! My mood is quite entangled with the weather and October has been beautiful, plenty of blue skies and warm days and cool evenings. I spent one especially beautiful afternoon in Chapel Hill which just felt RIGHT!

It’s hard to be reflective of the second month of a program like this. I mean, first month, sure! It’s just everything that’s happened so far. But this month it’s only half of what I’ve gotten to experience here. And how do you parse that out? I’ll try my best. (It’s becoming obvious to me that this blog will hopefully be more than just my arbitrary ramblings but certainly nothing less than that.) This is more of a disclaimer than anything else.

One of the highlights of this past month for me has been our Old Testament class. Most Mondays we get together to talk all things OT (we’ve already made it to 1 Kings!). It’s been such a gift to read and learn about the kindness of God to His chosen people—people who didn’t deserve such a title, who were prone to forget his faithfulness, who chose other things over God over and over again. The people of the Old Testament have served as a heart check for my own life, revealing to me the ways that I tend to forget God’s faithfulness. Since God’s promises to the Israelites rested on his unchanging character, he chose to dwell among them anyway, and he dwells in me anyway. The truth that God dwells in me seems so elementary—as a kid I learned about Jesus living in my heart. It’s also so complex—me, a temple? Me, God’s home? How could that be? Sometimes I can’t believe it, that we are “called Sought Out.”

We read Genesis a couple of weeks ago, and I noticed that after Isaac is born to Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 21, Sarah says, “God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me” (verse 6, NIV). This image is so encouraging to me, that we can witness to the slow and beautiful work of God with laughter, the sharing of joy. We weep with those who weep, yes, and we also rejoice with those who rejoice. In both cases (which so often happen simultaneously) we look forward to the day when there will be no more tears and we’ll rejoice and laugh together forever.

In other news, it has been lovely during this second month of the program to get more involved in the life of Apostles, the church we all attend. I love going to church with the rich community the Fellows community has introduced us to so far. I get to worship alongside my boss, high school girls I know from the student ministry, and all kinds of other new friends. I also love the ways that the structures and habits of the worship service itself—the liturgies that make up the service—remind me of who God is, what he has done, and what the Christian life is like. One example: every week we hear a reading from the gospels, which is read from the middle of the sanctuary, rather than the stage, reminding the congregation that Jesus is the Word that came into the midst of his people, dwelling with and among them. May we all experience this presence so tangibly!

Until November 30 most likely,

Derren

P.S. In this title I note that I’ve decided to reflect today. This is lieu of wearing a costume

We're Not in Kansas Anymore (Vol. II)

Doo-do-do-do sounds the trumpet horn (I hope you heard it)!! Another month is finished and another blog is being requested to be posted. How could I not oblige myself to this request that is slowly becoming my favorite thing to spend time doing? That is right y’all, welcome to Volume II! Hopefully this one is not as long as the last for the sake of you who is reading this, but I guess we will see what happens. Or rather, you will scroll and know immediately if I rambled on forever again or not. My guess is I will probably end this and say, “Dang, I really did it again, didn’t I?”, but it’s been so long since you last read about my life here, so can you really blame me? Anywho… lets just dive in.

In the last blog, if you recall, I stated that I had not yet found a theme that I wanted to carry with me in these writings to y’all. Welp, that statement still rings true as I am currently lying in bed writing this a month later from the last time I had stated it. Though, please cut me some slack. Themes are hard y’all. I just have so much I want to inform you of that it’s hard to fit into one umbrella, let alone one blog post.. Maybe my theme is not having a theme. Talk about an amazingly underused cop-out. Let’s just say I am an “impromptu writer”. ooooo better yet let’s say that I am a “stream of consciousness writer”. Now that sounds fancy. I don’t really know if I am using that phrase correctly for the way I write these, (my guess is no because I think that implies an invitation into the thought process rather than just the thoughts themselves but actually that is kind of what I am doing now in these parentheses. Wow, I should probably just get rid of that parenthesis up there and make that a sentence. You know what? I’m gonna leave it. Thus concludes the longest use of parentheses probably ever), but if anyone ever asks just tell them the latter thing I said. And get ready because people are totally gonna ask about me as a writer. Just you wait.

Daggum, I am already on my way to typing my second novel. I apologize. How about we start talking about my month rather than my thoughts about who I am as a writer? Would that be okay with y’all? Hope you answered yes! If you answered no, maybe go on a walk or something and then come back and see if it is okay. Also, is it an obvious thing that I resonate with a number that falls in the “thinking triad”? Shoutout to the enneagram for helping give me a better understanding in that haha. Alright, enough of this… Here was how my month was:

Getting away from the goofiness I very much enjoy to project while writing these (hopefully not for that long), this month leaned a little more on the somber side than the previous one. I feel as though in my first update, I talked a lot about the fun to be had but not necessarily myself and how I was feeling. While there has been plenty of joyous and fun moments to go around (s/o to all the shenanigans), there has also been a light rain from the cloud of grief that has been present while being here. It wasn’t until I conversed with a friend sometime this month, that I realized this. It has been 16 years since my family moved to Kansas. I spent pretty much my entire collective, cognitive life in that state (May God bless it), more accurately in the city of Wichita. I have rare memories of any time before we moved there as a family. I left for college once, only to live with guys I knew from my high school, and eventually move back home to finish my degree. I have made all sorts of connections and met all sorts of wonderful people but all in a way in my own comfortability. All of that being said, this is the first time in a while that things have been uprooted for me. I mean literally everything in my day-to-day in a way is new (and hecka busy). In response to that, I feel as though unconsciously I have been grieving for the things that I have left back home. I am sure you, the reader, can relate to this in some way. The fact is that I definitely am not in Kansas Anymore (“He said the thing!”). My tree has just been planted, my roots have only just touched the soil. This compared to the tree back home that had roots crossing over other roots deep beneath the surface of the ground, who could react in such a way that wasn’t grief? I am certain that in due time, my tree will grow in multitude and my roots will start to cross over one another as they did once before. However, at this current moment a time is set apart, a transition is being made for the preparation of a sapling to evolve into that of a great oak. Praise the Lord for this. Praise Him for the allowance of fresh roots to be implanted and further entrenched into the soil that is a community and a culture in a new city and for allowing these roots to intertwine with the other great oaks that are being planted and the other great oaks that have been planted among a grand forrest that is this new city. Boom, how’s that for some imagery? Also, how’s that for some encouragement of being placed in something new? I mean I want to be a tree in a grand forrest interwoven with other trees. Well maybe not since we tend to chop those guys down pretty often, but besides the point. A tree in a nationally protected grand forrest. There we go, much better.

Directly going off of that (the imagery, not the forrest banter), I would like to highlight something that we as fellows talked about in one of our classes at the beginning of this month. On our docket this semester, we have several classes: Just Leadership, Old Testament, Spiritual Formation, Family Systems, and a plethora of other single session classes (enneagram, Meyers-briggs, etc). If you wanna know about any of these classes further, just let me know and I would be happy to tell you about or even share the content :-). The class that I would like to highlight is Spiritual Formation. In this class we get a lot of time to reflect and attune our spirit with that of the Lord. Some of you might be thinking, “what does that even mean?”. That’s fair. I’m not gonna tell you though >:). Just kidding, I’ll tell you. Basically in my words, it is a time to practice trying to notice the rhythm that the Lord is playing in our lives. It is a time of quite literally sitting and meditating through our thoughts and trying to hear the Lord guide us in them. It’s helpful to read a little scripture before hand, just to get some spiritual thoughts flowing. Sometimes it may even just look like resting and slowing down though. Some people find it to be a little bizarre but I really dig it. A time to really sort through all the thoughts in my head? How much time are we talking here, because I got a lot of thoughts.

Anyway, in this class we meditated over a certain passage in the Bible. This passage was Mark 10:46-52. The story is of a blind beggar, named Bartimaeus, who was sitting as Jesus passed by. He cried out to him, begging for mercy. As others tried to silence him, Jesus halted and invited the beggar to come forward. Jesus asked for the beggar’s desire to which the beggar asked for to recover his sight. Jesus responds with “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” I wanted to highlight this story because the beggar leaves a huge impression on me. Was it his success, his status, his assets, his comfortability, or his tactfulness that ended up making him well? No. It was purely his faith in the Lord. We obviously don’t know the background of this man in depth, but we can assume being a blind beggar, he probably didn’t have much that he could consistently look upon for hope. Yet, Jesus was enough for him and was the one he cried to for help. I think there is power in the story in the way it challenges us to question ourselves. Among all of our loss, do we still look to Jesus to help and heal us? Are we following from a shallow need or from an utmost dependence? Would our faith be able to make us well if we were put in the shoes of Bartimaeus? This is the stream of consciousness (what a callback) that I experienced while meditating on the word and that I wanted to share.

I believe that I wrote significantly less than the last update that I provided so y’all are probably severely stoked that this one was shorter (and trust me, I could’ve made it much longer). Maybe it wasn’t though. Regardless, I’m hopeful y’all are severely stoked to read the words I write no matter how long. If you made it all the way through, thank you for reading all of that and I hope something resonated with you. If you skimmed through most of it, still thank you for taking the time to gloss over what I transcribed. This is the part where I told myself I would finally say “enough about me”. If y’all have any fun little updates or prayer requests, feel free to email me back as I would love to be praying for y'all!

Not me saying “enough about me” and then saying “wait, actually I didn’t write enough about me”. I literally forgot but If you would like to be praying for me during this month, here are some ways below that you can:

• Prayers that my roots would continue to be entrenched in the soil that is present in Raleigh, NC

• Prayers for my grief of home

• Prayers that I would not get caught up in “what’s lacking” but would instead focus on “what’s thriving”

• Prayers for burn out

• Prayers that my vocal cords are still in good condition

  • this is kind of a joking one, but I am planning on joining the Christmas choir at our church and its just been a while since your boy has sang some music in a group. I will provide updates accordingly.

I think that is just about everything I wanted to talk about in this edition. I apologize, as I probably will again and again for how long these things are but I have a habit to just keep going and going whenever my hands touch a keyboard. I hope that I provided you enough information about my month to quench your thirst. Attached below are some pictures I thought would be fun for people to see of me further ingraining myself in this city.

Picture of my friends Neil, Ian and I recreating an iconic meme. Hopefully you get it.

Picture of me with a big ol heifer of a chicken at the state fair. First time at the state fair and it for sure will not be the last.

Picture of the sunrise that blinds me every morning in my office that I get to work in (please ignore my reflection.)

Picture I captured on the “Hanging Rock State Park” overlook hike. The hike was very interesting considering I didn’t eat lunch or breakfast and it was an 8 mile hike fully uphill/downhill that took me about 5 hours to do. should’ve mentioned this experience in the blog but lets just say I really saw Jesus on that last mile to my car.

That is all for now. Thanks for reading.

May He bless your month of November,

- Alec

Moments with Mal #2

October was full of getting to explore more parts of the city, jamming out to Taylor Swift’s new album, and having lots of high-quality girls’ nights (aka GG time)! My favorite moment this month though was getting to go to the NC State Fair! 

Personally, I’ve never been to the fair. I’ve driven by the Georgia fairgrounds, but I was a part of a family that would go to an amusement park where the rides are permanently there over a 2-week fair. My dad would often explain the structure of even the permanent rides to me since he was a mechanical engineer, so I truly had NO idea what to expect from the fair. Well, now I can say I’ve been to the state fair not once, BUT TWICE!! First with the fellows, and then the next day I went with coworkers during our lunch break! 

Going to the fair during my lunch break with people I work with was never something I expected, but it was one of my favorite moments this month because of how I can see myself as part of the community in my workplace! Starting a new job as a 3-day intern who recently graduated is tough because there is this constant voice in my head telling me to prove to others and myself that I can do the work, and that what I’m doing is worth it; I am a good hire. (I’m learning from our enneagram class that I am a 3-the achiever which may make sense from these internal thoughts.) Going into work, I want to do well, but I also get so energized by being around people that I want to befriend people at work. How do you do that when you have different life experiences, think you are seen as just young, or when you also have work to do? I’ve been learning a lot of answers to these questions and getting over little fears by simply saying yes to the taco Tuesday outings, or helping on a project with new people, or going on a field trip to pick out ice cream for a meeting because it helps people. In the moments I’ve said yes, I’ve gotten to meet new people in my company. One week, I said yes and learned how to design a parking lot for storage units and RVs/ boats which was exciting and helped us gameplan. I’ve also learned how to connect with others like their kids play soccer and I played, so BOOM conversation!

I’ve gone on walks with a coworker to break up sitting in the office and seen how valuable those conversations are in furthering the kingdom. Some of my coworkers are believers, and we’ve had conversations about values and work, as well as, what they’ve learned from the Lord in their many jobs. This has helped my hands be open more to where the Lord may lead me next vocation wise. There’s a lot of pressure right now to figure out what is next with my age, but I’ve received a lot of advice that helps me be grateful and present rather than worrying about the next season. We also don’t need to have our dream job carved in stone by the time we finish Fellows. From every person that has come to teach our classes or speak to us, I’ve seen it’s been an ongoing journey as the Lord has revealed new gifts, passions, and resources to them.  

From working and being a fellow, I’ve been very thankful that the church is at the center of the connections I have. A lot of times when you move somewhere new, you may have a job lined up and that starts as your community foundation, and then you try to find a church. I’m thankful that our foundation is at Apostles. A few people at where I work also go there which makes Sundays fun, but also, others in the office are friends with people who go there, or they grew up in the city and know someone else I’ve met through class. It has just been really energizing to see the different aspects of fellows grow into something bigger than just us in the program.

With only being in the office for 3 days, it may feel hard to feel a part of it all but going to the fair with everyone allowed me to see that I’m growing into my role! That role changes every week, but it is one I can use for this season to share what I’m learning and the Lord’s love. So, what you may be wondering… at the fair, I rode “the sizzler”- this ride was 3 feet off the ground, so I felt confident with it. I went on a hunt for hot dogs, fries, and fried pickles with my sizzler riding friends. Then, we ran into everyone else and got ice cream from the Howling Cow! 10/10 recommend this lunch break next time the fair returns!!

-xoxo, Mal

Caamp Enthusiast Vol. I

Finally! After a whole summer of anticipation, I’ve moved to the City of Oaks. And so far, it’s been everything and more!

Love and selflessness have been a common theme since arriving in Raleigh. Right of the bat, my host family (Shea and Julie Tisdale) and my co-host brother/fellow (Alec Kuthan) greeted me before I even got out of my car. This sense of love and selflessness seems to be at the heart of the Fellows community and has helped reassure my decision to even come to Raleigh.

While it has only been a little more than 3 weeks since we all arrived in Raleigh, it feels like its been seven years. I could write a dissertation on what we have done and how God has shown himself in these past weeks, but instead I wanted to focus on what God has been putting on my heart since becoming a Raleigh Fellow.

If you could see the inner workings of my mind, you would see how squirrel-minded I am. I often have several thoughts and stresses bouncing around in my head, leading me to be very disconnected and not fully present in a given moment. Particularly in the first week of the Fellows program, these thoughts and stresses had to do with what comes after Fellows for me. Quickly, however, I learned that I needed to be more intentional with my time here and feel that God revealed that to me through getting to know the other Fellows, COTA community, and co-workers at Refugee Hope Partners. It has been a blessing to get to know all these wonderful people and grateful that God has shown me benefits of slowing down to enjoy this time.

I came into the Fellows program with a general sense of what I expected to get out of it, but I’ve already been shown how wrong I was in assuming I knew what God had in-store for me. With eight months still to go, I hope to prayerfully walk into every day with open hands, willing to allow God to shape me in whatever ways He has planned.

IMA

A Letter to...Mallory!

September with Neil

I arrived in Raleigh on Monday September 5, and met my host family, Bo and Judy Batchelder. I was pretty nervous about living with a host family before I got here, but I immediately felt very welcome when I met the Batchelders. They have made me feel at home, and I have really enjoyed getting to know them more. The next day I met Ashley and all of the other fellows at the church. This was a little awkward at first because none of us knew each other, but I think we started to gel as a group pretty quickly at the first retreat at Ashley’s lake house. I really enjoyed this retreat, as it was so much fun to start getting to know everyone while also being able to do lake activities. After this retreat we were introduced to a lot of the other people at I the church including the fellows class from last year. I think it is very cool that the entire fellows class from last year is still in Raleigh, and is still very involved with the church. They have definitely made the transition easier for our class by inviting us to activities and being around if we have any questions or need any advice. After the welcome dinner, we all started work. I have been working at Redeeming Development Group, which is a real estate development/ construction company here in Raleigh. I have really enjoyed my first few weeks working at RDG, I have no experience in construction, so I have been doing a lot of cool tasks that are very new to me. I think this nine month internship will be a great opportunity for me to learn many new things, and hopefully to develop professionally. Another aspect of the program that I have found interesting has been the different classes that we all take together. These classes are on many different topics that I think will help us all learn about the lord and about ourselves. The parts of the program that I have found to be the most rewarding so far have been working with neighbor to neighbor and with the student ministry at Apostles. Neighbor to neighbor is a program where we help tutor and mentor local kids who have fallen behind in either their reading or math classes. I think it is an awesome program, and I am excited to work with my student over these next nine months. I have also really enjoyed helping with student ministry at the church, especially the Fall retreat we went on last week. In conclusion, I have really enjoyed my first month in the fellows program, and I am looking forward to the next eight months.

We're Not in Kansas Anymore (Vol. I)

Moving forward, its my personal goal to create a whacky theme for these blogs but I think for now I am going to just let this space be a space to invite you, the reader, into everything that has brought joy to me in my past month here in the great city of Raleigh, NC.

Hello all far and wide, truly what a time it is to be alive. I am gonna pat myself on the back real quick for that nice, unintentional rhyme. It was not too long ago that I decided I was going to take an unorthodox path out of college and do something called the “Fellows Institute”. There were a few (maybe you’re reading this) who honestly were worried about my sudden impulsiveness to leave where I had been for the past 16 years. I will admit it, I was worried as well. It really didn’t seem that bad until I realized it was going to be an 18 hour drive to migrate from home home to this new home. To me, that meant I was going to be missing a lot of things back home. But alas, I wanted to experience something different and felt as though the Lord was creating a path to go down.

Before I go further into my past month, I would just like to take a moment. For those of you who may not know this about me, I love those whom I get to spend life with outside of my family dearly and see them as family. It has been a great joy while I have had a moment away from these people to realize how true that statement is. Wichita boys and girls back home and my YL people near and far from home, if you’re reading this, please know that you guys are constantly on my mind and in my heart and not a second goes by that I don’t miss having y’all closer.

Anyways, let tune back to me now. I really wanted to place a simile here to paint a picture of this past month but honestly I can’t even form the words to describe it (maybe something will come to me later). This program and the experience it offers can vary depending on what city you end up in. In Raleigh, a few things that are at the center of the experience are:

1. The Church that is partnered with the program: “Church of the Apostles”, which has an Anglican denomination.

   • As a fellow, we get to volunteer in church operations in many ways and also get to be a leader for the youth group.

2. An involvement in a local non-profit organization: “Neighbor to Neighbor”, which gives a fellow an opportunity to mentor and form a relationship with youth who are struggling in school.

3. A job to work 3, 8-hr days (Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday), that lines up with the fellows degree.

4. A host family that quite literally has a “whatever is mine, is yours” policy

5. A mentor figure from the church to be able to form a relationship ship with and maybe learn a thing or two from

6. A buddy from a previous year to just be a built-in tour guide and friend in the city

7. A set of teachers to instruct classes and assign homework in order to stimulate the growth of not only spiritual, but emotional, physical, and mental health. They also provide us with further depth of knowledge in what the text of the Bible truly has to offer us.

8. A community that is constantly praying and fighting for you

Daggum, that’s a pretty long list, huh? Maybe this is dramatic but it quite honestly has felt like the busiest time of my entire life being here. Everyday has something that my time promises to invest in, and it has been a strategic battle to be able to have enough time for the things I love to do and for the people I want to reconnect with and check in on. I am unsure, but maybe that’s what being an adult is really about: having things constantly battle for your time. Those who are older, let me know if you nodded your head aggressively at that as you read it. Through all the busyness though, many things have stood out to me over the past month. “Thank goodness, he is finally gonna start talking about his month". I know that’s probably what you are thinking but please stay with me, I just wanted to give people some background.

My month started with me being the first fellow to arrive aside from the one that already lived in Raleigh. I arrived a little early so it was about a whole week until the other 8 fellows I would spend the next 9 months getting to know showed up. When I showed up, I was greeted by my host parents (The Tisdale’s), and got to receive an initial taste of how awesome these two people were. Julie and Shea Tisdale are two people who love each other very well from an outsiders viewpoint. Their marriage is one that is very authentic, and has been a joy to be around. I think a unique thing about each of them is Julie’s contagious laughter and passion for things, and Shea’s desire to enjoy life for what it is. Spending time with them has had great meaning in my first month here. Another thing I got to experience was the sense of community that flows from the church and the program. Upon my first visit to the church I got to meet mostly everyone that has a hand in running the operations of the church itself. This led to questions of who I had already met and then statements of who I should meet. Later on Sunday, that expanded from church staff to churchgoers. In a church body of over 500 (guesstimate, don’t @ me), everyone kind of knows everyone and everyone kind of loves talking to and meeting everyone else who doesn’t already know everyone. As someone who’s naturally shy but loves conversation, this has been a hallelujah moment and another thing that has brought great joy in the month I have been here.

Moving on to my other things that I have found a great joy in this month, once the other fellows arrived we got to embark on an “orientation retreat” at the director’s (Ashley Crutchfield, she’s the GOAT) lake house. I would just like to get it out of the way right off of the bat, that the two jet skis that Ashely has at her house brought an immeasurable amount of joy to my life. Now that’s out of the bag we can move on to talking about those who I get to spend most of my days with. Although there was some awkward beginnings, the retreat we went on was a time where friendships started to develop and blossom which has also been a source of great meaning this past month. My class is full of people who have good humor, are sports lovers (“go tigers”, as they say in Clemson, but more importantly “Dawg if I got a cut on my arm, I would literally bleed purple and gold”, as my friend Neil says about his Baltimore Ravens), are people who always want to be active, who have a generally amazing concept of “fun”, who have amazing fashion, and who have full hearts for the Lord and His kingdom. Along with my class, there are plenty of other fellows from the previous years of this program that remain in Raleigh, and who have been a treasure to get to spend time with. Shoutout specifically to Richie Rojas who is an absolute goon and enabler of enjoying life. All of these people have been an amazing source of joy over the past month.

Being able to learn while I have spent time here has also been a joyous thing. You can tell that each teacher that has signed up to teach us a thing or two about our faith journey has a deep heart behind what they take an hour and some change to talk to us about each week. Its been something that is a love/hate relationship because of all the reading that has to be done before each class but next time we get a chance to catch up, feel free to ask me about what I have been learning!

Pulling a 180 on this ol thang, I have also had an opportunity to be a teacher to some youth while I have been here. I tutor a 5th grade girl on Mondays in math, and have gotten the opportunity to be a leader/teacher/whatever you wanna call it to guys who attend our church youth group and are in 10th, 11th, and 12th grade. Both are things that were new experiences. Let me tell you, straight up, the girl I tutor absolutely despises math. I mean she HATES it, ask anyone who sits next to us. But all that hate for mathematics aside, it has been a cool experience just to be someone who’s in a position to teach and inspire to the youth, especially to the youth who need a little help catching back up to their current grade level. The other new experience I mentioned was youth group which is wild. Being involved with YL for the past however long, it was a foreign concept to me to have a ratio of leaders to kids be under 1:10. Its literally like 1:2 in this church I get the privilege to lead in. Getting to know kids has been a lot harder as well, but I think I am primed up to not be saying that next blog update. More time = more connection, ya feel me? Both these things in their wackiness and newness have been bringers of joy.

Last but not least, it has been a great joy to be employed. My process took a bit longer than the average fellow and so I missed the first two weeks of work on the schedule since I simply did not have a job yet. In those two weeks I got to help the church do a few odd jobs and pull weeds for that guy Richie I mentioned earlier, it was awful and looking back I really wish I would’ve used gloves. But alas, you live and you learn. You ever wonder who coined that term? That guy or gal should really be getting some coin for that. Anyways, yes I have a fancy schmancy engineering job now and actually got to work my first work week this past week in a “no jeans” office. Talk about a rough policy since I literally only own two pants that aren’t jeans. To be completely honest, as this summer was drawing to an end, engineering was not my favorite thing in the world. If I could restart my college career, I would totally go back and just instantly declare I was going to be a physical therapist. Who knows, maybe I go to med school in the future. For now though I am so burnt out of taking notes for things. Anyways, my point is Engineering can be a really weird time. There’s a certain culture that can spew into a workplace where everyone is just doing whatever they think is right and would never listen to anyone else’s opinions on how to do something differently. Talk about frustrating. Its only been one week but so far the company I work for (Kimley-Horn, look em up), has been nothing but awesome. In a relatively large office space, people have been so refreshingly welcoming and made me feel as though I am valued on the team, even though I literally have to be taught everything I am doing. Again, its only been a week, but so far its brought me great joy to be able to have fun in the office and I am looking forward to the months ahead. Can’t wait to see how I feel in the next blog.

I think that’s everything I wanted to say in this edition of “Were Not in Kansas Anymore”. I apologize for literally writing a novel on this casual Friday but I hope I provided enough valuable text to give you an insight into how my past month has been. Moving forward I promise I will try and make these things shorter, I just have a tendency to ramble on about things. I can assure you though in this one sentence, it has been a great joy to be out here in this wonderful city of Raleigh. Attached below are some pictures I thought would be fun for people to see and maybe help support the preceding sentence in proving its point.

So I actually lied, there was one more thing I wanted to talk about before the pictures of me having fun. Also I swear I have had more fun outside of the one weekend at the lake but I just have forgotten to take more pictures. I will be better in the future. Anyways, I bet you people who actually took the time to read this, (I totally understand if you just skimmed, no worries), are wondering how you could pray for me. What a truly magnificent wondering that is! In consideration of your prayers I would just like to ask for these areas to be prayed for:

• Confidence in my ability to mentor to those I have been voluntold to in the area.

• Continued enjoyment in my new job and for natural moments to arise in the workplace to talk about the Lord with others. I already had one that was kind of a nice surprise and would love for more to follow.

• A welcoming to moments of pause and reflection in all this busyness.

• Trust in what He is doing and what He is building.

• Eyes to see all the behind the scenes things He is doing and to see all the joy in his creation.

Me and da class. So much love for deez peeps. Also pretty sunset.

Me and the fellow boyos of my class catching the most exotic fish on the market, that is Neil. Also pretty sunset.

Me and my friend Emily pictured with the most incredible, joy-giving, man-made creation of the current era of time.

That is all for now. Thanks for reading.

May He bless your month of October,

- Alec

New Beginnings with Em! 🥳😊💛

Hello everyone and welcome to my blog!!! Here are some answers to some questions about my FIRST MONTH IN RALEIGH!!!

What have you loved this month?

I have LOVED the community here!! Not going to lie, I was nervous about coming to Raleigh and adjusting to a new place, meeting new people, and starting a new job. But I was welcomed SO WELL into the church body, my host fam, and my own fellows class! On our first Sunday at church, I was greeted so warmly by so many members of the church community. It was like I could feel the love in the room! It makes all the difference to be welcomed into a community where you are loved, supported, and cherished by so many. 

I have LOVED my fellow Fellows!!! Matt, Derren, Alec, Mallory, Neil, Janie, Ian, Madelyn, and Linsey are seriously the BEST! I see these new friends as an answer to the prayer I have been praying all summer! Each one of these people bring unique and exciting qualities to our group and it’s been so much fun to get to know them. I feel honored to be a part of this awesome group! The Lord is so good and kind for putting these sweet people in my life :). 

I have LOVED this new little restaurant that Derren and I found the other day. It’s called Guasacas and basically all they have are arepas. But I’m telling you, they are 10/10 arepas!! Would recommend!

What are you learning?

I am learning to trust that the Lord has GOOD plans for my life! This past summer, I meditated on Psalm 16 a lot. One verse that always stands out to me is verse 6:

  “The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.” 

Graduating from college, saying goodbye to my college friends, and leaving familiar spaces threw me into a somewhat unwanted season of change and transition. It was hard to believe the truth that the Lord goes before me and has a beautiful inheritance for me. Now that I have entered this new season of my life, my “Fellows Season” (😂), I can see that God does have good plans for me! Plans that do not just exist within my college experience. God walks before me and promises me life, beauty, joy, and peace. And He has been showing that to me throughout the month! I am so thankful! 

What is a favorite memory you are taking with you into the next month?

One memory that I cherish is our trip to Lake Gaston the first week. I loved that week so much because the beginning was SO AWKWARD but by the end it was like we’d known each other for years. We all drove down together and I was so nervous about how the week would go. But day by day, I watched as everyone became more comfortable with one another! By the end of the week, we were dancing together in the kitchen, making TikToks, and watching the US Open in the Hot Tub. What a sweet time! God is so good :)

Peace and Blessings 😙✌️,

Emily

Freshman move-in looks different here

And all of a sudden I’m coming home to a place I’ve never been.

I think that maybe I should be overwhelmed but I’ve never felt more content.

The lights are glowing through the windows. It’s bright but it’s not too bright. Even though there’s a chill outside, it's warm in here. I can hear people laughing in the other room, and they’re all my best friends, who I’ve never met before, except somehow I’ve known them all my life. And we’re sitting around a table, yelling and singing and shouting about all of the things we’ve done together and everything we have yet to do. We’re complete strangers and we’re a family. 

And there’s a carpenter from Nazareth that’s built this home for us in Raleigh. He’s prepared the table. He’s prepared our hearts. Each path that He’s led me down until now has felt like I’m walking with a blindfold, but now the blindfold is being pulled away to reveal a party, with the entire Kingdom on the guest list. Everyone at the party is shouting WELCOME HOME – and I’m home. They say we get slices of heaven here on earth, and if that’s true, oh baby. I can’t wait to taste the entire cake. 

I’m greeted by strangers who aren’t strange to me at all. As I learn so many new faces and names I can’t help but think about how we will all get to spend eternity together. 

Even though I’m still figuring out what it is I’m being called to do, but I know exactly where I’m called to be. I may not know where this road is going, but I know the One who paved it. 

22 is a year of a lot of transitions. New job. New city. New friends. And yet, I know that I can trust that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I know that I can lean on this community when I start to forget that. I’m here walking in the footsteps of everyone who’s gone before me, and I can rest in the history that this program and community have written over the last 15(?) years, and one that the Lord’s been writing for a bit longer than that.

Each month I’ll be gracing your computer screen with a collection of pictures to encompass whatever I’ve been feeling. This month, it’s Home. Not home in its simple earthly sense; this is something greater than you and I. This is Home where you’re wrapped in the arms of the Father and the entire world rejoices when someone new walks through the door. Here’s a little glimpse into some moments that have felt like Home.

Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow

Madelyn

Settling-In September

HELLO BLOG WORLD!! I want to start off by letting you into my mind in terms of my thematic vision for my posts here. I’ve decided to structure each month’s content based on an alliteration with each month’s name, ergo Settling-In September for this post. So let’s jump in!

We’re four weeks in and slowly slowly slowly I’m starting to feel settled. We came in, hit the ground running, and I feel like we’ve been running at a steady pace ever since. It has been hard to stop, pause, and let it sink in that this is really my life now. The transition into this new life stage has not quite felt real. Amidst the new faces, new city, new church, new job, new home, it has been the slow progression of creating a routine and comfortability with all the newness as I feel myself slowly settling-in. Leading up to arriving in Raleigh, I had an inner peace that this place was going to be a joyous and safe space for the next year. I think through all the chaos of the last month the consistent source of peace and comfort has come from the nine faithful fellows (and our fearless leader Ashley) that I get to be alongside on this journey. This group is something special. It feels intentional and God-ordained that we were chosen to be here. We went on a five day lake trip our first week here and we joke that the bonding that took place at the lake has made us all co-dependent. The community that fellows blesses you with is the exact reason I was attracted to the program and it has proven to be what feels so special about being here. I think the cliche Hobby Lobby sign that says, “family is what makes a house a home” embodies the sentiment of what I am feeling, even though I shudder at the cheesiness. I have only settled into this new space because of how excited I am to be around this group of people. 

For most things, time is the factor that controls how settled-in one may feel. With each day of work at the church I have a better grasp of my responsibilities and tasks I need to accomplish. Driving to the same places time after time allows me to finally be able to navigate the city without turning on maps. With every week that repeats the same activities a natural routine builds to make this all feel like ordinary life. But the people that are here with me are what transforms Raleigh from being the place I moved to into the place I want to be in! The church community has overwhelmed me with their capacity to love and welcome us in. The former fellows have quickly swooped in to walk alongside us and guide us through every twist and turn this year might throw at us. And Ashley has given us endless advice, laughs, and dance breaks to help us shed our fear, discomfort, and awkwardness as we move into so much unknown. As we close out September the newness of it all is fading just like the summer heat and I am left feeling calm and comforted just as the crisp and familiar fall air glides in. 

Well that’s it for this month! Blog one, CHECK!! Can’t wait to see what October turns into…. Outstanding October? Outrageous? Ordinary? Tune back in next month to see!

-Linsey

Well, here we go!

That phrase sums up the month of September. This month has been filled with a lot of “news”. Not the sad stuff that you see on the TV, but instead new things, ideas, practices, and people. An obvious update is that I started the fellows program. For the purposes of this blog (haha, so professional), I will talk about adjustments, retreats, and all things fellows!

September has, in a lot of ways, been a month of adjustments. In fact, adjustments are a dime a dozen for a guy who has spent his last four years in Raleigh. It’s challenging to be inserted into a new community in a place where I already have one. That’s not to say that it’s been a bad adjustment, but an adjustment nonetheless. I truly love spending my time with the noble people of North Carolina, Virginia, Georgia and Kansas. The fact is, it’s hard to learn how to spend time with all of the people that you love. Even though it’s hard, it’s just life. I am eager to grow further in loving the people that I love well. Working has been an adjustment. I am only working three days a week, and let me say… I don’t know how people that have been working every day each week for years, or even decades, are still functioning. My deepest admiration and respect goes out to the workforce of the world. I also have a host family now, and let me be the first to tell you that they are the best! This is a shout out to the Daniel family. If ya’ll stumble upon this blog please hear that you are all the best, and please believe those words. They have made the transition of moving in with a family that isn’t your own seamless and exciting. I’ve seen God in the way each of them have loved me over the past month.

The past month, we (da fellows) had the opportunity to go on some retreats. To kick things off, we all went to our fearless director Ashley Crutchfield’s lake house. In that first week I learned some things; I equally love and am terrified of jet skis, the wholesome people of Kansas play a game called “Big Carrot”, and there is no better way to be forced into community than doing so in a lake house. Some of that last sentence doesn’t even make sense. For example, they don’t even produce a lot of carrots in Kansas, but maybe the carrots are just bigger there. Who really knows? We also went to lead a youth ministry retreat for Church of the Apostles. I led 6th and 7th grade boys and had the time of my life. I love that age because some of the guys are giants, some of them are small, and they all just do their thing. Whatever that means…This week I found out that it meant origami and magic tricks, which begs the question; why did I pay for college when I can learn cooler things for free? Nevertheless, the retreats were fun and I can’t wait for more! 

Rounding out the highlights of September are tutoring at Neighbor to Neighbor and Roundtable. Getting the opportunity to tutor has been a blessing. I feel like I’m learning a lot too. It’s probably not such a bad thing to have another pass at math, even if it is second grade math. Roundtable has been one of my favorite spaces so far. This month we shared life stories. I believe that when we learn more about people who love God, WE love God more and gain a deeper understanding of the way he loves us. What a gift it is to be able to listen and to be invited into that. Thanks for that God.

With that my update for month one comes to a close. Here we go indeed! I have been blessed through community and through service, and I cannot wait to see how God continues to show up in those spaces. September was a good one.  

Till next time, Matt

boat time fun

middle school dudes being middle school dudes

we all need one in our life, that’s right, a sonic ‘dog

September: Shoes Off!

“Earth’s crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries”

— from "Aurora Leigh", Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Heyyyy blogger nation!!!! I honestly feel so uncomfortable to be writing this post to an unknown audience but I’m glad you’re here reading it anyway. These next few months of blog posts of mine will be jumbles of thoughts in my attempts to make everything that makes sense (or doesn’t) in my head make sense on paper to other people. It’ll be a journey! The fun irony here is that I’m a communications major but I’ll likely have the most trouble communicating everything I want to say. But maybe the labor of love it what makes this all worth it. (I guess we’ll see!)

Over the past couple of years, Jeremiah 29:13-14 has been so meaningful to me:

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from the place from which I carried you into exile.”

My prayer over the past couple years has been that I would seek God and seek Him with all my heart. I’ve found so much beauty and grace in the fact that God promises that he will let us find him, and that he will carry us home. I came to Raleigh hoping and praying that in God’s kindness I would seek him and find him here in a new way, knowing him better and loving him more because of the place he’s brought me.

Seeking and finding God during my first few weeks here has been such a profound reminder that Earth really is crammed with heaven, as EBB notes in the excerpt at the top of this post. God has been with us at Lake Gaston, by the backyard koi pond, on the New Life Camp basketball court, and everywhere else we’ve stepped foot that I wouldn’t think to mention. It feels like one key discipline of the Christian life is slowing down long enough to pay attention to how and where God shows up in our lives (one poet calls stillness “one of the doors into the temple”).

So I guess this month I’ve been trying to take off my shoes, recognizing that God’s presence is with us because of the work of Jesus. I’m grateful that this program so far has pointed me to the bushes afire with God, and we gather in his presence together. We take off our shoes, aware we’re standing on holy ground, proclaiming before God, “Here I am” as Moses did when God called to him in Exodus 3. Here, God  told Moses that he has come down to rescue them, that the cry of his people has reached his ears. Beautiful things have happened and are happening and will happen on holy ground, thank God!

Warmly and gratefully,

Derren

P.S. There’s also a fun symbol here when I imagine taking off my shoes to mean settling in and getting comfortable which IS happening! Raleigh and Apostles and Fellows already feels like home, praise be to God!!