All Aboard The Raleigh Trolley! (Vol. II)

You already know what it be! It’s time for another monthly check-in on how I am doing these 4 different areas of life: social, physical/health, occupation, and spiritual.

Social

Throughout this past month, it’s been kind of up and down, emotionally speaking. We have covered some heavy topics in our classes, and I have  learned a lot about myself through retreats and a couple personality tests (for those who are interested, I am a 5w6 on the Enneagram, and an ISTJ on the Myers-Briggs). I would normally say that my alone time is a space for me to recharge, but the people I have spent time with every week (and weekend) of this month were rejuvenating! I was blessed with the opportunities to celebrate my mama’s 50th birthday with friends and family, play board games with some people from work, visit a bluegrass festival, workout at Burn Boot Camp with some of the fellows, visit Lake Gaston for a retreat on Family Systems, attend the North Carolina state fair,  visit the Raleigh Rescue Mission, spend a weekend at New Life Camp with the youth from the church, and many many other events (this month has been BUSY). In the midst of all this learning and spending of emotional energy, there was a stretch of time where I felt lonely, unseen and unheard for some reason. Not sure how that comes about while spending all this time with so many people, but I came to realize that others in the group struggled with something similar. A way I want to keep fighting this is by providing seeing eyes and listening ears, and when that happens, people tend to reciprocate! It’s important to engage in both seeing and listening for others; it would be challenging to spot a bird in a tree, but once it starts tweeting, it is so much easier to see!

Physical / Health

Still doing alright, but I will say, binging Ted Lasso absolutely tarnished my sleep schedule. I haven’t been to the hospital or emergency room for anything serious (despite playing soccer weekly), which is a blessing. I still aim to get at least 6 hours of sleep every night, even if the times in which I go to bed are a little inconsistent every night. Playing music at church can sometimes feel like a work day, but the songs we sing are always amazing and life-giving; getting to church at 7am on those Sundays is always worth it! 

Occupational

Work has gotten better throughout the month. I have been working on a company-wide project for the past couple of weeks, and it’s nice to see how my work plays a role in the greater picture of what the company is trying to accomplish. My office is also in the Research Triangle Park, which is a good 30 min away with traffic. That drive to and from work seems like an extra hour of work that I don’t get paid for, and I use a decent amount of unnecessarily expensive ($3.39/gal ?? Why tho?)  gas every week. But longer drives seem to be therapeutic for me, and I appreciate those snippets of alone time where I can listen to music and watch people run red lights and stop signs. 

Spiritual

This section could be pages long honestly, but I just want to highlight one area of life in particular. Personally, I have (still) been reading ‘Garden City’ by John Mark Comer. One thing that has truly stuck out to me is the relationship between work and rest. Work is very much a good thing that even God Himself engaged in for the first  6 days of creation. But He also reminds us that we aren’t robots, and we need to rest (in Him) on that 7th day, just like He did. The Sabbath is something I want to continue to take more seriously. It was easier in college due to the consistency of schedule, but I would typically devote from Saturday noon to Sunday noon as a time of rest where no homework or laundry or any work was done. I always found these times to be life-giving, and used these times to take naps, dive into scripture, or engage in conversations with the people in my ‘COVID bubble’. It’s been harder to do that because we are gone some weekends; when I miss a time for Sabbath, I can almost feel the apparent unrest deep in my soul and in my bones, sometimes dreading the week to come after a busy weekend. Even if the weekend was very God-centered and filled with scripture and good word, some form of a Sabbath is still necessary. But I can’t just sit here and complain about how I got bamboozled out of a Sabbath one particular weekend; it takes diligence and planning ahead if I truly want to make the effort to Sabbath at least once in a 7-day period. Sabbath (no work, no laundry, no getting gas, no running errands, etc..) could take place from Thursday evening - Friday evening, or even a Monday morning - Tuesday morning, if I know the weekend will be a busy one. A prayer request for me is that I continue to take the Day of Rest more seriously moving forward.

Alright, time to get off the trolley. Until next time!

BB

** Some Fellows Pro Tips from  the month of October

- Don’t wear flat-bottom shoes to a festival or fair where you will be walking around  for a couple hours. Both your sole and your soul will be in extreme pain.

- In late October / early November, make sure you go for (at least) a 5 mile drive on 540. The trees are so  beautiful and colorful, and it felt like I was either driving on Rainbow Road or Maple Treeway from MarioKart. Watching leaves change colors is likely the most beautiful death you will ever watch.

- Go get involved in an extracurricular activity outside of Fellows when you have the time. The Fellows bubble is amazing, but it has been cool to see and experience the rest of what Raleigh has to offer.

- Listen to random artists, or try listening to music that you wouldn’t normally listen to. You might actually like some of their songs. A ha ha.

Oh. And Happy National Deviled Egg Day (https://www.google.com/search?q=national+deviled+egg+day&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS697US697&oq=national+devil&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0i324j0i512l3j0i22i30l5.6254j0j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8)

Austin's Top 10 - October 2021

*This is not ranked in order, just an overall top ten from this month*

1.       Genogram Weekend

• This month we went on a retreat led by the Jason Young. Jason is an amazingly wise and awesome person. He taught us A LOT in a short amount of time and I am excited to continue to learn more about my family system through doing a genogram with the help of Jason.

2.       The Fair

• The North Carolina State Fair is a beautiful place. Food, friends, rides, lots of interesting people, and GAMES. Over the years I’ve learned that I am very skilled at very odd and typically unimportant things. However, at the fair, I am able to showcase my talents which results in winning giant stuffed animals that are great at first but then surprisingly not too great to find a use for once you get home.

3.       Fall Retreat

• The Church of the Apostles Youth group had our fall retreat at new life camp a couple of weeks ago. I had a blast hanging out with the high school guys, as well as meeting a lot of the other kids over the weekend as well. I was also reminded of my love for square dancing.

4.       Surfaces

• Natalie and I went to a concert (Surfaces) this past weekend and it was arguably the best concert that I’ve ever been to. It started with a couple of very interesting/ strange openers, that we can now look back and laugh about. But once Surfaces came out it was an amazing experience.

5.       Neighbor 2 Neighbor

• Each Monday afternoon the fellows all have the privilege of tutoring an elementary school kid in downtown Raleigh. I have the honor of hanging out with and learning math with Logan. Logan is a shy but extremely sweet kid that will light up a room with his smile if you can get him to let his guard down just a little bit. I’ve loved getting to spend time with Logan and am excited for what the Lord is doing through our relationship.

6.       Board Games

• Living with my host brother Luke has taught me that it is okay to lose to a 5-year-old at board games. I have loved getting to play games with Luke, Matt, and Ashley; even if Luke embarrasses us.

7.       Football

• I love football, and October is a great month for football. One thing that I’ve realized so far during the Fellows Program is that I am not very good at resting. However, I think that I’ve learned that watching football is one thing that will always energize me and that I’ll always enjoy doing.

8.       The Enneagram

• We’ve had some great classes so far during fellows but one that stands out was our class on the Enneagram. I have always been an opponent of the enneagram but I will finally admit that it can be pretty helpful and insightful if used correctly. For those that are curious, I am a 6.

9.       Monday Night Raw

• Every Monday night is guy’s night. The Raleigh Fellas (plus our beloved Sam Bradford) all meet at the Boulton’s house Monday nights to spend quality time together in the sauna, watching football, playing ping-pong, and my new favorite activity – watching Monday Night Raw. If you don’t know what Monday Night Raw is just ask Dylan, he would love to tell you all about it.

10.   Pumpkin Carving

• Another hidden talent of mine is carving pumpkins. This talent most likely comes from my granddad’s (Sanddad) mastery of sand sculpting; follow Sandy Feat on Facebook for evidence. Natalie and I carved a football helmet this year, it wasn’t our best work but I enjoyed spending time with her even if she got annoyed at how focused I can get on carving the perfect pumpkin.

Into the Thick of It!

Ahh, yes another blog post!

First thing I would life to say is how grateful I am for the Lord’s mercy and love. I think that has been the main part of this program that has been so eye opening to me of late. Just something to reiterate from my last post, being away from my girlfriend, family, friends, my school, and my favorite place has been really tough, but the Lord has shown me his love and mercy through the Raleigh Fellows program (even if I want to throw myself a petty party and not believe it) and there’s no doubt about it.

SOME COOL THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED

• The Student ministry retreat: The fellows were fortunate enough to take some of our middle and high school friends on a retreat in Raleigh at New Life Camp. This weekend was an absolute blast! I got to hang out with Tobey (host brother) and Beau (Ashley’s son) while playing putt-putt, basketball, eating donuts off a string, watched them catch some hogs, etc. Those two have such a great friendship that truthfully reminded me of some of my own. The fellows on this trip were also so awesome, everyone gave it their best effort and made sure these middle and high school friends felt right at home with these random 22 and 23 year olds who just joined their church.

• Tutoring at Neighbor to Neighbor: I have the absolute honor and privilege to tutor a second grade girl named Jordan. She is the absolute coolest second grader or maybe even person I know!! We are working on math and she shows me every Monday from 4:30 to 5:30 that she is a wizard at math! She also enjoys coloring, eating snacks, her friends, and the best part of it all: asking about me. Who knew that a second grader could be so intentional and could have an impact on 22 year old me. If that isn’t Jesus working through her, then I don’t know what it is.

• Living with the Young’s: nothing’s changed here. Still the best part of the fellows program.

These past few months have been a wild ride! Although there is many more months to go, I feel like i’ve been here for 150 years. But, like Ashley said on our first retreat:

“you guys are going to hit November and be in the thick of it”

and my friends, here we are.

Peace and Blessings,

Noah Thompson

Resting in Friends

I’ve been reflecting on a lot of things that have happened these past two months since I’ve started Fellows here in Raleigh. So much in fact that I’ve had no idea what to write about for this. After many ideas and many erased paragraphs, it finally hit me. The thing that I’ve enjoyed the most and found rest in my schedule has been my friends.

I’ve been in community with 11 other fellows and our director, Ashley for the past two months. I’ve never had community like this before and it was something that really did draw me to the program. Last month I was a little apprehensive of everyone else. But after spending so much time with them, I realized that all my apprehension was me over thinking things.

Time with everyone looks like eating supper together and being in class together. But it also looks like serving together and going to Halloween parties together and celebrating birthdays with each other. Its been such a joy to see some people go all in on all these things we’ve been doing. Even when I have been feeling drained living the busyness of our schedule, watching my friends be full and thriving in all of these things have allowed me to keep going because I get to see their joy.

On Mondays the guys get together to watch football. I really don’t care about sports. At all. But weirdly enough that is where I find most of my rest is guy night on Monday. It’s a time to just be with each other in a smaller setting and a time where I get to just sit down and not have to worry about my busy schedule. It feels simple but its one of the things I look forward to every week. Guy time has been a very special time week and allows for a lot of vulnerability between the 6 of us.

This past week has been an easy week and allowed for me to have a lot of free time, but I found just as much rest being with my friends as I did alone and doing my own hobbies. Of course I always want to have time to myself, but I definitely have found out that my community recharges me with their joy. Jesus has allowed me to have a community of people that love me well and allow me to be myself and after being with them for the last two months, I couldn’t imagine being without them.

-Dyl

Equilibrium

Let’s give it up for month two baby!!!!! Someone please queue the song “Where’d All the Time Go?”

 by Dr. Dog because sheesh  !!!!!! It’s going so fast!!!!!! 

But for real though, I am in shock that we are already stepping into November. This past month has challenged me to stop and think deeper about all the information we are consuming through classes, retreats, and various conversations throughout the week. 

There was one passage we read that I keep returning to: 

For Equilibrium 

Like the joy of the sea coming home to shore,

May the relief of laughter rinse through your soul.

As the wind loves to call things to dance,

May your gravity be lightened by grace.

Like the dignity of moonlight restoring the earth,

May your thoughts incline with reverence and respect.

As water takes whatever shape it is in,

So free may you be about who you become.

As silence smiles on the other side of what's said,

May your sense of irony bring perspective.

As time remains free of all that it frames,

May your mind stay clear of all it names.

May your prayer of listening deepen enough

to hear in the depths the laughter of God.

This blessing by John O’ Donohue catches my eye because of its reference to laughter and the joy that I find from laughter, but I return to this blessing so frequently because of the way it so beautifully encapsulates all of the things I hope for. The idea that there is freedom to lean in to who I will become, a mindset that brings a new sense of holy reverence, and a prayer for deeper listening are all things that I am running towards. They are also the things that the Lord is slowly but surely providing! Isn’t he so refining??

Another thing that I really resonate with is the name of this blessing: Equilibrium. The simple meaning of equilibrium is when two opposing forces or influences are balanced. Equilibrium is something that I am wishing I had a little bit more of in this month. There are just so many different directions that I am being tugged in and I try to keep all in the balance. I have loved the growth and the excitement that comes with a very full schedule, but I also feel this deep ache of wanting nothing more than for it all to slow down and not let the small moments of the Lord’s presence pass me by in the midst of the busyness. 

The pace of life this month has left me searching for equilibrium, and as the balance constantly shifts I see that the change is building capacity for more that is to come. Jesus steps in and disrupts our lives forever, and I want to continue to make space for Him.

I see Him so clearly in the 11 other people I get to do life together with, in the goodness of my host family, and through the encouragement coming from the people I love who are far away in physical distance but close in heart! 

My hope is that we all take this new November as a chance to see Him surrounding us in our lives and making space for the fullness that is to come!

All the love !!!

Lauren Lamont

My friend, Austin.

Back again with another blog post: same topic, different friend :) To be completely honest I have no idea how long I have been here, but I do know that time is moving too fast. Most of my time is spent with those in the fellows program, and it has been a real treat getting to know these 11 people more deeply, and better intimately. 

Have you ever had that friend, one that you can sit on opposite sides of the room, but the minute something happens (inside joke, something funny, etc.) you two immediately make eye contact and giggle to yourselves. That’s Austin, from the very beginning. Austin was someone I was really excited to get to know when we initially arrived in Raleigh, and he has lived up to that hype. At first observation, I noticed that Austin kept to himself, but when he speaks up, he has such wisdom behind his words and I really like to hear what Austin has to say. 

Something I have really grown to appreciate about Austin is how steady he is as a friend. When I think about this steadfast friend, I am reminded of God’s mercy. Each morning I am granted God’s forgiveness, a consistent and persistent act of care. Like the Father’s mercy, Austin’s friendship is consistent, and something I never want to take for granted each day. In the midst of busy weeks, weekend filled retreats, and heavy moments, I can truly say that Austin is a brother I can lean on and I am so thankful for him!

Some memorable things to note about Austin as I have gotten to know him:

• He is really good at really out-of-pocket things: fair games, Kyle Mooney impressions, and bowling to name a few.

• He knows all the words to Love Story by Taylor Swift, and can sing it with so much passion.

• He is a BIG night owl, and it’s really funny to watch his energy level grow as others tire down.

• Lastly, he is an inspiring friend, that encourages more people than he realizes.

-Mary Ellen

Sitting at the Feet of Jesus

As I’ve continued to grow in my faith one image has always stuck out in my mind. I think back to all of the stories in the bible where I saw men, women, and children sitting at the feet of Jesus. I imagine Jesus, smiling gently, maybe even laughing a little bit, as he explained the joys of the kingdom of heaven. I imagine those around him, hanging on his every word and phrase, anticipating and wondering what he might say next. In truth, the picture that comes to my mind is one of peace.

I’ve thought about what it looks like to sit at the feet of Jesus a lot. If you know me, you know I’m a talker. I LOVE to talk to people. No matter who you are I will try and find some way to engage with you and talk with you. It can literally be about nothing (just ask the other fellows). That’s just part of who I am. Now, because I am such a blabber-mouth, I sometimes do a TERRIBLE job at listening. As I have gotten older, I have realized just how important listening is. The most important way you can ever show someone that you love them is to listen intently to their every word.

This past weekend, the fellows got the amazing opportunity to take a group of students at Church of the Apostles to New Life Camp in Raleigh, North Carolina ( a whopping 4 minutes from my house). I will be honest, I was dreading this weekend. My college was having their homecoming festivities to which ALL of my college friends were going. I so desperately wanted to be there, living life with them, but instead, I got stuck in a cabin with 4 rowdy middle school boys and my favorite country bumpkin fellow, Dylan. I had very low expectations for the weekend and came in feeling drained, tired, and unsuspecting. What I realized was that in those moments is when The Lord does the most work.

I THRIVED this weekend. The four boys Dylan and I got the chance to lead, Paul, Isaac, Jack, and David, were phenomenal. They truly wanted to chase after not only The Lord but each other as well. They also loved us so well. Do you know how sometimes middle school boys don’t want anything to do with you? Well, these boys wanted to hang out with me. We spent hours talking about life, joking about stupid middle school things, and playing endless games of blackjack and soccer. I came in drained, broken, and tired, and left feeling so revived.

During the weekend, our amazing professors/youth leaders, Gebbie and Hayes, taught us about what it looks like to sit at the feet of Jesus. I had heard the stories before, but for the first time, I tried to place myself in the story. As I pictured myself, I realized that I had always imagined the middle schoolboy in me sitting at the feet of Jesus. If you know anything about my story, you know that middle school was NOT a thriving time for me. It was in these thoughts and in these feelings, that I felt Jesus reviving me into something new. 

As I began to listen to these boys talk about their walk with Christ and how they want to not just sit, but kneel at the feet of Jesus, I couldn’t help but smile. Not just a soft smile, but a smile from deep within because I knew the Lord was doing kingdom-building work in the lives of those kids. That kingdom-building work starts when you sit at the feet of Jesus.

Luke Harvin

Fullness

In one of our classes over the last couple weeks, the question, “what’s a word to describe how you’re feeling right now?” was asked. Now the last couple weeks have been really busy from my perspective. 2 weekends of retreats in a row, a night of volunteering at Shark Tank, a late night at the fair, and busyness at work have made rest hard to find. So while answers of tired, overwhelmed, exhausted, and other adjectives that have to do with a lack of rest were thrown around, Hayden described what I was feeling best.

“I just feel full”, she said.

It’s true, my life right now feels very full without much room to add anything else. We’re working 24 hours a week, taking classes, volunteering, building community, and also exploring Raleigh more and more. But the more I think about how full it is, the more appreciative I am and the more aware I am that it’s a fullness directly from the Father. My words can’t do justice to this feeling so I’ll let Ephesians 3:14-19 take it from here.

14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

I’m so thankful for a full schedule and a full life right now. I miss my family and I miss my college friends, but I’m grateful for a God who’s love for me is wider, longer, higher, and deeper than I can grasp. And I’m thankful for this sweet community of Fellows, the Lord’s holy people, that help me see this love of God more and more daily.

And this is my prayer for you, whoever you are that’s reading this. That out of His glorious riches, He may give you strength, that Christ will dwell in your hearts, and that you’ll have power to grasp how wide, long, high, and deep the love of Christ is for you. May you be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

- Jacob McCarthy

The Well of Beer-lahai-roi: The God Who Sees Me

El Roi is one of God’s names in the Hebrew Bible, meaning “the God who sees me”. If you know your Bible well, then you would know that the first mention of this name is by Abram’s slave, Hagar. 

The story of Hagar begins in Genesis 16 when Abram and Sarai are unable to give birth to a child. Sarai becomes weary of her infertility and suggests to Abram that he should sleep with their slave, Hagar, so that they can build a family. Abram agrees with Sarai’s suggestion and eventually impregnates Hagar. Following conception, Sarai mistreats Hagar, so much so, that Hagar runs away. 

Hagar found herself by a spring in the wilderness where she was met by an angel of the Lord. The angel told Hagar that she was to name her child Ishmael because the “Lord had heard her cry of affliction” (v11). Moved by God’s tenderheartedness and nearness, Hagar named God, El Roi, or the God who sees me. She even named the spring where she saw the angel Beer-lahal-roi as a mark of the Lord’s omnipresence. 

So, what’s the connection between the story of Hagar and being a Raleigh Fellow?

It starts back in January when the Lord shut many doors in my life. I’ll list a few: my senior collegiate field hockey season was canceled due to COVID-19, I was rejected from all my graduate schools, I had just walked away from a three-year relationship, and lastly, my housing arrangements fell through in the middle of summer. God where are you? Do you see me? 

Despite the heartache of unexpected life events and the uncomfortability of change, I found myself meeting with the Lord frequently. I became increasingly thirsty and hungry for my eternal water fount, living wellspring, and daily bread. Although, I spent many hours with the Lord, I didn’t quite feel like the Lord had truly seen me. He seemed far, distant, and silent. If the Lord saw me, wouldn’t He present an opportunity for me? I felt like Hagar at the well, hungering for the Lord’s assurance. 

Alas, in the first week of August, I found myself on the phone with Ashley Crutchfield discussing the Raleigh Fellows Program… BAM, three weeks later I arrived in North Carolina as a Raleigh Fellow with a massive smile on my face and glimmer of hope in my heart. The Fellows program was everything that I was looking for and MORE. He heard me. He heard my cries and chose to bless me with the Fellows program. The Fellows program offered many things that I was praying for, such as, graduate level courses, job opportunities/networks, and an immersive community. 

Although the Lord chose to show His grace to me through my acceptance in the Fellows program, I think it’s important to note that His name, El Roi, still would have been just as valid had the Fellows program not come up. Given this understanding, I feel even more privileged to have the opportunity to be a Raleigh Fellow. The privilege of participating in this program is like the reassurance that Hagar received from the angel of the Lord at Beer-lahai-roi. The Lord met me where I was at and provided assurance (Amen). 

This all to say, the past month with the Fellows has been a true testament to El Roi. I have an expansive community and people who want to invest in me, as well as many opportunities to serve people in the community. My heart is full of gratitude for the Lord’s provision and faithfulness. I pray that I continue this mentality in both trials and triumphs in the next nine months. As I continue in the program, I will reflect on my Abba and remind myself that the Lord has me exactly where He wants me to be. 

Kris

September

I can’t believe that a month has passed since I drove with my parents from Frisco, TX to Raleigh, NC. I sometimes can’t believe that I actually showed up (hahahah). 1,047 miles from home is pretty crazy. Coming to Raleigh, fears of basically starting a new life were very real. New job, new friends, new home, new city/state, new EVERYTHING!!! It was (and still kind of is) all very foreign to me, but my time as a Raleigh Fellow has been nothing short of sweet. Lots of laughter happens here!!!! I continuously see how the Lord has shown up for me. If you were to ask me a year ago where I thought I’d be in a year… I would not have said here. 

Being a Raleigh Fellow has been great! The friendships that I have started to develop here are so incredible and real. This is the first time I have experienced a community this deeply rooted in faith and it has been so neat to be apart of. So far, this experience has been exhausting and life giving.

Let me show you some of my favorite September moments!!!

-Hayden

@ Lake Gaston, 35 miles of paradise!!!!!!!

@ the beach!

@ Squirrels night!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@ roundtable!

@ N2N <<<<<33333

Austin's Top 10 - September 2021

*This list is not ranked in order, just an overall top ten from this month*

1. CAPTRUST coffee machines

   • My job this year for Fellows is at CAPTRUST. I am working on their Wealth Planning team where I am currently doing a lot of client data migration. I haven’t always been a huge coffee person but I have relied on the really nice CAPTRUST coffee machines to help me through the day.

2. NC State beating Clemson

   • I grew up going to NC State football games with my family since I was about 2 months old. I have always, and will always love watching State football with my family, and now my girlfriend Natalie as well. If you didn’t already know, State beat Clemson last weekend and it was one of the best games I’ve ever been to. Natalie and I got to storm the field and it was amazing. Go Pack.

3. Day trip to the beach

   • Last Friday our fellows class was cancelled so all of the fellows (minus Noah, plus Natalie) took a day trip to Wrightsville beach. We played games, swam in the ocean, ate food, and just enjoyed relaxing and being with each other.

4. Waiting for Luke in the hospital parking lot

   • Unfortunately, during our orientation retreat at Lake Gaston Luke bruised his ribs riding a jet ski and had to go to the hospital. Fortunately, he is okay and we can all look back fondly on us all waiting for Luke in the parking lot, playing games, and eating Sheetz. If only the security guards didn’t tell us to stop playing cornhole. 

5. Testimonies

   • The first few weeks we have been going through each of the fellows testimonies. We haven’t all gone yet, but getting to listen to the stories of my fellow fellows has been unbelievable. I am so thankful for all of our different stories and the amazing ways that God has moved in my new friends' lives to bring us all here together in Raleigh.

6. Date night

   • My girlfriend Natalie is the best, you should meet her. We’ve started having date nights each Wednesday night to ensure time spent together during my, now, very busy schedule. This past Wednesday night, we had a charcuterie (aka smorgasbord) picnic in Dorthea Dix park. We had a really sweet time together until a bat started circling over us and we left. But maybe even better than the picnic was then watching Survivor together, which in my opinion, may just be the greatest TV show ever created.

7. Host family dinners 

   • I live with the Haakenson family; Marc, Laura, Hunter (away at App State), Matt, Ashley, Luke, and Trixie. I have very much enjoyed getting to know all of them, especially over dinner where we have had some delicious home cooked meals. If you don’t know what a Chicken Packet is then you are missing out.

8. Shaving cream wiffle ball 

   • If you’ve never played shaving cream wiffle ball then know that it’s just as fun, if not more, as it sounds. We played this at the Apostles youth group kickoff event. I am helping lead the senior guys small group this year and I have loved getting to know some of them. I can’t wait for all of the deep and challenging conversations that are to come.

9. Spaghetti Tacos at Round Table

   • Every Thursday night all of the fellows take turns cooking dinner for the group at Ashley's house. This past Thursday, Lauren and I made spaghetti tacos for everyone and they turned out amazing, at least I thought they were good.

10. Jet Skiing at Lake Gaston

    • To round out the top ten I couldn’t leave out how much fun riding a jet ski is. Our entire retreat to Lake Gaston was amazing, but nothing beats a jet ski.

Honorable Mentions: Guy time in the sauna, Boy Scouts of America ft. Coach K, playing my host brother Luke in chess, ‘CAPTRUST’s Got Talent’ Hoop Mixtape

Dishonorable Mentions: Being late to everything (including this blog), coffee stains, waking up early, bugs

-Austin Moore

Peptember Slog Bost!

To start my very first Raleigh Fellows Blog Post ™ I would like to write a poem inspired by my month so far!

R- is for Really awkward at first

A is for Awe wait I love you guys

L is for Lake Gaston (35 miles of paradise) and also Lets go on a walk!

E is Everyone is so nice here

I is for I love squirrels!

G is for Girls (AKA squirrels) night!

H is for Happy and Hale is not that good

In all seriousness, man these three weeks have been a whirlwind. Has it been three weeks? Wait- maybe it has been four. Regardless, it has been crazy. We moved to a new place! We were put in a room with 12 strangers and got told we would be best friends in 9 months! Somehow I was sitting on Ashley’s couch in her living room thinking- oh man what if we are the exception?! Spoiler alert- we WEREN’T the exception. 

My tombstone will read- “A week at Lake Gaston is good for the soul”- Kayley Munkers 1999-Idk yet. But it really was. I think immediately being whisked away on a week-long lake getaway where we were pretty secluded and had no one to talk to except for each other was the best thing we could’ve done. A week of intentional conversations and good ole fashioned lake fun made space for us to ‘dip our toes’ in the water of each other’s lives. By the end of the week, our awkward encounters on our very first day when we looked around the living room at each other were long forgotten. And there is really no one else to thank besides God (and hours of binder talk giving us a reason to bond) for that. Because it is so like him to take something that is seemingly impossible, like becoming best friends with 12 strangers in just a few days, and prove us wrong in every single way. And now when I walk into a crowded room, I hope one of them is there, because they know me the best in this city! 

I could honestly write an entire blog post just on Lake Gaston. I love it there. They don’t call it 35 miles of paradise for nothin’! But the weeks that have followed have been just as swell. I feel the Lord’s peace and blessing over this place so strongly. I know I am supposed to be here. I kind of feel like I’m writing in a diary. This is all over the place, I’ll wrap it up soon.

An insightful question today by a teacher of one of our Fellows classes, David Spickard, prompted me to consider what has been the most surprising part of the Fellows program thus far. I immediately thought of the way Raleigh has so quickly felt like home. And I really can owe all of that to the people who have made it feel that way. SO yeah, thanks to my fellow Fellows for surprising me in the best way. I think Ashley said it best when she said our Fellows class is just really for each other. I’m in your corner, guys, and I am excited to see how we grow and stretch each other over these next 8 months! Thanks for making Raleigh ‘be the city’!

-Kayley!

RALEIGH BE THE CITY !!!

Raleigh really do be the city y’all. While this saying keeps getting thrown around by myself and my fellow Fellows (we never actually call ourselves that but it’s fun to say it for the #blog), it seems more and more true with each day that passes. The Lord is so consistently creative in how He has assured my heart and soul that “the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places” (Psalm 16:6). If you haven’t heard the story of how I ended up in Raleigh yet, ask me! It’s one that makes you take note of the Lord’s humor and how He uses it to let us know Him better. But all in all, my first almost-month?! (WHAT? CRAZY!) in Raleigh has been such a testament to the Lord’s hand in my life and in the lives of those around me. It feels surreal that this thing (aka Fellows haha) has been in the works for so long and now it’s my actual, everyday, ordinary life—my sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life. I think one word that neatly captures my, now, life in Raleigh is full. Not lacking anything; complete. That’s exactly how I would describe the first snippet of this new chapter. Fullness that’s filled to the brim and just spilling over onto everything around it. He is so kind and gracious and wild and good and better than anything I could ever imagine. PRAISE BE!!!! Feeling immensely thankful and insanely hopeful for how he is using this city and the people that fill it for His sake and His kingdom to come. The Lord is always in the business of making all things new. (Shoutout to Anne Young for saying this again and again over the summer/in the months leading up to Fellows & saying it with the authority and confidence that has been given to us by Christ himself!) Praying these next 9 months will be a time marked by abundance. Glory like no other! Feels right to end this lil’ entry with words from God himself:

“Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my body also rests securely. For you will not abandon me to Sheol, you will not allow your faithful one to see decay. You reveal the path of life to me; in your presence is abundant joy; at your right hand are eternal pleasures.”

With joy and in Christ always,

Kassie Starnes

Abundance

I cannot believe that it has only been a few weeks since I have packed up everything I owned (and then some) and made the 8 hr drive from Gordonsville TN to Raleigh NC. I had a lot of time to think on this drive, and so many questions flooded my thoughts: Who will I become? What impact will I make? What will my fellow fellows be like? How will the Lord use me?

Every expectation was shattered as we dove in head first to the work of knowing each other better and laughing a lot through our orientation retreat (WE LOVE YOU LAKE GASTON.) The more time I spend with this group of incredible new friends the more they feel like old ones.

I came into this new season of life hopeful and expectant of what the Lord will do with these 9 months, and in these first few weeks I have seen His spirit at work so clearly! He has brought together this group of people that we may have the chance to grow together in community with one another and lean into the things He is doing already. 

As I am reflecting on this first month of life as a fellow, the word that keeps coming back is abundance. An abundance of laughter, stories, meals spent together, and of course you can’t spell abundance without “dance” so there are also a lot of dance parties happening!!!!!! Most importantly I have seen a glimpse of the “abundant life” that we read about in John 10:10 !! 

“Anyone who goes through me will be cared for- will freely go in and out and find pasture. A thief is only here to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” - John 10:9-10 

I feel so deeply grateful that I get to share in this abundant life with this group of people (including our fearless and wonderful leader Ashbut) and I can already see the Lord’s consistency and refining as we start this new chapter of our lives together. I am so hopeful and so excited about our time and pray that it does not go by too quickly! 

 I pray that we will all go out and experience this abundant life, with limitless joy and a spirit that is wild and free! 

Much love!!!!!!!

Lauren Lamont

All Aboard the Raleigh Trolley! (Vol. 1)

Yo what’s up. Welcome to my series of blog posts for this Fellows year. Growing up, my mama would always make up provide a monthly update on 4 different areas of our lives: social, physical/health, academics/occupation, and spiritual. So I will be continuing this same format in these posts! This is very much a ‘trial-run’ post, so don’t expect greatness right off the bat haha!

Social

• Throughout the past month, I would say I have been emotionally balanced. I would say I am a social introvert, but because I am naturally introverted, my alone time is definitely a space for me to recharge and process my thoughts. Fellows has been moving at lightning pace, and its crazy to think that it has been a month already. There are always a million things going on it seems, but I have found times throughout the weeks for silence, solitude, and rest.

• I am grateful that the other Fellows are friendly and inclusive. And I just love the way the program is designed; its as if I am forced to make these deep, very real, life long friends! I don’t know [coming out of college, and going straight to adulthood] what my current friendships and new friendships would look like without the intentional and disciplined structure that is buried within Fellows.

Physical / Health

• My health and hygiene is a lot better than it was in college, and though I am waking up before 6 every morning, I still get plenty hours of sleep. I try to have all electronics off by 11pm every night just so I am not losing sleep or getting into stuff I shouldn’t be.

• Pertaining to activities, I am playing drums every other week at church, and I am playing soccer in a local adult league every Saturday. On worships days, I am at the church from 7am - 1pm, so those can sometimes feel like a work day. But I love playing and sing music, and its one of the many ways to worship our Lord and Savior! Soccer is probably my greatest passion on this planet, and I am glad to still be playing and watching week in and week out. I also like the comradery of team sports; teammates aren’t always the best, but experiencing ups and downs with a team closely parallels the relationships within the church, as we continually strive to bring heaven to earth.

Occupational

• For those who don’t know, I am currently working as a mechanical engineer for ImagineOptix, a small engineering company in the Research Triangle Park. I studied biomedical engineering, so I am not using too much of what I learned in college, but I am learning quite a bit (experience and connections are always great too!).

• Work can feel mundane sometimes. I’ve spent the last two weeks basically doing the same thing, or working on the same project. The work I am doing is great, but I sometimes question my calling when thinking long-term. I probably won’t work this job for the rest of my life, but for this particular season of life, the Lord has called me to work for this company. It would be amazing if I was given a dream that had the entire layout of my life (where I should be, what I’ll be doing), but our Creator has blessed with creativity and expression to pursue our passions for the rest of our lives. If you have read this far, I would ask that you pray for persistence and diligence in the workplace for this next month.

Spiritual

• Fellows keeps me pretty involved in scripture and prayer , which is amazing! There are times every single day for either scripture or prayer, which is a good habit to get into as we become adults. One thought in particular has stuck out to me throughout this past month. In Mary Young’s class on Spiritual Formation, one of the Fellows said they have to use mental energy, or think about not thinking of anything during times of silence and solitude, which seems counterintuitive haha. I resonate with that a lot; it’s easy to sit there in silence and ‘rest’ physically, but I am not resting in His presence if my mind is still moving at 176mph. It seems I am wired to be forward-thinking, always on-to-the-next, going going going, so another prayer request is that I learn how to truly rest during solitude.

• Personally, I have been reading the book of Job and 'Garden City' by John Mark Comer. If you haven't read Garden City, it is a must! It is about work, calling, and rest, which I briefly discussed earlier in this blog. One of the chapters in Garden City ('Everything is Spiritual) has really helped me get through these past two work weeks. Comer just highlights the importance of work and how all different types of work are designed to glorify God. As an engineer, I am problem solving, while studying and analyzing the depths of His creation. For a painter, someone could be expressing their God-given talent while displaying to the world His creativity through his creation (His people). For someone working with kids, they are serving the parent of the children by donating their time and energy, which is selfless and sacrificial (very Christ-like). Nonetheless, work is what we are called to do, and its what God did for the first 6 'days' of the existence of this world. I am almost done with the book of Job (I think 7 or 8 chapters left), and of the many things I have picked up from the book, it just reminds me of the question 'Why does God seemingly allow suffering to take place?' From Job's perspective, he was apparently righteous, but he was living under the assumption that 'righteous behavior' = a happy, fun, and safe life (which is cap). Job's friends / acquaintances tell him that there is no need to blame God or complain to Him about the suffering that Job is enduring. I find myself somewhere in the middle of this conversation between the two parties. I probably won't fully understand why 'good' and 'bad' people deal with struggles for the entirety of their lives, and I don't think God likes seeing people struggle either. But that seems to be the sacrifice made for His love for us. I think it would help if I finish Job and stop putting it off haha.

Alright, time to get off the trolley. Until next time!

BB

** Some Fellows Pro Tips from the month of September

- When Ashley says she wants to go for walk, you won't be moving at some ordinary walking speed; be sure to pull up in your play clothes.

- Write down your testimony before sharing, and don't start it the night before. Speaking on behalf of a friend, a ha ha.

- Make the effort to call at least one member of your family at least once a week; both parties will appreciate it very much!

- When you are awake / up and running by 7am you feel like you are on top of the world, I promise you!

- Write the blog post on a separate doc. Squarespace is mad buggy, and there is a 99% chance what you type might not save.

My friend Kayley.

I followed God to Raleigh NC. I was hesitant. I was scared. I was dreading change, and I was anxious to meet new people. Flash forward to September 29, 11:21 pm. I am beyond thankful to be here surrounded by 11 people I can confidently call friends. I am constantly in awe my fellow Fellows, and I have learned a lot from them. Kayley is good friend who inspires me a lot. Kayley reminds me of light, constantly drawing people near, much like Jesus. From my first interactions with Kayley, she was a friend I often wanted around, comfort to me in a new place with people I was just getting to know.

The first Sunday we started youth, I watched Kayley walk up to a girl sitting on the sidewalk alone. Kayley had no idea who she was, what she was doing, not even her name. The way Kayley strived to connect with this girl reminded me of Jesus. Jesus strives to connect with our thoughts and our feelings. He does this by taking initiative and responding to what others say with genuine love.

Though I have known Kayley Munkers just a few weeks, many of our conversations feel that way. She feels like a new, old friend. I am excited to see this friendship blossom.

- Mary Ellen

I Ended Up Here

I really did not want to do Raleigh Fellows, or any Fellows program for that matter. I’m here though a month into the program and each day it gets more difficult for me to side with my mindset from just a few months ago leading up to my month here.

So how did I end up here? A question I am still asking. I have some pretty great friends that know and love me well. I was very resistant to the idea of Fellows or any kind of program, but they insisted I at least look into it. I was very reluctant in doing so, but I knew I had to trust my friends. After many conversations and interviews, I decided on Raleigh. 

Two years after graduating from college, I find myself in a program that I didn’t want to do, in a city that I never felt anything for, and a group of people that I’m so stoked to be with. 

Coming to Fellows was never what I wanted, I’ve been out of school two years and I thought I needed something else, but Jesus has provided a really great opportunity for me and I am laughing at myself for not wanting this and thinking that it wasn’t for me. I think I was a little scared of making this big step of moving and living here, but Jesus encourages us to step out onto the water with him, to trust him. 

Thankful for all my new and old friends, that encourage me to take steps toward something better and thankful for Jesus, without you I don’t know what I’d do. So yea I ended up here.

-Dyl

My New Beginning

From a time ago that seemed so far away, I am now living in what I have been thinking, praying, and fundraising for since I committed to doing the Raleigh Fellows Program in late April.

I took on the challenge of the fellows program with a different point of view than most of my fellow fellows (hahahah I love saying that). Coming out of my time at Appalachian State, I wanted to stay in Boone where In was comfortable with my community, town and its people, and atmosphere. However, the Lord had another idea for me, that I didn't know could be so good.

After fundraising and spending my last summer in sweet Boone town, I arrived to Raleigh and it has been a great time so far! I have met some great new friends, started working at Curtis Media Group as a Production Assistant for six different radio stations, and moved into a family’s home that loves me like I am their own. Living with the Young’s has by far been the best part of my experience in Raleigh so far (sorry not sorry). After living a cabin in the woods in Boone, North Carolina, I am so thrilled to be back in a family centered home. Although I loved living with my best friends in college, it is very eye-opening to me to live in a house that shows faith, love, and hospitality through a family dynamic in every way possible. The most beautiful part of this, is that it reminds me of how I have grown up and has given me tastes of what my home was like when I was growing up (shoutout mom and dad). It has reignited the flame of why family is so important for me.

All in all, my word to describe this past month or so has been excitement. In almost everything that happens daily I am excited about, and that is truthfully because it’s a new beginning for me. And if you would have told me this a month ago, there’s no way I would have believed you. Although I miss what is not physically with me, I have to remind myself to love and be committed where I stand, and be really great about loving where I’m physically not.

Here’s to a new beginning and more of these fun posts in the future!

Noah Thompson

The Color of Change

I think it is so powerful that each fellows class gets to experience a season of change in their lives right as Fall begins. We get to change and adapt to our new environment in Raleigh right along side the leaves as they change from bright green, to a soft golden brown. 

For most of my life I was scared of change. I was afraid that change was going to be hard, that it was going to disrupt the very foundations of my life, and that I would somehow end up losing control. Even as a little kid I would resist even the smallest change because it felt uncomfortable to me.

Flash forward to today and I am now three weeks into a program that has become the biggest change in my life. Just a few weeks ago I packed up my little Rav 4 and made the 4 hour drive from Charleston, SC to the great city of Raleigh, NC. Once I got here I got the opportunity to meet my amazing “fellow mates” and amazing director. Yet, even though the people are fantastic there was still this underlying discomfort with all of this change. I mean, I am now living in another families house, with two kids ages 9 and 6, who are filled to the top with joy at ALL hours of the day. Not to mention living in a brand new city, trying to balance the relationships I have versus the relationships I continue to create every single day. Change can be hard.

But if you know me, you know that Fall is my favorite season, and not just because football is back (Go Blue Devils baby). It’s my favorite season because of the leaves and the beauty that happens when they change colors. It helps remind me that change is so freaking beautiful. And yeah, change is hard. It can be tough, uncomfortable, and make you feel anxious from time to time. But it is also so good too.

Look at the gospel. Once we put our faith in Christ we are called to be born again through his love. We are called to leave the sin and the brokenness of the world behind and start living a life that is far more wonderful and beautiful. That does not just happen with the flip of a switch. It takes time, it takes shedding old habits and creating new ones. It takes change. 

Last Friday our fellows class took a trip to Wilmington to hang out at the beach. It was a fun, spontaneous trip, filled with laughter, love and joy. On the car ride there, Kayley (my bestie girl from Chuck Town) asked me the question what my favorite color is. I said that it was that soft, golden brown of the leaves once the seasons change from summer to fall. Why? Because that change reminds me of the life Jesus has called us too and that no matter what happens in our lives, he is the one that is always present and protecting.

Christ wants to disrupt our lives. Let’s let him.

Luke Harvin

New Beginnings

Coming to Raleigh was a HUGE move for me. It took me around 30 minutes to drive from my college house in Cary to North Raleigh. Traffic was terrible, I had to stop for lunch at Chick-Fil-A, and packing my 2004 Ford Explorer took a long 2.5 hours.

In all seriousness, it was a lot for me to decide to do Raleigh Fellows, but man, am I excited for what the Lord has in store for myself and this group these next nine months. Graduating as a Civil Engineer in May from NC State almost came with this pressure to find a good job, get paid good money, and live the rest of my days in a suburb outside of Raleigh growing a family. But one thing you need to know about me, I love getting my hands dirty and don’t thrive in a life where the answer to my biggest questions are, “because it just makes sense.” I desperately long to live a life in the middle of chaos, working with the Lord, and growing into the person He has called me to be. Here is an excerpt from Theodore Roosevelt’s “The Man in the Arena” that expands on this idea a bit more:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

So starting the Fellows program allowed me to do away with the predictable (and intimidating, to me) post-graduate life. I was excited but also nervous because I’ve never been a part of a true Acts 2:42-47 community before. The first week retreat definitely confirmed it as I was thrown in to becoming best friends with people I’ve never met before and expected to get along, talk nicely about each other, and tell everyone about the best parts of ourselves. Although it was hard, I’m thankful for a God who shows up in those moments of vulnerability and who provides peace in times of newness.

The first month has been full of fun conversation at lunches, our fair share of injuries, a spontaneous beach trip, plenty of laughter, the beautiful presence of the Lord, a strong and firm community of believers at the church, and an overall sense of excitement.

One piece of scripture that has been on my mind the last month is Luke 22:39-46. I’ve been wrecked by the conversation on the Mount of Olives between the Father and the Son. Jesus can see Hell right in front of Him and is in so much anguish that He actually sweats blood. A fervent prayer and a deep sorrow for what lie ahead of Him wouldn’t stop Him from saving us. It’s a beautiful and convicting passage to read as I relate to the disciples who fell asleep and who Jesus still died for. I hope and pray that I remember this and stay awake in prayer unlike the disciples who were with Him.

I can’t wait to continue getting to know my fellow Fellows, the church body, and everyone who is a part of the Raleigh Fellows as the year progresses.

Jacob McCarthy