Stretching

November goodness!! I wish I could write down every single thing that made me laugh this month.. But this post would go on for pages and pages!!!!  

There are so many moments of joy that I find myself recalling when I look back on this November. There was just simply so much to celebrate! I’m talking hoedowns at the Micah 6:8 retreat, birthdays, weekends in the snack bar at Windy Gap, denim parties and alllll the laughter in between!!  

Within the celebration there were also moments where leaning in felt very hard, and a few moments that ~made my brain hurt~ ( in a good way) from all the new things we learned !!!

When I tried to think of a word that summed up November I kept coming back to stretching. 

Stretching to me is not a bad thing, but rather a difficult and wonderful thing all in one. God is stretching me and allowing space for me to grow! He is creating space for me to use all of the wonderful tools I’ve been given to see how far and wide and deep His love and His mercy is for me!  One of the most beautiful parts about this stretching is that God stretches us but would never break us. He knows that there is so much work to be done in my life and allows me to see this without giving me too much! 

Morgan Harper Nichols sums up stretching so adequately for me when she says:  
“May each of us soften our hearts to look for moments where coming alive means going beyond what is comfortable, safe, and known. May we allow ourselves to see that when we open up to the possibility of how things could change, we grow.”

yeah!!

Another thing that has been recurring in this November is this simple statement: 

“it’s okay for you to be yourself” 

 I feel relief wash over me when I rest in these words. 

It may feel like a simple statement at first glance, but to me it represents the courage and self- understanding that continues to grow as I release the expectations I pile on myself.  

I’ve found that one of the hardest things to remember when I am lost in these expectations is: 

I am under the Lord’s protective care. He is the lifter of weights. He is the untier of knots. His speciality is in redemption. 

He is the holder of all of my fears and anxieties!

It’s ironic isn’t it? That even in a time where I am consistently learning and meditating on the practices and teachings of God.. I forget to let Him do the heavy lifting! 

I see reminders of his strength and his protective care through one of his greatest gifts: community! 

It’s the Christ in me seeing the Christ in you!

It’s the most beautiful picture! 

I see it in Kris’s humility, Noah’s authenticity, Kayley’s joy, Austin’s strength, Kassie’s gentleness, Brendan’s patience, Hayden’s loyalty, Dylan’s empathy, Mary Ellen’s courageousness, Jacob’s wisdom, Luke’s intentionality, and Ashley’s leadership. 

I see it in the people I love, family and lifelong friendships that are far away physically but so close to me in heart.. They each direct me toward the way of Jesus in so many ways.

My hope is that we can all see the beauty of the Father’s creation through His people in the joy and in the stretching! 

All the love, 

Lauren  

Austin’s Top 10 – November 2021

*This is not ranked in order, just an overall top ten from this month*

1.       Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because it is built around three of the most important things in life: Family, Food, and Football. I loved spending Thanksgiving break with my family this year (especially on Friday as you will read about below). You also may be interested in knowing my favorite Thanksgiving foods, they are honey baked ham and pumpkin pie.

2.       NC State > UNC

Thanksgiving Day was great, but it was far overshadowed by the Friday after. In quite possibly the craziest finish to a football game I’ve ever witnessed, NC State defeated the team from over the hill. And it was amazing. Unfortunately, State didn’t make it to the ACC Championship game this year but at least we’re better than Carolina. Go Pack!

3.       3 Years

On November 22nd Natalie and I celebrated our 3-year anniversary! We had dinner at The Melting Pot, I would like to personally thank whoever first had the idea of melting cheese and dipping different things into it. After dinner we did an escape room, which if you’ve never done an escape room be warned that it is very difficult to do with only two people. We had a lot of fun doing it though, and after a lot of hints as well as going 20 minutes past our time limit, we escaped!

4.       Christmas Parade

The Raleigh Christmas Parade is an all-time classic event. There’s no better way to get into the Christmas Spirit. The parade is full of floats, dance routines, giant balloons, miniature horses, and Christmas music. The best part of all though was the Sanderson High School Marching Band and Color Guard, featuring Matt & Ashley (my host brother & sister).

5.       Fellowsgiving

Before Thanksgiving break all the current and past fellows that are still in Raleigh got together at Ashley’s house for a Friendsgiving lunch. It was awesome to see so many members of the Fellows community spending time together.

6.       Micah 6:8 Retreat

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

Earlier this month the Fellows went on our Micah 6:8 retreat to Camp Oak Hill. We got together with Fellows programs from across the east coast (and Colorado) for a weekend of learning what it means to live out what Micah 6:8 calls us to do; to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God. Although we did not win the ultimate frisbee tournament, we did realize that Raleigh is the best Fellows program in the country.

7.       Mumbo Jumbo

On our Micah 6:8 retreat Dylan and I were given the task to lead a hoedown for the camp. Thus, beginning the journey of Mumbo Jumbo. Dylan and I had a lot of fun during the hoedown, thanks in part to the rest of the Fellows who helped lead the sample circle and reexplain the dances to almost everyone after they were confused from my explanation. I know what you’re thinking, will we ever get to see Mumbo Jumbo in action again? To that all I have to say is, maybe.

8.       Shabbat Dinner

One of the classes that we have been taking this fall is Old Testament. Old Testament is taught by the one and only Aaron Gann. A couple of weeks ago Aaron set up and led us in a traditional Jewish Shabbat dinner. Shabbat (Sabbath) is a time for resting with the Lord and enjoying the company of others. We had a great time singing traditional Shabbat songs, as well as enjoying the traditional Shabbat food.

9.       Jean Party

For one youth group meeting this month instead of having our traditional small group time, we all joined together for a ‘Jean Party’. Everyone was dressed in their best denim attire, and we played some hilarious games which included a Jorts fashion show, as well as an intense lip-sync battle.

10.   Harris Teeter Subs

*No Free Ads* However; Harris Teeter subs are delicious and affordable. On Sundays you can get a full sub for the price of a half sub, you’re welcome.

Comfort, Finally

For as long as I can remember, October has been my favorite month. There’s something about the leaves changing colors, the air becoming a bit more crisp, playoff baseball, basketball beginning, and playing fantasy football that is so fun to me. But with the weather getting warmer (it was 62 today, December 1st) and the leaves changing a bit later, November may have captured my heart.

Beyond the seasonal changes, November as a Raleigh Fellow was incredible. We went on a retreat, celebrated Ashley and Kassie’s birthdays, went on a “hike” at the landfill, had a Shabbat dinner with our Old Testament professor, played a lot of Just Dance, spent some sweet time with our families and loved ones over Thanksgiving, and grew deeper with each other. But what I want to really kick start this blog off with is our retreat. On November 5th, we got the privilege of attending our annual Micah 6:8 retreat.

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

‭‭Micah‬ ‭6:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

On this retreat, we talked about what biblical justice looked like, why justice and mercy cannot be separated, and how to practically live this out as we go back to our respective cities. The biggest thing that stuck out to me was a visual of paths from A to B of both what we think our lives should look like and what they usually are. I’ve always been under the impression that my life should be completely planned out from now until the day I retire (a straight line from A to B). It’s in my ISTJ nature that I desire a plan and I must stick to that plan. My high school friends and I (shout-out the brigs) actually took pride in being spontaneous and it’s an ongoing joke to this day that if you wanted respect from your friends, you would join them in doing something spontaneous. I’ve come to the realization that I have a very low tolerance for spontaneity in my life. While this allows me to be a great planner, organizer, and leader, it has shown me how much I desire control over my life and my circumstances.

I titled this post “Comfort, Finally” because after hearing from John Richmond that a lot of times our lives look like roller coasters from A to B, I felt a sense of peace that I was held, cared for, and protected by the Lord despite what happens in the future. For the first time in what seems like forever, my nerves about my future career, relationship status, and friendships have disappeared. The Lord has been so kind and gracious to me in this process and I feel a release of pressure to perform that has been building up for a long time. While my answer to the question, “so what are you gonna do after the 9 months is up?” hasn’t changed, the tone in my answer has. Instead of a “I don’t know, I guess we will see” that is associated with fear and sadness, it’s changed to a “I don’t know! But I can’t wait to see where the Lord brings me.” that is full of excitement.

John Richmond isn’t the only one who deserves the credit to my feeling of being comforted by the Lord with where I am. I can’t speak highly enough of the rest of the Raleigh Fellows, Ashley, and the committee, host families, mentors, and teachers that want nothing more than to see you grow deeper with Christ. The Fellows have shown me that spontaneity can be such a good and sweet thing, despite the uncomfort it brings me. Like Jesus telling the disciples, “Actually, we’re going to go through Samaria this time.” Ashley has been such a rock to lean on when you feel weary. She is welcoming of doubts, suspicions, and all kinds of fears. She is wise and seems to know exactly what to say. Church members have reached out to get to know us. My host family, the Boulton’s, ask me intentional questions because they desire to know me fully! My mentor, Brian Mann, takes time in his day to provide advice, care, love, and wisdom despite his busy schedule. My professors ask us if we have prayer requests and want to get to know us deeper outside of a lecture. All of these things have brought me to a place where I can say, “Finally, Lord, I have the strength and confidence to approach your throne of grace knowing I am held. Finally, Lord, I have come to your presence to seek your comfort. I’ve let go of my desire to control and I realize I don’t have the capacity to take charge. Here’s my future, Lord. Here I am. Here is my life. Do with it as you please, just give me you.”

Jacob McCarthy

November

November felt like a warm hug. It looked like old friends meeting new friends, orange leaves, a road trip across the state, dog piles, seeing family, Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew, and seeing the Lord’s provision clearly. 

This past month we did lots of neat things, like attending the Micha 6:8 retreat where John Richmond talked to us about justice.

“He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). 

Something he said that stood out to me was, “walking humbly is the prerequisite to seeking justice”. WOW, just let that stir in you a little. To me, that whole retreat was such a good reminder that we are created for God’s glory and to please Him in every way, and that we are all called to seek justice and mercy. 

We did some introspective learning this month as we dug deeper into understanding our enneagram numbers, it has been cool to talk about this in our class where we aren’t afraid to ask each other tough questions and learn ways the Lord has wired us all in a unique way. For me, it has been most helpful learning about the other fellows and how they deal with and process emotions. 

Shabbat dinner was hosted by the lovely Aaron Gann, who made all the food for us to eat and celebrate the sabbath. S/O Aaron! Shabbat Shalom!

Chris and Pauline Byron welcomed us into their home and we learned how to dive into Immanuel Time - which is just a fancy way of saying ‘Being’ with God. This was such a cool thing to experience and hear from the other fellows on how it impacted them. 

Wow, I can’t believe I blinked and November was gone! Those are some new things we did and learned. Thanks for reading! Here are some pictures:

-Hayden

Micah 6:8 retreat (‘:

Sunset hike! This is important

Nick brought his puppy to class <3 thx Nick

Icepack is a funny name XD

Celebrated Kassie’s BDAY!! #23

Parking lot Bojangles

DOG PILEEEE awhhhh

So tender <3333

My friend, Hayden

Hey there BLOGGER NATION. With joy and excitement I come writing this blog post. I can’t believe it's already been a month since I last wrote here. I have spent the past month diving deeper into the lives of each of my fellow friends. It has been really tender to get to know each of them deeper as days pass. As my boy Luke wrote, each one of them reflects the Lord so vibrantly.

Hayden has become a friend that has really surprised me. I say that with an appreciative posture. Coming into the Fellows Program, Hayden wasn’t someone I initially thought I would grow that close with. Praise God that He walked before me and knew just what I needed because HAYDEN BOBO IS INCREDIBLE.

Let me tell you about my friend, Hayden. 

So the fellows have class every Monday and Friday. During those classes we do a lot of listening, feeling, thinking, etc. It can feel like a lot sometimes. Some days I start to feel myself sink in my chair, feeling overwhelmed. I often turn to find wherever Hayden is in those moments. I don't know how, but she always seems to simultaneously look back at me too. With the warmest smile in the world, I am greeted by Hayden and instantly I feel myself growing in my chair again. Hayden makes me feel safe and known.

 As I type this I’m a bit teary because I think it’s a reflection of the kind of friend that Hayden is. She shows up just when you need her and just how you need her to. Whether it is a smile, a painful belly laugh, a serious conversation, Hayden is there. I really don’t really think Hayden knows just how well she is at doing that for our group, so Hayden if you are reading this, I hope it’s affirming. Showing us the heart of Jesus always, and meeting us where we are, I am thankful for my friend Hayden. 

Xoxo, Melon

Serving

This is a fun time of the month for me, another time to write and express to whomever may come across this to share how fortunate I am to be in the position that I currently am in.

First I’d love to write about the serving that I have been able to do, and I don’t mean that in any type of arrogant way, but this program sets you up with all types of ways to serve, and I’d love to share how I’ve been so fortunate to serve the Lord. In the church, you can often find me carrying offering baskets and shuffling the congregation through the communion line. I really wish I could sit here and type something like:

“I’m able to use my God-gifted talents of playing the guitar and voice of an angel to sing worship music every Sunday.”

However, the good Lord had other plans for me and I won’t be coming anywhere close to a microphone unless it’s on my podcast (shameless plug to the Father-Son Podcast found anywhere you podcast) or calling a game. Another cool opportunity that I have written on in this blog series before is tutoring at Neighbor to Neighbor. If there was one thing that may be the most eye opening and fulfilling to me in this program, it is getting to hang out with my favorite elementary school student Jordynn. Jordynn has my heart. Truthfully. And it is a pleasure to teach her math, play games, and hear about her life. If you’re reading this right now I would ask that you take one moment and rejoice her name to the Lord. Thank him for picking me to mentor her and pray for her. Pray for her family. Pray for her wisdom. Praise be to God.

Next, I’d love to touch on how the Raleigh Fellows serve one another. Now my idea of serving in this aspect is going to look a lot different than the two that I just mentioned, but this is just as important to me. Cousin Kris (Kris), KayKay (Kayley), Melon (Mary Ellen), Dunkie (Lauren), Gasssie (Kassie), Haydude (Hayden), Jacor (Jacob), Tuffy (Austin), Lucious (Luke), B (Brendan), and Goomba (Dylan) all have been hand picked by God to be in my life at this very moment and I never knew how much I would have needed it. I can be my true self around these people and they love me for who I am. To me, that is the definition of serving one another. Laughter is very important. And this group does this so well. One instance that I would love to share with you is from camp Oak Hill where we had a retreat with many other fellows groups from all over the region (The Raleigh Fellows is far superior by the way, shoutout AshButt.) On Saturday night, we had a talent show. So each fellows class was sitting with their respective group and supported those who went up on the stage and performed. So just to set the stage all 13 of us were sitting down and someone just performed a banger of a talent, and the crowd goes wild. Tuffy (Austin) was sitting in front of me on the end of the row and Goomba (Dylan) was to my left. Tuffy stands up to give an over the top applause for person on the stage, and right as he stood up, I attempted to take his shirt off. And from there I have never heard someone laugh as hard and as loud as Goomba did. Long story short, Tuffy eventually allowed it to happen and just let the moment sink in, and from here on out that may just be our thing.

This silly story is only a small example of how important these people are to me. And you may think “Noah this is so far from serving one another it’s not even funny.” However, this hits right at home for me. Because I see and hear about people all the time who struggle that don’t have people like this to serve them in this type of way. And I wish for everyone to have a sense of family and community like I do. If that doesn’t show the loving and caring heart that our Lord and Savior has for us, then I don’t know what does. What a gift it is to be able to laugh and serve one another through love and comfortability.

❤️🤟🏼 ŃØÄH

Humility

Y’all ever feel like you know something front to back, like the palm of your own hand, only to find out you have so much more to learn? Yeah, I think I’ve felt this way every single day since I’ve been in Raleigh haha. Talk about being HUMBLED!

In November, we had the outstanding TREAT of attending, and serving as the welcome wagon (shoutout to Austin’s hospitality skills), for the Micah 6:8 retreat! After one of our sessions, we circled up with fellows from other programs to debrief our keynote speaker’s (John Richmond) first talk of the weekend. One of the girls in my group was talking about what she heard him say and ended with this statement, “As a fellow, I feel like I get humbled every. single. day.” As soon as she said that, this overwhelming feeling came over me. In that moment, I was like “Lord, that’s IT. That’s what this whole thing is about.”

What I’m trying to say is I think I came into this program with A LOT of unrealistic and unfair expectations. Expectations for myself, for others, and for the program itself. For the longest time now, I’ve looked at these 9 months as THE THING that would prove just how much I thought I knew. And really the exact opposite has been true. So far, I’ve seen how much I have to learn.

It’s so gracious and kind of the Lord to plop me back down when I come out of the gates running. And let me tell you, I get my booty plopped down more than I’d like to admit but enough to keep me present in the here and now.

This past Sunday at church, my host mom (Robin Bolash if you’re reading this, I think the world of you!) talked about how walking with Jesus isn’t as formulaic as we make it out to be. And trying to put life with the Lord into this neat, step by step plan actually causes us to opt out of partnership with the Holy Spirit and teachable discipleship. Once again, I sat there in awe of how creative the Lord is in grabbing my attention! So that’s where I’m at! To me, doing fellows seemed like the perfect “formula” or the “secret sauce” to following Jesus. And really, that’s just not true. Yes, it’s a helpful tool and a wonderful program designed to be just that! But really, God just wants our fullest attention on Him, His Son, and His Spirit. Thank you Lord for turning my seemingly empty hands over into worship of You. What seems like lack has turned into praise! That’s what this is really about.

With joy and in Christ always,

Kassie Starnes

Reflecting Christ

Hello all!! Wow, what a whirlwind of a month. November was filled with so much deep-rooted joy. I think part of that joy comes from finally being able to truly know the eleven other amazing people I am living life with. When you first join a fellows program, you are thrown into a mosh pit of people with different personalities, different interests, and different ways of living. Yet, even though you are different from them, there is one incredible thing that you have in common, the love of The Lord. I truly see The Lord in each one of them. So, to help you get to know them, this blog post is dedicated to showing y’all how each one of the fellows truly exemplifies Jesus.

Kayley

My girl Kayley is the perfect example of joy. Throughout the gospels we see Jesus explaining to his disciples the importance of having faith like a child. I think Kayley lives out that faith every single day. She is kind, intentional, brave, trusting, and so heartwarming. Before she even meets you, she’s already decided that she will love you. Think about how selfless and hard that is? She truly loves without borders.

Noah

Noah is a perfect example of strength. One of the things I love so much about Noah is that when he enters a room you automatically feel safe. You know that he has your back, no matter the situation that you are in. I think about all my times sitting with the Lord, and how in those moments I don’t feel conflicted or afraid, but safe and secure. I think it’s honestly amazing how we read in the Bible about Noah, a trusted servant of God, who made a refuge for all of the animals. And then I look at our Noah, and I can see how he has become a refuge for all of us.

Dylan

When I think of Dylan one word comes to mind, compassion. He is by far one of the most compassionate, loving people that I have ever had the privilege of meeting. Dylan will laugh with you, cry with you, get angry with you, and most of all, understand you. I think of Jesus, crying over his friend Lazarus, understanding the immense weight of pain Mary and Martha were feeling. That sounds just like Dylan.

Kris

Intentionality. Without a doubt, Kris is the most intentional person I have ever met in my entire life. The moment I met her, I immediately felt seen and known. I felt like I was the woman at the well and she was Jesus. She has the incredible ability to see and understand the circumstances that you are in and love you know matter what. Whenever you are around her, you just drift to her because she makes you feel like you belong.

Jacob

Jacob is the perfect definition of a “fisher of men”. In the gospels we see Jesus call Peter and Andrew, and tell them to drop their nets and he will make them fishers of men. Jacob is an amazing YoungLife leader who goes out of his way to bring kids closer to the gospel. I’ve gotten the amazing opportunity to hear Jacob talk about each one of the boys that he mentored and you can see the impact he had on shepherding those guys towards Christ.

Lauren

There’s a song by United Pursuit called “Lay it All Down” and in the song it talks about laying all of your grief, sorrow, and pain at the feet of Jesus. Lauren is the perfect person who will walk up there with you. She will hold your hand, guide you to Jesus, and hold you as Christ takes your burdens from you. Everything she does, helps point directly to the savior.

Austin

When I picture my conversations with Jesus I immediately picture these deep meaningful discussions filled with belly shaking laughter. That’s exactly what you get with Austin. He has the incredible ability to talk about the deepest parts of yourself and then throw in a joke that has you crying on the floor. That depth is incredible and reminds me so much of the man that Christ is. I can picture Jesus, sitting around a campfire, with arms out wide, saying “welcome”, just as Austin does.

Hayden

When I think of Jesus’s heart, I think of one that is full of love, depth, and warmth. Christ has the ability to see anyone in need and welcomes them into a life of fulfillment with him. Hayden is that same way. When I think of all the times I’ve been sad or upset during my time in Raleigh, the person that always seems to call is Hayden. She never fails to show up and reach out. She doesn’t just reach out, she genuinely cares about you and wants you to lean on her. Her heart is so full of kindness and warmth, just like our kings’. 

Kassie

I think Kassie is one of the most authentic, thoughtful individuals I have ever met. You know those people that are so filled with the holy spirit that you can feel it whenever they talk or pray? That’s Kassie. Whenever she prays I feel as though the whole kingdom of heaven is in the room. Kassie also does this thing where whenever she talks about the greatness of God she cries. I think it's a beautiful representation of the impact The Lord has on her life.

Brendan

Brendan is the definition of a connector. He is so personable and truly connects people of all different walks of life. Think about how Jesus chose his 12 disciples. All of them were so different that no one would have ever thought they could come together to worship The Lord effectively. While it was still sometimes a struggle for them to connect and come together, they were able to become united because of one thing: Jesus. Brendan does the exact same thing. He is a connector that brings people together and immediately points them to Christ.

Mary Ellen

I have never quite met someone like Mary Ellen. She is kind, courageous, bold, brave, and humble. She has this unique ability to see the whole playing field and stand up for what she believes in. Most of all though, I see her as reliable. I think of Jesus’s mother Mary, how she trusted in the Lord and how he gave her the incredible task of raising his son. Mary was strong and so full of faith, just like Mary Ellen. She reminds me like a reed in the wind, unshaken by the movement happening all around her.

A Song for us all: Together by for King & Country

Luke Harvin

Boctober Plog Oost

I know there’s not going to be a way to fudge the numbers on this so yes I will come forward and admit it is a few days into November and I am just now posting this. Also Hayden and I are currently racing to see who does this last. (Update- it was me.) Let’s dive into another poem shall we?

O- is for Oh shoot Jacob and I almost caught Ashley’ house on fire

C is for Can we please go to the Food Lion at Lake Gaston???

T is for The big NUT statue in downtown Raleigh some refer to as Nutzilla

O is for Oh so now we are the kind of friends that work out together?

B is for Bald caps on All-hallows Eve and bOnus Jonas 

E is for Everyone shows up late to class sometimes! We’re only human

R is for Really good blue grass music

Somehow this month is one of the longest in the year yet it went by like a blur. I think that is a good thing? You tell me. I’m gonna try to sum it up for ya though. Outside of all the supa fun activities we did (Giant swings @ the fair, come on somebody!), this month had a lot of depth and a lot of layers to it. Here is what I mean- Fellows is like drinking out of a fire hydrant, except the fire hydrant is full of like the best stuff you can get. Like, there is just so much information and goodness thrown at you constantly. You just try to be a sponge and soak it all up. Something I am soaking up right now is waking up to things that matter. 

October felt like waking up. Waking up to other people around me. Waking up to myself. Waking up to God. Like somehow I have been a little bit asleep my whole life and I am just starting to notice. One way this is unfolding is through Neighbor to Neighbor, which has easily become one of my favorite parts of Fellows. This after school mentoring program in downtown Raleigh helps provide a poorer area of the city with tutoring for kids of all ages. I love my time here. It has forced me to see things I can’t un-see. There are kids here struggling to read, add and subtract, and just learn. Education is a gift and these kids deserve it. Getting to invest in them for an hour or two every week, whether that be tutoring or fitting 6 people into a jump rope swing, fills me up. There have been kids like this in every city I have lived in my whole life, and just because I didn’t see them, doesn’t mean they weren’t there.

Another thing I am waking up to is just the people in the city as a whole. Our Just Leadership class taught by David Spickard (David if you ever see this, you’re wonderful and ily) has been one of the most eye opening and thought provoking things I have ever encountered. We are covering all kinds of topics from biblical justice to racial tensions to cultural competency- you name it! One really incredible thing we did is take a field trip over to the Raleigh Rescue Mission, a non-profit right downtown. They are actively serving the homeless population of Raleigh. Not just handing them a $5 bill or a granola bar, and not just a bed to sleep in for a night either. They are teaching and equipping these people to have competency and skills to have a well-paying job and setting them up to be successful when they exit their doors. Why? Because they believe everyone has inherent worth in Christ Jesus. THAT’S POWERFUL. And yes, these folks are “experiencing homelessness”, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. There are so many people who find themselves in extreme poverty in Raleigh and now I am alot more inclined to ponder them!

Last thing I will mention is I just feel like I am waking up a bit to myself. Through an enneagram class and a Myers-Briggs class, I have had multiple hours poured into figuring out why I am the way that I am. Finally I have language to describe my motivations, thinking process, desires, problem-solving, basically what makes me- ME! I have felt so encouraged by this and can already see the fruit of understanding myself and others better in the group. Our Genogram (Family Systems Theory) weekend really was also eye-opening. Turns out your family has a big part to do with how you are who you are. I felt shocked that it applied to me. I feel, now, excited and nervous to dive deeper into asking my family important questions about themselves and their families, which will in turn help me learn a lot about myself. So yeah, in a way, I am meeting a lot of parts of myself that were always there but I am just now bringing to the light!

I can’t really go back to sleep after all I'm awake to now! But I don’t really wanna. Thank you October for showing me the truth about the issues and struggles that I and the people around me are facing. As painful as it is to see my neighbors who have been glossed over, it feels good to know a little bit more than I did before, and it feels encouraging to know there are ways I can help. Noticing this isn’t as light-hearted as I intended but that’s okay! Until next month Raleigh Fellows BL00G!

-Kayley

October God Sightings

Wow, I can’t believe October flew by just like that. It was full of ups and downs and a lot of growth. This past week at roundtable everyone went around the table to share their God sightings of the past week, I loved the idea of briefly reflecting on where we had seen the Lord at work. So I am gonna do a few God sightings for October!!

-       Time spent with my host fam this past month has been such a blessing!! I love the Miedema fam! Their hospitality to me and the other fellows has been so sweet and a great example of Christ’s love for us.

-       Fall Camp!! We got to go to New Life Camp here in Raleigh with COTA Students. At camp, we got to lead and build stronger relationships with our small group kiddos.  #Mr.Worldwideeeeee

-       Jason Young’s genogram weekend @ Lake Gaston (35 miles of paradise) was super cool and I am excited to dig deeper and see the ways the Lord will grow and challenge me through this assignment. 

-       We celebrated Kris’s birthday!!! It was a joy to watch everyone love on her and so fun to have her twin come up and surprise her! Their love is so special!!

-       October was huge for building deeper relationships. During this month, I shared my testimony for the first time so being vulnerable with my new friends is something that has been proven to be a gift. 

A verse that has been sticking out to me a lot lately has been James 1:19 – My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

I’ve noticed that the more I am living in a James 1:19 way, quick to listen, slow to speak & become angry, the clearer God sightings in my life are.

- Hayden   

The Gratitude Garden of our Hearts

I never quite understood my sister’s admiration for flowers until a national pandemic swept the globe. After arriving back in the States from a semester abroad in Uganda, my sister and I found ourselves quarantining in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania. As I’m sure many experienced, the shutdown period made it immensely challenging to find reasons to be grateful. 

Given this dilemma, Ashley had an idea. She decided to make a gratitude garden. Every day we picked one thing that we were grateful for, wrote it down on a paper-cut-out flower, and then taped it on the wall. Our kitchen wall became full of lively and vibrant flowers of every shape, size, and color. It was beautiful. 

Over time I began to reflect and introspect on the notion of gratitude. It didn’t take long to recognize that the absence of experiences with friends, lack of places to go, and zero opportunities to see people made for a very challenging time brainstorming things to be grateful for. I felt like I was writing down the same things or, when I found something to be grateful for, it took a while to find it. And then, I began to ask myself questions about gratitude, flower gardens, and the relationship between them. 

You see, each written gratitude – be it small or large– was a constituent to a larger narrative. Though a flower be small, it contributed into creating a garden, lively and unmistakably vibrant. Thus, it’s fair to say that a flower marked with a singular gratitude didn’t just die or become forgotten once we taped it on the wall, but rather served as a long-lasting fingerprint of God’s goodness in the larger picture. 

As I reflected on my time creating the gratitude garden, I not only realized that being grateful fell into a moral obligation, but I also became increasingly interested in the difference between something that made me happy verses something that made me grateful. In the former and the latter, I recognized that gratitude has more to it than sheer duty and happiness. It was too reductionistic and superficial to say that gratitude was professing things that made me happy. I tried to find the good in my days – which was based off experiential happiness - and titled it as gratitude. The presumption behind this method of thinking presupposes that happiness, or gratitude, is a feeling. 

So, I found myself stuck here: What is the beginning framework and foundation point for a grateful heart if it’s not entirely based on the feeling of happiness?

I’ve chewed on this question since the pandemic. More recently, since being a Raleigh Fellow, I’ve began to think about the theological implications in the true essence of gratitude. I am reminded of the suffering servant, Job, when he shaved the hair from his head, tore his rob off and exclaimed to God, “‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised’. In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing “(v. 1:20-22). Jobs response to trails ought to inform us about our perspective on gratitude. Instead of cursing God for everything he lost, Job tore off his garment, fell to the ground, and worshipped God, professing that his greatest gift was Christ. 

I suggest that the vignette of Job ought to be our starting place in gratitude. Within twenty verses, we see Job lose his livestock, servants, and family, yet still gives glory to God. Talk about a faithful servant. Job’s loss suggests the everything we have in our life is a loan. That’s right – a loan. We must treat our lives like a loan, where we acknowledge that our resources, skills, competences, and entire beings are a gift from God. Gratitude, then, is not a mere experience of happiness, but a heart posture of humility which then turns into a profession of gratefulness for the Lord’s workmanship. It’s more than just benefiting from what God gives but delighting in the beauty and greatness of God’s character through His created and creation. Thankfully, there are many things in our physical world that reflect His nature, to which we must recognize and give thanks to God. Therefore, I think it’s fair to say that happiness does play a role in gratefulness, but maybe it’s not necessarily the beginning point. I think the beginning point is like Job’s heart posture when he knelt before the Lord. It’s ultimately professing that the truest and greatest gift in our life is in the salvific work of Christ. 

So, in the flower garden metaphor, our admiration for the gift of salvation is like fertile soil, the substance in which enables flowers to grow. We need nutrient-rich soil to grow strong, healthy, and life-giving flowers. Flowers, then, are the product of a grateful heart. So, brothers and sisters, I encourage you to join me by embracing a heart posture like Job. My hope is that my heart (and your heart as well) is like a flower garden, physically marking the things that the Lord has gifted to us, and in response, we give God the glory for the provision of such gifts. And, if we so dare choose, make the conscious effort to welcome visitors in that space and share our flowers. Allow your flowers to produce an aroma so vigorous that it welcomes others in your garden, so much so, that they would be drawn to Christ. 

A closing prayer:

Father, we pray that your Son’s atoning work would be our greatest gift. We humbly pray that we would begin to cultivate soil that fosters healthy living conditions for flowers that would bloom in such a way that gives true radiance and glory to your workmanship. May we learn to be grateful with little and grateful with plenty. Amen. 

Kris

October recs!!

One of the questions I love the most is, “What do you recommend?”. Answers usually vary anywhere from tv show & song recs to profound and wise life advice. Just a fun question that lets you take note of the good stuff around ya. If someone were to ask me what I would recommend for the month of October here’s what I would say:

-bald caps as the foundation for your Halloween costume HA

-the “grassy” spot in front of Chuy’s (if ya know, YOU KNOW)

- starting your week with clean sheets

-the Tilt-a-whirl ride at the state fair

-Jello for dessert at roundtable

-always having the Hokas either on your feet or in your car (never know when you might have a chance for a good, solo stroll)

-sending pictures of your Halloween costume(s) to your host family

-the pumpkin cream cheese muffins from Whole Foods (Robin keeps buying them and I’m OBSESSED)

-Taylor Swift (literally any era)

-party hats

-concerts with your host sis-ILY RISA!!!

- 7th grade girls; they’re SO funny and silly and teach me more about the Lord every time I’m with them

-snapping a pic of the fall leaves when the light hits ‘em just right

-playing the whisper challenge game with the funniest people you know (shoutout to my right hand squirrels, this is the nickname me and my fellow ladies have dubbed ourselves as #cityofOaks)

-Generous Justice by Timothy Keller

-sitting at Sola (coffee shop here in Raleigh!) on the perfect CRISP! fall afternoon

-eating lunch outside whenever you can

-going for a walk with your prayer partner

-stay and play after mentoring at Neighbor to Neighbor

-friends who share their Gushers™ with you, even when you never finish the reading for Old Testament

-bonding over celebs with your boss (especially when she used to teach Zumba in the early 2000s and both of you have a soft spot for Pitbull)

I could go on and on, but I’m gonna stop here. October felt really weird at times, and the fact that I’m living in Raleigh for the next year hit me kinda hard this past month. Safe to say that the “honeymoon” phase of Fellows has ended. But I thought that naming the good in the midst of the weird and hard would be grounding and encouraging for my soul. If you made it this far, I hope reading this pushes you to do the same!

“Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—how good God is. Blessed are you who run to him.” Psalm 34:8 MSG

With joy and in Christ always,

Kassie Starnes

THE TILT-A-WHIRL!!! Best thing the NC state fair has to offer.

Lauren and I at the ~grassy~ spot.

Bald cap squirrels HAHA

Me and my middle school FRIENDS!!!

Playing jump rope @ Neighbor to Neighbor!

All Aboard The Raleigh Trolley! (Vol. II)

You already know what it be! It’s time for another monthly check-in on how I am doing these 4 different areas of life: social, physical/health, occupation, and spiritual.

Social

Throughout this past month, it’s been kind of up and down, emotionally speaking. We have covered some heavy topics in our classes, and I have  learned a lot about myself through retreats and a couple personality tests (for those who are interested, I am a 5w6 on the Enneagram, and an ISTJ on the Myers-Briggs). I would normally say that my alone time is a space for me to recharge, but the people I have spent time with every week (and weekend) of this month were rejuvenating! I was blessed with the opportunities to celebrate my mama’s 50th birthday with friends and family, play board games with some people from work, visit a bluegrass festival, workout at Burn Boot Camp with some of the fellows, visit Lake Gaston for a retreat on Family Systems, attend the North Carolina state fair,  visit the Raleigh Rescue Mission, spend a weekend at New Life Camp with the youth from the church, and many many other events (this month has been BUSY). In the midst of all this learning and spending of emotional energy, there was a stretch of time where I felt lonely, unseen and unheard for some reason. Not sure how that comes about while spending all this time with so many people, but I came to realize that others in the group struggled with something similar. A way I want to keep fighting this is by providing seeing eyes and listening ears, and when that happens, people tend to reciprocate! It’s important to engage in both seeing and listening for others; it would be challenging to spot a bird in a tree, but once it starts tweeting, it is so much easier to see!

Physical / Health

Still doing alright, but I will say, binging Ted Lasso absolutely tarnished my sleep schedule. I haven’t been to the hospital or emergency room for anything serious (despite playing soccer weekly), which is a blessing. I still aim to get at least 6 hours of sleep every night, even if the times in which I go to bed are a little inconsistent every night. Playing music at church can sometimes feel like a work day, but the songs we sing are always amazing and life-giving; getting to church at 7am on those Sundays is always worth it! 

Occupational

Work has gotten better throughout the month. I have been working on a company-wide project for the past couple of weeks, and it’s nice to see how my work plays a role in the greater picture of what the company is trying to accomplish. My office is also in the Research Triangle Park, which is a good 30 min away with traffic. That drive to and from work seems like an extra hour of work that I don’t get paid for, and I use a decent amount of unnecessarily expensive ($3.39/gal ?? Why tho?)  gas every week. But longer drives seem to be therapeutic for me, and I appreciate those snippets of alone time where I can listen to music and watch people run red lights and stop signs. 

Spiritual

This section could be pages long honestly, but I just want to highlight one area of life in particular. Personally, I have (still) been reading ‘Garden City’ by John Mark Comer. One thing that has truly stuck out to me is the relationship between work and rest. Work is very much a good thing that even God Himself engaged in for the first  6 days of creation. But He also reminds us that we aren’t robots, and we need to rest (in Him) on that 7th day, just like He did. The Sabbath is something I want to continue to take more seriously. It was easier in college due to the consistency of schedule, but I would typically devote from Saturday noon to Sunday noon as a time of rest where no homework or laundry or any work was done. I always found these times to be life-giving, and used these times to take naps, dive into scripture, or engage in conversations with the people in my ‘COVID bubble’. It’s been harder to do that because we are gone some weekends; when I miss a time for Sabbath, I can almost feel the apparent unrest deep in my soul and in my bones, sometimes dreading the week to come after a busy weekend. Even if the weekend was very God-centered and filled with scripture and good word, some form of a Sabbath is still necessary. But I can’t just sit here and complain about how I got bamboozled out of a Sabbath one particular weekend; it takes diligence and planning ahead if I truly want to make the effort to Sabbath at least once in a 7-day period. Sabbath (no work, no laundry, no getting gas, no running errands, etc..) could take place from Thursday evening - Friday evening, or even a Monday morning - Tuesday morning, if I know the weekend will be a busy one. A prayer request for me is that I continue to take the Day of Rest more seriously moving forward.

Alright, time to get off the trolley. Until next time!

BB

** Some Fellows Pro Tips from  the month of October

- Don’t wear flat-bottom shoes to a festival or fair where you will be walking around  for a couple hours. Both your sole and your soul will be in extreme pain.

- In late October / early November, make sure you go for (at least) a 5 mile drive on 540. The trees are so  beautiful and colorful, and it felt like I was either driving on Rainbow Road or Maple Treeway from MarioKart. Watching leaves change colors is likely the most beautiful death you will ever watch.

- Go get involved in an extracurricular activity outside of Fellows when you have the time. The Fellows bubble is amazing, but it has been cool to see and experience the rest of what Raleigh has to offer.

- Listen to random artists, or try listening to music that you wouldn’t normally listen to. You might actually like some of their songs. A ha ha.

Oh. And Happy National Deviled Egg Day (https://www.google.com/search?q=national+deviled+egg+day&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS697US697&oq=national+devil&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0i324j0i512l3j0i22i30l5.6254j0j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8)

Austin's Top 10 - October 2021

*This is not ranked in order, just an overall top ten from this month*

1.       Genogram Weekend

• This month we went on a retreat led by the Jason Young. Jason is an amazingly wise and awesome person. He taught us A LOT in a short amount of time and I am excited to continue to learn more about my family system through doing a genogram with the help of Jason.

2.       The Fair

• The North Carolina State Fair is a beautiful place. Food, friends, rides, lots of interesting people, and GAMES. Over the years I’ve learned that I am very skilled at very odd and typically unimportant things. However, at the fair, I am able to showcase my talents which results in winning giant stuffed animals that are great at first but then surprisingly not too great to find a use for once you get home.

3.       Fall Retreat

• The Church of the Apostles Youth group had our fall retreat at new life camp a couple of weeks ago. I had a blast hanging out with the high school guys, as well as meeting a lot of the other kids over the weekend as well. I was also reminded of my love for square dancing.

4.       Surfaces

• Natalie and I went to a concert (Surfaces) this past weekend and it was arguably the best concert that I’ve ever been to. It started with a couple of very interesting/ strange openers, that we can now look back and laugh about. But once Surfaces came out it was an amazing experience.

5.       Neighbor 2 Neighbor

• Each Monday afternoon the fellows all have the privilege of tutoring an elementary school kid in downtown Raleigh. I have the honor of hanging out with and learning math with Logan. Logan is a shy but extremely sweet kid that will light up a room with his smile if you can get him to let his guard down just a little bit. I’ve loved getting to spend time with Logan and am excited for what the Lord is doing through our relationship.

6.       Board Games

• Living with my host brother Luke has taught me that it is okay to lose to a 5-year-old at board games. I have loved getting to play games with Luke, Matt, and Ashley; even if Luke embarrasses us.

7.       Football

• I love football, and October is a great month for football. One thing that I’ve realized so far during the Fellows Program is that I am not very good at resting. However, I think that I’ve learned that watching football is one thing that will always energize me and that I’ll always enjoy doing.

8.       The Enneagram

• We’ve had some great classes so far during fellows but one that stands out was our class on the Enneagram. I have always been an opponent of the enneagram but I will finally admit that it can be pretty helpful and insightful if used correctly. For those that are curious, I am a 6.

9.       Monday Night Raw

• Every Monday night is guy’s night. The Raleigh Fellas (plus our beloved Sam Bradford) all meet at the Boulton’s house Monday nights to spend quality time together in the sauna, watching football, playing ping-pong, and my new favorite activity – watching Monday Night Raw. If you don’t know what Monday Night Raw is just ask Dylan, he would love to tell you all about it.

10.   Pumpkin Carving

• Another hidden talent of mine is carving pumpkins. This talent most likely comes from my granddad’s (Sanddad) mastery of sand sculpting; follow Sandy Feat on Facebook for evidence. Natalie and I carved a football helmet this year, it wasn’t our best work but I enjoyed spending time with her even if she got annoyed at how focused I can get on carving the perfect pumpkin.

Into the Thick of It!

Ahh, yes another blog post!

First thing I would life to say is how grateful I am for the Lord’s mercy and love. I think that has been the main part of this program that has been so eye opening to me of late. Just something to reiterate from my last post, being away from my girlfriend, family, friends, my school, and my favorite place has been really tough, but the Lord has shown me his love and mercy through the Raleigh Fellows program (even if I want to throw myself a petty party and not believe it) and there’s no doubt about it.

SOME COOL THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED

• The Student ministry retreat: The fellows were fortunate enough to take some of our middle and high school friends on a retreat in Raleigh at New Life Camp. This weekend was an absolute blast! I got to hang out with Tobey (host brother) and Beau (Ashley’s son) while playing putt-putt, basketball, eating donuts off a string, watched them catch some hogs, etc. Those two have such a great friendship that truthfully reminded me of some of my own. The fellows on this trip were also so awesome, everyone gave it their best effort and made sure these middle and high school friends felt right at home with these random 22 and 23 year olds who just joined their church.

• Tutoring at Neighbor to Neighbor: I have the absolute honor and privilege to tutor a second grade girl named Jordan. She is the absolute coolest second grader or maybe even person I know!! We are working on math and she shows me every Monday from 4:30 to 5:30 that she is a wizard at math! She also enjoys coloring, eating snacks, her friends, and the best part of it all: asking about me. Who knew that a second grader could be so intentional and could have an impact on 22 year old me. If that isn’t Jesus working through her, then I don’t know what it is.

• Living with the Young’s: nothing’s changed here. Still the best part of the fellows program.

These past few months have been a wild ride! Although there is many more months to go, I feel like i’ve been here for 150 years. But, like Ashley said on our first retreat:

“you guys are going to hit November and be in the thick of it”

and my friends, here we are.

Peace and Blessings,

Noah Thompson

Resting in Friends

I’ve been reflecting on a lot of things that have happened these past two months since I’ve started Fellows here in Raleigh. So much in fact that I’ve had no idea what to write about for this. After many ideas and many erased paragraphs, it finally hit me. The thing that I’ve enjoyed the most and found rest in my schedule has been my friends.

I’ve been in community with 11 other fellows and our director, Ashley for the past two months. I’ve never had community like this before and it was something that really did draw me to the program. Last month I was a little apprehensive of everyone else. But after spending so much time with them, I realized that all my apprehension was me over thinking things.

Time with everyone looks like eating supper together and being in class together. But it also looks like serving together and going to Halloween parties together and celebrating birthdays with each other. Its been such a joy to see some people go all in on all these things we’ve been doing. Even when I have been feeling drained living the busyness of our schedule, watching my friends be full and thriving in all of these things have allowed me to keep going because I get to see their joy.

On Mondays the guys get together to watch football. I really don’t care about sports. At all. But weirdly enough that is where I find most of my rest is guy night on Monday. It’s a time to just be with each other in a smaller setting and a time where I get to just sit down and not have to worry about my busy schedule. It feels simple but its one of the things I look forward to every week. Guy time has been a very special time week and allows for a lot of vulnerability between the 6 of us.

This past week has been an easy week and allowed for me to have a lot of free time, but I found just as much rest being with my friends as I did alone and doing my own hobbies. Of course I always want to have time to myself, but I definitely have found out that my community recharges me with their joy. Jesus has allowed me to have a community of people that love me well and allow me to be myself and after being with them for the last two months, I couldn’t imagine being without them.

-Dyl

Equilibrium

Let’s give it up for month two baby!!!!! Someone please queue the song “Where’d All the Time Go?”

 by Dr. Dog because sheesh  !!!!!! It’s going so fast!!!!!! 

But for real though, I am in shock that we are already stepping into November. This past month has challenged me to stop and think deeper about all the information we are consuming through classes, retreats, and various conversations throughout the week. 

There was one passage we read that I keep returning to: 

For Equilibrium 

Like the joy of the sea coming home to shore,

May the relief of laughter rinse through your soul.

As the wind loves to call things to dance,

May your gravity be lightened by grace.

Like the dignity of moonlight restoring the earth,

May your thoughts incline with reverence and respect.

As water takes whatever shape it is in,

So free may you be about who you become.

As silence smiles on the other side of what's said,

May your sense of irony bring perspective.

As time remains free of all that it frames,

May your mind stay clear of all it names.

May your prayer of listening deepen enough

to hear in the depths the laughter of God.

This blessing by John O’ Donohue catches my eye because of its reference to laughter and the joy that I find from laughter, but I return to this blessing so frequently because of the way it so beautifully encapsulates all of the things I hope for. The idea that there is freedom to lean in to who I will become, a mindset that brings a new sense of holy reverence, and a prayer for deeper listening are all things that I am running towards. They are also the things that the Lord is slowly but surely providing! Isn’t he so refining??

Another thing that I really resonate with is the name of this blessing: Equilibrium. The simple meaning of equilibrium is when two opposing forces or influences are balanced. Equilibrium is something that I am wishing I had a little bit more of in this month. There are just so many different directions that I am being tugged in and I try to keep all in the balance. I have loved the growth and the excitement that comes with a very full schedule, but I also feel this deep ache of wanting nothing more than for it all to slow down and not let the small moments of the Lord’s presence pass me by in the midst of the busyness. 

The pace of life this month has left me searching for equilibrium, and as the balance constantly shifts I see that the change is building capacity for more that is to come. Jesus steps in and disrupts our lives forever, and I want to continue to make space for Him.

I see Him so clearly in the 11 other people I get to do life together with, in the goodness of my host family, and through the encouragement coming from the people I love who are far away in physical distance but close in heart! 

My hope is that we all take this new November as a chance to see Him surrounding us in our lives and making space for the fullness that is to come!

All the love !!!

Lauren Lamont

My friend, Austin.

Back again with another blog post: same topic, different friend :) To be completely honest I have no idea how long I have been here, but I do know that time is moving too fast. Most of my time is spent with those in the fellows program, and it has been a real treat getting to know these 11 people more deeply, and better intimately. 

Have you ever had that friend, one that you can sit on opposite sides of the room, but the minute something happens (inside joke, something funny, etc.) you two immediately make eye contact and giggle to yourselves. That’s Austin, from the very beginning. Austin was someone I was really excited to get to know when we initially arrived in Raleigh, and he has lived up to that hype. At first observation, I noticed that Austin kept to himself, but when he speaks up, he has such wisdom behind his words and I really like to hear what Austin has to say. 

Something I have really grown to appreciate about Austin is how steady he is as a friend. When I think about this steadfast friend, I am reminded of God’s mercy. Each morning I am granted God’s forgiveness, a consistent and persistent act of care. Like the Father’s mercy, Austin’s friendship is consistent, and something I never want to take for granted each day. In the midst of busy weeks, weekend filled retreats, and heavy moments, I can truly say that Austin is a brother I can lean on and I am so thankful for him!

Some memorable things to note about Austin as I have gotten to know him:

• He is really good at really out-of-pocket things: fair games, Kyle Mooney impressions, and bowling to name a few.

• He knows all the words to Love Story by Taylor Swift, and can sing it with so much passion.

• He is a BIG night owl, and it’s really funny to watch his energy level grow as others tire down.

• Lastly, he is an inspiring friend, that encourages more people than he realizes.

-Mary Ellen

Sitting at the Feet of Jesus

As I’ve continued to grow in my faith one image has always stuck out in my mind. I think back to all of the stories in the bible where I saw men, women, and children sitting at the feet of Jesus. I imagine Jesus, smiling gently, maybe even laughing a little bit, as he explained the joys of the kingdom of heaven. I imagine those around him, hanging on his every word and phrase, anticipating and wondering what he might say next. In truth, the picture that comes to my mind is one of peace.

I’ve thought about what it looks like to sit at the feet of Jesus a lot. If you know me, you know I’m a talker. I LOVE to talk to people. No matter who you are I will try and find some way to engage with you and talk with you. It can literally be about nothing (just ask the other fellows). That’s just part of who I am. Now, because I am such a blabber-mouth, I sometimes do a TERRIBLE job at listening. As I have gotten older, I have realized just how important listening is. The most important way you can ever show someone that you love them is to listen intently to their every word.

This past weekend, the fellows got the amazing opportunity to take a group of students at Church of the Apostles to New Life Camp in Raleigh, North Carolina ( a whopping 4 minutes from my house). I will be honest, I was dreading this weekend. My college was having their homecoming festivities to which ALL of my college friends were going. I so desperately wanted to be there, living life with them, but instead, I got stuck in a cabin with 4 rowdy middle school boys and my favorite country bumpkin fellow, Dylan. I had very low expectations for the weekend and came in feeling drained, tired, and unsuspecting. What I realized was that in those moments is when The Lord does the most work.

I THRIVED this weekend. The four boys Dylan and I got the chance to lead, Paul, Isaac, Jack, and David, were phenomenal. They truly wanted to chase after not only The Lord but each other as well. They also loved us so well. Do you know how sometimes middle school boys don’t want anything to do with you? Well, these boys wanted to hang out with me. We spent hours talking about life, joking about stupid middle school things, and playing endless games of blackjack and soccer. I came in drained, broken, and tired, and left feeling so revived.

During the weekend, our amazing professors/youth leaders, Gebbie and Hayes, taught us about what it looks like to sit at the feet of Jesus. I had heard the stories before, but for the first time, I tried to place myself in the story. As I pictured myself, I realized that I had always imagined the middle schoolboy in me sitting at the feet of Jesus. If you know anything about my story, you know that middle school was NOT a thriving time for me. It was in these thoughts and in these feelings, that I felt Jesus reviving me into something new. 

As I began to listen to these boys talk about their walk with Christ and how they want to not just sit, but kneel at the feet of Jesus, I couldn’t help but smile. Not just a soft smile, but a smile from deep within because I knew the Lord was doing kingdom-building work in the lives of those kids. That kingdom-building work starts when you sit at the feet of Jesus.

Luke Harvin

Fullness

In one of our classes over the last couple weeks, the question, “what’s a word to describe how you’re feeling right now?” was asked. Now the last couple weeks have been really busy from my perspective. 2 weekends of retreats in a row, a night of volunteering at Shark Tank, a late night at the fair, and busyness at work have made rest hard to find. So while answers of tired, overwhelmed, exhausted, and other adjectives that have to do with a lack of rest were thrown around, Hayden described what I was feeling best.

“I just feel full”, she said.

It’s true, my life right now feels very full without much room to add anything else. We’re working 24 hours a week, taking classes, volunteering, building community, and also exploring Raleigh more and more. But the more I think about how full it is, the more appreciative I am and the more aware I am that it’s a fullness directly from the Father. My words can’t do justice to this feeling so I’ll let Ephesians 3:14-19 take it from here.

14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

I’m so thankful for a full schedule and a full life right now. I miss my family and I miss my college friends, but I’m grateful for a God who’s love for me is wider, longer, higher, and deeper than I can grasp. And I’m thankful for this sweet community of Fellows, the Lord’s holy people, that help me see this love of God more and more daily.

And this is my prayer for you, whoever you are that’s reading this. That out of His glorious riches, He may give you strength, that Christ will dwell in your hearts, and that you’ll have power to grasp how wide, long, high, and deep the love of Christ is for you. May you be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

- Jacob McCarthy