December

December for me is always a time of rest and reflection. It’s always nice to look at the life I’ve lived for the year and see where I’ve been along the way and reflect on it. This always helps me figure out the things that I hope for the next year and things that I can work and improve on. December consisted of a few weeks of Fellows obligations and then a few weeks of Christmas break. Both parts of the month made for a great way to end the year and focus on the things to come for the rest of the Fellows year.

For the last round table, we played Secret Santa. This was a really special moment, just seeing how much time and effort everyone took to get their person a gift. All of the gifts were so well thought out and I think it really was encouraging to see that everyone in our group really cares for each other and that we take the time to be close and intentional with each other.

The Christmas break was really wonderful as well. I had a lot of free time, which was nice considering the busy schedule that I feel like I’ve had the past few months. I was about to get a lot of rest while I went back home for two weeks. Christmas with my family also made for a very relaxing time.

As I said earlier, even though I did have a nice break to be a little lazy, it gave me a lot of time to really think about the last few months in Fellows. Between classes, round table, and retreats, I’ve learned a lot and this break gave me the opportunity to sort through a lot of those things and start to think about the future after Fellows and what that looks like.

-Dyl

Austin’s Top 10 - December 2021

*This is not ranked in order, just an overall top ten from this month*

1. Secret Santa

Shoutout to Kassie for being the best Secret Santa of all time. I had absolutely no idea who had me for secret santa, and she consistently surprised me with perfectly timed and meaningful gifts. Also, Dylan didn’t know that I had him so that was successful as well.

2. Christmas

Christmas is the best holiday. There is nothing better than wearing pajamas all day, spending time with family, eating good food, giving/ receiving gifts, and most importantly celebrating the birth of Christ.

3. Christmas Caroling

One of my favorite things from this month was an improvised stop in the middle of the Fellows Christmas party in which we stopped at my parents house and caroled for my mom.

4. Hickory

My mom is from the great city of Hickory, NC. My family went to visit my grandfather, aunt, uncle, and cousins over Christmas break and it was a very sweet time spent with family that we don’t get to see often.

5. Eulogy

One of our Fellows classes this year is spiritual formation with the great Mary Young. One assignment was to write a eulogy written from the perspective of a loved one. It was an extremely challenging and vulnerable assignment that I was very nervous about sharing. Having now shared it though I really appreciate the space that we get in that class to dream with the Lord about our future.

6. Fantasy Football

I am officially the champion of my college friends' Fantasy Football League. Dame Time.

7. Natalie’s Birthday

Natalie turned 23! I loved getting to celebrate her. The weather even though it’s winter was really nice so we spent most of the day outside of the art museum, having a picnic and also spending time with her friends. Then we had a great dinner with her family and played a lot of scattergories. 

8. NCAA Football ‘14

Arguably the best video game ever created, thanks to #10 I spent a lot of time playing this over our Christmas break.

9. Spider-Man: No Way Home

My sister and I went to see the new Spider-Man and it was amazing. I will not spoil it in case you haven’t seen it yet, but you should go see it ASAP if you haven’t yet.

10. COVID

This is on the list not because it was a good thing, but because it took up a majority of the month of December. I was exposed to COVID so I began to quarantine, after a week I thought I was in the clear however I then tested positive for COVID on the 10th day from my exposure. Making my quarantine extend for a very long time :) 

Present Over Perfect

What’s up peeps! Geez, 2022 has already started with a whirlwind. Just in case you were wondering, yes Covid is still real and it is not a fun-filled time. I could have never imagined that I would be spending the start of this wonderful new year closed up in a corner of my room in my host family's house. At first, that might seem sad, and while yes it is unfortunate, I would love to point out the positive side of quarantine while being a fellow. 

First, my host family has been incredible. If you haven’t had the privilege to meet the wonderful Frank and Jessica Bartolini you totally should. They have been the absolute definition of living with a servant's heart. Since the moment I tested positive they both have gone above and beyond to make me feel so comfortable and loved. They’ve brought me food, showered me with jokes, and have consistently checked up on me throughout this whole experience. They also have these two amazing kids, Gabby and Evan, who serenade me with violin, piano, and a karaoke machine every afternoon. Who wouldn’t want their own private concert??

One of the best things about this semester so far has been the ability to take a glimpse of the life I’m living. Both our vocational retreat (with my man Bruce) and quarantine have taught me to take a step back and look at my life with a new lens. I’ve learned that I honestly don’t thrive in the fast-paced lifestyle where relationships get glossed over. I’m just not wired that way. I’ve learned that the true beauty of life comes when you stop drinking life from a firehose and start drinking from a glass of water. It comes when you start being present, over perfect. 

True life comes when you realize you shouldn’t flub who you are. You shouldn’t push down the ugliness just to save face. You should be real with those who love you because guess what? They love you. True life comes when you value relationships and memories over a To-do list. It comes when you don’t live a rushed life and miss God’s beauty in it all. 

So, in the craziness of life, choose to be present over perfect. 

-Luke Harvin

My Imposter

Although the wintery magic of what December would usually look and feel like in Raleigh was absent this year, the presence of God during the month was just as piercing as one of those cool winter nights. I look back on December and almost laugh to myself about how perfect God’s timing is. A mixture of anticipating the coming of Jesus, Ashley’s beautifully decorated house, efling our secret santas, and great reading choices throughout the month of December made for a perfect way to start off 2022.

The biggest thing I learned this month through the readings of The Way of the Heart by Henri Nouwen and Abba’s Child by Brennan Manning was, how Brennan Manning says, “The imposter must be called out of hiding, accepted, and embraced. He is an integral part of my total self.” For the longest time, I’ve noticed the part of myself that isn’t really my true self and usually deal with this “false-self” or “imposter” by either ignoring it, trying to get rid of it, or believing that it’s my true-self. But after reading and reflecting on the imposter, I’ve come to an appreciation of that part of me that acknowledges my brokenness and tears down the idea that I’m anywhere close to perfect. I think it brings me closer to Jesus because it’s a confession of my need for help.

As for looking ahead to 2022, I’m excited and anticipating the confrontation with my false-self. It’s my belief that recognizing that the true-self and false-self are both very real parts of our earthly bodies will bring us closer to Jesus. We can’t be our true-selves all the time because we’re only a sliver of the perfection of Jesus. But as followers of Christ, we can’t continue to believe that the false-self is who we are. Here’s to a year where every day brings the imposter out into the light and a year of becoming more and more like our true-selves.

-Jacob McCarthy

Esse Quam Videri

I was in a recent conversation with an Apostles church member. In our conversation, she mentioned the phrase, “esse quam videri”. After silently responded with a confused and puzzled gaze, she immediately told me that this was the North Carolina official state motto meaning to be rather than to seem. 

I feel like this Carolinian phrase has accurately summarized my experience being a Raleigh Fellow, especially in the past few weeks. Too often we find ourselves masking attributes of our personhood that we don’t want others to see. Our masks act as veils that hide our beautiful brokenness. I’ve found in my experience – specifically this month – that I’ve torn the mascaraed from my face. I’ve chosen to answer the “how are you today?” question with candor, even if my answer was not pleasant. This leap of courage has been the breeding grounds for acceptance and authenticity. Every Fellow who’s asked me this question has responded with a heart posture geared toward loving me. They each have taken care of me with their warm gazes and sweet hugs. 

The idea that community has allowed me to feel authentic rather than superficial reminds me of our spiritual formation class. During our first class, Mary Vandel Young, challenged us to be space creators, which can be characterized as physically showing hospitality with our body language while also having a curious heart posture. I take this to mean that as a Body we ought to embrace this posture to love others the way Christ loves us. Just as Christ meets us in brokenness, so should we when engaging with our fellow brothers and sisters. The Apostles community has done exactly that. 

Being a recipient of this heart posture has allowed me to feel comfortable being myself without a façade or veil. It’s been a gift to BE KRIS, rather than to simply just seem to be. I’ve received the blessings of sweet fellowship with my mentor, my host fam, our director Ashbut, church members, and – of course – my eleven fellow Fellows (I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH). I have been warmly embraced by many hands and held by souls. I have been welcomed in safe spaces. 

So, thank you to everyone who has made me feel welcomed and loved. I cherish this gift deeply.  

Kris

Excellence over Passion

At the beginning of November, we have a retreat called Micah 6:8. Which reads: He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To at justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. The retreat was focused on this scripture and how with this mandate, we should go and live our lives according to it.

Before I get into more of what I learned from the retreat, I wanna take some time to just say how very blessed I am to be with my friends in this program. Some of my favorite parts of the weekend was eating meals with them. Another highlight was the first day we played football in a field. These friends also are trying to live by this mandate, but also remind me that it’s always good to take some time and to play.

Besides the mandate above, the thing that stuck out to me the most that our speaker, John Richmond said was that we should call people to have more than passion, but to have excellence and work ethic. That we shouldn’t fear failure but to prepare for it. To risk the possibility of failure. What is the cost of not going for it?

This really struck a chord with me. I feel like I am pretty passionate about a lot of things, but I don’t think that I’ve ever strived to be excellent at anything I’m passionate about. That included Jesus and Justice. John ‘s words really made me take a step back and really start to question myself and to tell myself that my passion is not enough, that I have to go above what I’ve been doing and strive for excellence. I’m still trying to figure out how to combine passion and excellence in my walk with Jesus and how passion and excellence looks in other things that I care about, but I feel like the Micah 6:8 retreat along with Fellows have given me the tools to do all this.

Going forward I want to be passionate and strive for excellence with Jesus. With the Micah 6:8 mandate and all the other things that I am passionate about.

Thankful for all these friends that I get to walk through these months with and that I get to watch them be passionate and strive for excellence as well.

-Dyl

Povember Nlog Bost

Nothing grand to say this month guys. In fact been feeling a bit dumpy lately feeling like I don’t measure up. Fellows was described to me once as “an embarrassment of riches”. So many good things all at once you often don’t feel deserving. And I certainly feel as though I fall short of stewarding all of these gifts well. My good friend and mentor (Pauline Byron I’m looking @ you!) always encourages me, in my worst times with the Lord, to just say one thing out loud to Him that I am thankful for. Changes my whole mood and perspective around. So here are a few things I am thankful for about November:

1. When my host sister says “I love you” when I tell her goodnight.

2. The town of Virgilina.

3. Being brave enough to start counseling.

4. How my mentor Pauline gives me a hug and a kiss for every greeting.

5. Joining a rock climbing gym and actually getting stronger.

6. Feeling like I am friends with my coworkers.

7. The Wolfpack.

8. Kassie buying me an acorn sign at Hobby Lobby because it reminded her of me.

9. Taking a nap at my friend Natalie’s house if I need to.

10. Austin’s family’s football tailgate.

11. A puppy brought to class.

12. The best BBQ I have actually ever tasted at an establishment called Redneck BBQ Lab attached to a gas station.

13. Really experiencing autumn leaves for the first time in a while.

14. A walk on the beach while at home.

15. The Raleigh skyline.

16. The freedom to dream what I would like for my next job.

17. Celebrating birthdays of people I really love.

18. Visions of me sitting somewhere peaceful with Jesus.

19. Making friends across the country.

20. Host family always leaving coffee in a mug for me in the mornings.

I could go on & on now that I have started but wow! I feel better already. There is always so much to be thankful for if I just slow down and choose to find it. Gnight bl0og.

-KK

All Aboard the Raleigh Trolley! (Vol. III)

I wanted to start off with a joke about fungi, but we ain’t got mushroom up in this trolley that we are about to board! It’s time for another monthly check-in on how I am doing these 4 different areas of life: social, physical/health, occupation, and spiritual.

Social

I feel I have been relatively steady, emotionally speaking. Classes have been going well, and while we are still covering topics that require a lot of thinking or self-reflection, I have generally been more prepared to talk about / discuss those things. I am really appreciative of the other Fellows in this class, and I feel like I have learned some much about everyone this past month (I think everyone would agree that we are all known much more on a personal level, and I am glad that will continue to develop throughout the year). We started off the month at the Micah 6:8 Retreat at Camp Oak Hill Retreat Center up in Oxford, NC. That was an amazing weekend where we got to learn more about biblical justice and mercy. It’s important to remember that there is only one true Judge, but we are instruments in the orchestra of His Kingdom work, and we all play a role (big or small) in pursuing what is right in this world. On this retreat, we also got to reconnect with old friends, and meet other Fellows from the different groups that attended that conference. On the other weekends/days off, the Raleigh Fellows were: celebrating birthdays, enjoying time with the youth of the church, making ridiculous PowerPoint slides, dancing the night away after our Shabbat Dinner with Aaron Gann, attending an NC State hockey game at PNC Arena (go Ice Pack), and many other things. Thanksgiving break was spent at the new home with the fam, and it was one of the few times a year where we got to have all 6 of us under one roof, sharing a meal at the dinner table. It will probably be one of the last, as my younger brother prepares to become a husband next month!

Physical / Health

I have been playing indoor soccer weekly to stay in shape. Despite the drastic changes in weather, I haven’t been sick or bedridden any, maybe a cold here and there. Some days my hands are pretty cold, some days my hands are moist and sweaty, and I can’t quite explain this phenomenon. I am getting proper rest at night, except for some nights where I fall asleep late watching a game or highlights or something on YouTube. I would like to get back into the habit of having electronics off at least 15-20min before bedtime. 

Occupational

Work was actually going well at the beginning of the month. I was starting to see the fruits of my labor, and I was starting to engage with more people at the office through conversation, projects, etc. One week, I had a meeting with the CEO and the CTO of the company, and on November 17, 2021, probably around 8:33am, I was told that the company could no longer keep their part-time employees, and I was told that my last day of work for that company was November 30. There is nothing wrong that happened with either me or the company, nor is there any bad blood between us two parties. It was simply just time for us to part ways. The company is generously providing a severance for the month of December, so I am not too worried, financially speaking. But for this next month, I will be trying to find another part-time job to work for the remainder of the Fellows year. I may ask that you just pray for wisdom and guidance on my end when it comes to job-hunting and decision-making in the near future, and I ask that you pray for opportunities to arise throughout this next month. 

Spiritual

For this month, I would like to focus on prayer, and spending time with Jesus. One of our Friday classes for Fellows was taught by Pauline Byron, and this was the topic of conversation. We ran through a 10 minute prayer, and during that time we were prompted with some tasks/questions: ‘Leave your thoughts and worries aside..’, ‘Imagine yourself opening a gate, where do you find yourself?’, ‘Where do you see Jesus in that place..?’, ‘What is He saying to you / what is He pointing out to you?’, ‘What should we be thanking the Lord for?’. This ‘liturgy’ was recorded and shared with us after the class, and I have been trying to listen to it every morning while journaling my thoughts, visions, and answers to those questions. I feel I am much more productive, much more appreciative, and much more receptive to what the day offers on the mornings I am able to listen to the recording. Those 10 minutes sometimes drag on, and sometimes they fly by. I am not always calm, or at ease, or focused when I go through this prayer, but it’s a neat little way to exercise creativity when engaging in conversation with Jesus. I have done it enough times to ‘see Him in the different places or areas of my life, or where I want to be’, and honestly, it’s a reminder that He is always present wherever we might find ourselves throughout the day.

Ight, time to get off the trolley. Until next time!

BB

** Some Fellows Pro Tips from  the month of November

- For those considering becoming a Fellow, don’t expect the cabins at the Micah 6:8 Retreat to meet any high standards. Pack more than 1 sheet for your bedding, as your cabin might be a lil chilly at night. 

- Don’t wear a white button-down to a dinner where consuming red wine is an obligation.

- Bring a hot chocolate packet with you on Sunday morning to mix with the church coffee. Nothing against the church's coffee, but those bootleg Sunday-morning mochas absolutely slap when it's cold outside.

- If, one day, you ever decide to eat at Moe’s Southwest Grill (2nd to Chipotle, which is a cold take), the best Moe’s in North Raleigh is the one on Falls of Neuse, above I-540. 

Stretching

November goodness!! I wish I could write down every single thing that made me laugh this month.. But this post would go on for pages and pages!!!!  

There are so many moments of joy that I find myself recalling when I look back on this November. There was just simply so much to celebrate! I’m talking hoedowns at the Micah 6:8 retreat, birthdays, weekends in the snack bar at Windy Gap, denim parties and alllll the laughter in between!!  

Within the celebration there were also moments where leaning in felt very hard, and a few moments that ~made my brain hurt~ ( in a good way) from all the new things we learned !!!

When I tried to think of a word that summed up November I kept coming back to stretching. 

Stretching to me is not a bad thing, but rather a difficult and wonderful thing all in one. God is stretching me and allowing space for me to grow! He is creating space for me to use all of the wonderful tools I’ve been given to see how far and wide and deep His love and His mercy is for me!  One of the most beautiful parts about this stretching is that God stretches us but would never break us. He knows that there is so much work to be done in my life and allows me to see this without giving me too much! 

Morgan Harper Nichols sums up stretching so adequately for me when she says:  
“May each of us soften our hearts to look for moments where coming alive means going beyond what is comfortable, safe, and known. May we allow ourselves to see that when we open up to the possibility of how things could change, we grow.”

yeah!!

Another thing that has been recurring in this November is this simple statement: 

“it’s okay for you to be yourself” 

 I feel relief wash over me when I rest in these words. 

It may feel like a simple statement at first glance, but to me it represents the courage and self- understanding that continues to grow as I release the expectations I pile on myself.  

I’ve found that one of the hardest things to remember when I am lost in these expectations is: 

I am under the Lord’s protective care. He is the lifter of weights. He is the untier of knots. His speciality is in redemption. 

He is the holder of all of my fears and anxieties!

It’s ironic isn’t it? That even in a time where I am consistently learning and meditating on the practices and teachings of God.. I forget to let Him do the heavy lifting! 

I see reminders of his strength and his protective care through one of his greatest gifts: community! 

It’s the Christ in me seeing the Christ in you!

It’s the most beautiful picture! 

I see it in Kris’s humility, Noah’s authenticity, Kayley’s joy, Austin’s strength, Kassie’s gentleness, Brendan’s patience, Hayden’s loyalty, Dylan’s empathy, Mary Ellen’s courageousness, Jacob’s wisdom, Luke’s intentionality, and Ashley’s leadership. 

I see it in the people I love, family and lifelong friendships that are far away physically but so close to me in heart.. They each direct me toward the way of Jesus in so many ways.

My hope is that we can all see the beauty of the Father’s creation through His people in the joy and in the stretching! 

All the love, 

Lauren  

Austin’s Top 10 – November 2021

*This is not ranked in order, just an overall top ten from this month*

1.       Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because it is built around three of the most important things in life: Family, Food, and Football. I loved spending Thanksgiving break with my family this year (especially on Friday as you will read about below). You also may be interested in knowing my favorite Thanksgiving foods, they are honey baked ham and pumpkin pie.

2.       NC State > UNC

Thanksgiving Day was great, but it was far overshadowed by the Friday after. In quite possibly the craziest finish to a football game I’ve ever witnessed, NC State defeated the team from over the hill. And it was amazing. Unfortunately, State didn’t make it to the ACC Championship game this year but at least we’re better than Carolina. Go Pack!

3.       3 Years

On November 22nd Natalie and I celebrated our 3-year anniversary! We had dinner at The Melting Pot, I would like to personally thank whoever first had the idea of melting cheese and dipping different things into it. After dinner we did an escape room, which if you’ve never done an escape room be warned that it is very difficult to do with only two people. We had a lot of fun doing it though, and after a lot of hints as well as going 20 minutes past our time limit, we escaped!

4.       Christmas Parade

The Raleigh Christmas Parade is an all-time classic event. There’s no better way to get into the Christmas Spirit. The parade is full of floats, dance routines, giant balloons, miniature horses, and Christmas music. The best part of all though was the Sanderson High School Marching Band and Color Guard, featuring Matt & Ashley (my host brother & sister).

5.       Fellowsgiving

Before Thanksgiving break all the current and past fellows that are still in Raleigh got together at Ashley’s house for a Friendsgiving lunch. It was awesome to see so many members of the Fellows community spending time together.

6.       Micah 6:8 Retreat

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

Earlier this month the Fellows went on our Micah 6:8 retreat to Camp Oak Hill. We got together with Fellows programs from across the east coast (and Colorado) for a weekend of learning what it means to live out what Micah 6:8 calls us to do; to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God. Although we did not win the ultimate frisbee tournament, we did realize that Raleigh is the best Fellows program in the country.

7.       Mumbo Jumbo

On our Micah 6:8 retreat Dylan and I were given the task to lead a hoedown for the camp. Thus, beginning the journey of Mumbo Jumbo. Dylan and I had a lot of fun during the hoedown, thanks in part to the rest of the Fellows who helped lead the sample circle and reexplain the dances to almost everyone after they were confused from my explanation. I know what you’re thinking, will we ever get to see Mumbo Jumbo in action again? To that all I have to say is, maybe.

8.       Shabbat Dinner

One of the classes that we have been taking this fall is Old Testament. Old Testament is taught by the one and only Aaron Gann. A couple of weeks ago Aaron set up and led us in a traditional Jewish Shabbat dinner. Shabbat (Sabbath) is a time for resting with the Lord and enjoying the company of others. We had a great time singing traditional Shabbat songs, as well as enjoying the traditional Shabbat food.

9.       Jean Party

For one youth group meeting this month instead of having our traditional small group time, we all joined together for a ‘Jean Party’. Everyone was dressed in their best denim attire, and we played some hilarious games which included a Jorts fashion show, as well as an intense lip-sync battle.

10.   Harris Teeter Subs

*No Free Ads* However; Harris Teeter subs are delicious and affordable. On Sundays you can get a full sub for the price of a half sub, you’re welcome.

Comfort, Finally

For as long as I can remember, October has been my favorite month. There’s something about the leaves changing colors, the air becoming a bit more crisp, playoff baseball, basketball beginning, and playing fantasy football that is so fun to me. But with the weather getting warmer (it was 62 today, December 1st) and the leaves changing a bit later, November may have captured my heart.

Beyond the seasonal changes, November as a Raleigh Fellow was incredible. We went on a retreat, celebrated Ashley and Kassie’s birthdays, went on a “hike” at the landfill, had a Shabbat dinner with our Old Testament professor, played a lot of Just Dance, spent some sweet time with our families and loved ones over Thanksgiving, and grew deeper with each other. But what I want to really kick start this blog off with is our retreat. On November 5th, we got the privilege of attending our annual Micah 6:8 retreat.

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

‭‭Micah‬ ‭6:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

On this retreat, we talked about what biblical justice looked like, why justice and mercy cannot be separated, and how to practically live this out as we go back to our respective cities. The biggest thing that stuck out to me was a visual of paths from A to B of both what we think our lives should look like and what they usually are. I’ve always been under the impression that my life should be completely planned out from now until the day I retire (a straight line from A to B). It’s in my ISTJ nature that I desire a plan and I must stick to that plan. My high school friends and I (shout-out the brigs) actually took pride in being spontaneous and it’s an ongoing joke to this day that if you wanted respect from your friends, you would join them in doing something spontaneous. I’ve come to the realization that I have a very low tolerance for spontaneity in my life. While this allows me to be a great planner, organizer, and leader, it has shown me how much I desire control over my life and my circumstances.

I titled this post “Comfort, Finally” because after hearing from John Richmond that a lot of times our lives look like roller coasters from A to B, I felt a sense of peace that I was held, cared for, and protected by the Lord despite what happens in the future. For the first time in what seems like forever, my nerves about my future career, relationship status, and friendships have disappeared. The Lord has been so kind and gracious to me in this process and I feel a release of pressure to perform that has been building up for a long time. While my answer to the question, “so what are you gonna do after the 9 months is up?” hasn’t changed, the tone in my answer has. Instead of a “I don’t know, I guess we will see” that is associated with fear and sadness, it’s changed to a “I don’t know! But I can’t wait to see where the Lord brings me.” that is full of excitement.

John Richmond isn’t the only one who deserves the credit to my feeling of being comforted by the Lord with where I am. I can’t speak highly enough of the rest of the Raleigh Fellows, Ashley, and the committee, host families, mentors, and teachers that want nothing more than to see you grow deeper with Christ. The Fellows have shown me that spontaneity can be such a good and sweet thing, despite the uncomfort it brings me. Like Jesus telling the disciples, “Actually, we’re going to go through Samaria this time.” Ashley has been such a rock to lean on when you feel weary. She is welcoming of doubts, suspicions, and all kinds of fears. She is wise and seems to know exactly what to say. Church members have reached out to get to know us. My host family, the Boulton’s, ask me intentional questions because they desire to know me fully! My mentor, Brian Mann, takes time in his day to provide advice, care, love, and wisdom despite his busy schedule. My professors ask us if we have prayer requests and want to get to know us deeper outside of a lecture. All of these things have brought me to a place where I can say, “Finally, Lord, I have the strength and confidence to approach your throne of grace knowing I am held. Finally, Lord, I have come to your presence to seek your comfort. I’ve let go of my desire to control and I realize I don’t have the capacity to take charge. Here’s my future, Lord. Here I am. Here is my life. Do with it as you please, just give me you.”

Jacob McCarthy

November

November felt like a warm hug. It looked like old friends meeting new friends, orange leaves, a road trip across the state, dog piles, seeing family, Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew, and seeing the Lord’s provision clearly. 

This past month we did lots of neat things, like attending the Micha 6:8 retreat where John Richmond talked to us about justice.

“He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). 

Something he said that stood out to me was, “walking humbly is the prerequisite to seeking justice”. WOW, just let that stir in you a little. To me, that whole retreat was such a good reminder that we are created for God’s glory and to please Him in every way, and that we are all called to seek justice and mercy. 

We did some introspective learning this month as we dug deeper into understanding our enneagram numbers, it has been cool to talk about this in our class where we aren’t afraid to ask each other tough questions and learn ways the Lord has wired us all in a unique way. For me, it has been most helpful learning about the other fellows and how they deal with and process emotions. 

Shabbat dinner was hosted by the lovely Aaron Gann, who made all the food for us to eat and celebrate the sabbath. S/O Aaron! Shabbat Shalom!

Chris and Pauline Byron welcomed us into their home and we learned how to dive into Immanuel Time - which is just a fancy way of saying ‘Being’ with God. This was such a cool thing to experience and hear from the other fellows on how it impacted them. 

Wow, I can’t believe I blinked and November was gone! Those are some new things we did and learned. Thanks for reading! Here are some pictures:

-Hayden

Micah 6:8 retreat (‘:

Sunset hike! This is important

Nick brought his puppy to class <3 thx Nick

Icepack is a funny name XD

Celebrated Kassie’s BDAY!! #23

Parking lot Bojangles

DOG PILEEEE awhhhh

So tender <3333

My friend, Hayden

Hey there BLOGGER NATION. With joy and excitement I come writing this blog post. I can’t believe it's already been a month since I last wrote here. I have spent the past month diving deeper into the lives of each of my fellow friends. It has been really tender to get to know each of them deeper as days pass. As my boy Luke wrote, each one of them reflects the Lord so vibrantly.

Hayden has become a friend that has really surprised me. I say that with an appreciative posture. Coming into the Fellows Program, Hayden wasn’t someone I initially thought I would grow that close with. Praise God that He walked before me and knew just what I needed because HAYDEN BOBO IS INCREDIBLE.

Let me tell you about my friend, Hayden. 

So the fellows have class every Monday and Friday. During those classes we do a lot of listening, feeling, thinking, etc. It can feel like a lot sometimes. Some days I start to feel myself sink in my chair, feeling overwhelmed. I often turn to find wherever Hayden is in those moments. I don't know how, but she always seems to simultaneously look back at me too. With the warmest smile in the world, I am greeted by Hayden and instantly I feel myself growing in my chair again. Hayden makes me feel safe and known.

 As I type this I’m a bit teary because I think it’s a reflection of the kind of friend that Hayden is. She shows up just when you need her and just how you need her to. Whether it is a smile, a painful belly laugh, a serious conversation, Hayden is there. I really don’t really think Hayden knows just how well she is at doing that for our group, so Hayden if you are reading this, I hope it’s affirming. Showing us the heart of Jesus always, and meeting us where we are, I am thankful for my friend Hayden. 

Xoxo, Melon

Serving

This is a fun time of the month for me, another time to write and express to whomever may come across this to share how fortunate I am to be in the position that I currently am in.

First I’d love to write about the serving that I have been able to do, and I don’t mean that in any type of arrogant way, but this program sets you up with all types of ways to serve, and I’d love to share how I’ve been so fortunate to serve the Lord. In the church, you can often find me carrying offering baskets and shuffling the congregation through the communion line. I really wish I could sit here and type something like:

“I’m able to use my God-gifted talents of playing the guitar and voice of an angel to sing worship music every Sunday.”

However, the good Lord had other plans for me and I won’t be coming anywhere close to a microphone unless it’s on my podcast (shameless plug to the Father-Son Podcast found anywhere you podcast) or calling a game. Another cool opportunity that I have written on in this blog series before is tutoring at Neighbor to Neighbor. If there was one thing that may be the most eye opening and fulfilling to me in this program, it is getting to hang out with my favorite elementary school student Jordynn. Jordynn has my heart. Truthfully. And it is a pleasure to teach her math, play games, and hear about her life. If you’re reading this right now I would ask that you take one moment and rejoice her name to the Lord. Thank him for picking me to mentor her and pray for her. Pray for her family. Pray for her wisdom. Praise be to God.

Next, I’d love to touch on how the Raleigh Fellows serve one another. Now my idea of serving in this aspect is going to look a lot different than the two that I just mentioned, but this is just as important to me. Cousin Kris (Kris), KayKay (Kayley), Melon (Mary Ellen), Dunkie (Lauren), Gasssie (Kassie), Haydude (Hayden), Jacor (Jacob), Tuffy (Austin), Lucious (Luke), B (Brendan), and Goomba (Dylan) all have been hand picked by God to be in my life at this very moment and I never knew how much I would have needed it. I can be my true self around these people and they love me for who I am. To me, that is the definition of serving one another. Laughter is very important. And this group does this so well. One instance that I would love to share with you is from camp Oak Hill where we had a retreat with many other fellows groups from all over the region (The Raleigh Fellows is far superior by the way, shoutout AshButt.) On Saturday night, we had a talent show. So each fellows class was sitting with their respective group and supported those who went up on the stage and performed. So just to set the stage all 13 of us were sitting down and someone just performed a banger of a talent, and the crowd goes wild. Tuffy (Austin) was sitting in front of me on the end of the row and Goomba (Dylan) was to my left. Tuffy stands up to give an over the top applause for person on the stage, and right as he stood up, I attempted to take his shirt off. And from there I have never heard someone laugh as hard and as loud as Goomba did. Long story short, Tuffy eventually allowed it to happen and just let the moment sink in, and from here on out that may just be our thing.

This silly story is only a small example of how important these people are to me. And you may think “Noah this is so far from serving one another it’s not even funny.” However, this hits right at home for me. Because I see and hear about people all the time who struggle that don’t have people like this to serve them in this type of way. And I wish for everyone to have a sense of family and community like I do. If that doesn’t show the loving and caring heart that our Lord and Savior has for us, then I don’t know what does. What a gift it is to be able to laugh and serve one another through love and comfortability.

❤️🤟🏼 ŃØÄH

Humility

Y’all ever feel like you know something front to back, like the palm of your own hand, only to find out you have so much more to learn? Yeah, I think I’ve felt this way every single day since I’ve been in Raleigh haha. Talk about being HUMBLED!

In November, we had the outstanding TREAT of attending, and serving as the welcome wagon (shoutout to Austin’s hospitality skills), for the Micah 6:8 retreat! After one of our sessions, we circled up with fellows from other programs to debrief our keynote speaker’s (John Richmond) first talk of the weekend. One of the girls in my group was talking about what she heard him say and ended with this statement, “As a fellow, I feel like I get humbled every. single. day.” As soon as she said that, this overwhelming feeling came over me. In that moment, I was like “Lord, that’s IT. That’s what this whole thing is about.”

What I’m trying to say is I think I came into this program with A LOT of unrealistic and unfair expectations. Expectations for myself, for others, and for the program itself. For the longest time now, I’ve looked at these 9 months as THE THING that would prove just how much I thought I knew. And really the exact opposite has been true. So far, I’ve seen how much I have to learn.

It’s so gracious and kind of the Lord to plop me back down when I come out of the gates running. And let me tell you, I get my booty plopped down more than I’d like to admit but enough to keep me present in the here and now.

This past Sunday at church, my host mom (Robin Bolash if you’re reading this, I think the world of you!) talked about how walking with Jesus isn’t as formulaic as we make it out to be. And trying to put life with the Lord into this neat, step by step plan actually causes us to opt out of partnership with the Holy Spirit and teachable discipleship. Once again, I sat there in awe of how creative the Lord is in grabbing my attention! So that’s where I’m at! To me, doing fellows seemed like the perfect “formula” or the “secret sauce” to following Jesus. And really, that’s just not true. Yes, it’s a helpful tool and a wonderful program designed to be just that! But really, God just wants our fullest attention on Him, His Son, and His Spirit. Thank you Lord for turning my seemingly empty hands over into worship of You. What seems like lack has turned into praise! That’s what this is really about.

With joy and in Christ always,

Kassie Starnes

Reflecting Christ

Hello all!! Wow, what a whirlwind of a month. November was filled with so much deep-rooted joy. I think part of that joy comes from finally being able to truly know the eleven other amazing people I am living life with. When you first join a fellows program, you are thrown into a mosh pit of people with different personalities, different interests, and different ways of living. Yet, even though you are different from them, there is one incredible thing that you have in common, the love of The Lord. I truly see The Lord in each one of them. So, to help you get to know them, this blog post is dedicated to showing y’all how each one of the fellows truly exemplifies Jesus.

Kayley

My girl Kayley is the perfect example of joy. Throughout the gospels we see Jesus explaining to his disciples the importance of having faith like a child. I think Kayley lives out that faith every single day. She is kind, intentional, brave, trusting, and so heartwarming. Before she even meets you, she’s already decided that she will love you. Think about how selfless and hard that is? She truly loves without borders.

Noah

Noah is a perfect example of strength. One of the things I love so much about Noah is that when he enters a room you automatically feel safe. You know that he has your back, no matter the situation that you are in. I think about all my times sitting with the Lord, and how in those moments I don’t feel conflicted or afraid, but safe and secure. I think it’s honestly amazing how we read in the Bible about Noah, a trusted servant of God, who made a refuge for all of the animals. And then I look at our Noah, and I can see how he has become a refuge for all of us.

Dylan

When I think of Dylan one word comes to mind, compassion. He is by far one of the most compassionate, loving people that I have ever had the privilege of meeting. Dylan will laugh with you, cry with you, get angry with you, and most of all, understand you. I think of Jesus, crying over his friend Lazarus, understanding the immense weight of pain Mary and Martha were feeling. That sounds just like Dylan.

Kris

Intentionality. Without a doubt, Kris is the most intentional person I have ever met in my entire life. The moment I met her, I immediately felt seen and known. I felt like I was the woman at the well and she was Jesus. She has the incredible ability to see and understand the circumstances that you are in and love you know matter what. Whenever you are around her, you just drift to her because she makes you feel like you belong.

Jacob

Jacob is the perfect definition of a “fisher of men”. In the gospels we see Jesus call Peter and Andrew, and tell them to drop their nets and he will make them fishers of men. Jacob is an amazing YoungLife leader who goes out of his way to bring kids closer to the gospel. I’ve gotten the amazing opportunity to hear Jacob talk about each one of the boys that he mentored and you can see the impact he had on shepherding those guys towards Christ.

Lauren

There’s a song by United Pursuit called “Lay it All Down” and in the song it talks about laying all of your grief, sorrow, and pain at the feet of Jesus. Lauren is the perfect person who will walk up there with you. She will hold your hand, guide you to Jesus, and hold you as Christ takes your burdens from you. Everything she does, helps point directly to the savior.

Austin

When I picture my conversations with Jesus I immediately picture these deep meaningful discussions filled with belly shaking laughter. That’s exactly what you get with Austin. He has the incredible ability to talk about the deepest parts of yourself and then throw in a joke that has you crying on the floor. That depth is incredible and reminds me so much of the man that Christ is. I can picture Jesus, sitting around a campfire, with arms out wide, saying “welcome”, just as Austin does.

Hayden

When I think of Jesus’s heart, I think of one that is full of love, depth, and warmth. Christ has the ability to see anyone in need and welcomes them into a life of fulfillment with him. Hayden is that same way. When I think of all the times I’ve been sad or upset during my time in Raleigh, the person that always seems to call is Hayden. She never fails to show up and reach out. She doesn’t just reach out, she genuinely cares about you and wants you to lean on her. Her heart is so full of kindness and warmth, just like our kings’. 

Kassie

I think Kassie is one of the most authentic, thoughtful individuals I have ever met. You know those people that are so filled with the holy spirit that you can feel it whenever they talk or pray? That’s Kassie. Whenever she prays I feel as though the whole kingdom of heaven is in the room. Kassie also does this thing where whenever she talks about the greatness of God she cries. I think it's a beautiful representation of the impact The Lord has on her life.

Brendan

Brendan is the definition of a connector. He is so personable and truly connects people of all different walks of life. Think about how Jesus chose his 12 disciples. All of them were so different that no one would have ever thought they could come together to worship The Lord effectively. While it was still sometimes a struggle for them to connect and come together, they were able to become united because of one thing: Jesus. Brendan does the exact same thing. He is a connector that brings people together and immediately points them to Christ.

Mary Ellen

I have never quite met someone like Mary Ellen. She is kind, courageous, bold, brave, and humble. She has this unique ability to see the whole playing field and stand up for what she believes in. Most of all though, I see her as reliable. I think of Jesus’s mother Mary, how she trusted in the Lord and how he gave her the incredible task of raising his son. Mary was strong and so full of faith, just like Mary Ellen. She reminds me like a reed in the wind, unshaken by the movement happening all around her.

A Song for us all: Together by for King & Country

Luke Harvin

Boctober Plog Oost

I know there’s not going to be a way to fudge the numbers on this so yes I will come forward and admit it is a few days into November and I am just now posting this. Also Hayden and I are currently racing to see who does this last. (Update- it was me.) Let’s dive into another poem shall we?

O- is for Oh shoot Jacob and I almost caught Ashley’ house on fire

C is for Can we please go to the Food Lion at Lake Gaston???

T is for The big NUT statue in downtown Raleigh some refer to as Nutzilla

O is for Oh so now we are the kind of friends that work out together?

B is for Bald caps on All-hallows Eve and bOnus Jonas 

E is for Everyone shows up late to class sometimes! We’re only human

R is for Really good blue grass music

Somehow this month is one of the longest in the year yet it went by like a blur. I think that is a good thing? You tell me. I’m gonna try to sum it up for ya though. Outside of all the supa fun activities we did (Giant swings @ the fair, come on somebody!), this month had a lot of depth and a lot of layers to it. Here is what I mean- Fellows is like drinking out of a fire hydrant, except the fire hydrant is full of like the best stuff you can get. Like, there is just so much information and goodness thrown at you constantly. You just try to be a sponge and soak it all up. Something I am soaking up right now is waking up to things that matter. 

October felt like waking up. Waking up to other people around me. Waking up to myself. Waking up to God. Like somehow I have been a little bit asleep my whole life and I am just starting to notice. One way this is unfolding is through Neighbor to Neighbor, which has easily become one of my favorite parts of Fellows. This after school mentoring program in downtown Raleigh helps provide a poorer area of the city with tutoring for kids of all ages. I love my time here. It has forced me to see things I can’t un-see. There are kids here struggling to read, add and subtract, and just learn. Education is a gift and these kids deserve it. Getting to invest in them for an hour or two every week, whether that be tutoring or fitting 6 people into a jump rope swing, fills me up. There have been kids like this in every city I have lived in my whole life, and just because I didn’t see them, doesn’t mean they weren’t there.

Another thing I am waking up to is just the people in the city as a whole. Our Just Leadership class taught by David Spickard (David if you ever see this, you’re wonderful and ily) has been one of the most eye opening and thought provoking things I have ever encountered. We are covering all kinds of topics from biblical justice to racial tensions to cultural competency- you name it! One really incredible thing we did is take a field trip over to the Raleigh Rescue Mission, a non-profit right downtown. They are actively serving the homeless population of Raleigh. Not just handing them a $5 bill or a granola bar, and not just a bed to sleep in for a night either. They are teaching and equipping these people to have competency and skills to have a well-paying job and setting them up to be successful when they exit their doors. Why? Because they believe everyone has inherent worth in Christ Jesus. THAT’S POWERFUL. And yes, these folks are “experiencing homelessness”, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. There are so many people who find themselves in extreme poverty in Raleigh and now I am alot more inclined to ponder them!

Last thing I will mention is I just feel like I am waking up a bit to myself. Through an enneagram class and a Myers-Briggs class, I have had multiple hours poured into figuring out why I am the way that I am. Finally I have language to describe my motivations, thinking process, desires, problem-solving, basically what makes me- ME! I have felt so encouraged by this and can already see the fruit of understanding myself and others better in the group. Our Genogram (Family Systems Theory) weekend really was also eye-opening. Turns out your family has a big part to do with how you are who you are. I felt shocked that it applied to me. I feel, now, excited and nervous to dive deeper into asking my family important questions about themselves and their families, which will in turn help me learn a lot about myself. So yeah, in a way, I am meeting a lot of parts of myself that were always there but I am just now bringing to the light!

I can’t really go back to sleep after all I'm awake to now! But I don’t really wanna. Thank you October for showing me the truth about the issues and struggles that I and the people around me are facing. As painful as it is to see my neighbors who have been glossed over, it feels good to know a little bit more than I did before, and it feels encouraging to know there are ways I can help. Noticing this isn’t as light-hearted as I intended but that’s okay! Until next month Raleigh Fellows BL00G!

-Kayley

October God Sightings

Wow, I can’t believe October flew by just like that. It was full of ups and downs and a lot of growth. This past week at roundtable everyone went around the table to share their God sightings of the past week, I loved the idea of briefly reflecting on where we had seen the Lord at work. So I am gonna do a few God sightings for October!!

-       Time spent with my host fam this past month has been such a blessing!! I love the Miedema fam! Their hospitality to me and the other fellows has been so sweet and a great example of Christ’s love for us.

-       Fall Camp!! We got to go to New Life Camp here in Raleigh with COTA Students. At camp, we got to lead and build stronger relationships with our small group kiddos.  #Mr.Worldwideeeeee

-       Jason Young’s genogram weekend @ Lake Gaston (35 miles of paradise) was super cool and I am excited to dig deeper and see the ways the Lord will grow and challenge me through this assignment. 

-       We celebrated Kris’s birthday!!! It was a joy to watch everyone love on her and so fun to have her twin come up and surprise her! Their love is so special!!

-       October was huge for building deeper relationships. During this month, I shared my testimony for the first time so being vulnerable with my new friends is something that has been proven to be a gift. 

A verse that has been sticking out to me a lot lately has been James 1:19 – My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

I’ve noticed that the more I am living in a James 1:19 way, quick to listen, slow to speak & become angry, the clearer God sightings in my life are.

- Hayden   

The Gratitude Garden of our Hearts

I never quite understood my sister’s admiration for flowers until a national pandemic swept the globe. After arriving back in the States from a semester abroad in Uganda, my sister and I found ourselves quarantining in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania. As I’m sure many experienced, the shutdown period made it immensely challenging to find reasons to be grateful. 

Given this dilemma, Ashley had an idea. She decided to make a gratitude garden. Every day we picked one thing that we were grateful for, wrote it down on a paper-cut-out flower, and then taped it on the wall. Our kitchen wall became full of lively and vibrant flowers of every shape, size, and color. It was beautiful. 

Over time I began to reflect and introspect on the notion of gratitude. It didn’t take long to recognize that the absence of experiences with friends, lack of places to go, and zero opportunities to see people made for a very challenging time brainstorming things to be grateful for. I felt like I was writing down the same things or, when I found something to be grateful for, it took a while to find it. And then, I began to ask myself questions about gratitude, flower gardens, and the relationship between them. 

You see, each written gratitude – be it small or large– was a constituent to a larger narrative. Though a flower be small, it contributed into creating a garden, lively and unmistakably vibrant. Thus, it’s fair to say that a flower marked with a singular gratitude didn’t just die or become forgotten once we taped it on the wall, but rather served as a long-lasting fingerprint of God’s goodness in the larger picture. 

As I reflected on my time creating the gratitude garden, I not only realized that being grateful fell into a moral obligation, but I also became increasingly interested in the difference between something that made me happy verses something that made me grateful. In the former and the latter, I recognized that gratitude has more to it than sheer duty and happiness. It was too reductionistic and superficial to say that gratitude was professing things that made me happy. I tried to find the good in my days – which was based off experiential happiness - and titled it as gratitude. The presumption behind this method of thinking presupposes that happiness, or gratitude, is a feeling. 

So, I found myself stuck here: What is the beginning framework and foundation point for a grateful heart if it’s not entirely based on the feeling of happiness?

I’ve chewed on this question since the pandemic. More recently, since being a Raleigh Fellow, I’ve began to think about the theological implications in the true essence of gratitude. I am reminded of the suffering servant, Job, when he shaved the hair from his head, tore his rob off and exclaimed to God, “‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised’. In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing “(v. 1:20-22). Jobs response to trails ought to inform us about our perspective on gratitude. Instead of cursing God for everything he lost, Job tore off his garment, fell to the ground, and worshipped God, professing that his greatest gift was Christ. 

I suggest that the vignette of Job ought to be our starting place in gratitude. Within twenty verses, we see Job lose his livestock, servants, and family, yet still gives glory to God. Talk about a faithful servant. Job’s loss suggests the everything we have in our life is a loan. That’s right – a loan. We must treat our lives like a loan, where we acknowledge that our resources, skills, competences, and entire beings are a gift from God. Gratitude, then, is not a mere experience of happiness, but a heart posture of humility which then turns into a profession of gratefulness for the Lord’s workmanship. It’s more than just benefiting from what God gives but delighting in the beauty and greatness of God’s character through His created and creation. Thankfully, there are many things in our physical world that reflect His nature, to which we must recognize and give thanks to God. Therefore, I think it’s fair to say that happiness does play a role in gratefulness, but maybe it’s not necessarily the beginning point. I think the beginning point is like Job’s heart posture when he knelt before the Lord. It’s ultimately professing that the truest and greatest gift in our life is in the salvific work of Christ. 

So, in the flower garden metaphor, our admiration for the gift of salvation is like fertile soil, the substance in which enables flowers to grow. We need nutrient-rich soil to grow strong, healthy, and life-giving flowers. Flowers, then, are the product of a grateful heart. So, brothers and sisters, I encourage you to join me by embracing a heart posture like Job. My hope is that my heart (and your heart as well) is like a flower garden, physically marking the things that the Lord has gifted to us, and in response, we give God the glory for the provision of such gifts. And, if we so dare choose, make the conscious effort to welcome visitors in that space and share our flowers. Allow your flowers to produce an aroma so vigorous that it welcomes others in your garden, so much so, that they would be drawn to Christ. 

A closing prayer:

Father, we pray that your Son’s atoning work would be our greatest gift. We humbly pray that we would begin to cultivate soil that fosters healthy living conditions for flowers that would bloom in such a way that gives true radiance and glory to your workmanship. May we learn to be grateful with little and grateful with plenty. Amen. 

Kris

October recs!!

One of the questions I love the most is, “What do you recommend?”. Answers usually vary anywhere from tv show & song recs to profound and wise life advice. Just a fun question that lets you take note of the good stuff around ya. If someone were to ask me what I would recommend for the month of October here’s what I would say:

-bald caps as the foundation for your Halloween costume HA

-the “grassy” spot in front of Chuy’s (if ya know, YOU KNOW)

- starting your week with clean sheets

-the Tilt-a-whirl ride at the state fair

-Jello for dessert at roundtable

-always having the Hokas either on your feet or in your car (never know when you might have a chance for a good, solo stroll)

-sending pictures of your Halloween costume(s) to your host family

-the pumpkin cream cheese muffins from Whole Foods (Robin keeps buying them and I’m OBSESSED)

-Taylor Swift (literally any era)

-party hats

-concerts with your host sis-ILY RISA!!!

- 7th grade girls; they’re SO funny and silly and teach me more about the Lord every time I’m with them

-snapping a pic of the fall leaves when the light hits ‘em just right

-playing the whisper challenge game with the funniest people you know (shoutout to my right hand squirrels, this is the nickname me and my fellow ladies have dubbed ourselves as #cityofOaks)

-Generous Justice by Timothy Keller

-sitting at Sola (coffee shop here in Raleigh!) on the perfect CRISP! fall afternoon

-eating lunch outside whenever you can

-going for a walk with your prayer partner

-stay and play after mentoring at Neighbor to Neighbor

-friends who share their Gushers™ with you, even when you never finish the reading for Old Testament

-bonding over celebs with your boss (especially when she used to teach Zumba in the early 2000s and both of you have a soft spot for Pitbull)

I could go on and on, but I’m gonna stop here. October felt really weird at times, and the fact that I’m living in Raleigh for the next year hit me kinda hard this past month. Safe to say that the “honeymoon” phase of Fellows has ended. But I thought that naming the good in the midst of the weird and hard would be grounding and encouraging for my soul. If you made it this far, I hope reading this pushes you to do the same!

“Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—how good God is. Blessed are you who run to him.” Psalm 34:8 MSG

With joy and in Christ always,

Kassie Starnes

THE TILT-A-WHIRL!!! Best thing the NC state fair has to offer.

Lauren and I at the ~grassy~ spot.

Bald cap squirrels HAHA

Me and my middle school FRIENDS!!!

Playing jump rope @ Neighbor to Neighbor!